Welcome back to the second channel, everybody,
we've got a crazy video today.
I'm gonna crack open a nice sparkling water
(crack, pop, fizz)
AH!
FUCK!
Got on my keyboard, that's very cool.
I didn't even get the cap off, by the way,
it's still on and it's just sprayed out like that.
That's very cool.
Okay.
Hope I didn't just totally destroy my keyboard.
Let me go get a towel real quick.
(cartoon running sound effect)
And I'll just toss this over there.
(wet slapping noise)
Ah, damn.
And I'll open the rest of this lid.
(electronic rave music)
Alright.
Alright, today we're gonna be talking about
these weird ass articles
that these companies write about Youtubers.
I did a video on my main channel like, a long time ago
about these articles, but
since then I feel like they've gotten even worse.
Companies like this, whatever wiki website this is,
will try to like, write an article
with anything that you might search about someone
so, "Danny Gonzalez Wife, Age, Net Worth, Married."
It's got "wife" and "married" in the same thing, like,
"Sure, we know he has a wife, but are they married?"
They'll try to like, compile all of these things into an article,
that way if you google, like, "Danny Gonzalez age"
this comes up.
But they'll also try to like fill it with information that, I--
they don't know.
Cause they'll just make shit up.
And what I think has happened over the years
is that one article will kind of, like, overexaggerate how much they know,
and then another article will take info from THAT article
and then they'll fudge a little bit more,
and it's just this like snowballing effect to now, like,
these articles have, just, shit that is nowhere near true.
Especially the second article we're gonna be talking about.
I've got two articles here,
one of them someone tweeted at me,
and then some-- another one was in the subreddit.
So thank you guys for sharing these.
But it is pretty bizarre.
Really, I'm getting on here to set the record straight,
because there's a lot of false information being spread about me.
And I guess I gotta correct the record, alright?
So this one's on this website called Wiki.
Let's take a look.
Danny Gonzalez was born in Illinois, USA, on June 12th, 1994.
That beautiful city Illinois, USA.
His zodiac sign is Gemini and he holds American nationality.
Okay, so far we're doing pretty good.
Here's where things start to go a little bit awry.
Danny was raised an only child--
(thud sound) Not true.
in Illinois by his Mexican parents--
(thud sound) Not true.
I do have a quarter Mexican in me,
but it's just on my dad's side, so
I would not call my parents my "Mexican parents."
Who were both in the real estate business--
I don't know where the fuck they got that from.
I don't think I've ever talked about what my parents do for a living
in any of my videos.
So I don't know if they're just making that up
or they, like, misinterpreted something I said one time,
like my-- if I said like I have--
my parents own a house?
And they were like,
"Oh! So they're in the real estate business."
I guess technically true.
They have one investment property.
It's where they live.
At the age of thirteen, he moved with his family
to Atlanta, Georgia and enrolled at a high school there.
(thud sound) Not true.
This is something I've seen before in other articles,
so I'm assuming they got it from those,
but they were wrong and so is this one.
People who write this article, if you're watching this,
listen up, alright?
I'm gonna te-- I'm gonna set the record straight.
I did not move to Atlanta in high school.
I did live in Atlanta.
But it was for college.
I lived in Illinois until I went to college.
You know what I think it is?
As much as it upsets me to say this,
maybe I said in a video years ago that I live in Atlanta
and they were like,
"Okay, this guy looks thirteen, and he lives in Atlanta.
So that's when he moved to Georgia."
But really I was in college and I just looked thirteen.
That's like, the only guess I have, is that they just kind of like,
mis-aged me,
and were like, "Yeah, you're thirteen.
And you go to high school in Atlanta." (laughs)
Danny became interested in social media networks
while attending high school,
as most of his friends were active on social networks such as Vine, Facebook, and Instagram.
Vine didn't come out until I was in college, actually.
These are things that you could just Google.
What if I just google,
How old was Danny in June 2012?
Guess I should specify that. Danny Gonzalez.
I don't--
Little vain of me to think that that would come up.
His birthday was in June of 1994.
So he was 18 in June of 2012. He had just graduated high school.
Not that freakin' hard to figure out.
He was physically active, as he played soccer, football,
and was also a member of his high school's drama club.
This is so freakin'...
strange.
Maybe if you search "Danny Gonzalez"
like, a picture of somebody playing soccer comes up?
I did not play soccer in high school.
I did not play football in high school.
Not seeing anybody playing soccer.
