0:00:03.909,0:00:07.192
Remember that time[br]when as a child you drew a picture

0:00:07.192,0:00:10.579
and then you'd show your picture[br]to your parents or caregivers,

0:00:10.579,0:00:13.825
looking for appraisal or approval?[br]

0:00:13.825,0:00:15.956
I never got that from my mother.

0:00:16.276,0:00:18.966
Every single time I showed her my drawing,

0:00:18.966,0:00:22.546
“Look what I did, mom![br]What do you think? Do you like it?"

0:00:23.134,0:00:25.477
She would look at my drawing,

0:00:25.477,0:00:28.657
then look at me and reply with a question,

0:00:28.657,0:00:31.767
“What do you think? Do you like it?”

0:00:31.767,0:00:33.254
It doesn’t matter what I think,

0:00:33.254,0:00:36.485
what’s more important[br]is what you think about it.

0:00:36.805,0:00:39.312
Back then I was kind of mad at her

0:00:39.312,0:00:42.337
because I thought[br]that was some kind of test,

0:00:42.337,0:00:43.742
but now I know.

0:00:43.742,0:00:47.907
She was trying to help me[br]build confidence in myself,

0:00:47.907,0:00:49.937
help me answer questions like,

0:00:49.937,0:00:56.837
"What do I think? What do I like?[br]Do I like myself? Who am I?"

0:00:58.755,0:01:02.484
I have been asked this question,[br]“Who do you think you are?”

0:01:02.484,0:01:03.887
many times in my life,

0:01:03.887,0:01:08.495
from people with good[br]and not so good intentions.

0:01:08.495,0:01:12.295
And every single time[br]I felt absolutely terrified.

0:01:12.903,0:01:16.234
There was a part in me really scared.

0:01:16.784,0:01:19.364
When I finally looked at that fear,

0:01:19.364,0:01:23.354
I saw a scared little girl[br]trying to figure things out.

0:01:23.354,0:01:26.326
Then I started communicating[br]with that girl.

0:01:26.326,0:01:30.246
What I found is that in talking[br]with that little girl in me,

0:01:30.246,0:01:32.456
I gained confidence in myself.

0:01:33.076,0:01:36.776
The ride was bumpy but totally worth it.

0:01:37.706,0:01:40.066
The story begins in college.

0:01:40.066,0:01:44.209
One night we were partying[br]with my friends at the beach,

0:01:44.209,0:01:47.379
singing and playing music[br]around a bonfire.

0:01:48.579,0:01:51.284
A friend of mine was playing the mandolin.

0:01:51.284,0:01:54.904
She was playing[br]with such a grace, I was in awe.

0:01:55.444,0:01:57.029
She invited me to join her,

0:01:57.029,0:02:00.779
but I didn’t play any[br]musical instruments at that time.

0:02:00.779,0:02:05.829
But that night, I promised[br]to myself to learn lyra,

0:02:05.829,0:02:08.704
a musical instrument from Crete, Greece.

0:02:09.724,0:02:13.634
The moment I said that out loud though,[br]something weird happened.

0:02:14.188,0:02:17.443
Half of my college friends[br]stopped talking to me

0:02:17.443,0:02:20.693
and the other half[br]were politely avoiding me.

0:02:21.038,0:02:26.188
When I confronted one of them,[br]he said, "It’s because of the lyra thing."

0:02:26.405,0:02:29.330
And I go, "Yes, so what?"

0:02:29.330,0:02:32.520
"Well, you can’t, you are a woman,

0:02:32.520,0:02:38.280
and lyra is a musical instrument[br]traditionally played by men."

0:02:39.529,0:02:42.239
Unaware of the fact that this clay model,

0:02:42.239,0:02:47.219
found in Palaikastro, Crete,[br]and dates back to 1350 BC,

0:02:47.219,0:02:53.774
shows a group of women dancing[br]to the music of a lyre played by a woman.

0:02:54.237,0:02:58.170
Or totally forgetting[br]about people like Lavrendia Bernidaki,

0:02:58.170,0:03:00.119
who was the first woman in the 40s

0:03:00.119,0:03:03.584
to ever be recorded[br]in a musical record as a singer.

