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Dialogue: 0,0:00:00.00,0:00:02.08,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Hey, everyone! This week's video
Dialogue: 0,0:00:02.08,0:00:03.92,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,is coming by popular demand.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:03.92,0:00:05.74,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Borderline Personality Disorder,
Dialogue: 0,0:00:05.74,0:00:07.56,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,eating disorders and self-harm,
Dialogue: 0,0:00:07.56,0:00:09.29,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,how do they relate? So stay tuned
Dialogue: 0,0:00:09.29,0:00:10.63,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,towards the end of the video
Dialogue: 0,0:00:10.63,0:00:11.36,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,'cause I'm gonna give you
Dialogue: 0,0:00:11.36,0:00:13.21,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,the dirty little secret about therapy.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:14.61,0:00:15.100,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,^(soft piano music plays)
Dialogue: 0,0:00:21.46,0:00:23.52,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So I know a lot of you have asked me
Dialogue: 0,0:00:23.52,0:00:25.68,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,about Borderline Personality Disorder
Dialogue: 0,0:00:25.68,0:00:28.07,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,or otherwise known as BPD, which is easier
Dialogue: 0,0:00:28.07,0:00:29.74,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,for me to say, to be honest, 'cause
Dialogue: 0,0:00:29.74,0:00:31.55,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Borderline Personality Disorder's like
Dialogue: 0,0:00:31.55,0:00:32.37,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(mumbles)
Dialogue: 0,0:00:32.37,0:00:34.22,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I'll probably mess it up. So BPD is
Dialogue: 0,0:00:34.22,0:00:36.22,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,something that a lot of us struggle with.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:36.22,0:00:37.32,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,We may have been told
Dialogue: 0,0:00:37.32,0:00:39.39,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,by one person that we're diagnosed with it
Dialogue: 0,0:00:39.39,0:00:42.57,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,or we have BPD-like symptoms.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:42.57,0:00:43.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And a lot of us just wonder:
Dialogue: 0,0:00:43.99,0:00:46.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"What the heck does that mean?
Dialogue: 0,0:00:46.00,0:00:47.08,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"And if I do have it,
Dialogue: 0,0:00:47.08,0:00:48.18,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"why does everybody act
Dialogue: 0,0:00:48.18,0:00:50.65,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"like it's such a bad thing?" Right?
Dialogue: 0,0:00:50.65,0:00:54.01,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Now, just to give you a little background
Dialogue: 0,0:00:54.01,0:00:56.77,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,on what Borderline Pers. Disorder is,
Dialogue: 0,0:00:56.77,0:00:59.85,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,it's really, in my opinion,
Dialogue: 0,0:00:59.85,0:01:03.57,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,it's our mind's way of coping with things.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:03.57,0:01:04.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And I'm going to read to you
Dialogue: 0,0:01:04.99,0:01:07.62,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,a little bit of the DSM, so that you know,
Dialogue: 0,0:01:07.62,0:01:10.48,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,when someone says you may have BPD-like
Dialogue: 0,0:01:10.48,0:01:12.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,symptoms or you actually have BPD,
Dialogue: 0,0:01:12.99,0:01:15.22,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,what they're really talking about. Okay?
