0:00:02.000,0:00:05.478
Thank you. I have to tell you[br]I'm both challenged and excited.

0:00:05.502,0:00:08.414
My excitement is: I get a chance[br]to give something back.

0:00:08.438,0:00:11.976
My challenge is: the shortest seminar[br]I usually do is 50 hours.

0:00:12.000,0:00:13.625
(Laughter)

0:00:13.649,0:00:15.879
I'm not exaggerating. I do weekends

0:00:15.903,0:00:18.138
-- I do more, obviously,[br]I also coach people --

0:00:18.162,0:00:20.933
but I'm into immersion,[br]because how did you learn language?

0:00:20.957,0:00:22.562
Not just by learning principles,

0:00:22.586,0:00:25.439
you got in it and you did it[br]so often that it became real.

0:00:25.463,0:00:28.940
The bottom line of why I'm here,[br]besides being a crazy mofo, is that --

0:00:28.964,0:00:32.703
I'm not here to motivate you,[br]you don't need that, obviously.

0:00:32.727,0:00:34.750
Often that's what people think I do,

0:00:34.774,0:00:36.489
and it's the furthest thing from it.

0:00:36.513,0:00:38.558
What happens, though, is people say to me,

0:00:38.582,0:00:40.050
"I don't need any motivation."

0:00:40.075,0:00:41.617
But that's not what I do.

0:00:41.641,0:00:43.508
I'm the "why" guy.

0:00:43.532,0:00:45.604
I want to know why you do what you do.

0:00:45.628,0:00:47.453
What is your motive for action?

0:00:48.135,0:00:51.313
What is it that drives you[br]in your life today? Not 10 years ago.

0:00:51.337,0:00:53.042
Are you running the same pattern?

0:00:53.066,0:00:56.978
Because I believe that the invisible force[br]of internal drive, activated,

0:00:57.002,0:00:58.810
is the most important thing.

0:00:58.834,0:01:02.413
I'm here because I believe[br]emotion is the force of life.

0:01:02.437,0:01:04.254
All of us here have great minds.

0:01:04.278,0:01:06.706
Most of us here have great minds, right?

0:01:06.730,0:01:09.090
We all know how to think.

0:01:09.114,0:01:11.203
With our minds we can[br]rationalize anything.

0:01:11.227,0:01:12.569
We can make anything happen.

0:01:12.593,0:01:15.371
I agree with what was described[br]a few days ago,

0:01:15.395,0:01:17.722
that people work in their self-interest.

0:01:17.746,0:01:20.364
But we know that that's bullshit at times.

0:01:20.388,0:01:22.752
You don't work in your self-interest[br]all the time,

0:01:22.776,0:01:24.643
because when emotion comes into it,

0:01:24.667,0:01:26.710
the wiring changes[br]in the way it functions.

0:01:26.734,0:01:30.685
So it's wonderful to think intellectually[br]about how the life of the world is,

0:01:30.709,0:01:33.868
especially those who are very smart[br]can play this game in our head.

0:01:33.892,0:01:35.994
But I really want to know[br]what's driving you.

0:01:36.018,0:01:37.876
What I would like to invite you to do

0:01:37.900,0:01:41.406
by the end of this talk is explore[br]where you are today, for two reasons.

0:01:41.430,0:01:43.311
One: so that you can contribute more.

0:01:43.335,0:01:46.605
And two: that hopefully we can not just[br]understand other people more,

0:01:46.629,0:01:49.519
but appreciate them more,[br]and create the kinds of connections

0:01:49.543,0:01:52.466
that can stop some of the challenges[br]that we face today.

0:01:52.490,0:01:56.235
They're only going to get magnified[br]by the very technology that connects us,

0:01:56.259,0:01:58.045
because it's making us intersect.

0:01:58.069,0:02:00.295
That intersection[br]doesn't always create a view

0:02:00.319,0:02:02.505
of "everybody now understands everybody,

0:02:02.529,0:02:04.893
and everybody appreciates everybody."

0:02:04.917,0:02:07.508
I've had an obsession[br]basically for 30 years,

0:02:07.532,0:02:11.847
"What makes the difference[br]in the quality of people's lives?

0:02:11.871,0:02:13.328
What in their performance?"

0:02:13.352,0:02:15.530
I got hired to produce the result now.

0:02:15.554,0:02:17.050
I've done it for 30 years.

0:02:17.074,0:02:18.621
I get the phone call

0:02:18.645,0:02:21.387
when the athlete is burning down[br]on national television,

0:02:21.411,0:02:23.097
and they were ahead by five strokes

0:02:23.121,0:02:25.121
and now they can't get back on the course.

0:02:25.145,0:02:27.831
I've got to do something right now[br]or nothing matters.

0:02:27.855,0:02:30.827
I get the phone call[br]when the child is going commit suicide,

0:02:30.851,0:02:32.298
I've got to do something.

0:02:32.322,0:02:35.976
In 29 years, I'm very grateful[br]to tell you I've never lost one.

0:02:36.000,0:02:38.504
It doesn't mean I won't some day,[br]but I haven't yet.

0:02:38.528,0:02:41.904
The reason is an understanding[br]of these human needs.

0:02:41.928,0:02:45.039
When I get those calls[br]about performance, that's one thing.

0:02:45.063,0:02:46.549
How do you make a change?

