[Script Info]
Title: 
[Events]
Format: Layer, Start, End, Style, Name, MarginL, MarginR, MarginV, Effect, Text
Dialogue: 0,0:00:00.00,0:00:01.28,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,There is a new TV show that just came out,
Dialogue: 0,0:00:01.28,0:00:02.24,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,it's called Top Chef,
Dialogue: 0,0:00:02.24,0:00:03.26,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I don't know if you have seen it.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:03.26,0:00:04.28,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,September 10, 2010.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:04.28,0:00:05.76,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Cyprien walks quietly in the street.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:05.76,0:00:07.72,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,At the same time an asteroid threatens to \Ncrash on the earth.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:07.72,0:00:08.95,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,No measure is taken by the leading forces
Dialogue: 0,0:00:08.95,0:00:10.76,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,who hadn't been warned due to an \Nerror of inattention.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:10.76,0:00:13.24,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Fortunately, it degrades in the air and\Nbecomes dust
Dialogue: 0,0:00:13.24,0:00:15.19,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,which comes in contact with a piece of Cyprien's \Noily hair,
Dialogue: 0,0:00:15.19,0:00:17.52,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and by a molecular reaction that we can't \Nexplain now
Dialogue: 0,0:00:17.52,0:00:18.97,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,coupled with a scriptwriting ease,
Dialogue: 0,0:00:18.97,0:00:20.05,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,a time warp is created
Dialogue: 0,0:00:20.05,0:00:21.71,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,propelling Cyprien several years into the future,
Dialogue: 0,0:00:21.71,0:00:22.72,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and, he will never know it.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:23.84,0:00:26.17,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I'm suffering from the Top Chef's curse.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:26.17,0:00:29.93,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,That is to say that the evening when I eat the\Nworst crap,
Dialogue: 0,0:00:29.93,0:00:32.28,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,it's the night that Top Chef's on.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:32.28,0:00:33.35,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,What's for dinner ?
Dialogue: 0,0:00:33.35,0:00:35.04,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Well.. I took all the week's leftovers, put it all in a Tupperware container,
Dialogue: 0,0:00:35.04,0:00:36.43,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,added a little water, put it in the micro-wave,
Dialogue: 0,0:00:36.43,0:00:37.67,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and here it is, a kind of quiche,
Dialogue: 0,0:00:37.67,0:00:38.98,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and for the bread, we've got pizza crusts.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:40.57,0:00:44.08,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,30 seconds !
Dialogue: 0,0:00:47.64,0:00:49.96,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,They do it on purpose ! They know it !
Dialogue: 0,0:00:49.96,0:00:52.41,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It's to put us off of not eating well.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:52.41,0:00:54.97,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Let me eat shit in peace.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:54.97,0:00:56.20,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,There is one disingenuous thing with\NTop Chef,
Dialogue: 0,0:00:56.20,0:00:57.61,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,from the beginning, the opening credits,
Dialogue: 0,0:00:57.61,0:00:59.57,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,with the head of all candidates,
Dialogue: 0,0:00:59.57,0:01:03.63,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,they should remove the face of people\Neliminated over the weeks,
Dialogue: 0,0:01:03.95,0:01:05.04,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,it looks obvious !
Dialogue: 0,0:01:05.04,0:01:07.65,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Sorry but it's not good, for you the\Nadventure stops here.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:07.65,0:01:09.06,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Is it possible to remove me from\Nthe credits ?
Dialogue: 0,0:01:09.06,0:01:10.56,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Not at all, no way !
Dialogue: 0,0:01:10.56,0:01:13.70,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,We will show your face every week to\Nmillions of viewers
Dialogue: 0,0:01:13.70,0:01:16.17,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,who will think, "Fuck, I don't remember this guy at all".
Dialogue: 0,0:01:16.17,0:01:17.10,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Great.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:17.10,0:01:18.13,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,This is Top Chef.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:21.29,0:01:25.08,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Honestly people who make this show, wow,
Dialogue: 0,0:01:25.08,0:01:27.39,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,well done honestly, first because it's\Nreally well paced,
Dialogue: 0,0:01:27.39,0:01:31.30,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,the music ! Have you ever heard the music\Nthey put in Top Chef ?
Dialogue: 0,0:01:31.30,0:01:34.12,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Oh, you're watching Pirates of the \NCaribbean ?
Dialogue: 0,0:01:34.12,0:01:37.64,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,No I'm watching a guy cuting leeks.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:37.64,0:01:39.34,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And what happen this year ?
