[Voiceover: Strucci] Is it possible for you to form a relationship with
someone who doesn't know you and has never met you?
Or with someone who doesn't even exist?
Yes. You can. There's even a name for it: A parasocial relationship.
[Nick Uhas] Creators find that the more they give their audience,
the more their audience gives back to them.
Think of it like having a conversation with a friend. Or, a thousand of them.
- [Girl in audience] Woo!
[Bo Burnham] I'm giving you attention, girl that's "woo"-ing. Are you happy now?
[Girl in audience] I love you!
[Burnham] You love me? That's very nice. You love the idea of me.
You don't know me, but that's okay. It's called a parasocial relationship.
It goes one way and is ultimately destructive, but please --
keep buying all my shit forever.
- [Burnham in Voiceover] Uh, and the best part about it, man,
you got all these young fans. Uh, and, which is great, because young people,
they're very passionate, they're very reliable consumers.
But what you gotta do, in order to take your career to the next level,
you gotta cater more heavily to them.
- [Burnham] That's how it works.
Capitalism, I'm trapped.
It's terrible, I'm a horrible person.
- [Burnham singing] ♫ Art is dead ♫
♫ So people think you're funny ♫
♫ How do we get those people's money? ♫
- [Jon LaJoie talking] Girl, I love you so much.
I wish we could be together.
Unfortunately we can't, because,
I'm rich and famous and you're not.
But, why don't you just
go out and buy my album?
And tell your friends about it too,
so that they also go out and buy it.
[Voiceover: Strucci] This video will offer a basic definition
and exploration of the essay that originated the concept and the term.
Part 2 will deal with parasocial relationships with fictional characters,
and with real people, including where that line is blurred.
Part 3 will expand on the research covering these relationships,
along with their applications, and how they have been deliberately
fostered and used, for better or for worse.
And part 4 will be my own personal conclusions and advice regarding them,
especially the phrase "Don't meet your heroes."
This is something really important to name and to think about, especially
with the way that these relationships can be used to exploit vulnerable people,
or used in place of actual relationships in a way that is unhealthy.
- [Burnham singing] ♫ I also hope that you don't see through ♫
♫ This cleverly constructed ruse ♫
♫ Designed by a marketing team ♫
♫ Cashing in on puberty and low self-esteem ♫
♫ And girls' desperate need to feel loved... ♫
♫ (Please love me!) ♫
- [Voiceover: Strucci] And I feel like it's a topic
that's very rarely touched on. I only became aware of the term about
a year and a half ago, despite being obsessed with media. And I feel like this
is something all the people watching this video have experienced,
even if you haven't ever really thought about it or tried to name it.
Parasocial relationships have been researched so extensively
that studying them and condensing information about them down is daunting.
But they seem unheard of in a wider context.
Normally, I can pull from other video essays and documentaries
and interviews for supplementary clips, but on YouTube for example,
there are just some TED and TEDx talks, maybe a couple of video essays,
and a bunch of PowerPoint-style school projects and vloggers and academics
talking into the camera.
The term "parasocial relationships" gives about 900 results.
Other variations on the phrase in an academic context give far fewer
results, and while "parasocial" gives a ton of results,
most of them are not in English and have nothing to do with the theory.
Compare this to auteur theory, which I did an essay on a couple years ago,
which has over 10 times the results,
with a ton of video essays by well-known YouTube editors and personalities
and interviews and documentaries with famous filmmakers, and the like.
I will refer to what videos I did find throughout this series,
but overall, I was surprised by the difference between the dozens and dozens
of academic studies and essays I found, and the lack of video covering them.
And I was compelled to try to help bridge that gap,
and provide more accessible information on these relationships.
- [Man speaking Chinese]
- [Voiceover: Strucci] Also, please note that me talking about
a particular character or personality in this series does not imply
that I'm endorsing them or their beliefs.
Parasocial relationships can be formed with all sorts of people and all sorts of
characters, and me talking about a persona in this series is certainly not
an endorsement of that persona.
Okay, so what are parasocial relationships
and why do I care so much about them?