0:02:46.573,0:02:50.568
I'm also looking to see what is shaping[br]the person's ability to contribute,

0:02:50.592,0:02:54.102
to do something beyond themselves.

0:02:54.126,0:02:56.234
Maybe the real question is,

0:02:56.258,0:02:58.629
I look at life and say[br]there's two master lessons.

0:02:58.653,0:03:00.732
One is: there's the science[br]of achievement,

0:03:00.756,0:03:03.526
which almost everything that's run[br]is mastered amazingly.

0:03:03.550,0:03:06.045
"How do you take the invisible[br]and make it visible,"

0:03:06.069,0:03:07.786
How do you make your dreams happen?

0:03:07.810,0:03:10.397
Your business, your contribution[br]to society, money --

0:03:10.421,0:03:12.133
whatever, your body, your family.

0:03:12.157,0:03:15.660
The other lesson that is rarely[br]mastered is the art of fulfillment.

0:03:16.517,0:03:18.093
Because science is easy, right?

0:03:18.117,0:03:21.022
We know the rules, you write the code[br]and you get the results.

0:03:21.046,0:03:24.190
Once you know the game,[br]you just up the ante, don't you?

0:03:24.214,0:03:26.647
But when it comes to fulfillment[br]-- that's an art.

0:03:26.671,0:03:29.867
The reason is, it's about[br]appreciation and contribution.

0:03:29.891,0:03:31.976
You can only feel so much by yourself.

0:03:32.000,0:03:35.936
I've had an interesting laboratory[br]to try to answer the real question

0:03:35.960,0:03:37.516
how somebody's life changes

0:03:37.540,0:03:40.851
if you look at them like those people[br]that you've given everything to?

0:03:40.875,0:03:42.999
Like all the resources they say they need.

0:03:43.023,0:03:45.809
You gave not a 100-dollar computer,[br]but the best computer.

0:03:45.833,0:03:48.355
You gave them love, joy,[br]were there to comfort them.

0:03:48.379,0:03:50.975
Those people very often[br]-- you know some of them --

0:03:50.999,0:03:52.440
end up the rest of their life

0:03:52.464,0:03:54.889
with all this love, education,[br]money and background

0:03:54.913,0:03:56.297
going in and out of rehab.

0:03:57.000,0:03:59.976
Some people have been[br]through ultimate pain,

0:04:00.000,0:04:03.375
psychologically, sexually,[br]spiritually, emotionally abused --

0:04:03.399,0:04:05.055
and not always, but often,

0:04:05.079,0:04:08.283
they become some of the people[br]that contribute the most to society.

0:04:08.307,0:04:12.239
The question we've got to ask[br]ourselves really is, what is it?

0:04:12.263,0:04:13.606
What is it that shapes us?

0:04:13.630,0:04:15.241
We live in a therapy culture.

0:04:15.265,0:04:18.307
Most of us don't do that,[br]but the culture's a therapy culture,

0:04:18.331,0:04:20.320
the mindset that we are our past.

0:04:20.344,0:04:22.976
And you wouldn't be in this room[br]if you bought that,

0:04:23.000,0:04:26.178
but most of society[br]thinks biography is destiny.

0:04:26.202,0:04:27.845
The past equals the future.

0:04:27.869,0:04:29.584
Of course it does if you live there.

0:04:29.608,0:04:32.276
But what we know and what[br]we have to remind ourselves --

0:04:32.300,0:04:34.494
because you can know[br]something intellectually

0:04:34.518,0:04:36.366
and then not use it, not apply it.

0:04:36.920,0:04:40.628
We've got to remind ourselves[br]that decision is the ultimate power.

0:04:40.652,0:04:43.356
When you ask people,

0:04:43.380,0:04:47.253
have you failed to achieve[br]something significant in your life?

0:04:47.277,0:04:48.976
Say, "Aye." Audience: Aye.

0:04:49.000,0:04:51.976
TR: Thanks for the interaction[br]on a high level there.

0:04:52.000,0:04:54.976
But if you ask people,[br]why didn't you achieve something?

0:04:55.000,0:04:58.255
Somebody who's working for you,[br]or a partner, or even yourself.

0:04:58.279,0:05:01.375
When you fail to achieve,[br]what's the reason people say?

0:05:01.399,0:05:02.542
What do they tell you?

0:05:02.566,0:05:03.976
Didn't have the...

0:05:04.000,0:05:06.875
Didn't have the knowledge,[br]didn't have the money,

0:05:06.899,0:05:11.136
didn't have the time,[br]didn't have the technology.

0:05:11.160,0:05:12.994
I didn't have the right manager.

0:05:13.018,0:05:15.707
Al Gore: Supreme Court.[br]TR: The Supreme Court.

0:05:15.731,0:05:17.961
(Laughter)

0:05:17.985,0:05:20.533
(Applause) (Cheering)

0:05:30.000,0:05:31.976
(Applause continues)

0:05:32.000,0:05:33.055
TR: And...

0:05:33.079,0:05:35.977
(Applause)

0:05:36.001,0:05:39.097
What do all those, including[br]the Supreme Court, have in common?

0:05:39.121,0:05:40.495
(Laughter)

0:05:40.519,0:05:45.319
They are a claim to you missing[br]resources, and they may be accurate.

0:05:45.343,0:05:47.976
You may not have the money,[br]or the Supreme Court,

0:05:48.000,0:05:49.976
but that is not the defining factor.

