Welcome back to the second channel, everybody,
we've got a crazy video today.
I'm gonna crack open a nice sparkling water
(crack, pop, fizz)
AH!
FUCK!
My keyboard, that's very cool.
I didn't even get the cap off, by the way,
it's still on and it's just sprayed out like that.
That's very cool.
Okay.
Hope I didn't just totally destroy my keyboard.
Let me go get a towel real quick.
(cartoon running sound effect)
And I'll just toss this over there.
(wet slapping noise)
Damn.
And I'll open the rest of this lid.
(electronic rave music)
Alright.
Alright, today we're gonna be talking about
these weird ass articles
that these companies write about Youtubers.
I did a video on my main channel like, a long time ago
about these articles, but
since then I feel like they've gotten even worse.
Companies like this, whatever wiki website this is,
will try to like, write an article
with anything that you might search about someone
so, "Danny Gonzalez Wife, Age, Net Worth, Married."
It's got "wife" and "married" in the same thing, like,
"Sure, we know he has a wife, but are they married?"
They'll try to like, compile all of these things into an article,
that way if you google, like, "Danny Gonzalez age"
this comes up.
But they'll also try to like fill it with information that, I-- they--
they don't know.
Cause they'll just make shit up.
And what I think has happened over the years
is that one article will kind of, like, overexaggerate how much they know,
and then another article will take info from THAT article
and then they'll fudge a little bit more,
and it's just this like snowballing effect to now, like,
these articles have, just like, shit that is nowhere near true.
Especially the second article we're gonna be talking about.
I've got two articles here,
one of them someone tweeted at me,
and then some-- another one was in the subreddit.
So thank you guys for sharing these.
But it is pretty bizarre.
Really, I'm getting on here to set the record straight,
because there's a lot of false information being spread about me.
And I guess I gotta correct the record, alright?
So this one's on this website called Wiki.
Let's take a look.
Danny Gonzalez was born in Illinois, USA, on June 12th, 1994.
That beautiful city Illinois, USA1.
His zodiac sign is Gemini and he holds American nationality.
Okay, so far we're doing pretty good.
Here's where things start to go a little bit awry.
Danny was raised an only child--
(thud sound) Not true.
in Illinois by his Mexican parents--
(thud sound) Not true.
I do have a quarter Mexican in me,
but it's just on my dad's side, so
I would not call my parents my Mexican parents.
Who were both in the real estate business--
I don't know where the fuck they got that from.
I don't think I've ever talked about what my parents do for a living
in any of my videos.
So I don't know if they're just making that up
or they, like, misinterpreted something I said one time,
like my-- if I said like I have--
my parents own a house?
And they were like,
"Oh! So they're in the real estate business."
I guess technically true.
They have one investment property.
It's where they live.
At the age of thirteen, he moved with his family
to Atlanta, Georgia and enrolled at a high school there.
(thud sound) Not true.
This is something I've seen before in other articles,
so I'm assuming they got it from those,
but they were wrong and so is this one.
People who write this article, if you're watching this,
listen up, alright?
I'm gonna te-- I'm gonna set the record straight.
I did not move to Atlanta in high school.
I did live in Atlanta.
But it was for college.
I lived in Illinois until I went to college.
You know what I think it is?
As much as it upsets me to say this,
maybe I said in a video years ago that I live in Atlanta
and they were like,
"Okay, this guy looks thirteen, and he lives in Atlanta.
So that's when he moved to Georgia."
But really I was in college and I just looked thirteen.
That's like, the only guess I have, is that they just kind of like,
mis-aged me,
and were like, "Yeah, you're thirteen.
And you go to high school in Atlanta." (laughs)
Danny became interested in social media networks
while attending high school,
as most of his friends were active on social networks such as Vine, Facebook, and Instagram.
Vine didn't come out until I was in college, actually.
These are things that you could just Google.
What if I just google,
How old was Danny in June 2012?
Guess I should specify that. Danny Gonzalez.
I don't--
Little vain of me to think that that would come up.
His birthday was in June of 1994.
So he was 18 in June of 2012. He had just graduated high school.
Not that freakin' hard to figure out.
He was physically active, as he played soccer, football, and was also a member
of his high school's drama club.
This is so freakin'...
strange.
Maybe if you search "Danny Gonzalez"
like, a picture of somebody playing soccer comes up?
I did not play soccer in high school.
I did not play football in high school.
Not seeing anybody playing soccer.
This guy looks pretty strong.
Maybe they saw this,
thought this was me,
and were like, "How did he get so strong?"
Oh wait! Lookit!
Ohhh shit.
Do you think they scrolled down all the way to here,
saw this picture of a guy that's clearly not me,
and thought to themselves,
"Ohhhh. He played soccer in high school. Very cool."
Okay, so, I played soccer and football--
Honestly, my life sounds way cooler in this article than it does in real life.
I was like the new kid in high school in the big city of Atlanta,
I was the star of the football and soccer team.
Danny matriculated in 2012--
Okay, so they DO know when I matriculated.
They know when I graduated.
I'm assuming that's what "matriculated" means.
To be enrolled at a college or university.
So what they're saying is,
"Danny enrolled in 2012, and then enrolled in Georgia Tech."
So they know when I started college, then.
So they know that Vine didn't exist
if they had just like, taken one second to think about it.
Danny launched his career on the Internet while attending high school
as his Vine account numbered more than 2 million followers.
Dude, the words they use in this article are kind of impressive though.
"Matriculated."
The next sentence says,
"He launched his eh--
Ep--
Eh-PONY-miss Youtube Channel.
Ee-pony-miss.
Eponymous?
It's got the word "pony" in there.
"He launched his pony-themed Youtube channel on September 9th, 2014,
and has since gathered more than 4.1 million subscribers.
Okay, they wrote this article a little while ago.
What is epi-- "epinomous" mean?
It means,
"Give their name to something."
Okay, so it's like my self-titled Youtube channel.
Danny's love life, is he married?
Okay, there's a bunch of weird shit in here too, I remember.
Oh yeah.
Laura is a dancer and photographer,
whose Instagram account is followed by over 5,000 people.
Again, they're making shit up for Laura, too!
I don't know where they found, like, I-- okay,
she has an Instagram?
So that makes her a photographer?
And maybe she--
No, she's never danced. On anything.
So I don't know where they got that.
I like how I said she's NEVER danced.
"She's NEVER danced.
Laura doesn't know how to dance, alright?
She's got two left feet.
Literally. She's got this weird condition where both of her feet are left feet.
She's never danced.