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Ladies and gentlemen,

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please give a warm welcome
to our next speaker,

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Mrs. Ellen Rutledge.

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(Applause)

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My name is Ellen Rutledge.

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I'm employed here at Ironwood State Prison

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as secretary to the Chief Deputy Warden,

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Mr. Neil McDowell.

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Like many of you,

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I always thought
that my family would be blessed

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with a long and happy life together.

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But God did not include that
in our life plan.

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On the morning of October 22, 2008,

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our lives were tragically changed forever.

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At approximately 4:30 in the morning,

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my only son, Michael,

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stepped out of his house,
preparing to go to work.

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As he was loading up his truck,

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he was approached by two
armed robbers wearing ski masks.

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He was brutally beaten.

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He was fatally shot
in the head, execution-style,

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while he was on his hands and knees.

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The only physical thing
that those robbers took

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was his wallet.

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At the time of his murder,

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Michael was 35 years old.

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This picture was taken just a few months
before he was murdered.

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He and his wife
had been married for 13 years;

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they had two young children.

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They owned their own home
in a nice neighborhood,

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and they were living what we all call
"the American dream."

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When I was given the news
that my son had been murdered,

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thus began my long ride
on an emotional rollercoaster.

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My emotions ran from disbelief,

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to bargaining with God,

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and many nights of grief and despair.

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You see, as a mother,

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it's my natural instinct

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to fix whatever problems
my children might have.

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But I couldn't fix this.

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To this day, I still have
a hard time understanding

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how anything so unforgivable
could happen to any family.

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But it does.

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One of the most difficult things

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we as humans are ever called upon to do

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is to respond to evil with kindness,

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and to forgive the unforgivable.

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We love to read stories
and watch movies

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about people who respond
to hatred with love.

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And yet when that very thing
is required of us,

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our default seems to be one of anger,
bitterness, or vengeance.

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If you don't practice forgiveness,

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you might be the one 
who pays the most dearly.

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So, the kindest thing
you can do for yourself

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is to forgive the unforgivable.

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Lewis B. Smedes, professor,
and author of many popular books

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including "Forgive and Forget," is quoted:

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"To forgive is to set a prisoner free

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only to discover
that the prisoner was you."

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Since the murder of my son in 2008,

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I have journeyed down
a thousand emotional roads,

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seeking the answers to:

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can I, will I ever forgive
those two young men

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who chose to kill my son,

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instead of just taking his wallet
and walking away?

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No rational answer has ever given me
the solace that I seek.

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During the past five years,

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I have eased off
the freeway of pure anguish,

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and I now travel
on a frontage road of acceptance.

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I have searched my soul
time and time again,

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and I have come to know

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that I am no longer
identified as a victim,

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but rather, I am a strong,
positive, and resilient woman.

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Be assured, we all have
the ability to forgive.

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But it may not happen
in one fall swoop.

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Sometimes it has to happen in layers.

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Sometimes we have to forgive
someone many times

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before we can let go
of all the emotional residue of the past.

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We can take inspiration 
from the words of Nelson Mandela,

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who was imprisoned for 27 years
by the South African government.

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He says: "As I stepped out the door
toward my freedom,

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I knew

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that if I did not leave all the anger,
hatred, and resentment behind,

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I would still be in prison."

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So, how do we know
if we have achieved forgiveness?

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If you have taken the steps
to restore peace in your heart,

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you will feel a shift.

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You will no longer feel sorrow
over the circumstance.

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You will no longer feel angry
with that person.

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You'll feel sorry for them, instead.

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And you will tend not to have anything
else to say about the situation, at all.

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You will feel lighter, 
and you will know in your heart

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that you have given
yourself the ultimate gift.

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Thank you.

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(Applause)