0:03:03.584,0:03:06.684
But she was the first woman[br]that we know of,

0:03:06.684,0:03:11.326
that played all the musical instruments[br]widely played in Crete:

0:03:11.326,0:03:16.166
the lute, the violin,[br]lyra and the mandolin.

0:03:16.979,0:03:22.372
Nevertheless, I got the same reaction[br]from both men and women.

0:03:22.882,0:03:27.102
I even had someone publicly[br]point the finger at me saying,

0:03:27.102,0:03:29.420
"Who do you think you are to play lyra?"

0:03:30.428,0:03:36.218
I was devastated, heartbroken and alone.

0:03:37.185,0:03:38.751
But you know what?

0:03:38.751,0:03:42.041
There was a part in me really excited[br]to learn how to play,

0:03:42.041,0:03:46.431
so I went on, bought the instrument[br]and started looking for a teacher.

0:03:46.815,0:03:51.263
Apparently, music teachers,[br]and especially lyra teachers,

0:03:51.263,0:03:53.263
didn’t teach women to play lyra.

0:03:53.263,0:03:57.268
So I said, "Okay I am going[br]to have to learn by myself."

0:03:57.268,0:03:58.448
So I did.

0:03:59.573,0:04:05.793
But as it's true with most things,[br]music is better when it's shared.

0:04:06.395,0:04:11.105
There was a group[br]of 70-, 80-year-old men and women

0:04:11.116,0:04:14.383
from the village of Melambes, Rethymno,

0:04:14.383,0:04:20.293
who were gathering once a week, to play[br]music, sing, dance, eat and share stories.

0:04:20.660,0:04:25.860
In one of their gatherings,[br]I timidly mentioned that I play lyra too,

0:04:25.860,0:04:27.114
and they were so excited

0:04:27.114,0:04:30.074
that a young lady plays[br]this musical instrument,

0:04:30.074,0:04:34.024
that they kept inviting me[br]week after week to play with them.

0:04:34.024,0:04:36.209
I was thrilled.

0:04:36.209,0:04:40.448
I had finally found my tribe,[br]and I was having so much fun.

0:04:40.448,0:04:41.678
(Laughter)

0:04:41.678,0:04:44.984
There was an incident, though,[br]I will never forget.

0:04:45.234,0:04:49.424
In one of the weekly gatherings[br]I was asked to play;

0:04:49.424,0:04:53.496
then suddenly, a man who was joining[br]the group for the first time,

0:04:53.496,0:04:59.446
stood up and yelled,[br]"Is she going to play lyra? A woman?

0:04:59.446,0:05:01.341
Who does she think she is?"

0:05:01.341,0:05:02.695
(Laughter)

0:05:02.695,0:05:06.675
My heart was beating really fast,[br]and I was about to burst into tears

0:05:06.675,0:05:11.885
when one of the oldest men of the group [br]gently turned my head to look at him

0:05:11.891,0:05:15.701
and said, "Chrisa, repeat after me:

0:05:15.701,0:05:21.303
'I am that I am, that I am, that I am.[br]I’m Popeye the sailor man!'"

0:05:21.303,0:05:24.285
(Laughter)

0:05:24.285,0:05:28.248
Soon after I finished repeating[br]the phrase, we all had a good laugh,

0:05:28.248,0:05:31.915
and I got the nickname “kapetanaki,”

0:05:31.915,0:05:34.944
which roughly translates[br]to “little captain,”

0:05:34.944,0:05:37.714
with a touch of a rebellious attitude.

0:05:38.604,0:05:41.074
But I kept this "little captain" attitude

0:05:41.074,0:05:45.054
in advocating for women's[br]human and civil rights.

0:05:45.863,0:05:47.273
Have you ever wondered

0:05:47.273,0:05:51.763
why so many women and men[br]pay the same college tuition

0:05:51.763,0:05:56.133
but are not in so many cases[br]getting paid equally?

0:05:57.346,0:06:00.976
Apart from the wage gap,[br]have you ever thought about

0:06:00.976,0:06:05.436
why aren't there more women[br]CEOs, politicians, engineers

0:06:05.436,0:06:08.374
or lyra musicians for that matter?