0:05:50.000,0:05:55.957
(Applause) (Laughter)

0:05:56.000,0:05:57.524
And you correct me if I'm wrong.

0:05:58.714,0:06:01.976
The defining factor is never resources;[br]it's resourcefulness.

0:06:02.000,0:06:04.804
And what I mean specifically,[br]rather than just some phrase,

0:06:04.828,0:06:08.040
is if you have emotion, human emotion,

0:06:08.064,0:06:12.093
something that I experienced from you[br]the day before yesterday

0:06:12.117,0:06:14.708
at a level that is as profound[br]as I've ever experienced

0:06:14.732,0:06:17.970
and I believe with that emotion[br]you would have beat his ass and won.

0:06:17.994,0:06:19.051
Audience: Yeah!

0:06:19.075,0:06:23.742
(Applause) (Cheering)

0:06:23.766,0:06:25.976
How easy for me to tell him[br]what he should do.

0:06:26.000,0:06:27.976
(Laughter)

0:06:28.000,0:06:30.887
Idiot, Robbins.

0:06:30.911,0:06:36.167
But I know when we watched[br]the debate at that time,

0:06:36.191,0:06:38.478
there were emotions[br]that blocked people's ability

0:06:38.502,0:06:40.479
to get this man's intellect and capacity.

0:06:40.503,0:06:43.399
And the way that it came across[br]to some people on that day --

0:06:43.423,0:06:46.798
because I know people that wanted[br]to vote in your direction and didn't,

0:06:46.822,0:06:48.165
and I was upset.

0:06:48.189,0:06:49.628
But there was emotion there.

0:06:49.652,0:06:51.357
Do you know what I'm talking about?

0:06:51.381,0:06:52.715
Say, "Aye." Audience: Aye.

0:06:52.739,0:06:53.879
So, emotion is it.

0:06:53.903,0:06:57.653
And if we get the right emotion,[br]we can get ourselves to do anything.

0:06:57.677,0:06:59.597
If you're creative, playful, fun enough,

0:06:59.621,0:07:01.691
can you get through to anybody, yes or no?

0:07:01.715,0:07:03.159
If you don't have the money,

0:07:03.183,0:07:05.712
but you're creative and determined,[br]you find the way.

0:07:05.736,0:07:07.219
This is the ultimate resource.

0:07:07.243,0:07:09.476
But this is not the story[br]that people tell us.

0:07:09.500,0:07:11.576
They tell us a bunch of different stories.

0:07:11.600,0:07:14.309
They tell us we don't have[br]the resources, but ultimately,

0:07:14.333,0:07:15.897
if you take a look here,

0:07:15.921,0:07:19.263
they say, what are all the reasons[br]they haven't accomplished that?

0:07:19.287,0:07:21.548
He's broken my pattern,[br]that son-of-a-bitch.

0:07:21.572,0:07:24.899
(Laughter)

0:07:24.923,0:07:27.277
But I appreciated the energy,[br]I'll tell you that.

0:07:27.301,0:07:28.378
(Laughter)

0:07:28.402,0:07:29.919
What determines your resources?

0:07:29.943,0:07:33.080
We've said decisions shape destiny,[br]which is my focus here.

0:07:33.104,0:07:36.200
If decisions shape destiny,[br]what determines it is three decisions.

0:07:36.224,0:07:37.377
What will you focus on?

0:07:37.401,0:07:39.852
You have to decide[br]what you're going to focus on.

0:07:39.876,0:07:41.337
Consciously or unconsciously.

0:07:41.361,0:07:44.272
the minute you decide to focus,[br]you must give it a meaning,

0:07:44.296,0:07:46.185
and that meaning produces emotion.

0:07:46.209,0:07:48.035
Is this the end or the beginning?

0:07:48.059,0:07:51.958
Is God punishing me or rewarding me,[br]or is this the roll of the dice?

0:07:51.982,0:07:54.976
An emotion creates[br]what we're going to do, or the action.

0:07:55.000,0:07:56.976
So, think about your own life,

0:07:57.000,0:07:59.048
the decisions that[br]have shaped your destiny.

0:07:59.072,0:08:02.058
And that sounds really heavy,[br]but in the last five or 10 years,

0:08:02.082,0:08:03.629
have there been some decisions

0:08:03.653,0:08:07.490
that if you'd made a different decision,[br]your life would be completely different?

0:08:07.514,0:08:10.208
How many can think about it?[br]Better or worse. Say, "Aye."

0:08:10.232,0:08:11.264
Audience: Aye.

0:08:11.288,0:08:13.952
So the bottom line is,[br]maybe it was where to go to work,

0:08:13.976,0:08:16.829
and you met the love of your life there,[br]a career decision.

0:08:16.853,0:08:18.819
I know the Google geniuses I saw here --

0:08:18.843,0:08:22.231
I mean, I understand that their decision[br]was to sell their technology.

0:08:22.255,0:08:25.396
What if they made that decision[br]versus to build their own culture?

0:08:25.420,0:08:28.349
How would the world or their lives[br]be different, their impact?

0:08:28.373,0:08:30.490
The history of our world[br]is these decisions.

0:08:30.514,0:08:34.076
When a woman stands up and says,[br]"No, I won't go to the back of the bus."

0:08:34.100,0:08:37.619
She didn't just affect her life.[br]That decision shaped our culture.

