Hi we're Foil Arms and Hog these are our top 10 videos from 2022 No confidence in my voice at all Unsubscribe Please unsubscribe to the channel Thank you so much for having me my mom No problem Sent over some Irish crisps and sausages Oh no that is not a sausage No this is a sausage Well on the weekends we just like to relax with a little stroll Okay You can wear these How far are we going? Oh not so far I'll get my crampons Crampons? Did you bring your own tent or would you like to share the tent with us? How is your German? Oh yeah I can speak We will speak English with him OK very good very good The breakfast will be at six In the morning? Oh would you like to have it earlier? I can set the alarm clock for him No no six is fine Then we can go for a walk Ahhh What bin should I put the orange peel in? Oh yeah okay we have 16 different bins and they are all colour coded and you must make very sure that you must put it in the correct bin Okay yeah Yeah I'm ready to go But you are late We said we'd meet at two o'clock We did But it's two now? No is three minutes past two Yeah Oh yeah but in Ireland that's on time so Oisín this is not acceptable in our household Oisín here is your school timetable Oh thank you And after school you will have free time so here is your timetable Oisín hurry Yeah Hurry Come on the bus is at 6:30 if we do not get this one we will have to wait another two minutes Sorry Gerhart Yeah Could you help me with my essay? Yeah no problem Okay so I'm trying to say as I walked through the forest I had a somber peacefulness that came from being in solitude with nature but how would you say that in German? Waldeinsmakeit Just one word? Yeah very efficient Gerhart Yeah Why don't you tell Oisín some more of our funny jokes Oh yeah Why don't we just go for a walk again Oh Ok we can go for a walk Then we can tell the jokes on the way I'll get my crampons I'll get the tent Oisín? Yeah Yeah as a special trip today we are going swimming in the lake Oh I'll get my togs Oh there is no need Um? Everyone ready to go? Hmm? Yeah is everyone ready to get in the car now yeah? Come on chop chop we don't want to be late Oisín Now would you like a glass of beer with your dinner? Well can I? Well you are 16 aren't you? Yeah yeah no I am there you go Oisín your mother wishes to speak with you Hi Mum Yeah Yeah learning loads Alright I'll see you in two weeks bye Aw man It's a goodie Oh man that was funny Can't believe it didn't end with the nudity It really should have ended with the nudity The next sketch in at number 9 is... Love this one Okay Well it's beautiful it's moving it's powerful Thank you But We're gonna go with Paul's dream Cool What? Sea Horse Gunship Super Fight? Yeah It doesn't make any sense though I mean in scene one he's playing football and then in scene two he's with giants at the bottom of the ocean Yeah but it turns out it's not the bottom of the ocean it's a big bowl of spaghetti Yeah It doesn't make any sense Okay I spent 12 weeks on mine It's got character development plot twists resolution I really I put my heart and soul into it I spent 20 minutes on mine Derek you're the new guy Okay you're probably just trying to make a big impression but you're just you're trying too hard here you know they're dreams And they're important and what Paul's done is just Okay I understand you've got a problem with Paul Okay but he's been here a long time okay? he understands that I need six hours of dream material every single night and he provides that Yeah but he's no Derek I cannot have you spending 12 weeks working on one 15-minute dream Sea Horse Gunship Super Fight that is 52 minutes of dream time 52 minutes of nonsense though I was like you when I started All right I wanted to be the big shot make it make a big change you know affect his life okay but it doesn't matter when it comes down to it because when he wakes up He's forgotten He's forgotten everything He's an idiot 15 seconds later it is gone Gone literally So what it just doesn't matter what you write then? You know not really no No that's not true dreams have meaning Meaning? Oh come on meaning oh yeah Oh I can predict the future the meaning Come on that's people reading too much into it I have got an actual bedtime coming up here Okay now are you going to be a team player? Yes obviously Okay you're in. Our main dream for the night Seahorse Gunship Super Fight Secondary dream what have we got? I'm thinking he is running to catch a bus but his feet are moving really slowly people start looking at him he realizes he's naked That's great Well that sounds familiar Sorry what? It's literally the same dream as we did last month Yeah I know it is So we're just going to do the same dream again A recurring dream Derek Recurring dream They're just so lazy It is a legitimate a re-run It's a recurring dream A re-run? It is a legitimate dream Have