- [Bo Burnham singing] ♫ I'm in magazines ♫
♫ Full of model teens ♫
♫ So far above you ♫
♫ So read them and hate yourself ♫
♫ Then pay me to tell you I love you ♫
(whispering) I love you.
- [Voiceover: Strucci] In 1956, Donald Horton and Richard Wohl
published "Mass Communication and Para-Social Interaction:
Observations on Intimacy at a Distance" in the journal Psychiatry.
Note that while I'm leaving my excerpts from the piece unaltered,
it was written in the 50s,
so keep that in mind when outdated and potentially offensive words
like "invalid" or the million times personas and spectators
are referred to as "he" come up.
Their essay opens with the following paragraph:
"One of the striking characteristics of the new mass media––
radio, television, and the movies --
is that they give the illusion of a face-to-face relationship with
the performer. The conditions of response to the performer are analogous
to those in a primary group.
The most remote and illustrious men are met as if
they were in a circle of ones peers;
the same is true of a character in a story
who comes to life in these media
in an especially vivid and arresting way.
We propose to call this seeming face-to-face relationship
between spectator and performer
a para-social relationship."
They refer to figures, personalities whose existence
is a function of the media, as "personae:"
referring to "quizmasters, announcers, and interviewers,"
who speak directly into the camera,
in an attempt to get the audience
to "consider that they are involved
in a face-to-face exchange,
rather than a passive observation."
They describe TV shows and radio shows a persona would be on
as "personality programs."
They quote Dave Garroway, a radio and television personality,
describing how he "stumbled on the device":
"Most talk on the radio in those days was formal and usually a little stiff.
But I just rambled along, saying whatever came into my mind.
I was introspective.
I tried to pretend that I was chatting with a friend
over a highball, late in the evening."
- Dave was one of the first that didn't say
"Ladies and gentlemen."
You know, the idea when you were broadcasting,
to get on as though, you know, there were millions of people out there,
so you say "Ladies and gentlemen!"
Well, you're not broadcasting to "ladies and gentlemen."
You're broadcasting to individuals or small groups,
in a home or in an intimate setting,
and that's the way Dave approached it. It was kind of new to do that then.
- [Voiceover: Strucci] "Then - and later - I consciously tried
to talk to the listener as an individual,
to make each listener feel that he knew me, and I knew him.
It seemed to work pretty well then and later.
I know that strangers often stop me on the street today, call me Dave,
and seem to feel that we are old friends who know all about each other."
- This is a man who was able to look
into that lens, as I am doing now,
and talk to people at home.
As if he was talking one-to-one with you.
- [Voiceover: Strucci] Horton and Wohl describe parasocial
relationships as "a simulacrum of conversational
give-and-take, in opposition to ortho-social relationships,
the difference lying in lack of affective reciprocity.
It is a relationship that is one-sided, non-dialectical,
controlled by the performer, and not susceptible to mutual development."
They also say that the persona "offers,
above all, a continuing relationship,
where its appearance as a regular and dependable event
to be counted on, planned for, and integrated
into the routines of daily life.
"To say that he is familiar and intimate
is to use pale and feeble language
for the pervasiveness and closeness
with which multitudes feel his presence.
And the persona's character and pattern of action
remain basically unchanged,
in a world of otherwise disturbing change.
It's a relationship where the technical devices
of the media themselves are exploited
to create illusions of intimacy,
with no challenge to the spectator's self."
Horton and Wohl were talking about radio and televison,
but all this applies even more so to Internet personalities,
being that the techniques of exploiting these relationships
have had time to be honed and refined over the past 60 years.
The YouTube Creator Academy, free courses available online
behind the scenes to YouTube content creators,
give recommendations for techniques that deliberately foster
parasocial relationships with audience members,
using terms like "Be authentic," and "Make your community feel loved",
in the same courses as phrases like "Long-term channel growth"
and "How can you capitalize on this?",
even encouraging YouTube personalities
to develop and play up catchphrases,
and give special names to fans.
Back to Horton and Wohl.