Dialogue: 0,0:01:15.22,0:01:16.94,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And I'll try to make this very clear
Dialogue: 0,0:01:16.94,0:01:18.66,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and concise 'cause a lot of times
Dialogue: 0,0:01:18.66,0:01:20.35,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,people throw words around
Dialogue: 0,0:01:20.35,0:01:22.06,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that don't really pertain to us.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:22.06,0:01:23.87,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And I want to make sure you understand
Dialogue: 0,0:01:23.87,0:01:26.93,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,what BPD really is. So the DSM states
Dialogue: 0,0:01:26.93,0:01:28.58,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that we have to have 5 or more
Dialogue: 0,0:01:28.58,0:01:31.39,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,of the following. And this the older DSM
Dialogue: 0,0:01:31.39,0:01:33.43,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,'cause the new one isn't quite out yet.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:33.43,0:01:35.46,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So when the new one comes out, I'll get it
Dialogue: 0,0:01:35.46,0:01:36.40,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and then we'll see
Dialogue: 0,0:01:36.40,0:01:37.50,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,if there's any changes,
Dialogue: 0,0:01:37.50,0:01:39.17,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,but I don't think there is to this.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:39.17,0:01:39.95,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So the first one
Dialogue: 0,0:01:39.95,0:01:41.39,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and the one I've talked about before
Dialogue: 0,0:01:41.39,0:01:42.67,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,in another one of my videos
Dialogue: 0,0:01:42.67,0:01:44.79,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,^is frantic efforts to avoid real
Dialogue: 0,0:01:44.79,0:01:46.51,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,^or imagined abandonment.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:46.51,0:01:49.01,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,^This was in my Fear of Abandonment video.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:49.01,0:01:50.96,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,^And this one is probably the most common
Dialogue: 0,0:01:50.96,0:01:53.38,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that I see in borderline patients.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:53.38,0:01:54.20,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But like I said,
Dialogue: 0,0:01:54.20,0:01:55.61,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,you have to have 5 or more.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:55.61,0:01:56.74,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,That's only 1.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:56.74,0:01:59.21,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,^The second: A pattern of unstable
Dialogue: 0,0:01:59.21,0:02:01.62,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,^or intense interpersonal relationships
Dialogue: 0,0:02:01.62,0:02:03.79,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,^characterized by alternating between
Dialogue: 0,0:02:03.79,0:02:07.50,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,^extremes of idealization and devaluation.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:07.50,0:02:09.54,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Now, in the therapy world we talk about
Dialogue: 0,0:02:09.54,0:02:11.01,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,people putting us on a pedestal
Dialogue: 0,0:02:11.01,0:02:12.52,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,or throwing us under the bus.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:12.52,0:02:13.73,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So you either love me
Dialogue: 0,0:02:13.73,0:02:14.88,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,or you just hate my guts
Dialogue: 0,0:02:14.88,0:02:16.47,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and you wish I go away. Right?
Dialogue: 0,0:02:16.47,0:02:18.53,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It's that extreme up and down.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:18.53,0:02:20.57,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,That's usually...
Dialogue: 0,0:02:20.57,0:02:23.55,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,What people will notice first is that
Dialogue: 0,0:02:23.55,0:02:25.58,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,because they're in relationships with you.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:25.58,0:02:27.38,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So if you're hating them and loving them
Dialogue: 0,0:02:27.38,0:02:29.29,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,in 2 days, they're like: "Oh!" You know?
Dialogue: 0,0:02:29.29,0:02:30.94,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And that can be really hard.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:30.94,0:02:33.91,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Now, the third one is identity disturbance
Dialogue: 0,0:02:33.91,0:02:37.04,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,^markedly and persistently unstable
Dialogue: 0,0:02:37.04,0:02:39.73,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,^self-image or sense of self.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:39.73,0:02:41.35,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Now we're all like: "Wow. Well,
Dialogue: 0,0:02:41.35,0:02:43.09,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"that applies to a lot of people".
Dialogue: 0,0:02:43.09,0:02:44.10,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And that's why you have to have at least
Dialogue: 0,0:02:44.10,0:02:48.20,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,5 of these. But I think that one point
Dialogue: 0,0:02:48.20,0:02:51.09,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,is why it's so linked to eating disorders.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:51.09,0:02:52.54,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Okay? Because
Dialogue: 0,0:02:52.54,0:02:55.26,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,we don't think very highly of ourselves.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:55.26,0:02:56.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,We have a very distorted vision
Dialogue: 0,0:02:56.99,0:02:59.03,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,of who we are and what we're about.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:59.03,0:03:00.45,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,That can lead to a lot of other things
Dialogue: 0,0:03:00.45,0:03:01.98,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Like eating disorders, right?