you got a better idea? Yes I do He's walking through a meadow OK This is one I've been working on he's walking through a meadow okay The sun is coming down okay And then his teeth fall out His teeth Okay his teeth are gone Why would his teeth fall out? I don't know they just do They're just like It's a dream But for no reason? Well let's give a reason for it let's have it symbolic of something you know like he's anxious or he's worried about Oh it's tied into the future Derek Derek? Oh his true meaning Listen to me Just We come in We make up some wild s&*t then we leave okay? no one cares no one asks questions okay this is a job for life with zero accountability how can you not get on board with it? So we just make up any old crap Any old crap It does not matter Okay fine let's have a like a walrus making love to a radiator in a spaceship covered in salt and there's there's snails painting everything green and they're on skateboards flying around Great stuff Excellent that's great stuff Paul I want you to write that down okay you write that down we're gonna use that maybe the next time he's been eating a lot of cheese Okay because that's really good stuff I wasn't being serious Okay okay we've one more dream left tonight just Why don't we just have him chasing Cooper from next door again? Yeah it works Chasing dreams? Chasing dreams that's the best we can do? Yeah what can you relax for just a second? Why do you have to go to so much effort? I mean he's just a dog In the next sketch I think we drew a lot from our childhood I certainly did I don't know how much gardening you had to do? As a child I was made do work by my grandmother and my mother relentless You told us tales of your garden nightmares throughout our friendship I actually quite like gardening now so clearly it had a positive effect longterm A first entering into the top 10 of this year for Mrs Anne Flanagan Oisín Oisín What? I need your help in the garden No mum You promised Oisín right a small help now they were the conditions on going to the disco Fine Look we'll be done in five minutes We'll be done in 20 minutes 14 hours What? We'll start with the hedge Grab the garden shears Can we not just use the electric one? God no Oh yeah of course no that would just make the job go quickly Far too dangerous I'm not spending the next 24 hours in A&E Yeah it would be more fun than gardening I will give you five euro an hour Five euro? Well I had to spend 400 euro on all the garden center stuff What that supposed to make me feel better is it? Knowing that you spend more on the garden than you do on me? I spend enough on you mister Right? Can we listen to a podcast? No Can we listen to music? No Can we listen to the radio? No You can listen to the birds Oisín nature's music How's it going everyone? If you're here to save him Barry You can wait another two hours Oisín could you give me the hoe pet? What did you say? The hoe love Sorry? The? I need a hoe You need... You need a ho? Yes You need a ho? Yes I need a hoe Will I go get you a ho? Yes Could you get me a hoe please? Look at that Ah mum That's Ann O'Connor's cat that's what that is Why did you pick it up? I have a right mind to throw it right back over the wall Mum They're nice flowers They're weeds Well I think they're wild flowers They're weeds pull them up I think they look nice They may look nice the bees might like them but they're weeds pull them up Mum it's filthy inside There's nothing wrong with that glove it's brand new What is the point of a glove that's dirty on the inside? Well the two of you now are a great help There is a bee Well now they are more afraid of you than they are Ah bastard get away Where is it? Now do you see them there they are the delphiniums right and beside them is the azaleas and here we have I think it's the Montana Titilatus What? Montana Titilatus Get the hoe Maybe we could take a break and have some ice creams? Oh yeah You haven't done anything Barry Magnums You know the limited edition ones No we don't have any magnums now You do underneath the frozen pees Jesus Christ he knows where everything is I'll get them Right that's it now Doesn't it look great? Yeah Now you should be very proud of yourself you did terrific work Yeah it wasn't as bad as I thought Yeah and it'll be great now for when the gardener's come in tomorrow What? We've given them a great head start now Gardeners? Why didn't you just get the gardeners to do it? They are 25 euro an hour Oisín Mum that was a whole day I don't know why but for me every time I watch it back what makes me laugh the most the bee bit the most slapstick old school comedy you could do It's the plant And this next one I'm really looking forward to because I can't remember any of it but I do remember it being very funny in my mind so I'm really looking forward to it My memory is the costume that's the biggest thing