0:00:00.025,0:00:04.976
Okay, now I don't want[br]to alarm anybody in this room,

0:00:05.000,0:00:08.976
but it's just come to my attention[br]that the person to your right is a liar.

0:00:09.000,0:00:10.976
(Laughter)

0:00:11.000,0:00:13.976
Also, the person to your left is a liar.

0:00:14.000,0:00:16.976
Also the person sitting[br]in your very seats is a liar.

0:00:17.000,0:00:18.976
We're all liars.

0:00:19.000,0:00:20.976
What I'm going to do today

0:00:21.000,0:00:24.576
is I'm going to show you what the research[br]says about why we're all liars,

0:00:24.600,0:00:26.176
how you can become a liespotter

0:00:26.200,0:00:28.976
and why you might want[br]to go the extra mile

0:00:29.000,0:00:31.976
and go from liespotting to truth seeking,

0:00:32.000,0:00:33.976
and ultimately to trust building.

0:00:34.000,0:00:36.976
Now, speaking of trust,

0:00:37.000,0:00:39.976
ever since I wrote[br]this book, "Liespotting,"

0:00:40.000,0:00:42.976
no one wants to meet me in person[br]anymore, no, no, no, no, no.

0:00:43.000,0:00:45.976
They say, "It's okay, we'll email you."

0:00:46.000,0:00:47.976
(Laughter)

0:00:48.000,0:00:51.976
I can't even get[br]a coffee date at Starbucks.

0:00:52.000,0:00:53.976
My husband's like, "Honey, deception?

0:00:54.000,0:00:57.191
Maybe you could have focused on cooking.[br]How about French cooking?"

0:00:57.215,0:00:59.358
So before I get started,[br]what I'm going to do

0:00:59.382,0:01:01.976
is I'm going to clarify my goal for you,

0:01:02.000,0:01:03.976
which is not to teach a game of Gotcha.

0:01:04.000,0:01:05.976
Liespotters aren't those nitpicky kids,

0:01:06.000,0:01:09.334
those kids in the back of the room[br]that are shouting, "Gotcha! Gotcha!

0:01:09.358,0:01:11.976
Your eyebrow twitched.[br]You flared your nostril.

0:01:12.000,0:01:14.976
I watch that TV show 'Lie To Me.'[br]I know you're lying."

0:01:15.000,0:01:16.976
No, liespotters are armed

0:01:17.000,0:01:19.976
with scientific knowledge[br]of how to spot deception.

0:01:20.000,0:01:21.976
They use it to get to the truth,

0:01:22.000,0:01:24.096
and they do what mature[br]leaders do everyday;

0:01:24.120,0:01:26.976
they have difficult conversations[br]with difficult people,

0:01:27.000,0:01:28.976
sometimes during very difficult times.

0:01:29.000,0:01:32.976
And they start up that path[br]by accepting a core proposition,

0:01:33.000,0:01:34.976
and that proposition is the following:

0:01:35.000,0:01:37.468
Lying is a cooperative act.

0:01:38.777,0:01:41.976
Think about it, a lie has no power[br]whatsoever by its mere utterance.

0:01:42.000,0:01:43.976
Its power emerges

0:01:44.000,0:01:46.096
when someone else agrees[br]to believe the lie.

0:01:46.120,0:01:48.096
So I know it may sound like tough love,

0:01:48.120,0:01:51.976
but look, if at some point[br]you got lied to,

0:01:52.000,0:01:53.976
it's because you agreed to get lied to.

0:01:54.000,0:01:56.976
Truth number one about lying:[br]Lying's a cooperative act.

0:01:57.000,0:01:58.976
Now not all lies are harmful.

0:01:59.000,0:02:01.976
Sometimes we're willing[br]participants in deception

0:02:02.000,0:02:04.976
for the sake of social dignity,

0:02:05.000,0:02:07.976
maybe to keep a secret that should[br]be kept secret, secret.

0:02:08.000,0:02:09.976
We say, "Nice song."

0:02:10.000,0:02:12.976
"Honey, you don't look fat in that, no."

0:02:13.000,0:02:14.976
Or we say, favorite of the digiratti,

0:02:15.000,0:02:17.976
"You know, I just fished[br]that email out of my Spam folder.

