WEBVTT

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Welcome back to the
second channel, everybody,

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we've got a crazy video today.

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I'm gonna crack open a nice
sparkling water

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(crack, pop, fizz)

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AH!

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FUCK!

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Got on my keyboard, that's very cool.

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I didn't even get the cap off,
by the way,

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it's still on and it's just sprayed out
like that.

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That's very cool.

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Okay.

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Hope I didn't just totally
destroy my keyboard.

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Let me go get a towel real quick.

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(cartoon running sound effect)

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And I'll just toss this over there.

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(wet slapping noise)

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Ah, damn.

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And I'll open the rest of this lid.

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(electronic rave music)

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Alright.

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Alright, today we're gonna
be talking about

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these weird ass articles

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that these companies
write about Youtubers.

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I did a video on my main channel
like, a long time ago

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about these articles, but

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since then I feel like they've gotten
even worse.

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Companies like this, whatever wiki
website this is,

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will try to like, write an article

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with anything that you might
search about someone

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so, "Danny Gonzalez Wife, Age,
Net Worth, Married."

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It's got "wife" and "married"
in the same thing, like,

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"Sure, we know he has a wife,
but are they married?"

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They'll try to like, compile all
of these things into an article,

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that way if you google, like,
"Danny Gonzalez age"

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this comes up.

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But they'll also try to like fill it
with information that, I--

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they don't know.

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Cause they'll just make shit up.

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And what I think has happened
over the years

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is that one article will kind of, like,
overexaggerate how much they know,

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and then another article will take info
from THAT article

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and then they'll fudge a little bit more,

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and it's just this like snowballing effect
to now, like,

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these articles have, just,
shit that is nowhere near true.

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Especially the second article
we're gonna be talking about.

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I've got two articles here,

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one of them someone tweeted at me,

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and then some-- another one was
in the subreddit.

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So thank you guys for sharing these.

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But it is pretty bizarre.

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Really, I'm getting on here
to set the record straight,

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because there's a lot of false
information being spread about me.

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And I guess I gotta correct
the record, alright?

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So this one's on this
website called Wiki.

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Let's take a look.

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Danny Gonzalez was born in
Illinois, USA, on June 12th, 1994.

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That beautiful city Illinois, USA.

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His zodiac sign is Gemini and he holds
American nationality.

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Okay, so far we're doing pretty good.

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Here's where things start
to go a little bit awry.

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Danny was raised an only child--

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(thud sound)
Not true.

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in Illinois by his Mexican parents--

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(thud sound)
Not true.

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I do have a quarter Mexican in me,

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but it's just on my dad's side, so

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I would not call my parents
my Mexican parents.

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Who were both in the
real estate business--

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I don't know where the
fuck they got that from.

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I don't think I've ever talked
about what my parents do for a living

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in any of my videos.

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So I don't know if they're
just making that up

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or they, like, misinterpreted
something I said one time,

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like my-- if I said like I have--

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my parents own a house?

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And they were like,

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"Oh! So they're in the
real estate business."

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I guess technically true.

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They have one investment property.

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It's where they live.

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At the age of thirteen, he moved
with his family

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to Atlanta, Georgia and
enrolled at a high school there.

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(thud sound)
Not true.

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This is something I've seen before
in other articles,

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so I'm assuming they got it from those,

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but they were wrong and so is this one.

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People who write this article,
if you're watching this,

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listen up, alright?

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I'm gonna te--
I'm gonna set the record straight.

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I did not move to Atlanta in high school.

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I did live in Atlanta.

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But it was for college.

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I lived in Illinois until
I went to college.

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You know what I think it is?

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As much as it upsets me to say this,

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maybe I said in a video years ago
that I live in Atlanta

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and they were like,

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"Okay, this guy looks thirteen,
and he lives in Atlanta.

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So that's when he moved to Georgia."

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But really I was in college
and I just looked thirteen.

