[Script Info]
Title: 
[Events]
Format: Layer, Start, End, Style, Name, MarginL, MarginR, MarginV, Effect, Text
Dialogue: 0,0:00:00.03,0:00:02.60,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,[whispering] Exclusive!
Dialogue: 0,0:00:02.60,0:00:08.57,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,♪ ♪
Dialogue: 0,0:00:08.57,0:00:08.97,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Hello.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:08.97,0:00:13.60,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Uh, welcome to another episode\Nof Between Two Ferns.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:13.60,0:00:20.67,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I'm your host, Zack Galifinakis and\Nmy guest today is Char-lies Th-ron.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:20.67,0:00:22.70,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Charlize Theron.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:22.70,0:00:23.90,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,That's o--
Dialogue: 0,0:00:23.90,0:00:25.70,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,That's okay, everybody does that.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:25.70,0:00:27.20,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Charlize Th-ron,
Dialogue: 0,0:00:27.20,0:00:28.87,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Theron, like herron.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:28.87,0:00:29.50,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Theron.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:29.50,0:00:30.60,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Like heroin.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:30.60,0:00:31.87,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,No, just Theron.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:31.87,0:00:32.97,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Just throw it away.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:32.97,0:00:34.37,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So you were in Monsters Inc.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:34.37,0:00:35.40,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,
Dialogue: 0,0:00:35.40,0:00:37.77,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,[laughing]
Dialogue: 0,0:00:37.77,0:00:38.97,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,No.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:38.97,0:00:40.57,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Oh that's humorous.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:40.57,0:00:42.63,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Oh, you were in the movie Monster.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:42.63,0:00:44.50,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Monster, yeah, just Monster.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:44.50,0:00:46.17,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Did you win an Oscar for that?
Dialogue: 0,0:00:46.17,0:00:47.07,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I did.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:47.07,0:00:48.50,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Where's your Oscar statue?
Dialogue: 0,0:00:48.50,0:00:50.90,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It's in my house.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:50.90,0:00:53.43,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I think it'd be cool like if you hung\Nit from your like rearview mirror,
Dialogue: 0,0:00:53.43,0:00:54.37,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,in your car,
Dialogue: 0,0:00:54.37,0:00:55.50,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,with a high school tassel.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:55.50,0:00:56.90,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,[laughing]
Dialogue: 0,0:00:56.90,0:00:57.97,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Where did that come from?
Dialogue: 0,0:00:57.97,0:01:01.27,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,That just--that stuff just hangs out in your head?
Dialogue: 0,0:01:01.27,0:01:02.17,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,That's funny.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:02.17,0:01:03.97,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,[laughing]
Dialogue: 0,0:01:03.97,0:01:05.43,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Do you write it down?
Dialogue: 0,0:01:05.43,0:01:06.50,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You're really funny.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:06.50,0:01:07.43,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,
Dialogue: 0,0:01:07.43,0:01:08.47,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Just remember it.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:08.47,0:01:10.43,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,
Dialogue: 0,0:01:10.43,0:01:12.83,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So it says here you're a dog lover.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:12.83,0:01:13.70,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Yeah, very much.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:13.70,0:01:14.63,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Do you have a dog?
Dialogue: 0,0:01:14.63,0:01:15.53,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I have a few.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:15.53,0:01:20.23,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Yeah, I adopt them and I actually recently\Njust adopted one from the pound
Dialogue: 0,0:01:20.23,0:01:29.30,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and he actually has this really horrible disease \Ncalled leishmaniasis, and it's like a cancer.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:29.30,0:01:36.37,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So we're--he's on medication right\Nnow and we're--we hope he pulls through.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:36.37,0:01:38.50,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It's a pretty bad disease.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:38.50,0:01:40.57,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,They don't know that much\Nabout it here in America.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:40.57,0:01:41.90,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,We have a new sponsor.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:41.90,0:01:42.93,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Is this the camera?
Dialogue: 0,0:01:42.93,0:01:43.70,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Sorry. I just--
Dialogue: 0,0:01:43.70,0:01:45.20,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,
Dialogue: 0,0:01:45.20,0:01:47.23,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,We have a new sponsor of the show,
Dialogue: 0,0:01:47.23,0:01:48.20,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,We have a new sponsor of the show,
Dialogue: 0,0:01:48.20,0:01:50.33,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Need for Speed: Shift.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:50.33,0:01:51.40,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Which camera, this one?
Dialogue: 0,0:01:51.40,0:01:57.10,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,
Dialogue: 0,0:01:57.10,0:01:57.80,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Video game.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:57.80,0:02:00.23,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,
Dialogue: 0,0:02:00.23,0:02:01.03,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,What's his name?
Dialogue: 0,0:02:01.03,0:02:02.60,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,
Dialogue: 0,0:02:02.60,0:02:04.77,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Old boy.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:04.77,0:02:06.67,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Old boy?
Dialogue: 0,0:02:06.67,0:02:08.43,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Like uh--
Dialogue: 0,0:02:08.43,0:02:10.23,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Oh boy wish my dog wasn't sick?