0:08:37.643,0:08:40.162
Or someone standing in front of a tank.

0:08:40.186,0:08:42.976
Or being in a position[br]like Lance Armstrong,

0:08:43.000,0:08:44.544
"You've got testicular cancer."

0:08:44.568,0:08:47.607
That's pretty tough for any male,[br]especially if you ride a bike.

0:08:47.631,0:08:48.976
(Laughter)

0:08:49.000,0:08:51.709
You've got it in your brain;[br]you've got it in your lungs.

0:08:51.733,0:08:53.925
But what was his decision[br]of what to focus on?

0:08:53.949,0:08:56.088
Different than most people.[br]What did it mean?

0:08:56.112,0:08:58.063
It wasn't the end; it was the beginning.

0:08:58.087,0:09:00.878
He goes off and wins[br]seven championships he never once won

0:09:00.902,0:09:04.784
before the cancer, because he got[br]emotional fitness, psychological strength.

0:09:04.808,0:09:07.299
That's the difference[br]in human beings that I've seen

0:09:07.323,0:09:09.182
of the three million I've been around.

0:09:09.206,0:09:14.991
In my lab, I've had three million people[br]from 80 countries over the last 29 years.

0:09:15.015,0:09:17.479
And after a while,[br]patterns become obvious.

0:09:17.503,0:09:21.502
You see that South America and Africa[br]may be connected in a certain way, right?

0:09:21.526,0:09:24.144
Others say, "Oh, that sounds[br]ridiculous." It's simple.

0:09:24.168,0:09:26.452
So, what shaped Lance? What shapes you?

0:09:26.476,0:09:30.798
Two invisible forces.[br]Very quickly. One: state.

0:09:30.822,0:09:31.976
We all have had times,

0:09:32.000,0:09:34.793
you did something, and after,[br]you thought to yourself,

0:09:34.817,0:09:37.976
"I can't believe I said or did that,[br]that was so stupid."

0:09:38.000,0:09:40.095
Who's been there? Say, "Aye."[br]Audience: Aye.

0:09:40.119,0:09:42.515
Or after you did something,[br]you go, "That was me!"

0:09:42.539,0:09:43.976
(Laughter)

0:09:44.000,0:09:46.834
It wasn't your ability; it was your state.

0:09:46.858,0:09:49.778
Your model of the world[br]is what shapes you long term.

0:09:49.802,0:09:53.334
Your model of the world is the filter.[br]That's what's shaping us.

0:09:53.358,0:09:54.958
It makes people make decisions.

0:09:54.982,0:09:58.238
To influence somebody, we need to know[br]what already influences them.

0:09:58.262,0:10:00.071
It's made up of three parts.

0:10:00.095,0:10:02.434
First, what's your target?[br]What are you after?

0:10:02.458,0:10:03.976
It's not your desires.

0:10:04.000,0:10:05.635
You can get your desires or goals.

0:10:05.659,0:10:08.873
Who has ever got a goal or desire[br]and thought, is this all there is?

0:10:08.897,0:10:10.150
Say, "Aye." Audience: Aye.

0:10:10.174,0:10:13.042
It's needs we have. I believe[br]there are six human needs.

0:10:13.066,0:10:15.976
Second, once you know what the target[br]that's driving you is

0:10:16.000,0:10:18.976
and you uncover it for the truth --[br]you don't form it --

0:10:19.000,0:10:20.735
then you find out what's your map,

0:10:20.759,0:10:23.820
what's the belief systems[br]that tell you how to get those needs.

0:10:23.844,0:10:26.795
Some people think the way[br]to get them is to destroy the world,

0:10:26.819,0:10:29.369
some people, to build,[br]create something, love someone.

0:10:29.393,0:10:31.976
There's the fuel you pick.[br]So very quickly, six needs.

0:10:32.000,0:10:34.471
Let me tell you what they are.[br]First one: certainty.

0:10:34.495,0:10:36.958
These are not goals or desires,[br]these are universal.

0:10:36.982,0:10:39.082
Everyone needs certainty[br]they can avoid pain

0:10:39.106,0:10:40.523
and at least be comfortable.

0:10:40.547,0:10:41.801
Now, how do you get it?

0:10:41.825,0:10:44.910
Control everybody? Develop a skill?[br]Give up? Smoke a cigarette?

0:10:44.934,0:10:46.976
And if you got totally[br]certain, ironically,

0:10:47.000,0:10:48.286
even though we need that --

0:10:48.310,0:10:51.503
you're not certain about your health,[br]or your children, or money.

0:10:51.527,0:10:53.742
If you're not sure[br]the ceiling will hold up,

0:10:53.766,0:10:55.385
you won't listen to any speaker.

0:10:55.409,0:10:59.158
While we go for certainty differently,[br]if we get total certainty, we get what?

0:10:59.182,0:11:00.876
What do you feel if you're certain?

0:11:00.900,0:11:03.553
You know what will happen,[br]when and how it will happen,

0:11:03.577,0:11:04.676
what would you feel?

0:11:04.700,0:11:07.376
Bored out of your minds.[br]So, God, in Her infinite wisdom,

0:11:07.400,0:11:09.976
gave us a second human need,[br]which is uncertainty.

0:11:10.000,0:11:12.976
We need variety. We need surprise.

0:11:13.000,0:11:15.296
How many of you here[br]love surprises? Say, "Aye."