0:02:18.000,0:02:20.976
So sorry."

0:02:21.000,0:02:24.239
But there are times when we are unwilling[br]participants in deception.

0:02:24.263,0:02:26.976
And that can have dramatic costs for us.

0:02:27.000,0:02:29.976
Last year saw 997 billion dollars

0:02:30.000,0:02:33.579
in corporate fraud alone[br]in the United States.

0:02:34.333,0:02:36.348
That's an eyelash[br]under a trillion dollars.

0:02:36.372,0:02:37.976
That's seven percent of revenues.

0:02:38.000,0:02:39.976
Deception can cost billions.

0:02:40.000,0:02:42.976
Think Enron, Madoff, the mortgage crisis.

0:02:43.000,0:02:45.976
Or in the case[br]of double agents and traitors,

0:02:46.000,0:02:47.976
like Robert Hanssen or Aldrich Ames,

0:02:48.000,0:02:49.976
lies can betray our country,

0:02:50.000,0:02:53.000
they can compromise our security,[br]they can undermine democracy,

0:02:53.024,0:02:55.976
they can cause the deaths[br]of those that defend us.

0:02:56.000,0:02:58.976
Deception is actually serious business.

0:02:59.000,0:03:02.976
This con man, Henry Oberlander,[br]he was such an effective con man,

0:03:03.000,0:03:04.976
British authorities say

0:03:05.000,0:03:08.476
he could have undermined the entire[br]banking system of the Western world.

0:03:08.500,0:03:11.676
And you can't find this guy on Google;[br]you can't find him anywhere.

0:03:11.700,0:03:14.176
He was interviewed once,[br]and he said the following.

0:03:14.200,0:03:15.876
He said, "Look, I've got one rule."

0:03:15.900,0:03:17.976
And this was Henry's rule, he said,

0:03:18.000,0:03:20.376
"Look, everyone is willing[br]to give you something.

0:03:20.400,0:03:23.972
They're ready to give you something[br]for whatever it is they're hungry for."

0:03:23.996,0:03:25.376
And that's the crux of it.

0:03:25.400,0:03:27.829
If you don't want to be[br]deceived, you have to know,

0:03:27.853,0:03:29.529
what is it that you're hungry for?

0:03:29.553,0:03:31.976
And we all kind of hate to admit it.

0:03:32.000,0:03:34.976
We wish we were[br]better husbands, better wives,

0:03:35.000,0:03:38.976
smarter, more powerful, taller, richer --

0:03:39.000,0:03:40.976
the list goes on.

0:03:41.000,0:03:42.976
Lying is an attempt to bridge that gap,

0:03:43.000,0:03:44.976
to connect our wishes and our fantasies

0:03:45.000,0:03:47.976
about who we wish we were,[br]how we wish we could be,

0:03:48.000,0:03:50.976
with what we're really like.

0:03:51.000,0:03:54.239
And boy are we willing to fill in[br]those gaps in our lives with lies.

0:03:54.263,0:03:56.976
On a given day, studies show[br]that you may be lied to

0:03:57.000,0:03:58.976
anywhere from 10 to 200 times.

0:03:59.000,0:04:01.976
Now granted, many of those are white lies.

0:04:02.000,0:04:03.976
But in another study,

0:04:04.000,0:04:05.976
it showed that strangers lied three times

0:04:06.000,0:04:08.381
within the first 10 minutes[br]of meeting each other.

0:04:08.405,0:04:09.976
(Laughter)

0:04:10.000,0:04:12.976
Now when we first hear[br]this data, we recoil.

0:04:13.000,0:04:14.976
We can't believe how prevalent lying is.

0:04:15.000,0:04:16.976
We're essentially against lying.

0:04:17.000,0:04:20.976
But if you look more closely,[br]the plot actually thickens.

0:04:21.000,0:04:23.976
We lie more to strangers[br]than we lie to coworkers.

0:04:24.000,0:04:27.976
Extroverts lie more than introverts.

0:04:28.000,0:04:32.976
Men lie eight times more about themselves[br]than they do other people.

0:04:33.000,0:04:35.976
Women lie more to protect other people.