Dialogue: 0,0:03:01.98,0:03:05.40,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,^And the next one is impulsivity
Dialogue: 0,0:03:05.40,0:03:07.50,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,^and at least to 2 areas
Dialogue: 0,0:03:07.50,0:03:09.75,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,^that are potentially self-damaging.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:09.75,0:03:12.25,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,This can be anything from spending habits,
Dialogue: 0,0:03:12.25,0:03:14.02,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,like we'll go on spending sprees
Dialogue: 0,0:03:14.02,0:03:15.75,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,or it could be sex where we have sex
Dialogue: 0,0:03:15.75,0:03:17.42,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,with a bunch of different strangers
Dialogue: 0,0:03:17.42,0:03:18.32,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and it's not really,
Dialogue: 0,0:03:18.32,0:03:19.45,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,we're not safe about it
Dialogue: 0,0:03:19.45,0:03:21.30,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and we just act impulsively. Right?
Dialogue: 0,0:03:21.30,0:03:23.11,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It can be any kind of thing like that.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:23.11,0:03:24.53,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I think in here they say...
Dialogue: 0,0:03:24.53,0:03:25.96,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Yes, substance abuse,
Dialogue: 0,0:03:25.96,0:03:27.55,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,reckless driving, binge eating.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:27.55,0:03:29.76,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So again, connected to eating disorders.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:29.76,0:03:33.29,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Right? Then the next one, the fifth one
Dialogue: 0,0:03:33.29,0:03:36.24,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,^is recurrent suicidal behavior, gestures
Dialogue: 0,0:03:36.24,0:03:38.72,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,^or threats, or self-mutilating behavior.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:38.72,0:03:40.50,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Now, this was my frustration
Dialogue: 0,0:03:40.50,0:03:42.47,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,with the new DSM 'cause self-mutilating
Dialogue: 0,0:03:42.47,0:03:45.23,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,behavior or self-harm doesn't just occur
Dialogue: 0,0:03:45.23,0:03:47.13,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,when we have Borderline Pers. Disorder
Dialogue: 0,0:03:47.13,0:03:49.96,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,but the DSM only puts it in here.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:49.96,0:03:52.38,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So we'll work on that. Right?
Dialogue: 0,0:03:52.38,0:03:54.58,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But a lot of us struggle with suicide
Dialogue: 0,0:03:54.58,0:03:56.80,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and I find with my Borderline patients,
Dialogue: 0,0:03:56.80,0:03:58.24,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,many of them use suicide
Dialogue: 0,0:03:58.24,0:04:00.88,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and suicidal ideation as a way
Dialogue: 0,0:04:00.88,0:04:02.49,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,to work on that abandonment
Dialogue: 0,0:04:02.49,0:04:03.25,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,because they're afraid
Dialogue: 0,0:04:03.25,0:04:04.72,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,someone's gonna run away, so then
Dialogue: 0,0:04:04.72,0:04:05.76,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,we act out and we say:
Dialogue: 0,0:04:05.76,0:04:07.21,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"Well, I'm gonna commit suicide
Dialogue: 0,0:04:07.21,0:04:08.45,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,or I'm gonna hurt myself".
Dialogue: 0,0:04:08.45,0:04:10.81,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And that gets people back in our lives.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:10.81,0:04:12.28,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Right? And that makes sense.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:12.28,0:04:14.62,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I can see the connection. Can't you?
Dialogue: 0,0:04:14.62,0:04:16.59,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So that's kind of how that's used.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:16.59,0:04:20.35,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,^The sixth thing is effective instability
Dialogue: 0,0:04:20.35,0:04:23.48,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,^due to a marked reactivity of mood.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:23.48,0:04:24.48,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,^So this is like,
Dialogue: 0,0:04:24.48,0:04:27.36,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,^you're intensely irritable or anxiety.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:27.36,0:04:29.55,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It usually lasts a couple of hours,
Dialogue: 0,0:04:29.55,0:04:31.08,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,so our mood is just unstable.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:31.08,0:04:31.84,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It's all over the place.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:31.84,0:04:33.65,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I might be really happy one minute
Dialogue: 0,0:04:33.65,0:04:35.41,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and then really mad and sad the next.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:35.41,0:04:36.94,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It's like: "Aaah!" It's all over
Dialogue: 0,0:04:36.94,0:04:38.40,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and it feels really crazy.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:38.40,0:04:40.81,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So that, but it doesn't usually last more
Dialogue: 0,0:04:40.81,0:04:43.12,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,than a couple of hours, at the most a day.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:43.12,0:04:44.50,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,If it lasts longer than that,
Dialogue: 0,0:04:44.50,0:04:45.70,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,then it might be Bipolar,
Dialogue: 0,0:04:45.70,0:04:47.49,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,which I'll talk about in another video.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:47.49,0:04:48.98,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Let's not get distracted. Okay?