"All these devices are indulged in not only to lure the attention
of the audience, and to create the easy impression
that there is a kind of participation open to them
in the program itself, but also to highlight
the chief values stressed in such 'personality' shows.
These are sociability, easy affability,
friendship, and close contact - briefly, all the values associated
with free access to, and easy participation in,
pleasant social interactions in primary groups.
Because the relationship between persona and audience
is one-sided, and cannot be developed mutually,
very nearly the whole burden
of creating a plausible imitation of intimacy,
is thrown on the persona and on the show of which he is the pivot.
If he is successful in initiating an intimacy which his audience
can believe in..."
- [Man presenting award] For giving generation upon generation
of children confidence in themselves. For being their friend -
- [Voiceover: Strucci] "... then the audience may help him
maintain it by fan mail,
and by the various other kinds of support,
which can be provided indirectly to buttress his actions."
A fun part of this study is where Horton and Wohl posit
that "other attitudes than compliance
in the assigned role are, of course, possible.
One may reject, take an analytical stance,
perhaps even find a cynical amusement
in refuting the offered gambit,
and playing some other role not implied in the script ..."
- [Voiceover on TV] Who's that Pokemon?
- [Man offscreen] (screaming) IT'S PIKACHU!
- [Voiceover on TV] It's Koffing!
- [Man offscreen] (screaming) GOD DAMN IT! ARRGHH!
- [Voiceover: Strucci] "... Or view the proceedings
with a detached curiosity, or hostility."
Which, of course, is what I'm doing right here.
You could also see it in the adversarial spectatorship
of Mystery Science Theater 3000, especially in their educational shorts.
- [Character in film] So, you never wanna see
another spring, eh? Okay, mister! I'll fix it so you GET that way!
- [Crow] ... In HELL!
- [Voiceover: Strucci] And in Red-Letter Media's Nerd Crew:
- Hello, and welcome to another very special episode
of The Nerd Crew. As always, I'm Mike.
- And I'm Jay, and I'm just someone that really loves comic books,
and Star Wars. I didn't used to, until it became commercially viable,
and now, me personally, I love talking about Star Wars.
I thought it was fucking stupid,
but now I think it is the most amazing thing in pop culture.
- [Voiceover: Strucci] A series that is a vicious parody
of quote-unquote "Nerd Podcasts" and videos
that exist to milk revenue from fans of geek culture.
- And, today's sponsor, is Nerd Coffin.
That's right! (loudly) It's a COFFIN for NERDS!
- The inside is lined with a material featuring all of your favorite
pop culture characters.
You can choose from Star Wars, Marvel, or DC characters
to stare at, while you lay in a coffin, waiting for your body to rot.
- Nerd Coffin will install a WiFi-enabled flatscreen television, directly
into your coffin. And when a new geek culture movie is released,
it'll be streamed, directly into your grave.
[Voiceover: Strucci] Horton and Wohl differentiate between
the kind of identification a spectator would have with a character in a play
or film, with a parasocial interaction.
When you're looking at a fictional character as a part of a drama separate
from yourself, you certainly might identify with that character,
even on a deep emotional level - what they refer to as
"that loss of situational references and self-consciousness".
With a parasocial relationship in a personality program though,
the persona continually addresses the spectator,
with these references serving to "remind the spectator of their own independent
identity. The only illusion maintained is that of directness and immediacy of
participation." With a drama, you surrender control through identification.
With a parasocial relationship, you are "called upon to make appropriate responses
which are complimentary to those of the persona."
-[DORA] I need your help to stop Swiper!
You have to say "Swiper, no swiping!"
Say it with us!
- [Voiceover: Strucci] Which is referred to as the "answering
role," described as, "to a degree, voluntary and independent."
They describe watching a drama as a closed system, with roles that are pre-determined
in their mutual relations, and a persona's performance (which is open ended)
begging for a specific answering role to give it closure.
They say "The 'personality' program – in contrast to the drama –
is especially designed to provide occasion for good-natured joking and
teasing, praising and admiring, gossiping and telling anecdotes,
in which the values of friendship and intimacy are stressed."