This guy looks pretty strong.
Maybe they saw this,
thought this was me,
and were like, "How did he get so strong?"
Oh wait! Lookit!
Ohhh shit.
Do you think they scrolled down all the way to here,
saw this picture of a guy that's clearly not me,
and thought to themselves,
"Ohhhh. He played soccer in high school. Very cool."
Okay, so, I played soccer and football--
Honestly, my life sounds way cooler in this article than it does in real life.
I was like the new kid in high school in the big city of Atlanta,
I was the star of the football and soccer team.
Danny matriculated in 2012--
Okay, so they DO know when I matric--
They know when I graduated.
I'm assuming that's what "matriculated" means.
To be enrolled at a college or university.
So what they're saying is,
"Danny enrolled in 2012, and then enrolled in Georgia Tech."
So they know when I started college, then.
So they know that Vine didn't exist
if they had just like, taken one second to think about it.
Danny launched his career on the Internet while attending high school
as his Vine account numbered more than 2 million followers.
Dude, the words they use in this article are kind of impressive though.
"Matriculated."
The next sentence says,
"He launched his eh--
Ep--
Eh-PONY-miss Youtube Channel.
Ee-PONY-miss.
Eponymous?
It's got the word "pony" in there.
"He launched his pony-themed Youtube channel on September 9th, 2014,
and has since gathered more than 4.1 million subscribers.
Okay, they wrote this article a little while ago.
What is epi-- "epinomous" mean?
It means,
"Giving their name to something."
Okay, so it's like my self-titled Youtube channel.
Danny's love life, is he married?
Okay, there's a bunch of weird shit in here too, I remember.
Oh yeah.
Laura is a dancer and photographer,
whose Instagram account is followed by over 5,000 people.
Again, they're making shit up for Laura, too!
I don't know where they found, like, I-- okay,
she has an Instagram?
So that makes her a photographer?
And maybe she--
No, she's never danced. On anything.
So I don't know where they got that.
I like how I said she's NEVER danced.
(rock music playing) "She's-- she's NEVER danced.
Laura doesn't know how to dance, alright?
She's got two left feet.
Literally. (sad piano music)
She has this weird condition where both of her feet are left feet.
She's never danced.
She is also said to be a model.
She's not one, but everyone says so.
Hobbies and interests.
Alright, before I even read this part of the article,
I'm gonna say what, like, my actual hobbies and interests are,
and then we will see how closely it lines up with
what is in the article.
Okay?
Hobbies and interests.
I like to...
uh, produce music.
That's one of my biggest hobbies.
I like playing guitar.
Interests?
I like Star Wars a lot.
That's like one of my big, like, movie franchises that I'm into.
What other hobbies do I have?
I've got friends that live in cool locations,
so I like to go visit friends.
And, honestly, making videos is kind of a hobby as well.
Okay.
Danny is keen on traveling and has been to several US states.
Okay, so I did say that I like to go visit friends.
I like that they say I really like traveling
because I've been to several US states. (sparkling sound)
(wholesome guitar music) "Danny has been to more than one state in his life,
so I guess you could say he's kind of a world traveler.
He's explored exotic cultures such as
Colorado and Wisconsin."
While he prefers to be in nature surrounded by trees and animals--
I feel like that's taking some liberties.
I'm trying to figure out
if I've ever posted like, a picture of me in the middle of the woods
surrounded by animals like I'm in Snow White.
Okay, there's a-- there's a picture from August of 2020
of me in a field of sunflowers.
And there's a picture of me in an apple orchard with Laura.
Okay. No, you know what?
From what I've posted on social media,
the nature thing makes sense.
I've got some pictures of me in natural locations.
None surrounded by animals.
I'm trying to think if I've ever been, like, in a--
surrounded by a pack of hungry wolves and like taken a quick picture.
(wolves howling) I love it here.
This rules. I prefer this over the big city any day.
He likes to dress up and attend cosplay events.
I don't think I've ever been to a cosplay event
in my whole life.
I don't know where they got that from.
So there's this picture of me in a grape costume
that was for, actually it was cause
we went to a filming, a taping of, uh, a game show.
What's it, what was it called...
Let's Make A Deal. (ding)
Um, which Laura was actually on.
And she actually got to talk to Wayne Brady.
So if you can find this episode,
you can see me and Laura dressed as grapes.
And there's the picture of me dressed as Kuzco for Halloween, so.
I guess that's where they got me attending cosplay events?