0:11:15.320,0:11:16.401
Audience: Aye.

0:11:16.425,0:11:19.036
TR: Bullshit. You like[br]the surprises you want.

0:11:19.060,0:11:22.404
The ones you don't want,[br]you call problems, but you need them.

0:11:22.428,0:11:24.207
So, variety is important.

0:11:24.231,0:11:27.343
Have you ever rented a video[br]or a film that you've already seen?

0:11:27.367,0:11:29.176
Who's done this? Get a fucking life.

0:11:29.200,0:11:30.976
(Laughter)

0:11:31.000,0:11:32.610
Why are you doing it?

0:11:32.634,0:11:35.417
You're certain it's good[br]because you read or saw it before,

0:11:35.441,0:11:38.135
but you're hoping it's been[br]long enough you've forgotten,

0:11:38.159,0:11:39.176
and there's variety.

0:11:39.200,0:11:41.236
Third human need, critical: significance.

0:11:41.260,0:11:43.535
We all need to feel important,[br]special, unique.

0:11:43.559,0:11:46.426
You can get it by making more money[br]or being more spiritual.

0:11:46.450,0:11:49.366
You can do it by getting yourself[br]in a situation where you put

0:11:49.390,0:11:52.376
more tattoos and earrings in places[br]humans don't want to know.

0:11:52.400,0:11:53.465
Whatever it takes.

0:11:53.489,0:11:54.776
The fastest way to do this,

0:11:54.800,0:11:57.776
if you have no background,[br]no culture, no belief and resources

0:11:57.800,0:11:59.439
or resourcefulness, is violence.

0:11:59.463,0:12:03.223
If I put a gun to your head and I live[br]in the 'hood, instantly I'm significant.

0:12:03.247,0:12:04.708
Zero to 10. How high? 10.

0:12:04.732,0:12:07.818
How certain am I that[br]you're going to respond to me? 10.

0:12:07.842,0:12:08.958
How much uncertainty?

0:12:08.982,0:12:11.676
Who knows what's going to happen next?[br]Kind of exciting.

0:12:11.700,0:12:14.076
Like climbing up into a cave[br]and doing that stuff

0:12:14.100,0:12:15.380
all the way down there.

0:12:15.404,0:12:16.866
Total variety and uncertainty.

0:12:16.890,0:12:20.276
And it's significant, isn't it?[br]So you want to risk your life for it.

0:12:20.300,0:12:23.376
So that's why violence has always[br]been around and will be around

0:12:23.400,0:12:25.857
unless we have a consciousness[br]change as a species.

0:12:25.881,0:12:27.876
You can get significance a million ways,

0:12:27.900,0:12:30.799
but to be significant, you've got[br]to be unique and different.

0:12:30.823,0:12:33.805
Here's what we really need:[br]connection and love, fourth need.

0:12:33.829,0:12:34.876
We all want it;

0:12:34.900,0:12:37.079
most settle for connection,[br]love's too scary.

0:12:37.103,0:12:39.580
Who here has been hurt[br]in an intimate relationship?

0:12:39.604,0:12:42.436
If you don't raise your hand,[br]you've had other shit, too.

0:12:42.460,0:12:44.183
And you're going to get hurt again.

0:12:44.207,0:12:46.467
Aren't you glad you came[br]to this positive visit?

0:12:46.491,0:12:48.011
Here's what's true: we need it.

0:12:48.035,0:12:51.411
We can do it through[br]intimacy, friendship, prayer,

0:12:51.435,0:12:52.782
through walking in nature.

0:12:52.806,0:12:55.638
If nothing else works for you,[br]don't get a cat, get a dog,

0:12:55.662,0:12:59.257
because if you leave for two minutes,[br]it's like you've been gone six months,

0:12:59.281,0:13:00.967
when you come back 5 minutes later.

0:13:01.011,0:13:03.666
These first four needs,[br]every human finds a way to meet.

0:13:03.690,0:13:06.900
Even if you lie to yourself,[br]you need to have split personalities.

0:13:06.924,0:13:11.463
I call the first four needs[br]the needs of the personality.

0:13:11.487,0:13:14.221
The last two are the needs of the spirit.

0:13:14.245,0:13:16.012
And this is where fulfillment comes.

0:13:16.036,0:13:17.831
You won't get it from the first four.

0:13:17.855,0:13:21.141
You'll figure a way, smoke, drink,[br]do whatever, meet the first four.

0:13:21.165,0:13:22.741
But number five, you must grow.

0:13:22.765,0:13:23.894
We all know the answer.

0:13:23.918,0:13:25.441
If you don't grow, you're what?

0:13:25.465,0:13:27.574
If a relationship or business[br]is not growing,

0:13:27.598,0:13:28.735
if you're not growing,

0:13:28.759,0:13:31.162
doesn't matter how much[br]money or friends you have,

0:13:31.186,0:13:32.362
how many love you,

0:13:32.386,0:13:33.629
you feel like hell.

0:13:33.653,0:13:35.244
And I believe the reason we grow

0:13:35.268,0:13:37.228
is so we have something to give of value.

0:13:37.252,0:13:39.963
Because the sixth need[br]is to contribute beyond ourselves.

0:13:39.987,0:13:42.064
Because we all know, corny as that sounds,

0:13:42.088,0:13:43.674
the secret to living is giving.