0:04:36.000,0:04:38.976
If you're an average married couple,

0:04:39.000,0:04:42.976
you're going to lie to your spouse[br]in one out of every 10 interactions.

0:04:43.000,0:04:44.976
Now, you may think that's bad.

0:04:45.000,0:04:47.286
If you're unmarried,[br]that number drops to three.

0:04:47.310,0:04:48.976
Lying's complex.

0:04:49.000,0:04:52.000
It's woven into the fabric[br]of our daily and our business lives.

0:04:52.024,0:04:53.976
We're deeply ambivalent about the truth.

0:04:54.000,0:04:55.976
We parse it out on an as-needed basis,

0:04:56.000,0:04:57.976
sometimes for very good reasons,

0:04:58.000,0:05:01.191
other times just because[br]we don't understand the gaps in our lives.

0:05:01.215,0:05:02.976
That's truth number two about lying.

0:05:03.000,0:05:04.976
We're against lying,

0:05:05.000,0:05:06.976
but we're covertly for it

0:05:07.000,0:05:11.000
in ways that our society has sanctioned[br]for centuries and centuries and centuries.

0:05:11.024,0:05:12.976
It's as old as breathing.

0:05:13.000,0:05:15.429
It's part of our culture,[br]it's part of our history.

0:05:15.453,0:05:20.976
Think Dante, Shakespeare,[br]the Bible, News of the World.

0:05:21.000,0:05:22.976
(Laughter)

0:05:23.000,0:05:25.286
Lying has evolutionary value[br]to us as a species.

0:05:25.310,0:05:28.976
Researchers have long known[br]that the more intelligent the species,

0:05:29.000,0:05:30.976
the larger the neocortex,

0:05:31.000,0:05:32.976
the more likely it is to be deceptive.

0:05:33.000,0:05:34.976
Now you might remember Koko.

0:05:35.000,0:05:38.239
Does anybody remember Koko the gorilla[br]who was taught sign language?

0:05:38.263,0:05:40.976
Koko was taught to communicate[br]via sign language.

0:05:41.000,0:05:42.976
Here's Koko with her kitten.

0:05:43.000,0:05:45.976
It's her cute little, fluffy pet kitten.

0:05:46.000,0:05:49.976
Koko once blamed her pet kitten[br]for ripping a sink out of the wall.

0:05:50.000,0:05:51.976
(Laughter)

0:05:52.000,0:05:54.191
We're hardwired to become[br]leaders of the pack.

0:05:54.215,0:05:55.976
It's starts really, really early.

0:05:56.000,0:05:57.976
How early?

0:05:58.000,0:05:59.976
Well babies will fake a cry,

0:06:00.000,0:06:01.976
pause, wait to see who's coming

0:06:02.000,0:06:03.976
and then go right back to crying.

0:06:04.000,0:06:05.976
One-year-olds learn concealment.

0:06:06.000,0:06:07.976
(Laughter)

0:06:08.000,0:06:09.976
Two-year-olds bluff.

0:06:10.000,0:06:11.976
Five-year-olds lie outright.

0:06:12.000,0:06:13.976
They manipulate via flattery.

0:06:14.000,0:06:16.976
Nine-year-olds, masters of the cover-up.

0:06:17.000,0:06:18.976
By the time you enter college,

0:06:19.000,0:06:22.376
you're going to lie to your mom[br]in one out of every five interactions.

0:06:22.400,0:06:25.276
By the time we enter this work world[br]and we're breadwinners,

0:06:25.300,0:06:28.976
we enter a world that is just cluttered[br]with Spam, fake digital friends,

0:06:29.000,0:06:30.976
partisan media,

0:06:31.000,0:06:32.976
ingenious identity thieves,

0:06:33.000,0:06:34.976
world-class Ponzi schemers,

0:06:35.000,0:06:36.976
a deception epidemic --

0:06:37.000,0:06:41.977
in short, what one author calls[br]a post-truth society.

0:06:42.001,0:06:45.966
It's been very confusing[br]for a long time now.

0:06:48.665,0:06:49.976
What do you do?

0:06:50.000,0:06:53.976
Well, there are steps we can take[br]to navigate our way through the morass.

0:06:54.000,0:06:56.976
Trained liespotters get to the truth[br]90 percent of the time.