"Danny likes to dress up as grapes
and go to grape cosplaying events.
You ever heard of Fruit Con?
Everybody dresses up as their favorite fruit.
They have panels where you can listen to grapefruits
talk about what it's like in the industry."
Danny is a lover of animals but doesn't have a pet
because he would lack time to take proper care of it.
That's kinda fucked up.
(whimsical, cheekt music) "Danny doesn't have a pet
cause he wouldn't--
he's la-- he wouldn't take time
to take care of it.
So he can't do that."
I actually do have a pet.
I have three, so.
Fuck you.
And I don't take care of any of them.
I haven't seen them in WEEKS, so.
I guess I don't really know if I have pets anymore, because
I haven't seen them.
But I did at one time.
That's kinda mean.
I definitely post pictures of Sundae all the time,
and when I had Peanut I posted pictures of her all the time.
And Laura has two guinea pigs, so.
Don't know where they're getting that.
I could have even more pets, dude.
I'm gonna adopt three more dogs just to prove them wrong.
Oh wait, I missed this part.
He is quite physically active
and he occasionally plays basketball and soccer with his friends
and also has several training sessions at the gym each week.
Well, that's kinda nice.
They think I'm strong?
I don't play basketball or soccer.
I do go to the gym sometimes, so.
Glad it's finally paying off (rock music plays)
and wiki dot...
whatever this website is is finally taking notice.
Anyway, that's pretty much the end of the article.
They do get my favorite movies totally wrong.
They say my favorite movies are
Pulp Fiction, Fight Club, and The Godfather.
I've never seen two of those.
And they say my favorite actors are Bruce Willis and John Travolta,
when, to be honest,
I don't give a shit about them.
Bruce Willis and John Travolta aren't even close to my favorite actors, alright?
Actually I don't even think I have a favorite actor, but
it's ANYONE but these two. (kids saying "ew" sound)
That was the first article.
This one is INSANE.
I actually haven't read any of this article
except for just the one snippet
that somebody posted in my subreddit.
So I only know that that one part is insane.
So maybe the rest of it is perfectly normal
and then there's just one huge glaring issue.
We will find out.
This website is called
Hollywood ZAM.
Hollywood zam, zaddy.
Danny Gonzalez is an internet celebrity
and actor from Wheaton, Illinois.
Ooh, they put actor in there, that's cool.
These articles really do make my life sound cooler than it is.
I'm playing basketball and soccer all the time,
I'm an Actor.
I'm a Youtuber, musician, Twitch streamer,
media face--
What is "media face?"
It sounds like another word for like, spokesperson or something.
I'm the media face for...
uh,
I don't know.
Kohl's.
And they just put my face on all of the media that they have.
Every commercial is just
my face. (woman voiceover) Kohl's cash!
He is well known throughout the country
for his outstanding Youtube videos.
Thank you!
Danny was born in Wheaton, Illinois in the United States.
He has claimed to be residing in the United States.
Danny will be 27 years old in 2021.
This is all good so far.
After finishing elementary school
he went to Wheaton North High School.
I did go to middle school in between there,
but thanks for assuming, I guess,
that I skipped three years
and went straight from fifth grade to being a freshman in high school.
"Yeah, I was sort of a whiz kid.
Started high school when I was 10."
His eyes are a gorgeous warm blue.
Blue can't be warm.
Blue is a cold color!
You can't make blue warm.
How can you have a warm blue?
I'm gonna google "warm blue."
WARM blue.
Doesn't look warm to me.
"Danny's eyes are warm blue,
and what we mean by that are that
his irises are blue,
but then the white parts of his eyes
are actually RED. (sizzling sound, rock music)
They're red hot.
They're actually hot to the touch,
and he gets third degree burns every time he blinks.
It is a serious medical condition
and they are gorgeous. (ding sound, crowds cheering)
His chest, waist, and hip dimensions,
as well as his dress size, shoe and biceps,
are all unknown.
This website is kind of making me sound cool and mysterious.
"Scientists are still trying to figure out
what his chest and waist dimensions are.
Our best scientists are on the case
and they still haven't been able to figure it out.
And all those dresses he wears?
We can't figure out what size those are."
Gonzalez and his family live a comfortable life.
He frequently sends pictures of his home to his admirers.
Have I ever posted a picture of my house on social media?
Probably like the inside of my house.
Am I frequently sending pictures of my home to my admirers?