0:06:08.654,0:06:11.944
Who is responsible for that?

0:06:12.124,0:06:13.784
[Who is responsible?]

0:06:13.785,0:06:17.792
After spending a couple of years[br]in private practice as a hypnotherapist,

0:06:17.792,0:06:22.166
treating women with[br]confidence related issues,

0:06:22.166,0:06:23.726
it dawned on me.

0:06:24.361,0:06:29.321
Most women didn’t believe[br]they were enough.

0:06:30.364,0:06:33.564
Smart enough, thin enough,[br]beautiful enough,

0:06:33.564,0:06:36.203
qualified enough, educated enough. [br]

0:06:36.203,0:06:39.145
I say, enough is enough!

0:06:39.145,0:06:42.931
Numerous global studies show[br]that compared with men,

0:06:42.931,0:06:47.531
women don’t consider themselves[br]as ready for promotions.

0:06:47.784,0:06:50.472
They predict they’ll do worse on tests,

0:06:50.472,0:06:53.182
and they generally[br]underestimate their abilities,

0:06:53.182,0:07:00.152
when in fact, their actual performance[br]does not differ in quality or quantity.

0:07:01.852,0:07:07.815
We fail to break the glass ceiling[br]because of our lack of confidence.

0:07:10.101,0:07:15.121
The answer to my question[br]“Who is responsible” is we, women,

0:07:15.121,0:07:17.867
and especially the things[br]we say to ourselves

0:07:17.867,0:07:21.104
and the things we believe[br]to be true for ourselves.

0:07:21.104,0:07:25.124
Each and every one of us[br]is responsible for our lives.

0:07:25.124,0:07:31.781
The only one to define who you are[br]or who you think you are is you.

0:07:32.098,0:07:35.508
It doesn’t matter what other people[br]say or believe about you,

0:07:35.508,0:07:40.118
what’s most important is[br]what you believe to be true for yourself.

0:07:40.118,0:07:42.794
Evaluate your own drawings,

0:07:42.794,0:07:46.664
don’t seek others’ appraisal[br]or approval for your creations.

0:07:47.484,0:07:53.244
Now, the way you hear that question[br]says a lot about your starting point

0:07:53.244,0:07:54.903
when it comes to confidence.

0:07:55.582,0:08:00.612
Do you hear it as a question[br]that triggers a self-discovery journey?

0:08:00.612,0:08:02.722
"Who do you think you are?"

0:08:02.994,0:08:06.864
Or as an insult?[br]"Who do you think you are?"

0:08:07.444,0:08:10.144
"Who do you think you are[br]to go after your dreams?"

0:08:10.332,0:08:12.422
"Who do you think you are to speak up?"

0:08:12.979,0:08:16.009
"Who do you think you are[br]to talk back to authority?"

0:08:16.465,0:08:20.865
"Who do you think you are to name[br]your abuser after all these years?"

0:08:21.302,0:08:25.632
"Who do you think you are to hold[br]your head up high after a failure?"

0:08:27.832,0:08:31.004
When someone asks you,[br]"Who do you think you are,"

0:08:31.004,0:08:32.712
how do you respond?

0:08:33.292,0:08:35.532
Most likely with fear.

0:08:36.042,0:08:40.712
This question has been lobbed at most[br]of us at some point as an accusation,

0:08:40.712,0:08:45.132
but I see it as the most powerful[br]question to ask ourselves.

0:08:45.330,0:08:48.475
Socrates, the Greek philosopher, said:

0:08:48.475,0:08:52.605
(Greek) “The unexamined life[br]isn’t worth living.”

0:08:52.891,0:08:56.521
“The unexamined life isn’t worth living.”

0:08:56.904,0:08:59.145
That was my starting point[br]to forming the idea

0:08:59.145,0:09:01.385
that in order to have a life worth living

0:09:01.385,0:09:04.865
and confidently answer the question[br]"Who do you think you are,"

0:09:04.865,0:09:08.662
we have to examine our lives[br]starting from childhood

0:09:08.662,0:09:12.223
and properly parent our inner child.

