WEBVTT

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Come bite my thumb

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I hope you know the stakes

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I'll put a slug between

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your shoulder blades

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then ask what light through

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yonder poser breaks?

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I hath been iambic on that ass

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ye bastard

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my rhymes are classic

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your crap is drafted

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by a kindergartner

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high on acid

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ye hoebag

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you're an old white Soulja Boy

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who has no swag

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and no gonads

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egads it's so sad

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and to top it off

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you're not a doctor

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I've never seen a softer author

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you crook, you

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I bet you wrote

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the Twlight books too

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I would not could not on a boat

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read any of the boring ass

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plays you wrote

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even Horton

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doesn't want to hear you

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and Cindy Lou Who is

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afraid to go near you

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you bore people to death

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you leave a classroom

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looking like the end of MacBeth

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I entertain a child of any age

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you gotta translate

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what you said

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on the opposite page

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how you gonna battle

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with the Cat In The Hat?

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little kits get scared

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when I step on the mat

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you think your ruffled neck ass

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gonna rap to that?

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I got a best selling book

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about me coming back

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I'm switching up my style

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like the Beatles with my pieces

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each is such a wonder

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with a plethora of features

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you're pathetically predictable

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you think your new book

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might include a trisyllabic meter

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and some ghetto Muppet creatures

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the Bard is in the building

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it's a castle, I'm a boss

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I bet I'm Parliament

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I'm positive I'm killing it

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I'm iller than the plague

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I never caught or cholera

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a baller baller

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on some cricket bowler business

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while you're sitting in the bleachers

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You rap fast you do

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yes you rap fast it's true

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now let's see how you rap

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versus Things 1 and 2

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Oh, No

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We'll smash your globe

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yo, you may have wrote the script

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but now we running the show

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you can take your fancy words

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and send'em

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back home to your mama

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break our foot off in your ass

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with our feetie pajamas

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man we'll cook you up

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and eat you with some

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ham and green eggs

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we'll break offa your legs

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make no mistake

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we in a rage

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all does not end well

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when we bust out our cage

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you gettin' upstaged Bill

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yo, you just got played!

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Who won?

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Who's next?

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You decide