Dialogue: 0,0:01:39.34,0:01:40.98,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,They have changed almost the whole jury !
Dialogue: 0,0:01:41.29,0:01:44.31,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Thierry Marx, there is no Thierry \NMarx anymore, my favorite !
Dialogue: 0,0:01:44.31,0:01:45.95,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Well, he left for new projects,
Dialogue: 0,0:01:45.95,0:01:49.87,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,for gastronomic things, culinary,\Nsomething technical I guess,
Dialogue: 0,0:01:49.87,0:01:52.04,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,which take him a lot of time,\Nthat must be the reason.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:55.84,0:01:57.84,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Lustucru "As a chef",
Dialogue: 0,0:01:57.84,0:02:00.88,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,pasta that make you want to cook,\Nas a chef.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:01.67,0:02:05.39,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The only remaining jury member is\Nthe robot.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:06.15,0:02:09.97,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,What ? Don't try to make me believe
Dialogue: 0,0:02:09.97,0:02:12.26,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that Jean-François Piège is a human being.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:12.26,0:02:15.98,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Someone who stands like this naturally,
Dialogue: 0,0:02:15.98,0:02:18.61,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,is, of course, an artificial intelligence.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:23.15,0:02:27.21,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Excellent cooking, it's my favorite.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:27.98,0:02:30.69,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And who do they put in the jury ? Who ?
Dialogue: 0,0:02:30.70,0:02:32.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Philippe Etchebest !
Dialogue: 0,0:02:32.38,0:02:35.45,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The guy who yells at you non-stop,\Nlike this :
Dialogue: 0,0:02:35.45,0:02:37.74,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Damn, trust yourself ! Where is your\Ncreativity ?
Dialogue: 0,0:02:37.74,0:02:39.13,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Bring your creativity out !
Dialogue: 0,0:02:39.13,0:02:40.82,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,If you don't regain control, it will\Nhit you, alright ?
Dialogue: 0,0:02:40.82,0:02:42.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,People are lost because he screams,
Dialogue: 0,0:02:42.99,0:02:44.12,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,so they cook shit, so he screams.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:44.12,0:02:46.50,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Well this it's normal to be confused,
Dialogue: 0,0:02:46.50,0:02:51.09,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,in front of someone who has no eyebrows. It's off-putting.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:51.09,0:02:52.81,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,What the hell are you doing ?
Dialogue: 0,0:02:52.81,0:02:54.26,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Damn ! Where are his eyebrows ?
Dialogue: 0,0:02:54.26,0:02:57.03,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Did he have them at the beginning of the\Nshow ?
Dialogue: 0,0:02:57.03,0:02:58.90,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Is it contagious ?
Dialogue: 0,0:02:58.90,0:03:00.58,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Can I lose my eyebrows?!
Dialogue: 0,0:03:00.58,0:03:03.61,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,No lies, every year it's almost the same,
Dialogue: 0,0:03:03.61,0:03:05.05,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,every year tests are the same,
Dialogue: 0,0:03:05.05,0:03:07.08,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,every year they must cook for kids,
Dialogue: 0,0:03:07.08,0:03:10.21,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,every year there is an ass-kisser who\Ndecides to cook some fucking vegetables
Dialogue: 0,0:03:10.21,0:03:11.98,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,to impress the jury.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:11.98,0:03:13.44,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So, for kids, I made them some turnips,
Dialogue: 0,0:03:13.44,0:03:15.30,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,with pickled cabbage,
Dialogue: 0,0:03:15.30,0:03:16.61,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,a medley of forgotten vegetables,
Dialogue: 0,0:03:16.61,0:03:18.03,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,with a sweet-and-sour sauce,
Dialogue: 0,0:03:18.03,0:03:19.80,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and all together shaped like a fish,
Dialogue: 0,0:03:19.80,0:03:21.17,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,kids love when it's fish-shaped.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:21.17,0:03:25.97,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Yuck ! It's disgusting ! I wanna die !\NI wanna die !
Dialogue: 0,0:03:25.97,0:03:27.31,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Really ?
Dialogue: 0,0:03:27.31,0:03:28.73,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Mom it's really not good !
Dialogue: 0,0:03:28.73,0:03:29.80,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I didn't expect it...