That makes it sound like I'm, like,
taking a picture and printing it out,
putting it in an envelope and like, sending it to my fans,
it's just a picture of like, my kitchen.
Could be some pretty tight merch, actually.
Fifty bucks? Anyone?
I'll mail you a picture of my "gar-age"?
Let me tell you that his home is furnished
with some great sofas, lamps, kitchen equipment, and other items.
First off, I love that the artic--
like, the author of this article has remained very, like, unbiased
and like, speaking in the third person
until they get to my home and they're like,
(cheeky music) "Let me give you the scoop.
I gotta tell you about his house.
Straight from me to you.
He's got some great sofas. He's got phenomenal lamps.
(crowd cheering)
Look at that shit."
His home has a white color design throughout.
That's called,
"We're too scared to hang up art or anything on our walls
cause we-- we're afraid we don't-- we won't like it,
so all of our walls are bare."
Danny is an actor, writer, and director
according to his IMDB profile.
What?
Do I have an IMDB profile?
Danny Gonzalez IMDB.
Danny Gonzalez is known for his work on Camp Unplug--
Ohhhh.
Danny Gonzalez: Help Let Me Go.
Is that-- why is that a movie?
Someone put "Help Let Me Go" on IMDB as a movie?
Who did this?
Don't you have to have, like, a paid membership on IMDB
to edit stuff like this?
And it's got ratings!
Honestly, really good. Nine and half stars, goddamn!
Critics are loving it, dude.
I wanna see this movie.
What is the synopsis?
The adventures of a radioactive dolphin man
and his crime-fighting sidekick.
And they put me as the
writer and director of this movie. And star.
So I guess that's why, uh, this article thinks
that I'm a writer, director, and actor.
And I guess I was also a director in Danny Gonzalez.
Is this like my Youtube--
okay, yeah, it's my just Youtube channel. Has an IMDB page too.
Okay, cool.
Gonzalez has an incredible voice and vocal tone as a singer.
Thank you guys, goddamn!
Okay. Alright.
This is the insane part. Are you ready for this?
This is the part that someone posted on my subreddit and I was like,
"Holy shit. What the--
What the hell and what the F?"
Relationship status: married or single?
Danny Gonzalez is a gifted and inquisitive person.
Doesn't have anything to do with my relationship status.
"You're wondering if Danny's single?
Well, he's actually pretty inquisitive. (thoughtful piano music)
He's a curious fellow. Does that answer your question?"
Acoording to sources, he has been in a relationship with Laura.
They attended the same high school and frequently interacted.
That's true.
While dating we did interact pretty frequently, I would say.
There was some near-constant interaction, actually.
They had been together for quite some time.
They got married, okay.
Here's the crazy shit, ready?
Laura Gonzalez, according to some accounts,
DIED on August 30, 2021,
for unexplained reasons.
(echoing) HUH?????
You're just gonna fucking make up that my wife died?
What the hell?
Who said that?
I wanna know.
This is where it just gets way too creepy for me.
Like that's weird for them to say.
Yeah, they literally just, like, made up that my wife died
and were like,
"We can put that in the article.
According to SOME sources.
(whispering) Us. We're the--
it's us. We're the sources. We made it up.
She died.
For unexplained reasons.
The reasons have been unexplained because the sources, (us)
have not explained it.
And we won't."
Just so everyone knows, Laura's fine, alright?
We just went to the Tyler the Creator concert this week.
So there's us at the Tyler the Creator concert
That picture is Real.
And my wife is Alive.
Anyways, uh,
I guess those are the two articles I wanna talk about.
Let's see if there's anything else here that we wanna look at.
These 2 vegetables will kill your belly fat,
a teaspoon on an empty stomach burns 12 pounds of fat,
Lot of fat loss stuff here.
Not sure...
what that's about.
Anyway. Moral of the story:
(rock music) quit making shit up about me, articles!
Honestly, like...
can I sue them?
I don't know.
Nah, I probably couldn't sue them.
But I could review my legal options.
(rock music begins again) Articles, quit making shit up about me
or I'm gonna review my legal options, alright?
In fact, I already am.
In my head, I'm reviewing them right now.
And, uh, it's not looking good for you guys.
So quit making shit up,
keep my name out of your goddamn mouth, actually
and, uh,
if you want info about me, just ask, alright?
I just made a whole ass video where I just
talked about nothing but my life.
So I'm an open book.
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Alright, well, thank you guys for watching.
Bye.