1
00:00:08,081 --> 00:00:11,938
The following trailer is rated 'S' for Super Spoilers.
2
00:00:12,277 --> 00:00:13,958
From Zach Snyder,
3
00:00:13,958 --> 00:00:18,167
the visionary director behind Legend of the Guardians: The Owls of Ga'Hoole,
4
00:00:18,167 --> 00:00:21,912
comes the world's most hopeful superhero in his inevitable, dark,
5
00:00:21,912 --> 00:00:23,726
moody Chrisopher Nolan update.
6
00:00:23,772 --> 00:00:27,406
Because god forbid a Superman movie be any damn fun for anybody.
7
00:00:27,406 --> 00:00:31,529
- No!
8
00:00:31,652 --> 00:00:34,609
Man of Steel
9
00:00:34,778 --> 00:00:37,048
Prepare for a mopey, violent reboot,
10
00:00:37,048 --> 00:00:40,748
guaranteed to depress adults and frighten small children,
11
00:00:40,748 --> 00:00:46,458
where one of America's greatest icons, Superman, is played by this English man
12
00:00:46,489 --> 00:00:48,680
with the acting range of a crumpet.
13
00:00:48,680 --> 00:00:51,245
- Who are you?
- I am your father, Kal.
14
00:00:51,245 --> 00:00:52,712
- That's my name?
15
00:00:52,727 --> 00:00:55,164
But my god, what a beefcake!
16
00:00:55,195 --> 00:01:00,077
He is the hero who stood for truth, justice, and the American way. But this time,
17
00:01:00,077 --> 00:01:03,317
he stands for destroying American property.
18
00:01:03,317 --> 00:01:06,298
- That's a 12-million-dollar piece of hardware!
- It was.
19
00:01:06,298 --> 00:01:09,207
The Canadian Arctic, this guy's livelihood,
20
00:01:10,330 --> 00:01:13,637
Bruce Wayne's satellite, downtown Smallville.
21
00:01:13,637 --> 00:01:16,378
...and like half of Metropolis.
22
00:01:20,179 --> 00:01:21,398
It's a bird.
23
00:01:21,398 --> 00:01:22,397
It's a plane.
24
00:01:22,414 --> 00:01:25,875
It's... coming right for us. Everybody, run!
25
00:01:26,106 --> 00:01:28,570
A journey to Superman's birthplace of Pandora.
26
00:01:28,601 --> 00:01:30,288
Er.. Krypton.
27
00:01:30,303 --> 00:01:33,389
An alien world full of... Avatar birds,
28
00:01:33,389 --> 00:01:37,675
Matrix babies, sepia tone, way too many subplots.
29
00:01:37,866 --> 00:01:39,901
- Krypton's core is collapsing.
30
00:01:39,901 --> 00:01:41,968
- This council has been disbanded.
31
00:01:41,968 --> 00:01:45,602
- I know you stole the codex. I will find him!
32
00:01:45,602 --> 00:01:48,287
And ships shaped like wangs.
33
00:01:48,287 --> 00:01:54,487
Meet General Zod, a Kryptonian out to destroy humanity with the power of
34
00:01:54,487 --> 00:01:55,550
dubstep!
35
00:02:05,782 --> 00:02:09,939
In order to defeat Zod, Superman must decide which of his two Robin Hood
36
00:02:09,939 --> 00:02:11,695
dads to listen to.
37
00:02:11,695 --> 00:02:15,169
Space dad says, "Show off your powers to inspire humanity."
38
00:02:15,199 --> 00:02:17,657
- You could be the bridge between two peoples.
39
00:02:17,657 --> 00:02:21,077
Farm dad says, "Hide your powers and let innocent people die."
40
00:02:21,077 --> 00:02:24,379
- What was I supposed to do? Just let them die?
- Maybe.
41
00:02:24,379 --> 00:02:30,664
Watch Superman honor them both as he shows off his powers and lets innocent people die.
42
00:02:30,664 --> 00:02:33,620
Meet Lois Lane, a Pulitzer-prize-winning reporter.
43
00:02:33,620 --> 00:02:35,248
- I'm a Pulitzer-prize-winning reporter.
44
00:02:35,248 --> 00:02:36,916
That's what I just said. She's a
45
00:02:36,916 --> 00:02:41,324
superhero in her own right with the powers of staying alive in sub-freezing temperatures,
46
00:02:41,324 --> 00:02:45,031
scaling ice mountains, seducing hot space dudes, and
47
00:02:45,031 --> 00:02:47,533
showing up wherever the plot needs her to be.
48
00:02:47,733 --> 00:02:51,105
- General Zod would like for this woman to accompany me.
49
00:02:51,105 --> 00:02:53,575
Come on, there's no reason she should be on that military plane.
50
00:02:53,575 --> 00:02:55,809
- It's supposed to go in all the way!
51
00:02:55,809 --> 00:02:58,586
Heh! That's what she said!
52
00:02:58,647 --> 00:03:03,838
When Lois uses her Nikon camera to photograph this Budweiser-drinking alien, she will discover the truth
53
00:03:03,838 --> 00:03:08,603
from his friend at the IHOP. But when Zod sends her a message on his Nokia phone,
54
00:03:08,603 --> 00:03:14,144
it's up to Superman to take him on with this U-Haul truck, through the 7-Eleven, back to the IHOP,
55
00:03:14,144 --> 00:03:15,923
and inside this Sears.
56
00:03:19,816 --> 00:03:24,334
So, if you loved the Christopher Reeve Superman movies but wish they had made them a little less
57
00:03:24,334 --> 00:03:29,168
hopeful, killed a couple of civilians, visualized our worst fears of urban terrorism,
58
00:03:29,168 --> 00:03:33,620
and had Superman overcome his first villain by murdering him with his bare hands,
59
00:03:33,620 --> 00:03:37,105
DC has made the reboot for you, psycho!
60
00:03:41,675 --> 00:03:42,947
Yikes!
61
00:03:42,947 --> 00:03:44,024
Starring:
62
00:03:44,024 --> 00:03:45,428
Specific Zod
63
00:03:45,428 --> 00:03:46,790
April O'Neil
64
00:03:46,790 --> 00:03:47,873
Ghost Dad
65
00:03:47,873 --> 00:03:49,530
Fallout Box Art
66
00:03:49,530 --> 00:03:50,712
Kevin Costco
67
00:03:50,727 --> 00:03:52,261
Perry Black
68
00:03:52,261 --> 00:03:54,008
Superman pooping
69
00:03:54,008 --> 00:03:56,370
and those pin art desk toy things...
70
00:03:56,370 --> 00:03:59,974
..You know, those Spencer's gifts - the ones you used to press your face against..?
71
00:03:59,974 --> 00:04:01,451
You guys know what I'm talking about, right?
72
00:04:01,451 --> 00:04:03,210
Man of Steel
73
00:04:04,209 --> 00:04:08,232
Can't believe I'm now actually rooting for Ben Affleck to kick this guy's ass.
74
00:04:09,479 --> 00:04:11,595
Thanks for watching.
75
00:04:11,703 --> 00:04:15,227
I am going to steal the Declaration of Independence.
76
00:04:15,227 --> 00:04:18,767
The jerk store called and they ran out of you.
77
00:04:18,767 --> 00:04:20,611
Spooon!
78
00:04:20,611 --> 00:04:23,168
The fox says what I say it says!
79
00:04:23,168 --> 00:04:28,426
I am vengeance. I am the night. I am Batman!
80
00:04:28,426 --> 00:04:29,924
Hey, screen junkies!
81
00:04:29,924 --> 00:04:33,418
For more awesome stuff, click here to subscribe.