1 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 There is a new TV show that just came out, 2 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 it's called Top Chef, 3 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 I don't know if you have seen it. 4 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 September 10, 2010. 5 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 Cyprien walks quietly in the street. 6 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 At the same time an asteroid threatens to crash on the earth. 7 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 Any measure is taken by the leading forces 8 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 who have not been warned because of an error of inattention. 9 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 Fortunately, it degrades into the air and becomes a dust 10 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 which comes in contact with a Cyprien's oily hair, 11 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 and by a molecular reaction that we can't explain now 12 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 coupled with a scriptwriting ease, 13 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 a time warp is created 14 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 propelling Cyprien several years before, 15 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 and, he will never know it. 16 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 I'm suffering from the Top Chef's curse. 17 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 It means that the evening when I eat the worst crap, 18 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 it's Top Chef's time. 19 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 What's for dinner ? 20 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 Well.. I took all the leftover feed of the week, put it all in a Tupperware, 21 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 add some water, in the micro-wave, 22 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 and here it is, a kind of quiche, 23 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 and for the bread, we got pizza crusts. 24 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 30 seconds ! 25 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 They do it on purpose ! They know it ! 26 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 It's to put us off of not eating well. 27 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 Let me eat shit in peace. 28 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 There is one disingenuous thing with Top Chef, 29 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 from the beginning, the opening credits, 30 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 with the head of all candidates, 31 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 they should remove the face of people eliminated over the weeks, 32 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 it looks obvious ! 33 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 Sorry but it's not good, for you the adventure stops here. 34 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 Is it possible to remove me from the credits ? 35 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 Not at all, no way ! 36 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 We will show your face every week to millions of viewers 37 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 who will tell "I have no fucking idea of who this guy is". 38 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 Great. 39 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 This is Top Chef. 40 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 Honestly people who make this show, wow, 41 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 well done honestly, first because it's really well paced, 42 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 the music ! Have you ever heard the music they put in Top Chef ? 43 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 Oh, you're watching Pirates of the Caribbean ? 44 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 No I'm watching a guy cuting leeks. 45 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 And what happen this year ? 46 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 They have changed almost the whole jury ! 47 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 Thierry Marx, there is no Thierry Marx anymore, my favorite ! 48 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 Well, he left for new projects, 49 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 for gastronomic things, culinary, something technical I guess, 50 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 which take him a lot of time, that must be the reason. 51 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 Lustucru "As a chef", 52 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 pasta that make you want to cook, as a chef. 53 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 The only remaining jury member is the robot. 54 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 What ? Don't try to make me believe 55 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 that Jean-François Piège is a human being. 56 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 Someone who stands like this naturally, 57 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 is, of course, an artificial intelligence. 58 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 Excellent cooking, it's my favorite. 59 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 And who did they put in the jury ? Who ? 60 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 Philippe Etchebest ! 61 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 The guy who yells at you non-stop, like this :