Dialogue: 0,0:03:29.80,0:03:32.17,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Every year, the winner is the one \Nwho cooks pasta.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:32.17,0:03:33.13,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,For 6 years now.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:33.13,0:03:34.41,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The black box's test.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:34.41,0:03:35.96,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,This is crazy.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:35.96,0:03:38.50,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,They must reproduce a dish,\Nthat they must taste it, touch it,
Dialogue: 0,0:03:38.50,0:03:40.48,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,in complete darkness. In a giant box.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:40.48,0:03:41.86,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,With infrared cameras.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:44.30,0:03:45.85,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It's kind of weird in fact.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:45.85,0:03:47.58,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So, I've tasted everything,
Dialogue: 0,0:03:47.58,0:03:49.23,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,put everything in my mouth,
Dialogue: 0,0:03:49.24,0:03:51.13,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I think that there is some seafood,
Dialogue: 0,0:03:51.13,0:03:54.14,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and cheese maybe,\Na strong cheese.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:54.14,0:03:57.60,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,What is it ? Yet, I licked everywhere.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:58.03,0:03:59.55,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It'll come back to me.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:59.55,0:04:01.96,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The horrible moment in this show, \Nit's the finale.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:01.96,0:04:03.32,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The finale is embarrassing,
Dialogue: 0,0:04:03.32,0:04:05.56,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Finalists have to prepare dozens of menus,
Dialogue: 0,0:04:05.56,0:04:09.18,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,with the help of the guys who have been\Neliminated before.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:09.18,0:04:11.42,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,People told them : "sorry the adventure \Nis over,
Dialogue: 0,0:04:11.42,0:04:13.29,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,you really suck, get lost !
Dialogue: 0,0:04:13.29,0:04:16.15,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Oh wait, come back, you will help someone\Nelse to win."
Dialogue: 0,0:04:16.15,0:04:18.41,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So, in front of you, sweet potato\Ngnocchi,
Dialogue: 0,0:04:18.41,0:04:19.55,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,chorizo emulsion, and a foie gras sauce
Dialogue: 0,0:04:19.55,0:04:23.20,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,prepared by, wait... by, I forgot his name,
Dialogue: 0,0:04:23.20,0:04:24.40,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,the guy who was kicked out on the\Nfirst week, right.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:25.60,0:04:27.82,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Bon appétit !
Dialogue: 0,0:04:27.82,0:04:30.04,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,ANTIFREEZE
Dialogue: 0,0:04:30.04,0:04:31.98,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,To find out who won the show,
Dialogue: 0,0:04:31.98,0:04:33.86,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,because there is money to win,
Dialogue: 0,0:04:33.86,0:04:35.85,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,they do a small staging, they go to the\Nfinalists,
Dialogue: 0,0:04:35.85,0:04:37.51,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,with all their friends, family and stuff,
Dialogue: 0,0:04:37.51,0:04:39.83,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,they must pull a knife out of its case,
Dialogue: 0,0:04:39.83,0:04:42.03,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,if the blade is orange, they have lost.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:42.03,0:04:44.26,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Well, maybe I have a twisted mind but
Dialogue: 0,0:04:44.26,0:04:46.32,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,it's basic, survival instincts,
Dialogue: 0,0:04:46.32,0:04:47.90,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,if I tell someone that he has lost,
Dialogue: 0,0:04:47.90,0:04:50.26,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I don't give him a bladed weapon.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:50.26,0:04:51.39,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It's your turn !
Dialogue: 0,0:04:51.39,0:04:53.44,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Orange blade, you lose.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:53.44,0:04:56.09,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,100.000€ goes to the other finalist,
Dialogue: 0,0:04:56.09,0:04:58.09,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,antifreeze in gnocchi
Dialogue: 0,0:04:58.09,0:05:00.08,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,it hasn't convinced, it was not a very\Ngood idea.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:00.08,0:05:02.87,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Be careful to the seasoning, it lacked \Nsalt sometimes, it's right that...
Dialogue: 0,0:05:05.39,0:05:08.52,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And the red blade ! What does the red\Nblade mean uh ?
Dialogue: 0,0:05:12.12,0:05:13.36,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It lacks salt.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:13.51,0:05:15.51,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Be careful to the seasoning.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:15.51,0:05:16.77,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It's important.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:16.77,0:05:18.27,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Well, Top Chef hasn't change my life,
Dialogue: 0,0:05:18.27,0:05:20.20,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I always eat the same thing unfortunately,
Dialogue: 0,0:05:20.20,0:05:22.48,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,yes, there is a small difference.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:22.48,0:05:24.51,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Before I was cooking like this,
Dialogue: 0,0:05:26.09,0:05:29.08,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,now, like this.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:29.08,0:05:30.52,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I still eat shit,
Dialogue: 0,0:05:30.52,0:05:32.90,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,but it's stylish.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:34.31,0:05:36.46,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Subscribe.