0:09:12.744,0:09:16.267
But first, what is the inner child?

0:09:16.267,0:09:17.267
[Inner child]

0:09:17.270,0:09:22.104
Inner child is a part of your character[br]that was affected during childhood,

0:09:22.104,0:09:25.984
which can have childish reactions[br]to everyday adult situations,

0:09:25.984,0:09:29.150
such as not speaking up for yourself,

0:09:29.150,0:09:31.947
not being able to change[br]an annoying habit,

0:09:31.947,0:09:34.787
ask for what you want, set boundaries,

0:09:34.787,0:09:37.527
apply for that job,[br]ask for that promotion,

0:09:37.532,0:09:40.342
negotiate your wage, or your worth.

0:09:41.312,0:09:44.282
Are you wondering[br]if you have an inner child?

0:09:44.480,0:09:49.370
The answer is yes, you do have one[br]because you were a child once.

0:09:50.169,0:09:55.519
Why do we need to heal the inner child[br]in order to have confidence?

0:09:56.040,0:10:01.180
It's because during the early years[br]of development in a child’s life,

0:10:01.180,0:10:04.901
there are certain events[br]that trigger emotions

0:10:04.901,0:10:07.863
that a child is not equipped to deal with.

0:10:08.315,0:10:10.494
We all had at a certain point

0:10:10.494,0:10:13.634
some of our primal needs[br]as children not quite met,

0:10:13.634,0:10:17.284
and that created some[br]kind of trauma or limiting belief.

0:10:17.284,0:10:20.272
Lack of love, acceptance, protection.

0:10:20.562,0:10:23.979
At that point, the child[br]assumes the belief,

0:10:25.389,0:10:26.869
"It’s me.

0:10:26.869,0:10:30.059
There is something wrong with me."

0:10:30.543,0:10:35.803
And continues all the adult life[br]seeing herself based on that belief.

0:10:37.982,0:10:39.892
I'm not enough.

0:10:40.227,0:10:41.577
I can't.

0:10:42.558,0:10:43.988
I'm not worthy.

0:10:45.334,0:10:49.724
My idea is to compassionately listen[br]to what this inner child is saying,

0:10:49.724,0:10:54.644
and as a loving, caring parent[br]give the correct answers.

0:10:54.922,0:11:00.402
"You can.” “You are enough.”[br]“You are worthy.”

0:11:01.536,0:11:04.546
I’m going to share with you[br]the technique I use with my clients

0:11:04.546,0:11:07.795
tο help them update those false beliefs

0:11:07.795,0:11:09.796
that helped them build confidence.

0:11:09.796,0:11:16.241
It’s a process that everybody[br]can do, both women and men.

0:11:16.596,0:11:21.326
But in this time and age,[br]I want to dedicate this practice to women.

0:11:21.634,0:11:26.334
With statistically lower confidence,[br]women can really use it,

0:11:26.334,0:11:30.563
because it is time to meet[br]the person you truly are.

0:11:31.383,0:11:33.826
It consists of three steps.

0:11:34.136,0:11:37.726
You’re going to need your imagination,[br]a pen and a piece of paper.

0:11:39.779,0:11:41.475
Step number one:

0:11:41.475,0:11:44.255
Find a quiet place[br]in the comfort of your home

0:11:44.255,0:11:46.919
where you can have some time undisturbed,

0:11:46.919,0:11:49.222
and take your notebook,

0:11:49.222,0:11:51.894
and allow yourself to go back[br]to a time in your childhood

0:11:51.894,0:11:54.474
when something happened that hurt you.

0:11:54.474,0:11:58.574
The important thing here[br]is to notice and note down

0:11:58.574,0:12:01.747
all the details as an observer.

0:12:02.139,0:12:04.579
Witness the scene as an observer.

0:12:05.267,0:12:07.116
And step number two:

0:12:07.476,0:12:12.486
You are going to create[br]some contact with that inner child

0:12:12.486,0:12:14.581
you saw on the first scene.

0:12:15.235,0:12:19.055
Approach her; tell her you are a friend.

0:12:19.268,0:12:23.738
Tell her you saw what happened,[br]and it is not her fault.