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That's like, the only guess I have,
is that they just kind of like,

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mis-aged me,

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and were like, "Yeah, you're thirteen.

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And you go to high school in Atlanta."
(laughs)

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Danny became interested
in social media networks

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while attending high school,

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as most of his friends were active on social networks
such as Vine, Facebook, and Instagram.

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Vine didn't come out
until I was in college, actually.

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These are things that
you could just Google.

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What if I just google,

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How old was Danny in June 2012?

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Guess I should specify that.
Danny Gonzalez.

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I don't--

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Little vain of me to think
that that would come up.

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His birthday was in June of 1994.

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So he was 18 in June of 2012.
He had just graduated high school.

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Not that freakin' hard to figure out.

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He was physically active, as he played
soccer, football,

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and was also a member 
of his high school's drama club.

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This is so freakin'...

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strange.

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Maybe if you search "Danny Gonzalez"

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like, a picture of somebody
playing soccer comes up?

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I did not play soccer in high school.

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I did not play football in high school.

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Not seeing anybody playing soccer.

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This guy looks pretty strong.

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Maybe they saw this,

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thought this was me,

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and were like, "How did he get so strong?"

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Oh wait! Lookit!

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Ohhh shit.

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Do you think they scrolled
down all the way to here,

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saw this picture of a guy
that's clearly not me,

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and thought to themselves,

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"Ohhhh. He played soccer in
high school. Very cool."

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Okay, so, I played soccer and football--

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Honestly, my life sounds way cooler
in this article than it does in real life.

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I was like the new kid in high school
in the big city of Atlanta,

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I was the star of the
football and soccer team.

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Danny matriculated in 2012--

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Okay, so they DO know when I matriculated.

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They know when I graduated.

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I'm assuming that's
what "matriculated" means.

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To be enrolled at a college or university.

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So what they're saying is,

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"Danny enrolled in 2012, and
then enrolled in Georgia Tech."

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So they know when I started college, then.

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So they know that Vine didn't exist

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if they had just like, taken
one second to think about it.

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Danny launched his career on the Internet
while attending high school

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as his Vine account numbered
more than 2 million followers.

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Dude, the words they use in this
article are kind of impressive though.

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"Matriculated."

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The next sentence says,

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"He launched his eh--

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Ep--

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Eh-PONY-miss Youtube Channel.

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Ee-pony-miss.

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Eponymous?

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It's got the word "pony" in there.

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"He launched his pony-themed
Youtube channel on September 9th, 2014,

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and has since gathered more
than 4.1 million subscribers.

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Okay, they wrote this
article a little while ago.

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What is epi-- "epinomous" mean?

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It means,

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"Give their name to something."

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Okay, so it's like my
self-titled Youtube channel.

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Danny's love life, is he married?

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Okay, there's a bunch of
weird shit in here too, I remember.

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Oh yeah.

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Laura is a dancer and photographer,

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whose Instagram account is
followed by over 5,000 people.

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Again, they're making
shit up for Laura, too!

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I don't know where they found, like,
I-- okay,

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she has an Instagram?

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So that makes her a photographer?

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And maybe she--

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No, she's never danced. On anything.

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So I don't know where they got that.

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I like how I said she's NEVER danced.

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"She's-- she's NEVER danced.

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Laura doesn't know how to dance, alright?

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She's got two left feet.

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Literally. She's got this weird condition
where both of her feet are left feet.

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She's never danced.

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She is also said to be a model.

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She's not one, but everyone says so.

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Hobbies and interests.

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Alright, before I even read
this part of the article,

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I'm gonna say what my actual
hobbies and interests are,

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and then we will see how
closely it lines up with

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what is in the article.

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Okay?

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Hobbies and interests.

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I like to...

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uh, produce music.

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That's one of my biggest hobbies.

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I like playing guitar.

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Interests?

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I like Star Wars a lot.

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That's like one of my big, like,
movie franchises that I'm into.

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What other hobbies do I have?