Dialogue: 0,0:04:48.98,0:04:50.82,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,On to the next one!
Dialogue: 0,0:04:50.82,0:04:54.18,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,^So #7 is chronic feelings of emptiness.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:54.18,0:04:56.40,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And I know we're all thinking:
Dialogue: 0,0:04:56.40,0:04:58.42,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"Well shit, Kati. I feel like that.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:58.42,0:04:59.50,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"That's me. Ugh!"
Dialogue: 0,0:04:59.50,0:05:01.40,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But remember we have to have 5 of these.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:01.40,0:05:03.51,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You may feel like a lot of these
Dialogue: 0,0:05:03.51,0:05:04.58,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,pertain to you.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:04.58,0:05:06.20,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"Oh, I can really connect with that".
Dialogue: 0,0:05:06.20,0:05:07.83,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And that's why you may have heard:
Dialogue: 0,0:05:07.83,0:05:10.24,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"Oh, you have Borderline tendencies
Dialogue: 0,0:05:10.24,0:05:13.26,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,or Borderline-like symptoms". Right?
Dialogue: 0,0:05:13.26,0:05:15.43,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,'Cause we don't meet all the criteria.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:15.43,0:05:16.58,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So that was the seventh.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:16.58,0:05:17.91,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,There's 2 more. I'm almost done.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:17.91,0:05:20.53,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,^Now the eighth is inappropriate intense
Dialogue: 0,0:05:20.53,0:05:23.81,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,^anger or difficulty controlling anger.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:23.81,0:05:26.04,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Now this is, I feel like a lot of these
Dialogue: 0,0:05:26.04,0:05:28.49,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,kind of go hand in hand
Dialogue: 0,0:05:28.49,0:05:30.80,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,with the eating disorders and self-harm.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:30.80,0:05:32.27,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You know how I just talked about
Dialogue: 0,0:05:32.27,0:05:34.55,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,in my PTSD video how we're anger out
Dialogue: 0,0:05:34.55,0:05:36.100,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,or we're anger in? Well, this is saying
Dialogue: 0,0:05:36.100,0:05:40.58,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that we have inappropriate intense anger.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:40.58,0:05:42.62,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So we really don't have a place to put it
Dialogue: 0,0:05:42.62,0:05:43.96,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and we don't really know why it's there,
Dialogue: 0,0:05:43.96,0:05:46.91,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,but we feel it and it's bad and, you know?
Dialogue: 0,0:05:46.91,0:05:49.18,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So that's another way it relates.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:49.18,0:05:53.80,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,^The last one is transient stress-related
Dialogue: 0,0:05:53.80,0:05:56.59,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,^paranoia or paranoid ideation
Dialogue: 0,0:05:56.59,0:05:59.50,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,^or severe dissociative symptoms.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:59.50,0:06:01.20,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Now, that also kind of goes in line
Dialogue: 0,0:06:01.20,0:06:02.39,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,with my PTSD video,
Dialogue: 0,0:06:02.39,0:06:04.07,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,because remember how I talked about
Dialogue: 0,0:06:04.07,0:06:05.80,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,the ways that we kind of deal
Dialogue: 0,0:06:05.80,0:06:07.76,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,with a situation
Dialogue: 0,0:06:07.76,0:06:09.98,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and some of us can actually dissociate.
Dialogue: 0,0:06:09.98,0:06:13.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I'm trying to think of what I'd even talk-
Dialogue: 0,0:06:13.00,0:06:14.85,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,My binge! When I talked about binging
Dialogue: 0,0:06:14.85,0:06:16.49,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and Bulimia when you're kind of in
Dialogue: 0,0:06:16.49,0:06:18.04,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,an out-of-body experience, like:
Dialogue: 0,0:06:18.04,0:06:19.94,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"I can't handle this. I'm stepping out!"
