0:00:08.081,0:00:11.938 The following is rated 'S' for Super Spoilers. 0:00:12.277,0:00:13.958 From Zach Snyder, 0:00:13.958,0:00:18.167 the visionary director behind Legend of the Guardians: The Owls of Ga'Hoole 0:00:18.167,0:00:21.912 comes the world's most hopeful superhero in his inevitable, dark, 0:00:21.912,0:00:23.726 moody Christopher Nolan update. 0:00:23.772,0:00:27.406 Because god forbid a Superman movie be any damn fun for anybody. 0:00:27.406,0:00:31.529 - No! 0:00:31.652,0:00:34.609 Man of Steel 0:00:34.778,0:00:37.048 Prepare for a mopey, violent reboot, 0:00:37.048,0:00:40.748 guaranteed to depress adults and frighten small children, 0:00:40.748,0:00:46.458 where one of America's greatest icons, Superman is played by this English man 0:00:46.489,0:00:48.680 with the acting range of a crumpet. 0:00:48.680,0:00:51.245 - Who are you?[br]- I am your father, Kal 0:00:51.245,0:00:52.712 - That's my name? 0:00:52.727,0:00:55.164 But my god, what a beefcake! 0:00:55.195,0:01:00.077 He is the hero who stood for truth, justice, and the American way. But this time, 0:01:00.077,0:01:03.317 he stands for destroying American property 0:01:03.317,0:01:06.298 - That's a 12-million-dollar piece of hardware! 0:01:06.298,0:01:09.207 The Canadian Arctic, this guy's livelihood, 0:01:10.330,0:01:13.637 Bruce Wayne's satellite, downtown small bill. 0:01:13.637,0:01:16.378 ...and like half of Metropolis 0:01:20.179,0:01:21.398 It's a bird. 0:01:21.398,0:01:22.397 It's a plane. 0:01:22.414,0:01:25.875 It's... coming right for us. Everybody, run! 0:01:26.106,0:01:28.570 A journey to Superman's birthplace of Pandora. 0:01:28.601,0:01:30.288 Er..Krypton. 0:01:30.303,0:01:33.389 An alien world full of... Avatar birds, 0:01:33.389,0:01:37.675 Matrix babies, sepia tone, way too many sublights. 0:01:37.866,0:01:39.901 - Krypton's core is collapsing. 0:01:39.901,0:01:41.968 - This council has been disbanded. 0:01:41.968,0:01:45.602 - I know you stole the codex. I will find him! 0:01:45.602,0:01:48.287 And ships shaped like wangs. 0:01:48.287,0:01:54.487 Meet General Zod, a Kryptonian out to destroy [br]humanity with the power of 0:01:54.487,0:01:55.550 dubstep! 0:02:05.782,0:02:09.939 In order to defeat Zod, Superman must decide which [br]of his two Robin Hood 0:02:09.939,0:02:11.695 dads to listen to. 0:02:11.695,0:02:15.169 Space dad says, "Show off your powers to inspire humanity." 0:02:15.199,0:02:17.657 - You could be the bridge between two peoples. 0:02:17.657,0:02:21.077 Farm dad says, "Hide your powers and let innocent people die." 0:02:21.077,0:02:24.379 -What was I supposed to do? Just let them die?[br]-Maybe. 0:02:24.379,0:02:30.664 Watch Superman honor them both as he shows off[br]his powers and lets innocent people die. 0:02:30.664,0:02:33.620 Meet Lois Lane, a Pulitzer-prize-winning reporter. 0:02:33.620,0:02:35.248 -I'm a Pulitzer-prize-winning reporter. 0:02:35.248,0:02:36.916 That's what I just said. She's a 0:02:36.916,0:02:41.324 superhero in her own right with the powers of staying alive in freezing temperatures, 0:02:41.324,0:02:45.031 scaling ice mountains, seducing hot space dudes, and 0:02:45.031,0:02:47.533 showing up wherever the plot needs her to be. 0:02:47.733,0:02:51.105 -General Zod would like for this woman to [br]accompany me. 0:02:51.105,0:02:53.575 Come on, there's no reason she should be on that[br]military plane. 0:02:53.575,0:02:55.809 -It's supposed to go in all the way! 0:02:55.809,0:02:58.586 Heh! That's what she said! 0:02:58.647,0:03:03.838 When Lois uses her Nikon camera to photograph this [br]Budweiser-drinking alien, she will discover the truth 0:03:03.838,0:03:08.603 from his friend at the IHOP. But when Zod sends her a message on his Nokia phone, 0:03:08.603,0:03:14.144 it's up to Superman to take him on with this U-Haul [br]truck, through the 7-Eleven, back to the IHOP, 0:03:14.144,0:03:15.923 and inside this Sears. 0:03:19.816,0:03:24.334 So, if you loved the Christopher Reeve Superman[br]movies but wish they had them a little less 0:03:24.334,0:03:29.168 hopeful, killed a couple of civilians, visualized our[br]worst fears of urban terrorism, 0:03:29.168,0:03:33.620 and had Superman overcome his first villain by murdering him with his bare hands, 0:03:33.620,0:03:37.105 DC has made the reboot for you, pshyco! 0:03:41.675,0:03:42.947 Yikes! 0:03:42.947,0:03:44.024 Starring: 0:03:44.024,0:03:45.428 Specific Zod 0:03:45.428,0:03:46.790 April O'Neil 0:03:46.790,0:03:47.873 Ghost Dad 0:03:47.873,0:03:49.530 Fallout Box Art 0:03:49.530,0:03:50.712 Kevin Costco 0:03:50.727,0:03:52.261 Perry Black 0:03:52.261,0:03:54.008 Superman pooping 0:03:54.008,0:03:56.370 and those pin art desk toy things... 0:03:56.370,0:03:59.974 ..You know, those gifts - the ones you used to press your face against..? 0:03:59.974,0:04:01.451 You guys know what I'm talking about, right? 0:04:01.451,0:04:03.210 Man of Steel 0:04:04.209,0:04:08.232 Can't believe I'm now actually rooting for Ben Affleck[br]to kick this guy's ass. 0:04:09.479,0:04:11.595 Thanks for watching. 0:04:11.703,0:04:15.227 I am going to steal the declaration of independence. 0:04:15.227,0:04:18.767 The jerk store called and they ran out of you. 0:04:18.767,0:04:20.611 Spooon! 0:04:20.611,0:04:23.168 The fox says what I say it says! 0:04:23.168,0:04:28.426 I am vengeance. I am the night. I am Batman! 0:04:28.426,0:04:29.924 Hey, screen junkies! 0:04:29.924,0:04:33.418 For more awesome stuff, click here to subscribe.