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I've got friends that
live in cool locations,

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so I like to go visit friends.

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And, honestly, making videos is
kind of a hobby as well.

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Okay.

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Danny is keen on traveling and
has been to several US states.

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Okay, so I did say that
I like to go visit friends.

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I like that they say
I really like traveling

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because I've been to several US states.
(sparkling sound)

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"Danny has been to more
than one state in his life,

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so I guess you could say
he's kind of a world traveler.

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He's explored exotic cultures such as

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Colorado and Wisconsin."

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While he prefers to be in nature
surrounded by trees and animals--

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I feel like that's taking some liberties.

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I'm trying to figure out

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if I've ever posted a picture
in the middle of the woods

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surrounded by animals like
I'm in Snow White.

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Okay, there's a-- there's a picture
from August of 2020

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of me in a field of sunflowers.

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And there's a picture of me
in an apple orchard with Laura.

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Okay. You know what?

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
From what I've posted on social media,

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the nature thing makes sense.

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I've got some pictures of
me in natural locations.

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None surrounded by animals.

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I'm trying to think if
I've ever been in a--

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surrounded by a pack of hungry wolves
and like taken a quick picture.

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(wolves howling)
I love it here.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
This rules. I prefer this over
the big city any day.

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He likes to dress up
and attend cosplay events.

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I don't think I've ever
been to a cosplay event

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in my whole life.

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I don't know where they got that from.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
So there's this picture of
me in a grape costume

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that was for, actually it was cause

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we went to a filming, a taping
of, uh, a game show.

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What's it, what was it called...

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Let's Make A Deal.
(ding)

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Which Laura was actually on.

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And she actually got to
talk to Wayne Brady.

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So if you can find this episode,

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you can see me and
Laura dressed as grapes.

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And there's the picture of me
dressed as Kuzco for Halloween, so.

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I guess that's where they got
me attending cosplay events?

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"Danny likes to dress up as grapes

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and go to grape cosplaying events.

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You ever heard of Fruit Con?

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Everybody dresses up
as their favorite fruit.

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They have panels where
you can listen to grapefruits

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talk about what it's
like in the industry."

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Danny is a lover of animals
but doesn't have a pet

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because he would lack time
to take proper care of it.

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That's kinda fucked up.

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"Danny doesn't have a pet
cause he wouldn't--

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he's la-- he wouldn't take time

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to take care of it.

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So he can't do that."

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I actually do have a pet.

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I have three, so.

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Fuck you.

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And I don't take care of any of them.

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I haven't seen them in WEEKS, so.

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I guess I don't really know
if I have pets anymore, because

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I haven't seen them.

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But I did at one time.

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That's kinda mean.

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I definitely post pictures of
Sundae all the time,

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and when I had Peanut
I posted pictures of her all the time.

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And Laura has two guinea pigs, so.

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Don't know where they're getting that.

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I could have even more pets, dude.

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I'm gonna adopt three more dogs
just to prove them wrong.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Oh wait, I missed this part.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
He is quite physically active

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
and he occasionally plays basketball
and soccer with his friends

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
and also has several training
sessions at the gym each week.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Well, that's kinda nice.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
They think I'm strong?

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
I don't play basketball or soccer.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
I do go to the gym sometimes, so.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Glad it's finally paying off
(rock music plays)

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
and wiki dot...

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
whatever this website is
is finally taking notice.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Anyway, that's pretty much
the end of the article.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
They do get my favorite
movies totally wrong.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
They say my favorite movies are

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Pulp Fiction, Fight Club,
and The Godfather.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
I've never seen two of those.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
And they say my favorite actors are
Bruce Willis and John Travolta,

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
when, to be honest,

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
I don't give a shit about them.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Bruce Willis and John Travolta aren't
even close to my favorite actors, alright?

