Please welcome my guests with love,
Steve Drain and Timothy Phelps of the
Wesboro Baptist Church; it's a type of religion.
[boos from crowd]
Don't be mean. Don't be mean.
Which one are you, mate?
I'm Steve.
Steve, sit down bruv.
Which one are you?
Timothy.
Hello, Timothy.
Sit down in comfort.
I want to bring you a sign, first of all.
This says "Fag Pimp Brand".
Absolutely, absolutely.
Make yourself comfy, mate.
Now this of course is clearly offensive as an object.
"Fag pimp Brand". And I'm depicted here.
That's not a very flattering photograph.
It's the face you made. You made the face.
I made the face, I pays the price.
Fair enough, that's true.
And it says here that I'm a fag pimp.
Yep.
I'm English of course so being a fag pimp just means
Cigarette?
But in the world of vitriolic hate speech
fag means?
Homosexual. It means you're an advocate for sin,
and a very loud one at that.
[cheering]
Thank you, I appreciate your vocal respect but
these people are to explain something to me and
it does take courage and bravery to come in front of
a room full of people you think almost certainly
ain't gonnna agree with you so let's hear what
they have to say because I'm actually very interested.
Fag pimp Brand. Ok, we're keeping this.
You make your living making a mockery of sin.
In fact, since you promote sin, you hate all these kind
people in your heart.
Oooh, I don't. I love them.
That's why he applauds your sin. Because he hates you all.
I don't applaud any sins what's hurting people or yourselves.
You encourage them and then they burn in hell for
all eternity, so that's not very loving.
When the Lord Jesus Christ said to love your neighbour as yourself
you love your neighbour as yourself by warning them when their
sin is taking them to hell.
And as a matter of fact, if you fail to warn your
neighbour, you hate your neighbour in your heart.
So, by a bible standard, we love you all,
and I know you can't believe that from your goofy
hallmark standard, but from a bible standard we love you.
And from a bible standard, he hates you.
And you probably hate each other.
Bloody hell!
It's like a really tricky quiz of hate.
Steve, Tim, do you mind if I do the, I mean I got some questions
here because it'll help us for our interview.
Why did you come here?
It's our duty.
For your mission?
It's our duty... To warn these people to stop sinning.
The bible says this: "Cry aloud, stare not, lift up thy
voice like a trumpet and show the people their transgressions."
How do you show people their transgressions without
making it crystal clear what their sin is?
God hates fags.
Dude, I know it's not popular, but we're not making
this stuff up. It's right in the bible.
Look there's three... And those that practice all those acts.
Look, first of all, first of all we're not talking...
Hey, you lot. One at a time you will all get a chance
to speak.
In hell!
[laughter]
We're not talking about a base human passion
like you or I might feel, like you or I might hate each
other, it's simply...
Just so you know, I love you.
I know, I love you too. It's simply God's fixed
determination to punish the wicked in hell for their sins.
Because he can. Because he's God. Because he's sovereign.
Because he can. That's crazy.
Exactly.
Ok, so it's simply God condemning what is objectively
and indefatigably wrong. That's what it is?
I got you man, I understand that.
Well put, well put other than the accent. Very well put.
This is how this language is supposed to be spoken,
cheeky.
Look, we just preach the bible. We're not
making this stuff up.
That's their catchphrase, I like it.
The uk...
Westboro Baptist Church: We're not making this stuff up.
This is to be found also in Corinthians.
Verse four.
What's your next question?
I just feel from what I've read of Jesus, and of what I've
had explained to me, that his main message was
definitely tolerance and love and truth and beauty
and acceptance.
Hold on. Except that you don't get to define the love of God.
Nor do you though!
Hold on! Hold on!
We do that! The bible does!
We got this thing.
The bible does, and here's a couple things that he said.
First of all, he says that here's my love that you keep
my commandments and my commandments are not grevious.
And second of all, he said he that sayeth...
Look mate, you're good at the scripture and verse, but I gotta say this to ya.
Have you considered that the bible, like all religious doctrine,
may be allegorical and symbolic to direct us towards
one holy entity of love as opposed to a specific
litigiousness text to direct the behaviour of human beings.
The bible wasn't literally written by a cosmic entity,
it was written by people.
It was written by the Holy Spirit.
They were moved by the Holy Ghost.
The Holy Spirit ain't got a pen!
Sure he does. It was written by human beings.
You're just making a mock of sin.
I'm not mate.
God works in you. You don't have any stinking power
of your own, Russell. Get over yourself.
I agree with you, I agree with that also.
You don't have any power. If God doesn't move in
you to do a thing, then you don't do it.
