My father's conversation with me was daily.
My grandfather talked to me as a black man from Augusta, Georgia,
growing up in the deep south.
It's probably right my older brother
had this conversation
but then it's more of like...
you know...
wear a condom, do this--
you know, it's like little man lessons.
When a cop pulls you over.
When you get pulled over,
not if you get pulled over.
At some point you will get pulled over.
And here is how you act.
As a young black man
growing up in New York
I've had, you know,
a few run-ins with the police
and being completely innocent.
Some people pull us out of the car,
throw us on the floor, it's in February,
so it's snow
and slush and stuff on the ground.
Put their knees on our back,
put their guns to our head.
As I'm putting my hands
on the steering wheel,
so I don't make the police nervous,
I realize how nervous I was.
and then I realize my children were nervous.
The thing that people say is
you have to talk to him
before he
experience racism himself.
But when is that?
He is going to turn into
a large scary black man.
And that is not who he is
but that's how he will be perceived.
And I know what this kid is going to
he's going to look like him.
You know, I know what he is going to look like.
I'm a large scary black man?
You are a large scary black man, okay?
That's a problem in and of itself.
I am not large. Nor scary.
I can't do anything with that.
I'm sure, anyway, go ahead.
It's frightening.
And I'm being very light
when I use the word frightening.
If something goes wrong
your first line of defense,
you know, the parents
not being there, is to go to the police.
If you're Caucasian.
That's what you teach your children.
Unfortunately it can't work for black children.
It doesn't mean that every
police officer is inherently a bad person.
But what it does mean is
that the police force, that institution,
does not look out for your best interest.
There's this unspoken code of racism
and white supremacy
that says that my life does not matter.
You can put your hands up
and cooperate
and say that I'm choking and still be killed
and then there is no repercussions.
It's maddening. I get so frustrated
and angry
about having to prepare my kids
for something that
that they're not responsible for.
I mean these are conversations that
people of other races do not
have to have with their children.
The conversation with him was really just:
"Look,
you are a beautiful young boy..."
Being an African American
is a wonderful thing,
it's a wonderful blessing.
You have come from great people.
But it's also a hard thing.
In America
because of your skin color
as a black boy
and as a black man
we are going to be dealing
with a lot of danger.
Under no circumstance
are you to talk to the police
if you're arrested until I get there.
Do what they say.
Don't get into any arguments.
Make sure your hands are out
of your pockets so they can see.
These are the questions you can ask.
This is who to call.
This is what happens
if this bad thing is done.
"Please master don't whip me" No!
It like: "Excuse me sir,
what is your batch number?
I'm going to film this."
If you want police brutality to stop.
If you want police
to treat you like a human being
you have to see yourself as a human being.
You have every right in this world
that anyone else does.
What I love about you as my son
is I remember
when we thought about having you
and, you know, knowing that we wanted you.
And watching you grow.
You are Muhammad Ali,
you are Malcolm X,
you are Martin Luther King.
You are an amazing young man
and the future is yours.
and I will do my best to make sure you're safe.
That's it. I love you.