0:12:24.969,0:12:29.509
Tell her, "You are loved[br]and appreciated by me.

0:12:30.788,0:12:35.238
I will take care of you.[br]Things will be okay."

0:12:35.490,0:12:36.870
[Things will be okay]

0:12:37.052,0:12:40.071
In step number three,[br]you are going to say your goodbyes,

0:12:40.071,0:12:45.291
but before that, you are going to ask her,[br]"What do you need right now?"

0:12:46.125,0:12:49.015
Wait for the answer[br]and then write it down.

0:12:49.769,0:12:51.984
Speak to her with the wisdom[br]you have today

0:12:51.984,0:12:57.464
and share with her a message [br]that will help her as she's growing up.

0:12:59.272,0:13:03.042
Give any promises,[br]express love and gratitude.

0:13:03.042,0:13:07.121
“I will come back. I love you. Thank you.”

0:13:07.323,0:13:12.033
You can repeat this process[br]for as many life events as you see fit.

0:13:12.482,0:13:16.952
And every time you need some[br]extra boost of confidence or courage,

0:13:16.952,0:13:18.206
repeat,

0:13:18.206,0:13:24.456
"I am enough. I am lovable.[br]I am safe. I can."

0:13:25.106,0:13:28.131
That is what I did when[br]I decided to learn lyra

0:13:28.131,0:13:30.511
despite society’s disapproval.

0:13:30.803,0:13:35.103
This is what I did just moments ago[br]before I came up on this stage.

0:13:36.072,0:13:38.619
Today, I am happy to report

0:13:38.619,0:13:42.196
that more and more women[br]are playing lyra in Crete,

0:13:42.196,0:13:47.986
and there are many, many teachers[br]that do not discriminate based on gender.

0:13:49.148,0:13:50.668
[Xenia Pandelaki]

0:13:50.668,0:13:51.898
[Katerina Petraki]

0:13:51.898,0:13:53.131
[Kelly Thomas]

0:13:53.131,0:13:57.311
There was a major shift[br]in society’s perception.

0:13:57.311,0:13:58.441
[Giota Silli]

0:13:58.441,0:14:00.141
[Georgia Androulaki-Chnari]

0:14:00.141,0:14:01.691
[Georgia Dagaki]

0:14:01.691,0:14:03.161
[Ioanna Zouli]

0:14:03.161,0:14:04.155
[Elena Karatzi]

0:14:04.155,0:14:08.929
This is what happens when[br]women show up authentically,

0:14:08.929,0:14:12.257
confidently knowing who they truly are.

0:14:12.257,0:14:14.666
And one might wonder,

0:14:14.666,0:14:17.309
What else could be possible

0:14:17.309,0:14:22.149
if you allow yourself to define[br]who you are and act on it?

0:14:22.699,0:14:25.296
This practice helped me[br]build the confidence

0:14:25.296,0:14:27.648
to create a life worth living,

0:14:27.648,0:14:31.777
the courage to show up[br]and speak my truth,

0:14:31.777,0:14:37.137
and the compassion to accept[br]my light and my shadows.

0:14:37.347,0:14:41.594
I invite you to do the inner child work[br]and examine your lives,

0:14:41.594,0:14:44.424
because it is through her eyes,

0:14:44.424,0:14:47.824
those eyes that look at the world[br]with curiosity and wonder,

0:14:47.824,0:14:49.934
that you will define who you truly are.

0:14:49.934,0:14:54.114
And it is very important[br]because how you define yourself

0:14:54.114,0:14:57.873
will impact how successful[br]you are at your work,

0:14:57.873,0:14:59.571
the quality of your relationships,

0:14:59.571,0:15:03.921
and even how happy[br]and fulfilled you are in your life.

0:15:04.532,0:15:08.419
Stop playing small,[br]let your light shine through

0:15:08.419,0:15:14.529
so that you show up in the world[br]with love, creativity and grace.

0:15:15.525,0:15:21.205
So, I will ask again,[br]but take your time to answer.

0:15:22.966,0:15:26.066
Who do you think you are?

0:15:26.626,0:15:27.764
Thank you.

0:15:27.764,0:15:29.794
(Applause)