Dialogue: 0,0:02:10.23,0:02:11.70,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,
Dialogue: 0,0:02:11.70,0:02:14.27,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,[chuckling]
Dialogue: 0,0:02:14.27,0:02:15.20,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Um--
Dialogue: 0,0:02:15.20,0:02:16.13,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,[chuckling]
Dialogue: 0,0:02:16.13,0:02:16.67,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You okay?
Dialogue: 0,0:02:16.67,0:02:17.33,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Because of the dog?
Dialogue: 0,0:02:17.33,0:02:19.77,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,No, I'm fine, don't worry about it.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:19.77,0:02:21.17,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You're sweet for asking though.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:21.17,0:02:25.13,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,
Dialogue: 0,0:02:25.13,0:02:29.100,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,What was your--um--how often\Ndo you go back to South Africa?
Dialogue: 0,0:02:30.00,0:02:32.23,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I go quite a bit, you know.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:32.23,0:02:32.90,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Have you been?
Dialogue: 0,0:02:32.90,0:02:33.57,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Yes.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:33.57,0:02:37.27,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And did you go alone, or\Ndid you go with a girlfriend?
Dialogue: 0,0:02:37.27,0:02:38.03,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Or a--
Dialogue: 0,0:02:38.03,0:02:40.23,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,
Dialogue: 0,0:02:40.23,0:02:40.67,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Uhh--
Dialogue: 0,0:02:40.67,0:02:41.27,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Alone?
Dialogue: 0,0:02:41.27,0:02:41.100,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I've--
Dialogue: 0,0:02:42.00,0:02:42.60,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I have a--
Dialogue: 0,0:02:42.60,0:02:43.43,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I have a girlfriend.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:43.43,0:02:45.20,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,
Dialogue: 0,0:02:45.20,0:02:46.07,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,That's great.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:46.07,0:02:47.100,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,
Dialogue: 0,0:02:48.00,0:02:49.13,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,She looks a little bit like you.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:49.13,0:02:50.07,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,
Dialogue: 0,0:02:50.07,0:02:50.43,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Real--
Dialogue: 0,0:02:50.43,0:02:51.43,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Oh wow.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:51.43,0:02:52.97,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,That's such a nice compliment.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:52.97,0:02:53.60,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Thank you.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:53.60,0:02:55.60,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And a lot like Dog the Bounty Hunter.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:55.60,0:02:56.60,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,
Dialogue: 0,0:02:56.60,0:02:57.73,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,[laughing]
Dialogue: 0,0:02:57.73,0:02:59.03,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,That's funny.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:59.03,0:03:01.83,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,[laughing]
Dialogue: 0,0:03:01.83,0:03:03.100,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You must make her laugh all the time.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:04.00,0:03:06.20,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,
Dialogue: 0,0:03:06.20,0:03:07.33,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It's warm in here.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:07.33,0:03:08.47,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,
Dialogue: 0,0:03:08.47,0:03:10.57,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Don't, don't put this on camera.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:10.57,0:03:12.97,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Come her--
Dialogue: 0,0:03:12.97,0:03:15.70,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,My thighs are so \Nsweaty right now.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:15.70,0:03:19.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It's like dripping all the way\Ndown to the back of my knees.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:19.00,0:03:20.90,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Look at this.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:20.90,0:03:25.10,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I think the only thing that could cool me\Noff right now is jumping naked into a pool.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:25.10,0:03:28.23,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It's so fucking hot.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:28.23,0:03:28.57,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,What--
Dialogue: 0,0:03:28.57,0:03:30.17,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Are you--
Dialogue: 0,0:03:30.17,0:03:31.80,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Are you asking me to go with you?
Dialogue: 0,0:03:31.80,0:03:33.57,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,
Dialogue: 0,0:03:33.57,0:03:34.17,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Where?
Dialogue: 0,0:03:34.17,0:03:37.03,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,
Dialogue: 0,0:03:37.03,0:03:38.10,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The naked pool.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:38.10,0:03:40.23,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,
Dialogue: 0,0:03:40.23,0:03:45.37,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,[laughing]
Dialogue: 0,0:03:45.37,0:03:47.43,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Oh my God!
Dialogue: 0,0:03:47.43,0:03:49.40,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You are hilarious!
Dialogue: 0,0:03:49.40,0:03:50.33,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I wasn't joking.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:50.33,0:03:51.93,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You know how you made it really funny?
Dialogue: 0,0:03:51.93,0:04:01.03,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Is because the image of me and you, like, like, me \Nnaked in a pool with like a fat garden gnome, like--
Dialogue: 0,0:04:01.03,0:04:02.100,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,[laughing].
Dialogue: 0,0:04:03.00,0:04:04.73,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,That's like really good!
Dialogue: 0,0:04:04.73,0:04:06.30,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You are really good!
Dialogue: 0,0:04:06.30,0:04:08.13,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You are really good.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:08.13,0:04:09.70,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I hope your dog dies.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:09.70,0:04:14.37,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,[laughing]
Dialogue: 0,0:04:14.37,0:04:15.97,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I just pissed myself.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:15.97,0:04:18.33,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,♪ ♪