0:06:57.000,0:06:59.976
The rest of us,[br]we're only 54 percent accurate.

0:07:00.000,0:07:01.976
Why is it so easy to learn?

0:07:02.000,0:07:04.215
There are good liars and bad liars.

0:07:04.239,0:07:05.876
There are no real original liars.

0:07:05.900,0:07:08.876
We all make the same mistakes.[br]We all use the same techniques.

0:07:08.900,0:07:12.529
So what I'm going to do is I'm going[br]to show you two patterns of deception.

0:07:12.553,0:07:14.752
And then we're going[br]to look at the hot spots

0:07:14.776,0:07:16.629
and see if we can find them ourselves.

0:07:16.653,0:07:18.276
We're going to start with speech.

0:07:18.300,0:07:20.634
(Video) Bill Clinton:[br]I want you to listen to me.

0:07:20.658,0:07:22.076
I'm going to say this again.

0:07:22.100,0:07:28.976
I did not have sexual relations[br]with that woman, Miss Lewinsky.

0:07:29.000,0:07:32.976
I never told anybody to lie,[br]not a single time, never.

0:07:33.000,0:07:35.976
And these allegations are false.

0:07:36.000,0:07:38.572
And I need to go back to work[br]for the American people.

0:07:38.596,0:07:40.572
Thank you.

0:07:40.596,0:07:42.108
(Applause)

0:07:43.000,0:07:45.976
Pamela Meyer: Okay,[br]what were the telltale signs?

0:07:46.000,0:07:49.976
Well first we heard what's known[br]as a non-contracted denial.

0:07:50.000,0:07:53.000
Studies show that people[br]who are overdetermined in their denial

0:07:53.024,0:07:55.976
will resort to formal rather[br]than informal language.

0:07:56.000,0:07:58.976
We also heard[br]distancing language: "that woman."

0:07:59.000,0:08:01.715
We know that liars will unconsciously[br]distance themselves

0:08:01.739,0:08:02.976
from their subject,

0:08:03.000,0:08:05.976
using language as their tool.

0:08:06.000,0:08:09.048
Now if Bill Clinton had said,[br]"Well, to tell you the truth..."

0:08:09.072,0:08:11.263
or Richard Nixon's favorite,[br]"In all candor..."

0:08:11.287,0:08:12.976
he would have been a dead giveaway

0:08:13.000,0:08:14.976
for any liespotter than knows

0:08:15.000,0:08:18.429
that qualifying language, as it's called,[br]qualifying language like that,

0:08:18.453,0:08:19.976
further discredits the subject.

0:08:20.000,0:08:22.976
Now if he had repeated[br]the question in its entirety,

0:08:23.000,0:08:26.976
or if he had peppered his account[br]with a little too much detail --

0:08:27.000,0:08:29.191
and we're all really glad[br]he didn't do that --

0:08:29.215,0:08:31.215
he would have further discredited himself.

0:08:31.239,0:08:32.976
Freud had it right.

0:08:33.000,0:08:35.976
Freud said, look,[br]there's much more to it than speech:

0:08:36.000,0:08:38.976
"No mortal can keep a secret.

0:08:39.000,0:08:41.976
If his lips are silent,[br]he chatters with his fingertips."

0:08:42.000,0:08:44.976
And we all do it no matter[br]how powerful you are.

0:08:45.000,0:08:46.976
We all chatter with our fingertips.

0:08:47.000,0:08:49.976
I'm going to show you[br]Dominique Strauss-Kahn with Obama

0:08:50.000,0:08:52.976
who's chattering with his fingertips.

0:08:53.000,0:08:55.976
(Laughter)

0:08:56.000,0:09:01.976
Now this brings us to our next pattern,[br]which is body language.

0:09:02.000,0:09:04.976
With body language,[br]here's what you've got to do.

0:09:05.000,0:09:07.976
You've really got to just throw[br]your assumptions out the door.

0:09:08.000,0:09:10.429
Let the science temper[br]your knowledge a little bit.

0:09:10.453,0:09:12.976
Because we think liars[br]fidget all the time.

0:09:13.000,0:09:16.762
Well guess what, they're known to freeze[br]their upper bodies when they're lying.