0:13:43.698,0:13:45.982
We all know life is not about me,[br]it's about we.

0:13:46.006,0:13:48.245
This culture knows that,[br]this room knows that.

0:13:48.269,0:13:49.346
It's exciting.

0:13:49.370,0:13:51.964
When you see Nicholas[br]talking about his $100 computer,

0:13:51.988,0:13:53.327
the most exciting thing is:

0:13:53.351,0:13:55.766
here's a genius,[br]but he's got a calling now.

0:13:55.790,0:13:58.662
You can feel the difference in him,[br]and it's beautiful.

0:13:58.686,0:14:00.629
And that calling can touch other people.

0:14:00.653,0:14:03.530
My life was touched[br]because when I was 11 years old,

0:14:03.554,0:14:05.541
Thanksgiving, no money, no food,

0:14:05.565,0:14:06.976
we were not going to starve,

0:14:07.000,0:14:08.715
but my father was totally messed up,

0:14:08.739,0:14:11.070
my mom was letting him know[br]how bad he messed up,

0:14:11.094,0:14:13.449
and somebody came to the door[br]and delivered food.

0:14:13.473,0:14:16.533
My father made three decisions,[br]I know what they were, briefly.

0:14:16.557,0:14:18.382
His focus was "This is charity.

0:14:18.406,0:14:20.072
What does it mean? I'm worthless.

0:14:20.096,0:14:22.721
What do I have to do?[br]Leave my family," which he did.

0:14:22.745,0:14:25.227
It was one of the most painful[br]experiences of life.

0:14:25.251,0:14:27.420
My three decisions[br]gave me a different path.

0:14:27.796,0:14:31.118
I set focus on "There's food."[br]What a concept!

0:14:31.142,0:14:32.219
(Laughter)

0:14:32.243,0:14:35.438
But this is what changed my life,[br]shaped me as a human being.

0:14:35.462,0:14:37.655
Somebody's gift,[br]I don't even know who it is.

0:14:37.679,0:14:39.939
My father always said,[br]"No one gives a shit."

0:14:40.825,0:14:42.299
And now somebody I don't know,

0:14:42.323,0:14:44.857
they're not asking for anything,[br]just giving us food,

0:14:44.881,0:14:46.058
looking out for us.

0:14:46.082,0:14:48.721
It made me believe this:[br]that strangers care.

0:14:49.627,0:14:50.859
And that made me decide,

0:14:50.883,0:14:53.950
if strangers care about me and my family,[br]I care about them.

0:14:53.974,0:14:56.190
I'm going to do something[br]to make a difference.

0:14:56.214,0:14:58.311
So when I was 17,[br]I went out on Thanksgiving,

0:14:58.335,0:15:01.588
it was my target for years to have[br]enough money to feed two families.

0:15:01.612,0:15:04.077
The most fun and moving thing[br]I ever did in my life.

0:15:04.101,0:15:05.784
Next year, I did four, then eight.

0:15:05.808,0:15:09.543
I didn't tell anybody what I was doing,[br]I wasn't doing it for brownie points.

0:15:09.567,0:15:11.953
But after eight,[br]I thought I could use some help.

0:15:11.977,0:15:14.405
So I went out, got my friends involved,

0:15:14.429,0:15:17.606
then I grew companies, got 11,[br]and I built the foundation.

0:15:17.630,0:15:18.824
18 years later,

0:15:18.848,0:15:22.294
I'm proud to tell you last year we fed[br]2 million people in 35 countries

0:15:22.318,0:15:23.502
through our foundation.

0:15:23.526,0:15:25.859
All during the holidays,[br]Thanksgiving, Christmas,

0:15:25.883,0:15:27.886
in different countries around the world.

0:15:27.910,0:15:29.011
(Applause)

0:15:29.035,0:15:30.181
Thank you.

0:15:30.205,0:15:33.777
I don't tell you that to brag,[br]but because I'm proud of human beings

0:15:33.801,0:15:35.708
because they get excited to contribute

0:15:35.732,0:15:38.841
once they've had the chance[br]to experience it, not talk about it.

0:15:38.865,0:15:40.656
So, finally -- I'm about out of time.

0:15:40.680,0:15:43.539
The target that shapes you --

0:15:43.563,0:15:45.422
Here's what's different about people.

0:15:45.446,0:15:46.631
We have the same needs.

0:15:46.655,0:15:49.522
But are you a certainty freak,[br]is that what you value most,

0:15:49.546,0:15:50.723
or uncertainty?

0:15:50.747,0:15:54.288
This man couldn't be a certainty freak[br]if he climbed through those caves.

0:15:54.312,0:15:56.193
Are you driven by significance or love?

0:15:56.217,0:15:57.493
We all need all six,

0:15:57.517,0:16:00.601
but what your lead system is[br]tilts you in a different direction.

0:16:00.625,0:16:03.761
And as you move in a direction,[br]you have a destination or destiny.

0:16:03.785,0:16:05.210
The second piece is the map.

0:16:05.234,0:16:07.510
The operating system[br]tells you how to get there,

0:16:07.534,0:16:08.815
and some people's map is,

0:16:08.839,0:16:11.610
"I'm going to save lives[br]even if I die for other people,"

0:16:11.634,0:16:12.810
and they're a fireman,

0:16:12.834,0:16:15.750
and somebody else says,[br]"I'm going to kill people to do it."