Dialogue: 0,0:06:19.94,0:06:21.89,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And you, like watch yourself doing stuff.
Dialogue: 0,0:06:21.89,0:06:24.31,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,That's kind of what dissociation is
Dialogue: 0,0:06:24.31,0:06:26.78,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,because we're too intense.
Dialogue: 0,0:06:26.78,0:06:28.30,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Everything is too intense
Dialogue: 0,0:06:28.30,0:06:30.51,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that we can't even be present,
Dialogue: 0,0:06:30.51,0:06:33.56,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,like fully present in the moment.
Dialogue: 0,0:06:33.56,0:06:35.16,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Okay? So
Dialogue: 0,0:06:35.16,0:06:38.23,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that's what Borderline Pers. Disorder is
Dialogue: 0,0:06:38.23,0:06:39.97,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and you can see how it ties into
Dialogue: 0,0:06:39.97,0:06:41.69,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,our self-harm behaviors
Dialogue: 0,0:06:41.69,0:06:43.35,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and our eating disorders.
Dialogue: 0,0:06:43.35,0:06:45.20,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But remember we have to meet 5
Dialogue: 0,0:06:45.20,0:06:48.30,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,of those criteria to be properly diagnosed
Dialogue: 0,0:06:48.30,0:06:51.53,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and we may go in and out. We may meet some
Dialogue: 0,0:06:51.53,0:06:53.51,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,sometimes and some not the other times,
Dialogue: 0,0:06:53.51,0:06:55.51,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,but that gives you an idea of what it is.
Dialogue: 0,0:06:55.51,0:06:58.23,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Now the dirty little secret of therapy
Dialogue: 0,0:06:58.23,0:07:00.68,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and kind of something that I think
Dialogue: 0,0:07:00.68,0:07:02.84,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,is really important for you to know.
Dialogue: 0,0:07:02.84,0:07:05.10,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I feel like many therapists might be like:
Dialogue: 0,0:07:05.10,0:07:06.72,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"Oh, thank God! Somebody's finally
Dialogue: 0,0:07:06.72,0:07:08.12,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"telling people this" because
Dialogue: 0,0:07:08.12,0:07:10.13,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I know a lot of you tell me all the time:
Dialogue: 0,0:07:10.13,0:07:11.90,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"Yeah! I keep getting passed around".
Dialogue: 0,0:07:11.90,0:07:12.85,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And people will say:
Dialogue: 0,0:07:12.85,0:07:14.37,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"I don't really deal with that".
Dialogue: 0,0:07:14.37,0:07:16.33,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And we don't know what to do! We're like:
Dialogue: 0,0:07:16.33,0:07:17.58,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"Holy moly! I've been looking
Dialogue: 0,0:07:17.58,0:07:18.67,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"for therapy forever
Dialogue: 0,0:07:18.67,0:07:19.86,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"and I finally get to see somebody
Dialogue: 0,0:07:19.86,0:07:21.54,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"and then you're like 'I don't see you'
Dialogue: 0,0:07:21.54,0:07:24.03,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"Great! Thanks for nothing!"
Dialogue: 0,0:07:24.03,0:07:25.75,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Right? And it's really frustrating.
Dialogue: 0,0:07:25.75,0:07:27.05,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,That can happen a lot.
Dialogue: 0,0:07:27.05,0:07:28.87,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And that even perpetuates our struggle
Dialogue: 0,0:07:28.87,0:07:30.90,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,with abandonment if we are Borderline.
Dialogue: 0,0:07:30.90,0:07:33.05,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Right? We're like: "Holy moly!"
Dialogue: 0,0:07:33.05,0:07:36.22,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So why does that happen? Why?
Dialogue: 0,0:07:36.22,0:07:37.69,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Why do we feel like we're so
Dialogue: 0,0:07:37.69,0:07:39.09,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,like the black sheep?