0:09:16.786,0:09:18.976
We think liars won't look you in the eyes.

0:09:19.000,0:09:21.876
Well guess what, they look[br]you in the eyes a little too much

0:09:21.900,0:09:23.476
just to compensate for that myth.

0:09:23.500,0:09:26.976
We think warmth and smiles[br]convey honesty, sincerity.

0:09:27.000,0:09:30.976
But a trained liespotter[br]can spot a fake smile a mile away.

0:09:31.000,0:09:34.000
Can you all spot the fake smile here?

0:09:35.000,0:09:39.976
You can consciously contract[br]the muscles in your cheeks.

0:09:40.000,0:09:42.976
But the real smile's in the eyes,[br]the crow's feet of the eyes.

0:09:43.000,0:09:44.976
They cannot be consciously contracted,

0:09:45.000,0:09:46.976
especially if you overdid the Botox.

0:09:47.000,0:09:49.976
Don't overdo the Botox;[br]nobody will think you're honest.

0:09:50.000,0:09:51.976
Now we're going to look at the hot spots.

0:09:52.000,0:09:54.286
Can you tell what's happening[br]in a conversation?

0:09:54.310,0:09:56.976
Can you start to find the hot spots

0:09:57.000,0:09:58.976
to see the discrepancies

0:09:59.000,0:10:01.191
between someone's words[br]and someone's actions?

0:10:01.215,0:10:02.976
Now, I know it seems really obvious,

0:10:03.000,0:10:07.976
but when you're having a conversation[br]with someone you suspect of deception,

0:10:08.000,0:10:11.076
attitude is by far the most overlooked[br]but telling of indicators.

0:10:11.100,0:10:13.296
An honest person[br]is going to be cooperative.

0:10:13.320,0:10:15.368
They're going to show[br]they're on your side.

0:10:15.392,0:10:16.976
They're going to be enthusiastic.

0:10:17.000,0:10:20.276
They're going to be willing and helpful[br]to getting you to the truth.

0:10:20.300,0:10:23.076
They're going to be willing[br]to brainstorm, name suspects,

0:10:23.100,0:10:24.376
provide details.

0:10:24.400,0:10:25.976
They're going to say,

0:10:26.000,0:10:29.176
"Hey, maybe it was those guys in payroll[br]that forged those checks."

0:10:29.200,0:10:32.476
They're going to be infuriated[br]if they sense they're wrongly accused

0:10:32.500,0:10:35.676
throughout the entire course[br]of the interview, not just in flashes;

0:10:35.700,0:10:38.939
they'll be infuriated throughout[br]the entire course of the interview.

0:10:38.963,0:10:40.376
And if you ask someone honest

0:10:40.400,0:10:42.976
what should happen[br]to whomever did forge those checks,

0:10:43.000,0:10:44.776
an honest person is much more likely

0:10:44.800,0:10:47.976
to recommend strict rather[br]than lenient punishment.

0:10:48.000,0:10:50.667
Now let's say you're having[br]that exact same conversation

0:10:50.691,0:10:51.976
with someone deceptive.

0:10:52.000,0:10:53.976
That person may be withdrawn,

0:10:54.000,0:10:55.976
look down, lower their voice,

0:10:56.000,0:10:57.976
pause, be kind of herky-jerky.

0:10:58.000,0:11:00.048
Ask a deceptive person[br]to tell their story,

0:11:00.072,0:11:02.976
they're going to pepper it[br]with way too much detail

0:11:03.000,0:11:05.976
in all kinds of irrelevant places.

0:11:06.000,0:11:09.476
And then they're going to tell their story[br]in strict chronological order.

0:11:09.500,0:11:11.276
And what a trained interrogator does

0:11:11.300,0:11:14.976
is they come in and in very subtle ways[br]over the course of several hours,

0:11:15.000,0:11:17.976
they will ask that person[br]to tell that story backwards,

0:11:18.000,0:11:19.976
and then they'll watch them squirm,

0:11:20.000,0:11:23.429
and track which questions produce[br]the highest volume of deceptive tells.

0:11:23.453,0:11:25.976
Why do they do that?[br]Well, we all do the same thing.