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Actually I don't even think
I have a favorite actor, but

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
it's ANYONE but these two.
(kids saying "ew" sound)

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
That was the first article.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
This one is INSANE.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
I actually haven't read
any of this article

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
except for just the one snippet

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
that somebody posted in my subreddit.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
So I only know that
that one part is insane.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
So maybe the rest of
it is perfectly normal

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
and then there's just
one huge glaring issue.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
We will find out.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
This website is called

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Hollywood ZAM.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Hollywood zam, zaddy.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Danny Gonzalez is an internet celebrity

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
and actor from Wheaton, Illinois.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Ooh, they put actor in there, that's cool.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
These articles really do make
my life sound cooler than it is.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
I'm playing basketball and soccer
all the time,

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
I'm an Actor.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
I'm a Youtuber, musician, Twitch streamer,

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
media face--

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
What is "media face?"

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
It sounds like another word for like,
spokesperson or something.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
I'm the media face for...

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
uh, I don't know.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Kohl's.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
And they just put my face
on all of the media that they have.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Every commercial is just

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
my face.
(woman voiceover) Kohl's cash!

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
He is well known throughout the country

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
for his outstanding Youtube videos.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Thank you!

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Danny was born in Wheaton, Illinois
in the United States.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
He has claimed to be 
residing in the United States.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Danny will be 27 years old in 2021.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
This is all good so far.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
After finishing elementary school

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
he went to Wheaton North High School.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
I did go to middle school
in between there,

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
but thanks for assuming, I guess,

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
that I skipped three years

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
and went straight from fifth grade
to being a freshman in high school.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
"Yeah, I was sort of a whiz kid.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Started high school when I was 10."

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
His eyes are a gorgeous warm blue.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Blue can't be warm.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Blue is a cold color!

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
You can't make blue warm.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
How can you have a warm blue?

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
I'm gonna google "warm blue."

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
WARM blue.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Doesn't look warm to me.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
"Danny's eyes are warm blue,

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
and what we mean by that are that

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
his irises are blue,

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
but then the white parts of his eyes

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
are actually RED.
(sizzling sound, rock music)

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
They're red hot.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
They're actually hot to the touch,

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
and he gets third degree burns
every time he blinks.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
It is a serious medical condition

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
and they are gorgeous.
(ding sound, crowds cheering)

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
His chest, waist, and hip dimensions,

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
as well as his dress size,
shoe and biceps,

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
are all unknown.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
This website is kind of making me sound
cool and mysterious.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
"Scientists are still trying to figure out

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
what his chest and waist dimensions are.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Our best scientists are on the case

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
and they still haven't
been able to figure it out.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Those dresses he wears?

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
We can't figure out what size those are."

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Gonzalez and his family
live a comfortable life.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
He frequently sends pictures of
his home to his admirers.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Have I ever posted a picture
of my house on social media?

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Probably like the inside of my house.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Am I frequently sending pictures
of my home to my admirers?

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
That makes it sound like I'm, like,

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
taking a picture and printing it out,

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
putting it in an envelope and like,
sending it to my fans,

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
it's just a picture of like, my kitchen.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Could be some
pretty tight merch, actually.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Fifty bucks? Anyone?

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
I'll mail you a picture of my "gar-age"?

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Let me tell you that his home is furnished

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
with some great sofas, lamps,
kitchen equipment, and other items.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
First off, I love that the artic--

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
like, the author of this article has
remained very, like, unbiased

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
and like, speaking in the third person

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
until they get to my home
and they're like,

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
(cheeky music)
"Let me give you the scoop.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
I gotta tell you about his house.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Straight from me to you.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
He's got some great sofas.
He's got phenomenal lamps.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
(crowd cheering)

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Look at that shit."

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
His home has a white
color design throughout.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
That's called,

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
"We're too scared to hang up art
or anything on our walls

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
cause we-- we're afraid
we don't-- we won't like it,

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
so all of our walls are bare."

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Danny is an actor, writer, and director

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
according to his IMDB profile.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
What?

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Do I have an IMDB profile?