0:16:15.774,0:16:18.352
They're trying to meet[br]the same needs of significance.

0:16:18.376,0:16:20.569
They want to honor God[br]or honor their family.

0:16:20.593,0:16:22.115
But they have a different map.

0:16:22.139,0:16:26.018
And there are seven different beliefs;[br]I can't go through them, because I'm done.

0:16:26.042,0:16:27.371
The last piece is emotion.

0:16:27.395,0:16:29.396
One of the parts of the map is like time.

0:16:29.420,0:16:31.709
Some people's idea[br]of a long time is 100 years.

0:16:31.733,0:16:34.408
Somebody else's is three seconds,[br]which is what I have.

0:16:34.432,0:16:37.203
And the last one I've already mentioned[br]that fell to you.

0:16:37.227,0:16:38.950
If you've got a target and a map --

0:16:38.974,0:16:40.907
I can't use Google because I love Macs,

0:16:40.931,0:16:43.027
and they haven't made it[br]good for Macs yet.

0:16:43.051,0:16:44.332
So if you use MapQuest --

0:16:44.356,0:16:46.771
how many have made[br]this fatal mistake of using it?

0:16:46.795,0:16:48.891
You use this thing[br]and you don't get there.

0:16:48.915,0:16:52.551
Imagine if your beliefs guarantee[br]you can never get to where you want to go.

0:16:52.575,0:16:53.652
(Laughter)

0:16:53.676,0:16:55.010
The last thing is emotion.

0:16:55.034,0:16:57.038
Here's what I'll tell you about emotion.

0:16:57.062,0:16:58.537
There are 6,000 emotions

0:16:58.561,0:17:00.850
that we have words for[br]in the English language,

0:17:00.874,0:17:04.030
which is just a linguistic representation[br]that changes by language.

0:17:04.054,0:17:06.354
But if your dominant emotions --

0:17:06.378,0:17:09.105
If I have 20,000 people or 1,000

0:17:09.129,0:17:12.181
and I have them write down[br]all the emotions that they experience

0:17:12.205,0:17:13.206
in an average week,

0:17:13.230,0:17:15.160
and I give them as long as they need,

0:17:15.184,0:17:17.473
and on one side[br]they write empowering emotions,

0:17:17.497,0:17:18.812
the other's disempowering,

0:17:18.836,0:17:21.363
guess how many emotions[br]they experience? Less than 12.

0:17:21.387,0:17:23.483
And half of those[br]make them feel like shit.

0:17:23.507,0:17:24.932
They have six good feelings.

0:17:24.956,0:17:26.596
Happy, happy, excited, oh shit,

0:17:26.620,0:17:28.863
frustrated, frustrated,[br]overwhelmed, depressed.

0:17:28.887,0:17:30.360
How many of you know somebody

0:17:30.384,0:17:33.155
who, no matter what happens,[br]finds a way to get pissed off?

0:17:33.179,0:17:34.359
(Laughter)

0:17:34.383,0:17:38.724
Or no matter what happens,[br]they find a way to be happy or excited.

0:17:38.748,0:17:40.752
How many of you know somebody like this?

0:17:40.776,0:17:43.722
When 9/11 happened, I'll finish with this,[br]I was in Hawaii.

0:17:44.040,0:17:46.409
I was with 2,000 people from 45 countries,

0:17:46.433,0:17:48.819
we were translating[br]four languages simultaneously

0:17:48.843,0:17:50.963
for a program I was conducting,[br]for a week.

0:17:51.275,0:17:53.516
The night before was called[br]Emotional Mastery.

0:17:53.540,0:17:55.925
I got up, had no plan[br]for this, and I said --

0:17:55.949,0:17:59.047
we had fireworks,[br]I do crazy shit, fun stuff,

0:17:59.071,0:18:00.352
and at the end, I stopped.

0:18:00.376,0:18:03.099
I had this plan, but I never know[br]what I'm going to say.

0:18:03.123,0:18:04.548
And all of a sudden, I said,

0:18:04.572,0:18:07.620
"When do people really start to live?[br]When they face death."

0:18:07.644,0:18:09.352
And I went through this whole thing

0:18:09.376,0:18:11.858
about, if you weren't going[br]to get off this island,

0:18:11.882,0:18:14.075
if nine days from now,[br]you were going to die,

0:18:14.099,0:18:16.918
who would you call,[br]what would you say, what would you do?

0:18:16.942,0:18:18.610
That night is when 9/11 happened.

0:18:18.634,0:18:21.500
One woman had come to the seminar,[br]and when she came there,

0:18:21.524,0:18:24.199
her previous boyfriend had been[br]kidnapped and murdered.

0:18:24.223,0:18:26.898
Her new boyfriend wanted to marry her,[br]and she said no.

0:18:26.922,0:18:30.279
He said, "If you go to that Hawaii thing,[br]it's over with us."

0:18:30.303,0:18:31.539
She said, "It's over."

0:18:31.563,0:18:34.528
When I finished that night,[br]she called him and left a message

0:18:34.552,0:18:37.516
at the top of the World Trade Center[br]where he worked, saying,

0:18:37.540,0:18:40.069
"I love you, I want you to know[br]I want to marry you.

0:18:40.093,0:18:41.497
It was stupid of me."

0:18:41.521,0:18:44.919
She was asleep, because it was 3 a.m.[br]for us, when he called her back,

0:18:44.943,0:18:47.823
and said, "Honey, I can't tell you[br]what this means.