0:11:26.000,0:11:27.976
We rehearse our words,

0:11:28.000,0:11:29.976
but we rarely rehearse our gestures.

0:11:30.000,0:11:31.976
We say "yes," we shake our heads "no."

0:11:32.000,0:11:35.096
We tell very convincing stories,[br]we slightly shrug our shoulders.

0:11:35.120,0:11:36.976
We commit terrible crimes,

0:11:37.000,0:11:39.976
and we smile at the delight[br]in getting away with it.

0:11:40.000,0:11:42.976
Now, that smile is known[br]in the trade as "duping delight."

0:11:43.000,0:11:45.976
And we're going to see that[br]in several videos moving forward,

0:11:46.000,0:11:49.076
but we're going to start --[br]for those of you who don't know him,

0:11:49.100,0:11:51.176
this is presidential[br]candidate John Edwards

0:11:51.200,0:11:53.976
who shocked America by fathering[br]a child out of wedlock.

0:11:54.000,0:11:56.976
We're going to see him talk[br]about getting a paternity test.

0:11:57.000,0:12:01.000
See now if you can spot him[br]saying, "yes" while shaking his head "no,"

0:12:01.024,0:12:02.976
slightly shrugging his shoulders.

0:12:03.000,0:12:05.676
(Video) John Edwards: I'd be happy[br]to participate in one.

0:12:05.700,0:12:08.576
I know that it's not possible[br]that this child could be mine,

0:12:08.600,0:12:10.176
because of the timing of events.

0:12:10.200,0:12:11.976
So I know it's not possible.

0:12:12.000,0:12:15.976
Happy to take a paternity test,[br]and would love to see it happen.

0:12:16.000,0:12:19.048
Interviewer: Are you going to do[br]that soon? Is there somebody --

0:12:19.072,0:12:21.976
JE: Well, I'm only one side.[br]I'm only one side of the test.

0:12:22.000,0:12:24.604
But I'm happy to participate in one.

0:12:25.795,0:12:28.229
PM: Okay, those head shakes[br]are much easier to spot

0:12:28.253,0:12:29.776
once you know to look for them.

0:12:29.800,0:12:33.776
There're going to be times[br]when someone makes one expression

0:12:33.800,0:12:36.976
while masking another that just[br]kind of leaks through in a flash.

0:12:37.000,0:12:38.976
Murderers are known to leak sadness.

0:12:39.000,0:12:41.576
Your new joint venture partner[br]might shake your hand,

0:12:41.600,0:12:45.976
celebrate, go out to dinner with you[br]and then leak an expression of anger.

0:12:46.000,0:12:49.576
And we're not all going to become[br]facial expression experts overnight here,

0:12:49.600,0:12:52.078
but there's one I can teach you[br]that's very dangerous

0:12:52.102,0:12:53.315
and it's easy to learn,

0:12:53.339,0:12:55.176
and that's the expression of contempt.

0:12:55.200,0:12:58.200
Now with anger, you've got[br]two people on an even playing field.

0:12:58.224,0:13:00.415
It's still somewhat[br]of a healthy relationship.

0:13:00.439,0:13:03.976
But when anger turns to contempt,[br]you've been dismissed.

0:13:04.000,0:13:05.976
It's associated with moral superiority.

0:13:06.000,0:13:08.976
And for that reason, it's very,[br]very hard to recover from.

0:13:09.000,0:13:10.976
Here's what it looks like.

0:13:11.000,0:13:14.976
It's marked by one lip corner[br]pulled up and in.

0:13:15.000,0:13:17.976
It's the only asymmetrical expression.

0:13:18.000,0:13:21.976
And in the presence of contempt,[br]whether or not deception follows --

0:13:22.000,0:13:23.976
and it doesn't always follow --

0:13:24.000,0:13:26.048
look the other way,[br]go the other direction,

0:13:26.072,0:13:27.976
reconsider the deal,

0:13:28.000,0:13:31.976
say, "No thank you. I'm not coming up[br]for just one more nightcap. Thank you."

0:13:32.000,0:13:35.976
Science has surfaced[br]many, many more indicators.

0:13:36.000,0:13:37.976
We know, for example,

0:13:38.000,0:13:40.000
we know liars will shift their blink rate,

0:13:40.024,0:13:41.976
point their feet towards an exit.