about it Yeah the offensive... Question one the retina and the optic nerve form part of which human organ? Shall I repeat the question? Aye Correct the eye Question two name the gaming console launched by nintendo in 2006. Oh it's a wee Correct Pentagon and hexagon are shapes with five and six sides but what is the prefix of an eight-sided shape? Och Correct octagon Can you name the process by which a beaver cuts through timber? Naw Correct Can you name a type of equine vocalization? Nae Correct Which 1950s tv series centered around a heroic dog starred American actress June Lockhart? Which lassie? Correct Lassie DVDs are divided into two major formats worldwide NTSC and what? Ah come on pal Correct NTSC and PAL Name Barbie's boyfriend Oh I ken that one Correct Action man... Which Welsh singer famously recorded Total Eclipse of the Heart? Oh it's that bonnie lass Correct Bonnie Tyler What is the name for an adult female chicken often kept for its eggs? I dinnae know Can I phone a friend? Certainly we're phoning Fern Hello Alright hen Correct What you want ya fanny? Final question for 500,000 pounds Who won the FIFA World Cup in 1966? Come on Duncan it's an easy one for 500,000 pounds Naw it's nae worth it Naw I'm out of here Doomdah Aw man that was great Great performance by you Finge as well Trying to write that with all the things Scottish people kinda half say Ach, aye and trying to work that back into questions we wrote it like in Scotland in a cafe just going we had been there for a month at this stage because we were writing a new show for the Edinburgh Fringe Festival you would be just walking down the street going What did they say? Was that... When you were trying to sell me that Lassie joke I was just like shaking my head I was like no way No way This next sketch is called... Bless me personal trainer for I have sinned Speak my child I had 18 pints of Guinness and a kebab Trainer? How did it happen? It was the bank holiday weekend it was supposed to be wholesome but Go on It was Friday night everything was going according to plan but then Terry text into the Whatsapp group a picture of A picture of a pint It just looked so beautiful You were tempted Yes trainer before I knew it I had 12 pints it was 4 a.m and I was in the chipper ordering garlic Garlic cheesy chips Yes We've been here before haven't we? Yes trainer Well then what happened? When we got home I don't want to say Anything we say in here will not be shared anywhere else on Instagram I ate an entire Doctor Oetker meat feast extra-large pizza With friends? No Thin crust? Stuffed You have sinned my child I feel terrible Well that's good You feel remorse No the hangover it's awful How was the rest of the weekend? I just stayed on the couch for the next two days How many steps? I'm ashamed to say How many steps? Six or seven Six or seven? Is that even enough to get to the toilet? Not really Any shakes? I could barely hold my phone Protein shakes Oh No If you don't change your ways my child you will be judged along with everyone else on the final day of this six-week program Yes trainer I will I know that there's a plan for me Yes there is a plan for everyone in the gym it's just part of the membership so I struggled to stick to it For your penance give me 10 burpees 15 crunches and 25 minutes on the treadmill Cardio and in the meantime work on your inner strength My core? Yes your core Go now and I'll see you on Sunday at 11am along with the rest of the spinning congregation Thank you trainer Bless me trainer for I have sinned I've been cheating on my partner Go on I say I've done ten reps when I've only done nine Very good bit at the end there I thought Oh yeah he was great whoever that actor was This next sketch was actually mostly me if not entirely me So I'd skip over this next bit? It made into the top 10? I wrote the top 10 Murica Welcome to the US Embassy Patrick Cheers Fair play thanks for having me There have been some discrepancies with your forms so we've had to ask you in just to clear up some of those answers Oh cool For your mother's name you just put down 'Mam'? Yeah that's me Mam But what's her name? Mam? Her given name at birth was Mam? Oh Right that I think it could be like Sheila or Una I've only ever called her Mam Emergency contact number? 