[Script Info]
Title: 
[Events]
Format: Layer, Start, End, Style, Name, MarginL, MarginR, MarginV, Effect, Text
Dialogue: 0,0:00:08.08,0:00:11.94,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The following trailer is rated 'S' for Super Spoilers.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:12.28,0:00:13.96,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,From Zach Snyder,
Dialogue: 0,0:00:13.96,0:00:18.17,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,the visionary director behind {\i1}Legend of the Guardians: The Owls of Ga'Hoole{\i0},
Dialogue: 0,0:00:18.17,0:00:21.91,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,comes the world's most hopeful superhero in his inevitable, dark,
Dialogue: 0,0:00:21.91,0:00:23.73,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,moody Chrisopher Nolan update.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:23.77,0:00:27.41,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Because god forbid a Superman movie be any damn fun for anybody.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:27.41,0:00:31.53,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,- No!
Dialogue: 0,0:00:31.65,0:00:34.61,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,{\i1}Man of Steel{\i0}
Dialogue: 0,0:00:34.78,0:00:37.05,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Prepare for a mopey, violent reboot,
Dialogue: 0,0:00:37.05,0:00:40.75,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,guaranteed to depress adults and frighten small children,
Dialogue: 0,0:00:40.75,0:00:46.46,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,where one of America's greatest icons, Superman, is played by this English man
Dialogue: 0,0:00:46.49,0:00:48.68,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,with the acting range of a crumpet.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:48.68,0:00:51.24,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,- Who are you?\N- I am your father, Kal.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:51.24,0:00:52.71,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,- That's my name?
Dialogue: 0,0:00:52.73,0:00:55.16,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But my god, what a beefcake!
Dialogue: 0,0:00:55.20,0:01:00.08,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,He is the hero who stood for truth, justice, and the American way. But this time,
Dialogue: 0,0:01:00.08,0:01:03.32,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,he stands for destroying American property.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:03.32,0:01:06.30,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,- That's a 12-million-dollar piece of hardware!\N- It was.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:06.30,0:01:09.21,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The Canadian Arctic, this guy's livelihood,
Dialogue: 0,0:01:10.33,0:01:13.64,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Bruce Wayne's satellite, downtown small bill.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:13.64,0:01:16.38,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,...and like half of Metropolis.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:20.18,0:01:21.40,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It's a bird.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:21.40,0:01:22.40,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It's a plane.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:22.41,0:01:25.88,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It's... coming right for us. Everybody, run!
Dialogue: 0,0:01:26.11,0:01:28.57,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,A journey to Superman's birthplace of Pandora.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:28.60,0:01:30.29,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Er.. Krypton.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:30.30,0:01:33.39,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,An alien world full of... Avatar birds,
Dialogue: 0,0:01:33.39,0:01:37.68,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Matrix babies, sepia tone, way too many sublights.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:37.87,0:01:39.90,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,- Krypton's core is collapsing.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:39.90,0:01:41.97,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,- This council has been disbanded.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:41.97,0:01:45.60,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,- I know you stole the codex. I will find him!
Dialogue: 0,0:01:45.60,0:01:48.29,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And ships shaped like wangs.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:48.29,0:01:54.49,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Meet General Zod, a Kryptonian out to destroy humanity with the power of
Dialogue: 0,0:01:54.49,0:01:55.55,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,dubstep!
Dialogue: 0,0:02:05.78,0:02:09.94,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,In order to defeat Zod, Superman must decide which of his two Robin Hood
Dialogue: 0,0:02:09.94,0:02:11.70,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,dads to listen to.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:11.70,0:02:15.17,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Space dad says, "Show off your powers to inspire humanity."
Dialogue: 0,0:02:15.20,0:02:17.66,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,- You could be the bridge between two peoples.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:17.66,0:02:21.08,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Farm dad says, "Hide your powers and let innocent people die."