0:13:42.000,0:13:43.976
They will take barrier objects

0:13:44.000,0:13:47.429
and put them between themselves[br]and the person that is interviewing them.

0:13:47.453,0:13:48.976
They'll alter their vocal tone,

0:13:49.000,0:13:51.976
often making their vocal tone much lower.

0:13:52.000,0:13:53.976
Now here's the deal.

0:13:54.000,0:13:56.976
These behaviors are just behaviors.

0:13:57.000,0:13:58.976
They're not proof of deception.

0:13:59.000,0:14:00.976
They're red flags.

0:14:01.000,0:14:02.976
We're human beings.

0:14:03.000,0:14:06.276
We make deceptive flailing gestures[br]all over the place all day long.

0:14:06.300,0:14:08.491
They don't mean anything[br]in and of themselves.

0:14:08.515,0:14:11.076
But when you see clusters[br]of them, that's your signal.

0:14:11.100,0:14:13.976
Look, listen, probe,[br]ask some hard questions,

0:14:14.000,0:14:16.976
get out of that very comfortable[br]mode of knowing,

0:14:17.000,0:14:19.976
walk into curiosity mode,[br]ask more questions,

0:14:20.000,0:14:23.376
have a little dignity, treat the person[br]you're talking to with rapport.

0:14:23.400,0:14:26.976
Don't try to be like those folks[br]on "Law & Order" and those other TV shows

0:14:27.000,0:14:29.048
that pummel their subjects[br]into submission.

0:14:29.072,0:14:31.076
Don't be too aggressive, it doesn't work.

0:14:32.119,0:14:35.476
Now, we've talked a little bit[br]about how to talk to someone who's lying

0:14:35.500,0:14:36.976
and how to spot a lie.

0:14:37.000,0:14:40.476
And as I promised, we're now going[br]to look at what the truth looks like.

0:14:40.500,0:14:42.276
But I'm going to show you two videos,

0:14:42.300,0:14:44.976
two mothers -- one is lying,[br]one is telling the truth.

0:14:45.000,0:14:49.096
And these were surfaced by researcher[br]David Matsumoto in California.

0:14:49.120,0:14:52.976
And I think they're an excellent example[br]of what the truth looks like.

0:14:53.000,0:14:54.976
This mother, Diane Downs,

0:14:55.000,0:14:56.976
shot her kids at close range,

0:14:57.000,0:15:00.976
drove them to the hospital[br]while they bled all over the car,

0:15:01.000,0:15:02.976
claimed a scraggy-haired stranger did it.

0:15:03.000,0:15:04.976
And you'll see when you see the video,

0:15:05.000,0:15:07.334
she can't even pretend[br]to be an agonizing mother.

0:15:07.358,0:15:10.976
What you want to look for here[br]is an incredible discrepancy

0:15:11.000,0:15:14.976
between horrific events that she describes[br]and her very, very cool demeanor.

0:15:15.000,0:15:18.476
And if you look closely, you'll see[br]duping delight throughout this video.

0:15:18.500,0:15:20.976
(Video) Diane Downs:[br]At night when I close my eyes,

0:15:21.000,0:15:24.096
I can see Christie reaching[br]her hand out to me while I'm driving,

0:15:24.120,0:15:26.376
and the blood just kept[br]coming out of her mouth.

0:15:26.400,0:15:28.543
And that -- maybe[br]it'll fade too with time --

0:15:28.567,0:15:29.976
but I don't think so.

0:15:30.000,0:15:33.000
That bothers me the most.

0:15:40.000,0:15:41.976
PM: Now I'm going to show you a video

0:15:42.000,0:15:44.048
of an actual grieving mother,[br]Erin Runnion,

0:15:44.072,0:15:47.976
confronting her daughter's murderer[br]and torturer in court.

0:15:48.000,0:15:50.000
Here you're going to see no false emotion,

0:15:50.024,0:15:52.976
just the authentic expression[br]of a mother's agony.