0:18:47.847,0:18:51.196
I don't know how to tell you this,[br]but you gave me the greatest gift,

0:18:51.220,0:18:52.577
because I'm going to die."

0:18:53.164,0:18:55.502
And she played the recording[br]for us in the room.

0:18:55.526,0:18:56.951
She was on Larry King later.

0:18:56.975,0:18:58.931
And he said, "You're probably wondering

0:18:58.955,0:19:01.047
how on Earth this could[br]happen to you twice.

0:19:01.071,0:19:03.553
All I can say is this must be[br]God's message to you.

0:19:03.577,0:19:06.108
From now on, every day,[br]give your all, love your all.

0:19:06.132,0:19:08.111
Don't let anything ever stop you."

0:19:08.707,0:19:10.950
She finishes, and a man[br]stands up, and he says,

0:19:10.974,0:19:12.550
"I'm from Pakistan, I'm a Muslim.

0:19:12.574,0:19:14.767
I'd love to hold your hand[br]and say I'm sorry,

0:19:14.791,0:19:17.005
but frankly, this is retribution."

0:19:18.130,0:19:20.613
I can't tell you the rest,[br]because I'm out of time.

0:19:20.637,0:19:27.295
(Laughter)

0:19:27.319,0:19:28.495
Are you sure?

0:19:28.519,0:19:32.815
(Laughter)

0:19:32.839,0:19:34.015
10 seconds!

0:19:34.039,0:19:37.347
(Laughter and applause)

0:19:37.371,0:19:39.318
10 seconds, I want to be respectful.

0:19:39.342,0:19:40.478
All I can tell you is,

0:19:40.502,0:19:42.109
I brought this man on stage

0:19:42.133,0:19:45.074
with a man from New York who worked[br]in the World Trade Center,

0:19:45.098,0:19:47.098
because I had about 200 New Yorkers there.

0:19:47.122,0:19:49.557
More than 50 lost[br]their entire companies, friends,

0:19:49.581,0:19:51.103
marking off their Palm Pilots.

0:19:51.127,0:19:53.705
One financial trader,[br]woman made of steel, bawling --

0:19:53.729,0:19:55.554
30 friends crossing off that all died.

0:19:55.578,0:19:58.884
And I said, "What are we[br]going to focus on?

0:19:59.572,0:20:01.910
What does this mean[br]and what are we going to do?"

0:20:01.934,0:20:04.006
And I got the group to focus on:

0:20:04.030,0:20:05.746
if you didn't lose somebody today,

0:20:05.770,0:20:08.348
your focus is going to be[br]how to serve somebody else.

0:20:08.372,0:20:11.480
Then one woman stood up[br]and was so angry, screaming and yelling.

0:20:11.504,0:20:14.420
I found out she wasn't from New York,[br]she's not an American,

0:20:14.444,0:20:15.773
doesn't know anybody here.

0:20:15.797,0:20:17.559
I asked, "Do you always get angry?"

0:20:17.583,0:20:18.760
She said, "Yes."

0:20:18.784,0:20:20.976
Guilty people got guilty,[br]sad people got sad.

0:20:21.000,0:20:23.675
I took these two men[br]and I did an indirect negotiation.

0:20:23.699,0:20:26.084
Jewish man with family[br]in the occupied territory,

0:20:26.108,0:20:29.362
someone in New York who would have died[br]if he was at work that day,

0:20:29.386,0:20:31.486
and this man who wanted to be a terrorist,

0:20:31.510,0:20:32.790
and I made it very clear.

0:20:32.814,0:20:35.731
This integration is on a film,[br]which I'd be happy to send you,

0:20:35.755,0:20:37.181
instead of my verbalization,

0:20:37.205,0:20:39.305
but the two of them not only came together

0:20:39.329,0:20:41.763
and changed their beliefs[br]and models of the world,

0:20:41.787,0:20:44.509
but worked together to bring,[br]for almost four years now,

0:20:44.533,0:20:46.412
through various mosques and synagogues,

0:20:46.436,0:20:48.054
the idea of how to create peace.

0:20:48.078,0:20:50.741
And he wrote a book, called[br]"My Jihad, My Way of Peace."

0:20:50.765,0:20:52.288
So, transformation can happen.

0:20:52.312,0:20:53.536
My invitation to you is:

0:20:53.560,0:20:55.091
explore your web,

0:20:55.115,0:20:56.665
the web in here --

0:20:56.689,0:21:00.277
the needs, the beliefs, the emotions[br]that are controlling you,

0:21:00.301,0:21:01.478
for two reasons:

0:21:01.502,0:21:03.799
so there's more of you to give,[br]and achieve, too,

0:21:03.823,0:21:05.111
but I mean give,

0:21:05.135,0:21:07.188
because that's what's[br]going to fill you up.

0:21:07.212,0:21:09.040
And secondly, so you can appreciate --

0:21:09.064,0:21:11.883
not just understand,[br]that's intellectual, that's the mind,

0:21:11.907,0:21:14.005
but appreciate[br]what's driving other people.

0:21:14.029,0:21:16.270
It's the only way[br]our world's going to change.

0:21:16.294,0:21:18.872
God bless you, thank you.[br]I hope this was of service.

0:21:18.896,0:21:20.505
(Applause)