Dialogue: 0,0:07:39.09,0:07:41.25,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And that's really because even in school
Dialogue: 0,0:07:41.25,0:07:42.56,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,as a therapist they tell us
Dialogue: 0,0:07:42.56,0:07:44.37,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,how difficult it is to treat someone
Dialogue: 0,0:07:44.37,0:07:47.30,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,with Borderline Personality Disorder.
Dialogue: 0,0:07:47.30,0:07:49.08,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I almost feel like, yeah,
Dialogue: 0,0:07:49.08,0:07:50.23,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,they should let us know.
Dialogue: 0,0:07:50.23,0:07:51.47,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But instead of saying that
Dialogue: 0,0:07:51.47,0:07:53.05,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and just making it like: "You don't want
Dialogue: 0,0:07:53.05,0:07:53.97,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"a lot of Borderline patients!
Dialogue: 0,0:07:53.97,0:07:55.64,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"They're really hard to deal with!"
Dialogue: 0,0:07:55.64,0:07:56.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And yeah, because you're volatile.
Dialogue: 0,0:07:56.99,0:07:58.47,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Your mood's all over the place.
Dialogue: 0,0:07:58.47,0:08:00.44,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You feel completely out of control.
Dialogue: 0,0:08:00.44,0:08:02.30,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You're afraid people are gonna hurt you
Dialogue: 0,0:08:02.30,0:08:03.77,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and you want to hurt yourself.
Dialogue: 0,0:08:03.77,0:08:06.35,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I mean, it makes sense. Right?
Dialogue: 0,0:08:06.35,0:08:08.18,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But as a therapist I'm not afraid
Dialogue: 0,0:08:08.18,0:08:09.59,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,of Borderline patients.
Dialogue: 0,0:08:09.59,0:08:12.11,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It's really not that hard to deal with
Dialogue: 0,0:08:12.11,0:08:13.79,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and that's why, to be honest,
Dialogue: 0,0:08:13.79,0:08:17.05,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,why I tell you all get a DBT workbook.
Dialogue: 0,0:08:17.05,0:08:19.03,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Join a DBT group.
Dialogue: 0,0:08:19.03,0:08:20.52,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,DBT which stands for
Dialogue: 0,0:08:20.52,0:08:22.34,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Dialectical Behavioral Therapy
Dialogue: 0,0:08:22.34,0:08:25.43,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,is the best thing. It's the saving grace
Dialogue: 0,0:08:25.43,0:08:27.39,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,for people who struggle with Borderline
Dialogue: 0,0:08:27.39,0:08:29.28,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,because it helps us get in control
Dialogue: 0,0:08:29.28,0:08:30.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,of our emotions a little bit more
Dialogue: 0,0:08:30.99,0:08:33.04,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,instead of feeling like they control us.
Dialogue: 0,0:08:33.04,0:08:34.75,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So that extreme fear of abandonment,
Dialogue: 0,0:08:34.75,0:08:37.25,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,the mood volatility, the suicidal ideation
Dialogue: 0,0:08:37.25,0:08:38.94,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and all of those characteristics,
Dialogue: 0,0:08:38.94,0:08:43.16,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that intense anger, can all be calmed.
Dialogue: 0,0:08:43.16,0:08:44.56,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,We recognize it coming in.
Dialogue: 0,0:08:44.56,0:08:46.52,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,We can feel it. We use our Mindfulness.
Dialogue: 0,0:08:46.52,0:08:48.57,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,There's a lot of techniques that they use
Dialogue: 0,0:08:48.57,0:08:51.57,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and it can kind of bring us back down.
Dialogue: 0,0:08:51.57,0:08:55.36,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So that's why people avoid Borderline
Dialogue: 0,0:08:55.36,0:08:57.07,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and people get a bad stigma,
Dialogue: 0,0:08:57.07,0:08:58.60,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and it's really not so bad.
Dialogue: 0,0:08:58.60,0:09:00.44,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,We just have to work together.
Dialogue: 0,0:09:00.44,0:09:02.42,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,We need to get our DBT workbook.
Dialogue: 0,0:09:02.42,0:09:03.90,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,We need to start working on it.
Dialogue: 0,0:09:03.90,0:09:06.08,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I know it's hard and it's intense.