Dialogue: 0,0:02:21.08,0:02:24.38,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,- What was I supposed to do? Just let them die?\N- Maybe.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:24.38,0:02:30.66,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Watch Superman honor them both as he shows off his powers {\i1}and{\i0} lets innocent people die.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:30.66,0:02:33.62,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Meet Lois Lane, a Pulitzer-prize-winning reporter.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:33.62,0:02:35.25,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,- I'm a Pulitzer-prize-winning reporter.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:35.25,0:02:36.92,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,That's what I just said. She's a
Dialogue: 0,0:02:36.92,0:02:41.32,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,superhero in her own right with the powers of staying alive in freezing temperatures,
Dialogue: 0,0:02:41.32,0:02:45.03,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,scaling ice mountains, seducing hot space dudes, and
Dialogue: 0,0:02:45.03,0:02:47.53,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,showing up wherever the plot needs her to be.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:47.73,0:02:51.10,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,- General Zod would like for this woman to accompany me.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:51.10,0:02:53.58,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Come on, there's no reason she should be on that military plane.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:53.58,0:02:55.81,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,- It's supposed to go in all the way!
Dialogue: 0,0:02:55.81,0:02:58.59,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Heh! That's what she said!
Dialogue: 0,0:02:58.65,0:03:03.84,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,When Lois uses her Nikon camera to photograph this Budweiser-drinking alien, she will discover the truth
Dialogue: 0,0:03:03.84,0:03:08.60,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,from his friend at the IHOP. But when Zod sends her a message on his Nokia phone,
Dialogue: 0,0:03:08.60,0:03:14.14,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,it's up to Superman to take him on with this U-Haul truck, through the 7-Eleven, back to the IHOP,
Dialogue: 0,0:03:14.14,0:03:15.92,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and inside this Sears.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:19.82,0:03:24.33,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So, if you loved the Christopher Reeve Superman movies but wish they had made them a little less
Dialogue: 0,0:03:24.33,0:03:29.17,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,hopeful, killed a couple of civilians, visualized our worst fears of urban terrorism,
Dialogue: 0,0:03:29.17,0:03:33.62,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and had Superman overcome his first villain by murdering him with his bare hands,
Dialogue: 0,0:03:33.62,0:03:37.10,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,DC has made the reboot for you, psycho!
Dialogue: 0,0:03:41.68,0:03:42.95,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Yikes!
Dialogue: 0,0:03:42.95,0:03:44.02,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Starring:
Dialogue: 0,0:03:44.02,0:03:45.43,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Specific Zod
Dialogue: 0,0:03:45.43,0:03:46.79,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,April O'Neil
Dialogue: 0,0:03:46.79,0:03:47.87,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Ghost Dad
Dialogue: 0,0:03:47.87,0:03:49.53,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Fallout Box Art
Dialogue: 0,0:03:49.53,0:03:50.71,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Kevin Costco
Dialogue: 0,0:03:50.73,0:03:52.26,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Perry Black
Dialogue: 0,0:03:52.26,0:03:54.01,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Superman pooping
Dialogue: 0,0:03:54.01,0:03:56.37,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and those pin art desk toy things...
Dialogue: 0,0:03:56.37,0:03:59.97,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,..You know, those gifts - the ones you used to press your face against..?
Dialogue: 0,0:03:59.97,0:04:01.45,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You guys know what I'm talking about, right?
Dialogue: 0,0:04:01.45,0:04:03.21,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,{\i1}Man of Steel{\i0}
Dialogue: 0,0:04:04.21,0:04:08.23,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Can't believe I'm now actually rooting for Ben Affleck to kick this guy's ass.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:09.48,0:04:11.60,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Thanks for watching.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:11.70,0:04:15.23,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I am going to steal the declaration of independence.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:15.23,0:04:18.77,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The jerk store called and they ran out of you.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:18.77,0:04:20.61,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Spooon!
Dialogue: 0,0:04:20.61,0:04:23.17,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The fox says what I say it says!
Dialogue: 0,0:04:23.17,0:04:28.43,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I am vengeance. I am the night. I am Batman!
Dialogue: 0,0:04:28.43,0:04:29.92,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Hey, screen junkies!
Dialogue: 0,0:04:29.92,0:04:33.42,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,For more awesome stuff, click here to subscribe.