0:15:53.000,0:15:55.091
(Video) Erin Runnion:[br]I wrote this statement

0:15:55.115,0:15:57.776
on the third anniversary[br]of the night you took my baby,

0:15:57.800,0:15:59.076
and you hurt her,

0:15:59.100,0:16:00.976
and you crushed her,

0:16:01.000,0:16:04.976
you terrified her until her heart stopped.

0:16:05.000,0:16:07.976
And she fought, and I know she fought you.

0:16:08.000,0:16:11.976
But I know she looked at you[br]with those amazing brown eyes,

0:16:12.000,0:16:14.976
and you still wanted to kill her.

0:16:15.000,0:16:16.976
And I don't understand it,

0:16:17.000,0:16:18.547
and I never will.

0:16:20.650,0:16:23.976
PM: Okay, there's no doubting[br]the veracity of those emotions.

0:16:24.000,0:16:26.976
Now the technology[br]around what the truth looks like

0:16:27.000,0:16:29.976
is progressing on, the science of it.

0:16:30.000,0:16:31.976
We know, for example,

0:16:32.000,0:16:35.143
that we now have specialized eye trackers[br]and infrared brain scans,

0:16:35.167,0:16:37.976
MRI's that can decode the signals[br]that our bodies send out

0:16:38.000,0:16:39.976
when we're trying to be deceptive.

0:16:40.000,0:16:42.976
And these technologies are going[br]to be marketed to all of us

0:16:43.000,0:16:44.976
as panaceas for deceit,

0:16:45.000,0:16:47.976
and they will prove[br]incredibly useful some day.

0:16:48.000,0:16:50.239
But you've got to ask yourself[br]in the meantime:

0:16:50.263,0:16:52.359
Who do you want on your side[br]of the meeting,

0:16:52.383,0:16:54.976
someone who's trained[br]in getting to the truth

0:16:55.000,0:16:58.076
or some guy who's going to drag[br]a 400-pound electroencephalogram

0:16:58.100,0:16:59.376
through the door?

0:16:59.400,0:17:02.976
Liespotters rely on human tools.

0:17:03.000,0:17:04.976
They know, as someone once said,

0:17:05.000,0:17:06.976
"Character's who you are in the dark."

0:17:07.000,0:17:10.976
And what's kind of interesting[br]is that today, we have so little darkness.

0:17:11.000,0:17:13.976
Our world is lit up 24 hours a day.

0:17:14.000,0:17:17.976
It's transparent[br]with blogs and social networks

0:17:18.000,0:17:20.676
broadcasting the buzz[br]of a whole new generation of people

0:17:20.700,0:17:23.276
that have made a choice to live[br]their lives in public.

0:17:23.300,0:17:26.976
It's a much more noisy world.

0:17:27.000,0:17:30.976
So one challenge we have is to remember,

0:17:31.000,0:17:33.976
oversharing, that's not honesty.

0:17:34.000,0:17:37.976
Our manic tweeting and texting[br]can blind us

0:17:38.000,0:17:41.576
to the fact that the subtleties[br]of human decency -- character integrity --

0:17:41.600,0:17:44.648
that's still what matters,[br]that's always what's going to matter.

0:17:44.672,0:17:46.176
So in this much noisier world,

0:17:46.200,0:17:47.976
it might make sense for us

0:17:48.000,0:17:52.976
to be just a little bit more explicit[br]about our moral code.

0:17:53.000,0:17:55.576
When you combine the science[br]of recognizing deception

0:17:55.600,0:17:57.276
with the art of looking, listening,

0:17:57.300,0:17:59.976
you exempt yourself[br]from collaborating in a lie.

0:18:00.000,0:18:03.976
You start up that path[br]of being just a little bit more explicit,

0:18:04.000,0:18:06.000
because you signal to everyone around you,

0:18:06.024,0:18:10.976
you say, "Hey, my world, our world,[br]it's going to be an honest one.

0:18:11.000,0:18:13.620
My world is going to be[br]one where truth is strengthened

0:18:13.644,0:18:15.976
and falsehood is recognized[br]and marginalized."

0:18:16.000,0:18:17.976
And when you do that,

0:18:18.000,0:18:20.976
the ground around you starts[br]to shift just a little bit.

0:18:21.000,0:18:23.976
And that's the truth. Thank you.

0:18:24.000,0:18:29.000
(Applause)