I agree with the basics, but it's just where it goes
into sex stuff, because I just think it's such a low
priority when there's so many important things happening.
Like don't you think, and this is a genuine question,
what do you think God thinks of the ecological
disaster and the growing power of corperations.
Don't you think he is worried about that more than
the bumming?
Now it's time for the Westboro Baptist Church
Heaven or Hell? game. Tell me whether these people
are going to Heaven or Hell.
1. Madonna
Hell.
Ahhh!
Tom Hanks.
Definitely Tom Hanks.
What for?
C'mon. He lives for himself for God's sake.
Tom Hanks, you've been very selfish.
Besides that, besides that, look. Anyone
who has a considerable platform, like you do, like
Tom Hanks has, and you don't give God the glory, you don't give
your maker the glory for making you and giving you that position...
I do! I do!
No you don't. This is definitely due to a powerful cosmic entity
that creates all energy and wants us all to be
unified in love. If I didn't make that clear I'm sorry.
What you do is you...
Look, there's good old bloody Krishna here,
dancing on the head of evil, to acknowledge that
everything belongs to God.
It's an idol. It's an idol. You're fashioning...
Right, that's going to Hell.
You're fashioning a conception of God out of your own dark heart.
Tom Hanks, Hell for you.
Ghandi?
Hell.
Aaahh!
He was trying his hardest!
Hey, I got the answer.
Wait! This is why Ghandi's going to hell. Shut up.
Listen, Billy Gram, ok, got rich off of this saying:
"God loves the sinner hates the sin". Gandhi's the
one who coined that phrase, Billy Gram said "I'm
gonna make some money off that."
Gandhi put out that lie well before Billy Gram, and it
is a lie.
So Gandhi goes to Hell.
Sure.
I wanna watch that movie.
Maybe more-so than Madonna.
Maybe more than Madonna?
Imagine Gandhi in a pointy bra, in Hell.
What about these two. Firstly their not as big as
everyone else.
I dunno.
One's black one's white. Hell!
No, god, no.
Hey, you know what?
Well if f***ing Gandhi's going down!
No no, hold on. None of us are safe!
We'll have a quick commercial break now, see you in a moment.
Up next, Rus has a surprise for the Westbro Baptists.
And now we have here, what I can only describe as
some homosexuals. Their my mates, I brought them here.
Let's meet them now. Some gays.
This is Chere, Carlos, Sisi.
Right.
Before we start the interview, if anyone's attracted
to these three men, err, give me a call,
Russell Brand: Fag Pimp.
I can do you a very good price on Sisi.
Ok, right, so.
I need Jose to come and help me. Jose does sound
and drives me here. Jose, please welcome.
Before we start, you're not gay are you?
No.
You've got the job. Stand there so you don't seem
like you're behind the fellas because it'll unsettle
them. The last thing they want is three gay men behind them.
Now what is it? You're gay, Sisi?
Openly gay.
No he's not.
And a Christian.
You're a filthy pervert.
I'm an openly gay man and I'm a Christian because
God is love and his love is for everybody, not
just for you two.
Unless you repent for that sin you're going to go t hell.
Look, thou shall not lie with mankind as with
womankind, that's in the bible.
that you say you believe.
I don't think that's one of the most important bits.
There's no...Hey listen! There's not going to be any
creation going on when two men get together, I
can tell you that right now.
Steve, what worries me, to follow the you mustn't lay with men bit
you've got to ignore the tolerance and love bit.
And that's got to be more important. That's like
as sub-clause. That's like smallprint.
No it's not. No it's not.
I don't even think they meant that bit.
People in Sodom thought it was OK to be gay.
Tim, Tim. Give us a second because we're trying to
construct a telly program.
You guys have to be civil. We're gonna respect you
so you respect us, OK?
You're a sodomising hypocrite.
No, don't do that, no no.
Ah ah ah, no touching.
All right, don't be so cross.
You tell them.
Stop upsetting my mates.
They're trying their best to be homophobic over here.
Imagine, right, if we all go to Heaven and God's like
"You f***ing idiots."
Oh no! They told us! And that's what's going to happen
That's gonnna happen.
Listen, OK, I think I feel like
I think you're nice people and I really like your passion and everything,
but I just feel our first duty as human being is to
be loving and tolerant of one another, and I think
we're facing so much crisis and difficulty at this time on our planet
that we can't focus on people's private issues.
We love you enough to tell you what God's standard
is, that's the...
I love you too. I love you too.
That's the definition of loving your neighbour.
If you love me so much will you kiss me on the mouth?
Ladies and gentlemen, the Westboro Baptist Church and some lovely gay lads together.
Give me a cuddle.
No no no.
What about you?
Just a pat like this.