Horton and Wohl say of a parasocial relationship that "the greatest pains
are taken by the persona to create an illusion of intimacy.
We call it an illusion because the relationship between the persona
and any member of his audience is inevitably one-sided,
and reciprocity between the two can only be suggested."
They speak of a general propaganda on behalf of personae with the major theme
that "...the performer should be loved and admired. Every attempt possible is
made to strengthen the illusion of reciprocity and rapport
in order to offset the inherent impersonality of the media themselves."
There is an emphasis on the ideal performer having "heart" and
being "sincere," with a performance that's "real" and "warm," so that the audience is
"entreated to assume a sense of personal obligation to the performer."
They reference Robert K. Merton's
Mass Persuasion: The Social Psychology of a War Bond Drive,
describing his "acute analysis of the audience's demand for 'sincerity'
as a reassurance against manipulation."
The study was published in 1946, and examined a radio entertainer
named Kate Smith's efforts to sell war bonds on the CBS radio network.
An abstract for the study says that "the emphasis in the analysis is
on the personal-social dynamics in the individual which were stimulated to react
by the symbols presented by Smith. The social and cultural context which gave
such a catalytic effect to Smith's type of persuasion are considered in term
of the meanings which they had for the listeners.
The moral implications for political manipulators using this potent type of
radio technique is examined in the light of the research findings."
Merton said "On every side, Americans feel themselves the object of manipulation,
the target for ingenious methods of control, through advertising which
cajoles, promises, terrorizes... Through cumulatively subtle methods of
salesmanship which may simulate values common to both salesman and client
for private and self-interested motives. Listeners felt a magnified will to believe
in Kate Smith's sincerity as a consequence of living in a society which has forgone
a sense of community and has substituted the mere pretense of common values
in order to further private interests,"
and that "Techniques of persuasion are known to have a long history,
and they have, probably, a longer pre-history. But never before the present day
has the quick persuasion of masses of people occurred on such a vast scale.
The trivial and the large, decisions alike are made the object of deliberate control.
Large populations are brought to prefer a given brand of soap,
or hair tonic, or laxative; or, predisposed by their conditions of life,
large masses are persuaded to follow a political leader who means many things to
many men. Loyalties are captured and control of mass behavior temporarily
ensured." Horton/Wohl mention that viewers are also
"...expected to benefit by his wisdom, reflect on his advice, sympathize with him
with him in his difficulties, forgive his mistakes, buy the products he recommends,
and keep his sponsor informed of the esteem in which he is held."
That's part of the insidiousness of parasocial relationships.
- [Jon LaJoie singing] ♫ They'll market this song to young, ♫
♫ impressionable, and insecure teenage girls ♫
♫ 'Cause all you gotta say is "ooh, baby," "I love you" ♫
♫ or "girl, I need you in my world" ♫
- [Narration: Strucci] It's one thing to feel a connection
to someone or something, even if it's just one-way. It's another for that connection
to be deliberately fostered and then exploited for monetary gain.
- [Bo Burnham singing] ♫And your parents will always come along ♫
♫ Because their little girl's in love, and how could love be wrong? ♫
- [Group chanting] ♫ Make money, make money money ♫
- [Jon LaJoie singing] ♫ Rich men making money off ♫
♫ of their investments ♫
♫ Ooh, it's so sexual, baby ♫
- [Voiceover: Strucci] This might sound hypocritical,
considering I make money off of Patreon, but I'm asking for money from Patrons
to help me keep making videos, not asking for donations from friends or for people
to buy from any corporate sponsors. I know I might not always succeed...
- [Bo Burnham singing] ♫ I must be psychotic, I must be demented♫
♫ To think that I'm worthy of all this attention ♫
♫ Of all of this money you worked really hard for ♫
♫ I slept in late while you worked at the drug store ♫
- [Narration: Strucci] I do try to speak from a place of
approachable expertise and come across more like a laid-back film school
instructor rather than a close friend, and keep at least somewhat of a barrier up.