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Danny Gonzalez IMDB.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Danny Gonzalez is known for
his work on Camp Unplug--

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Ohhhh.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Danny Gonzalez: Help Let Me Go.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Is that-- why is that a movie?

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Someone put "Help Let Me Go"
on IMDB as a movie?

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Who did this?

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Don't you have to have, like,
a paid membership on IMDB

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
to edit stuff like this?

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
And it's got ratings!

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Honestly, really good.
Nine and half stars, goddamn!

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Critics are loving it, dude.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
I wanna see this movie.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
What is the synopsis?

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
The adventures of a
radioactive dolphin man

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
and his crime-fighting sidekick.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
And they put me as the

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
writer and director of
this movie. And star.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
So I guess that's why,
uh, this article thinks

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
that I'm a writer, director, and actor.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
And I guess I was also a
director in Danny Gonzalez.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Is this like my Youtube--

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
okay, yeah, it's my Youtube channel.
Has an IMDB page too.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Okay, cool.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Gonzalez has an incredible voice
and vocal tone as a singer.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Thank you guys, goddamn!

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Okay. Alright.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
This is the insane part.
Are you ready for this?

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
This is the part that someone posted
on my subreddit and I was like,

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
"Holy shit. What the--

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
What the hell and what the F?"

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Relationship status: married or single?

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Danny Gonzalez is a gifted
and inquisitive person.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Doesn't have anything to do
with my relationship status.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
"You're wondering if Danny's single?

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Well, he's actually pretty inquisitive.
(thoughtful piano music)

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
He's a curious fellow. 
Does that answer your question?"

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Acoording to sources, he has been in
a relationship with Laura.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
They attended the same high school
and frequently interacted.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
That's true.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
While dating we did interact
pretty frequently, I would say.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
There was some
near-constant interaction, actually.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
They had been together
for quite some time.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
They got married, okay.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Here's the crazy shit, ready?

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Laura Gonzalez, according
to some accounts,

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
DIED on August 30, 2021,

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
for unexplained reasons.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
(echoing) HUH?????

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
You're just gonna fucking make up
that my wife died?

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
What the hell?

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Who said that?

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
I wanna know.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
This is where it just gets
way too creepy for me.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Like that's weird for them to say.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Yeah, they literally just, like,
made up that my wife died

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
and were like,

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
"We can put that in the article.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
According to SOME sources.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
(whispering) Us. We're the--

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
it's us. We're the sources.
We made it up.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
She died.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
For unexplained reasons.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
The reasons have been unexplained
because the sources, (us)

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
have not explained it.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
And we won't."

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Just so everyone knows,
Laura's fine, alright?

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
We just went to the Tyler
the Creator concert this week.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
So there's us at the
Tyler the Creator concert

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
That picture is Real.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
And my wife is Alive.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Anyways, uh,

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
I guess those are the two articles
I wanna talk about.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Let's see if there's anything else
here that we wanna look at.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
These 2 vegetables will
kill your belly fat,

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
a teaspoon on an empty
stomach burns 12 pounds of fat,

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Lot of fat loss stuff here.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Not sure...

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
what that's about.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Anyway. Moral of the story:

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
(rock music)
quit making shit up about me, articles!

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Honestly, like...

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
can I sue them?

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
I don't know.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Nah, I probably couldn't sue them.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
But I could review my legal options.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
(rock music begins again)
Articles, quit making shit up about me

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
or I'm gonna review my
legal options, alright?

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
In fact, I already am.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
In my head, I'm reviewing them right now.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
And, uh, it's not looking
good for you guys.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
So quit making shit up,

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
keep my name out of
your goddamn mouth, actually

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
and, uh,

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
if you want info about
me, just ask, alright?

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
I just made a whole ass video where I just

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
talked about nothing but my life.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
So I'm an open book.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Guys, are you trying to learn something
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and thank you to you guys
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Alright, well, thank you
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99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Bye.