Dialogue: 0,0:09:06.08,0:09:08.42,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You feel it and ah! Right?
Dialogue: 0,0:09:08.42,0:09:11.75,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But then we're calmer. We feel better.
Dialogue: 0,0:09:11.75,0:09:13.42,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And therapists will be more willing
Dialogue: 0,0:09:13.42,0:09:14.70,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,to work with you.
Dialogue: 0,0:09:14.70,0:09:16.79,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I just hate that it's given such a bad rep
Dialogue: 0,0:09:16.79,0:09:18.27,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,but people don't talk about it.
Dialogue: 0,0:09:18.27,0:09:18.96,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,They don't let us know.
Dialogue: 0,0:09:18.96,0:09:20.44,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,They don't tell you other than:
Dialogue: 0,0:09:20.44,0:09:22.22,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"We won't see you anymore"
Dialogue: 0,0:09:22.22,0:09:23.97,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,or "I need to refer you out".
Dialogue: 0,0:09:23.97,0:09:26.33,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,That just makes us feel like shit. Right?
Dialogue: 0,0:09:26.33,0:09:27.95,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So that's kind of a little insight
Dialogue: 0,0:09:27.95,0:09:30.32,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,into why that happens.
Dialogue: 0,0:09:30.32,0:09:31.76,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So I hope that makes sense
Dialogue: 0,0:09:31.76,0:09:33.94,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and I hope that that kind of clarifies
Dialogue: 0,0:09:33.94,0:09:37.07,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,what BPD is, why it's given a bad rep,
Dialogue: 0,0:09:37.07,0:09:38.78,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,how we're diagnosed with it
Dialogue: 0,0:09:38.78,0:09:40.81,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and how we can work on it.
Dialogue: 0,0:09:40.81,0:09:43.28,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So hop online! There's a great workbook
Dialogue: 0,0:09:43.28,0:09:44.98,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,for Dialectical Behavioral Therapy
Dialogue: 0,0:09:44.98,0:09:46.66,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,by Marsha Linehan. She's the one
Dialogue: 0,0:09:46.66,0:09:49.03,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,who did all of the research on DBT.
Dialogue: 0,0:09:49.03,0:09:50.66,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,She's actually the one who I think
Dialogue: 0,0:09:50.66,0:09:52.91,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,even coined the phrase "DBT Therapy".
Dialogue: 0,0:09:52.91,0:09:55.30,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Check it out! Take time!
Dialogue: 0,0:09:55.30,0:09:57.60,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Look into it. Look into DB... (mumbles)
Dialogue: 0,0:09:57.60,0:10:01.53,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,See? (mumbles) DBT groups in your area.
Dialogue: 0,0:10:01.53,0:10:03.63,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,We can get a hold of this.
Dialogue: 0,0:10:03.63,0:10:04.88,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,We can work together.
Dialogue: 0,0:10:04.88,0:10:06.89,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And then we can get the help that we need.
Dialogue: 0,0:10:06.89,0:10:07.95,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Right?
Dialogue: 0,0:10:07.95,0:10:09.86,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So stay tuned for my next videos.
Dialogue: 0,0:10:09.86,0:10:11.12,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Don't forget to subscribe.
Dialogue: 0,0:10:11.12,0:10:12.79,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Give us a thumbs up if you like it.
Dialogue: 0,0:10:12.79,0:10:14.70,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I plan on covering this topic more
Dialogue: 0,0:10:14.70,0:10:15.80,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and I want to make sure
Dialogue: 0,0:10:15.80,0:10:17.76,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,if you like this topic and you want more.
Dialogue: 0,0:10:17.76,0:10:19.61,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You give me a thumbs up and let me know
Dialogue: 0,0:10:19.61,0:10:20.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,'cause I will take that into consideration
Dialogue: 0,0:10:20.99,0:10:22.92,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,when I'm putting together my next video,
Dialogue: 0,0:10:22.92,0:10:23.78,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,as we work towards
Dialogue: 0,0:10:23.78,0:10:26.49,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,a Healthy Mind and a Healthy Body.