It's off-putting and disturbing when I see other content creators who use
parasocial relationships to deliberately and cynically manipulate audiences.
Horton and Wohls speak of personality programs being
"...particularly favorable to the compensatory attachments by the socially
isolated, the socially inept, the aged and invalid, the timid and rejected."
Whereas "The persona himself is readily available as an object of love- especially
when he succeeds in cultivating the recommended quality of 'heart.'"
- [Bo Burnham singing] ♫ Yeaaah, we know it's not right ♫
♫ We know it's not funny But we'll stop beating this dead horse ♫
♫ When it stop spitting out money. ♫
♫ But until then... ♫
♫ We will repeat stuff. ♫
- [Voiceover: Strucci] I do think people who are more isolated
and vulnerable are more susceptible to exploitative parasocial relationships.
I also think that, in modern day, the quality of "heart" varies. Far-right
conspiracy theorists like Alex Jones are seen by fans as "truth tellers"-
- [Interviewer] But the thing that I will say in your
favor is you never, to me, come across as insincere.
I believe that you mean what you say. And I believe that you mean what you're doing.
[Alex Jones yelling] GET AWAY FROM ME, RACISTS! SHE'S GOD!
[grunts and pants]
[Man behind camera] He's on the loose. He's on the loose!
[Alex Jones] YOU'LL NEVER STOP ME! RACIST!
[Interviewer] I-It's, um, always heartening to me when
I find someone who's the same off-screen as they are on...
[Voiceover: Alex Jones] Gay bomb, baby!
[Interviewer] 'cause there's a sort of authenticity and
earnestness about you that I really like.
[Alex Jones] I was told by a genetic engineer...
[distressed] They got humanoids crossed with fish and stuff, I mean...
[Interviewer] 'Cause I know you mean it.
[Voiceover: Strucci] And some people are fans of edgelords,
or fans of other cynical, hateful types because their cynicism is read as sincere
and more "real" than kindness is.
Horrible white supremacist Baked Alaska addresses his viewers as "fam" and wants
you to, quote, [imitating] "Remember to subscribe, comment, share, smash that like
button, and smash that bell button," the exact same way any former Vine star
or other benign personality would.
Months and months ago, when I was first researching for this essay,
I coincidentally came across this tweet on my timeline. I had difficulty figuring
out its origin because it's an image that has been posted again and again on the
internet, typically tagged "forever alone" before it later became more associated
with podcasts and the like. It encapsulates the feel and the allure
of parasocial relationships while also plainly making fun of them, and
differentiating them from actual, two-way relationships. Horton and Wohl point out
that "The encouragement of, not to say demand for, a sense of intimacy
with the persona and an appreciation of him as a "real" person is in contradiction
to the fact that the image he presents is to some extent a construct – a facade –
which bears little resemblance to his private character."
It's easy to feel that you know someone if you're familiar with them through
their work. But unless you've actually interacted with them, you don't know them.
You could watch every minute of every video essay and review and short film
I put up, and read everything I've written (including a frankly shameful number of
tweets), and on top of that I could start a podcast and do hundreds of episodes
so you could have hundreds or thousands of cumulative hours of me talking alone or
to friends to consume, and you could consume every minute of it,
but you still wouldn't have a real relationship with me.
You'd get my public persona– what I choose to say while I'm being recorded–
which is removed from the realm of actual, two-way social interaction.
Parasocial interaction theory is just as valuable as auteur theory, if not more
valuable because it's an examination of relationships that,
despite not being real, can have a powerful emotional impact on anyone that's
ever been a big fan of any person, or of any piece of art made by a person.
And any powerful emotional effect minus rigorous examination and reflection can
lead to manipulation and exploitation (which I'll talk about more in future
videos). For this video, I just wanted to lay the
groundwork and give you incentive to start examining parasocial relationships
you might have and how they might be effecting your day-to-day life.
Thanks for watching! If you enjoyed this video, please consider donating to my
Patreon. I also have plenty of other video essays, film reviews, and comedy and
horror short films on my channel, so feel free to check those out as well.
Look forward to part two of this series coming soon! Thanks.