999 No I mean in case of emergency Whilst in the United States 9-1-1 No next of kin contact a parent or guardian Oh don't be calling my parents in an emergency Sure they would go mad Do you have any relatives in the United States? I don't know them but there's a bunch of losers on Ancestry.com who keep emailing me saying I'm their third cousin Your contact in America is listed as John "The Fridge" Cullen? Yeah legend Why the fridge, does he work in refrigeration? Oh no he's just got a big chest and tiny legs The date you'll be entering the United States is? Paddy's Day The 17th of March When will you be leaving the United States? A sure you know yourself like I do not know Oh like no plans you know what I mean We will need a date Okay Christmas then Then you'll be overstaying your visa Oh so when should I leave then? You have to leave by April 7th Okay stick me down for that then and I'll do me best Will you be seeking employment whilst in the United States? Not officially What do you mean not officially? Like no but like Please answer yes or no to the following questions Cool Do you seek to engage in terrorist activity? sabotage or genocide? No way hosé Do you intend to commit espionage on behalf of a foreign power? Not a chance Just answer yes or no Have you ever violated any law related to possessing using or distributing illegal drugs? Pass You cannot pass Right Put 'no' then Have you ever been arrested or convicted for a crime that resulted in serious damage to property or serious harm to another person or government authority? No Why'd you say it like that? Oh write 'no' Well that's all the questions I have thank you for coming into the embassy Patrick your visa has been denied Ah Sure I'll just go to Canada so Cheers Doomdah So he went to Canada he didn't go to prison but unlike this next character The Snob So coming in at no. 4 is Well now haha Here we are the uh prison cafeteria Yes all the all the inmates gathered around breaking bread together the repartee between the vagabonds the furtive glances between the prison guards and the inmates who knows what'll happen indeed I have inquired about a south easterly facing cell the aspect don't you know and I haven't heard anything back how does one join a gang here? is it a lengthy process? do I need references? Indeed the hardest prison to escape is one's own mind although I may have found the perfect antidote the complete Bronte collection you can borrow mine whenever you like but you must promise that you highlight your favourite pros I've ruined my life You finishing that? No There is a gentleman on the floor above me who wishes to fight me I told him I do my talking on the chessboard The soup here lacks balance but the addition of small shavings of bone within the mincemeat offer an unusual an unexpected grittiness Yeah it's horrible It's foul Do you know the minimalist architecture within these walls does strike me as reminiscent of the Debon DeMarc gallery in Verona Yeah I'm trying to get out of here on good behaviour Yeah? Word on Block B is that you're a man who can acquire things as the saying goes Yeah A backgammon board a fondue set a full-bodied merlot now I know we're in prison so a malbec will be fine I do hope that the screws don't find my stash of stuffed olives or it will be five weeks in the hole for me I thought to pass the time how about we play a word association game? No I'll say a word and then you say the first word that comes into your head Red Sanguine Time Anachronistic I don't know Well it's easy you just say the first word that comes into your head Chocolate Blandishment I don't want to play anymore Capitulation No Cessation Stop it Desist Ahhhhh Ah the infamous prison shank No one saw anything need I ask? Did you know that I visited The Louvre on... Doomdah Do you know what's always nice? And I enjoy in a role is when there is something to eat that was great because I got to eat spaghetti for the whole sketch Sitting down as well you had both of those things and no lines it was beautiful a dream role The snob character is a fun character to play this next character was going for his dream role but it wasn't quite working out for him this is... Thank you very much for coming in No worries there's my resume, skills assessment forms, IQ tests, personality stuff Okay well we won't need any of that Oh really? No i can tell a person's perfect career just by looking at them Okay It's a gift Right well Used car salesman Used car salesman? Yeah it's perfect Okay was it the way i'm sitting or the way i came into the room or? No no it's much more subtle than that Okay It's the mustache The mustache? You have a perfect used car salesman mustache Okay you're recommending a future career for me based around the fact that i have a mustache? Well not just that no it's also the expensive yet cheap looking shirt Excuse me? You're the perfect used car salesman I don't want to be a car salesman Used car salesman Whatever i wanted to work with children you know i was thinking maybe teaching Oh not with that mustache no not since the 80s sadly yeah Well you can't just... Basketball coach You could be a basketball coach I don't know the first thing about basketball That's very surprising what with the um because of the mustache? Yes Can you just forget i have a mustache for a second please Okay well looking past the mustache Thank you I'm thinking hairdresser Hairdresser? Why hairdresser? Because of your car That's