[Script Info]
Title: 
[Events]
Format: Layer, Start, End, Style, Name, MarginL, MarginR, MarginV, Effect, Text
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,There is a new TV show that just came out,
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,it's called Top Chef,
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I don't know if you have seen it.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,September 10, 2010.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Cyprien walks quietly in the street.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,At the same time an asteroid threatens to \Ncrash on the earth.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Any measure is taken by the leading forces
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,who have not been warned because of an \Nerror of inattention.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Fortunately, it degrades into the air and\Nbecomes a dust
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,which comes in contact with a Cyprien's \Noily hair,
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and by a molecular reaction that we can't \Nexplain now
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,coupled with a scriptwriting ease,
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,a time warp is created
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,propelling Cyprien several years before,
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and, he will never know it.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I'm suffering from the Top Chef's curse.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It means that the evening when I eat the\Nworst crap,
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,it's Top Chef's time.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,What's for dinner ?
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Well.. I took all the leftover feed of the\Nweek, put it all in a Tupperware,
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,add some water, in the micro-wave,
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and here it is, a kind of quiche,
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and for the bread, we got pizza crusts.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,30 seconds !
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,They do it on purpose ! They know it !
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It's to put us off of not eating well.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Let me eat shit in peace.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,There is one disingenuous thing with\NTop Chef,
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,from the beginning, the opening credits,
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,with the head of all candidates,
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,they should remove the face of people\Neliminated over the weeks,
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,it looks obvious !
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Sorry but it's not good, for you the\Nadventure stops here.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Is it possible to remove me from\Nthe credits ?
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Not at all, no way !
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,We will show your face every week to\Nmillions of viewers
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,who will tell "I have no fucking idea of\Nwho this guy is".
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Great.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,This is Top Chef.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Honestly people who make this show, wow,
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,well done honestly, first because it's\Nreally well paced,
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,the music ! Have you ever heard the music\Nthey put in Top Chef ?
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Oh, you're watching Pirates of the \NCaribbean ?
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,No I'm watching a guy cuting leeks.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And what happen this year ?
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,They have changed almost the whole jury !
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Thierry Marx, there is no Thierry \NMarx anymore, my favorite !
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Well, he left for new projects,
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,for gastronomic things, culinary,\Nsomething technical I guess,
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,which take him a lot of time,\Nthat must be the reason.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Lustucru "As a chef",
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,pasta that make you want to cook,\Nas a chef.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The only remaining jury member is\Nthe robot.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,What ? Don't try to make me believe
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that Jean-François Piège is a human being.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Someone who stands like this naturally,
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,is, of course, an artificial intelligence.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Excellent cooking, it's my favorite.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And who did they put in the jury ? Who ?
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Philippe Etchebest !
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The guy who yells at you non-stop,\Nlike this :
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Damn, trust yourself ! Where is your\Ncreativity ?
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Bring your creativity out !
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,If you don't regain control, it will\Nhit you, alright ?
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,People are lost because he screams,
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,so they cook shit, so he screams.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Well this is normal to be confused,
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,in front of someone who has no eyebrows.\NDisturbing.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,What the hell are you doing ?
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Shit ! Where are his eyebrows ?
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Does he had them at the beginning of the\Nshow ?
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Is it contagious ?
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I don't want to lose my eyebrows !
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,No lies, every year it's almost the same,
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,every year tests are the same,
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,every year they must cook for kids,
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,every year there is an ass-kisser who\Ndecides to cook some fucking vegetables
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,to impress the jury.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So, for kids, I made them some turnips,
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,with pickled cabbage,
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,a medley of forgotten vegetables,
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,with a sweet-and-sour sauce,
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and all together shaped like a fish,
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,kids love when it's fish-shaped.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Yuck ! It's disgusting ! I wanna die !\NI wanna die !
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Really ?
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Mom it's really not good !
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I didn't expect it...
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Every year, the winner is the one \Nwho cooks pasta.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,For 6 years now.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The black box's test.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,This is crazy.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,They must reproduce a dish,\Nthat they must taste it, touch it,
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,in complete darkness. In a giant box.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,With infrared cameras.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It's kind of weird in fact.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"PORN CASTING"\NSo, I've tasted everything,
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,put everything in my mouth,
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I think that there is some seafood,
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and cheese maybe,\Na strong cheese.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,What is it ? Yet, I've licked everywhere.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I'll remember.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The horrible moment in this show, \Nit's the final.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The final is embarrassing,
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Finalists have to prepare dozens of menus,
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,with the help of the guys who have been\Neleminated before.
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,People told them : "sorry the adventure \Nis over,
Dialogue: 0,9:59:59.99,9:59:59.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,you're really sucks, get the fuck out !"