not a hairdresser's car That's a hairdresser's car You're recommending careers to me based on what i look like and what car i drive? Well that's not fair There's an awful lot of considerations that go into all of this Really? Yeah well your posture is perfect for someone in I.T Your handwriting is atrocious You'd make a wonderful doctor and you've rescheduled this appointment three times so obviously i'm thinking plumber or really anything within the trades Well they seem like ridiculous reasons to choose a career You tried it your way Okay and you've still ended up in here Oh what career am i gonna do? Oh i don't know i'm not sure i haven't figured it out yet You're in your mid 30s okay still haven't figured it out so it's time to try something different But i don't like any of the careers that you suggested That's fine we were just getting started okay Look we've got lots more you could be a truck driver or supermarket manager Because they have mustaches? They're mustache jobs Can you just drop the mustache thing please? okay fine all right look if you were maybe willing to grow a beard it would open some doors for you? Oh my God So you could have lumberjack? hipster barber? Rabbi? Rabbi Can you just forget about the whole facial hair thing please All right i'll try Um... Well i noticed you have quite a lot of dandruff on your shoulders Excuse me? Have you considered a career in the priesthood? Are you being funny with me? Bouncer I don't have time for this The civil service I want my money back Bank manager This conversation is over Ryanair customer service That's it I'm leaving My ex-wife Doomdah So we did a lot of immigration sketches during the year and this one is definitely the one that cop us the most heat I did an amazing job of the accent in this next sketch Yeah it's called... Before granting your entry to India you must first answer some simple questions Where do tourists spend most of their time in India? The toilet Correct Name the three main religions in India Hindu, Muslim and Cricket Correct When did British rule end in India? In 1947 and when did Indian rule begin in Britain? Just this week Correct India has a history of non-violent passive resistance protest What does it also have? 160 nuclear warheads Correct What do tourists often find when visiting India? Themselves Correct Where can you go to get finger food in India? Anywhere Where in India would you go to see a portrayal of an idealized vision of Indian life full of overacting and dramatic fight scenes The Indian Parliament Yes Name one of India's greatest treasures The English Crown Jewels How are actors in Bollywood movies selected? The caste system Indeed What poses the greatest challenge in India today? Probably the Lotus pose Yes very hard to tuck the feet in Which famous board game played on a grid and invented in India has captivated the world's greatest minds for centuries? Snakes and ladders Correct name the disputed region between India and Pakistan that causes riots and fatalities every year The wicket and finally who brought the world Chicken Tikka Masala? Scotland Yes for the last time okay congratulations gentlemen and welcome to India Oh okay well that was easy yeah Just some very simple forms to fill in Yeah sure... There you go All of them? Yes that's all of his ones and yours are on the way Domdah In at number one is War, death, bombs definitely a controversial topic but we tried to see the silliness in this situation Yeah And I think it kind of worked because there is a lot of silliness Yes we... Sensitive, sensitive area But I think we got there in terms of I think so doing something appropriate Well we hope we created some levity out of this dark one and that's probably why we are proud of this one Yeah that probably is it yeah that's true so in at no. 1 for 2022 is I'm not telling him you should tell him I'm not telling him You're the ranking officer I told him last time Alright Hammer Sickle Vodka Okay Hammer, Sickle, Vodka Awwww Good luck my friend No Hello Sergei No Yeah There has just been a few small changes Ahhhhhh Please no please How am I supposed to do my job if you cannot do yours? It is okay look we could just... all you need to do is change just rub that bit out there and then turn that line in on itself maybe and then that's all gone there there's less for you to do down here that that's that that's good so yes very good okay that's very good and this bit here is also gone so and all of that... Maybe it's better if you just start again? Start again yes yes It's easier Ahhhhhhhhh Hello Sergei What is it now? I will never finish I cannot work like this No you cannot You've been drafted No no I can't work like this I can do it! Doomdah Lady's and gentlemen hold onto your socks this is the final doomdah of 2022 Doomdah No no can't give up on the year it's been a good year I can't let it go...