WEBVTT

00:00:00.990 --> 00:00:04.845
When people find out
I write about time management,

00:00:04.845 --> 00:00:06.736
they assume two things.

00:00:07.629 --> 00:00:11.954
One is that I'm always on time,

00:00:11.954 --> 00:00:13.263
and I'm not.

00:00:13.589 --> 00:00:15.036
I have four small children,

00:00:15.036 --> 00:00:17.945
and I would like to blame them
for my occasional tardiness,

00:00:17.945 --> 00:00:20.124
but sometimes it's just not their fault.

00:00:20.492 --> 00:00:23.424
I was once late to my own speech
on time management.

00:00:23.424 --> 00:00:24.420
(Laughter)

00:00:24.420 --> 00:00:27.820
We all had to just take a moment
together and savor that irony.

00:00:29.035 --> 00:00:30.382
The second thing they assume

00:00:30.382 --> 00:00:34.081
is that I have lots of tips and tricks
for saving bits of time here and there.

00:00:34.081 --> 00:00:37.847
And sometimes I'll hear from magazines
that are doing a story along these lines,

00:00:37.847 --> 00:00:41.221
generally on how to help their readers
find an extra hour in the day.

00:00:41.221 --> 00:00:44.517
And the idea is that we'll shave
bits of time off everyday activities,

00:00:44.517 --> 00:00:45.521
add it up,

00:00:45.521 --> 00:00:47.553
and we'll have time for the good stuff.

00:00:47.553 --> 00:00:51.024
And I question the entire 
premise of this piece,

00:00:51.024 --> 00:00:52.264
but I'm always interested

00:00:52.264 --> 00:00:54.934
in hearing what they've come up with
before they call me.

00:00:54.934 --> 00:00:55.933
Some of my favorites:

00:00:55.933 --> 00:00:59.263
doing errands in a way where
you only have to make right-hand turns --

00:00:59.263 --> 00:01:00.256
(Laughter)

00:01:00.256 --> 00:01:02.492
Being extremely judicious
in microwave usage --

00:01:02.492 --> 00:01:05.295
so it says three to three-and-a-half
minutes on the package,

00:01:05.295 --> 00:01:07.733
we're totally getting in
on the bottom side of that.

00:01:07.733 --> 00:01:08.922
And my personal favorite,

00:01:08.922 --> 00:01:10.449
which makes sense on some level,

00:01:10.449 --> 00:01:11.837
is to DVR your favorite shows

00:01:11.837 --> 00:01:14.085
so you can fast-forward
through the commercials,

00:01:14.085 --> 00:01:16.795
and that way you save about
eight minutes every half hour,

00:01:16.795 --> 00:01:18.887
so in the course of two hours
of watching TV,

00:01:18.887 --> 00:01:20.416
you find 32 minutes to exercise.

00:01:20.416 --> 00:01:21.421
(Laughter)

00:01:21.421 --> 00:01:22.730
Which is true.

00:01:22.730 --> 00:01:25.351
You know another way to find
32 minutes to exercise?

00:01:25.677 --> 00:01:28.032
Don't watch two hours of TV a day, right?

00:01:28.032 --> 00:01:29.025
(Laughter)

00:01:29.025 --> 00:01:31.913
Anyway, the idea is we'll save bits
of time here and there,

00:01:31.913 --> 00:01:32.908
add it up,

00:01:32.908 --> 00:01:35.143
we will finally get to
everything we want to do.

00:01:35.143 --> 00:01:37.877
But after studying how successful
people spend their time,

00:01:37.877 --> 00:01:40.784
and looking at their
schedules hour by hour,

00:01:40.784 --> 00:01:43.898
I think this idea
has it completely backward.

00:01:44.536 --> 00:01:48.578
We don't build the lives
we want by saving time.

00:01:48.578 --> 00:01:50.867
We build the lives we want,

00:01:50.867 --> 00:01:54.070
and then time saves itself.

00:01:55.385 --> 00:01:56.227
Here's what I mean.

00:01:56.392 --> 00:01:58.052
I recently did a time diary project

00:01:58.237 --> 00:02:02.001
looking at 1,001 days in the lives
of extremely busy women.

00:02:02.501 --> 00:02:03.768
They had demanding jobs,

00:02:03.904 --> 00:02:05.164
sometimes their own businesses,

00:02:05.318 --> 00:02:06.012
kids to care for,

00:02:06.161 --> 00:02:07.251
maybe parents to care for,

00:02:07.398 --> 00:02:08.605
community commitements --

00:02:08.781 --> 00:02:10.474
busy, busy people.

00:02:10.958 --> 00:02:12.766
I had them keep track
of their time for a week

00:02:12.903 --> 00:02:15.265
so I could add up how much
they worked and slept,

00:02:15.436 --> 00:02:17.703
and I interviewed them about
their strategies for my book.

00:02:18.041 --> 00:02:20.174
One of the women whose
time log I studied,

00:02:20.309 --> 00:02:22.866
she goes out on a Wednesday
night for something.

00:02:23.019 --> 00:02:25.187
She comes home to find
that her water heater has broken,

00:02:25.331 --> 00:02:27.837
and there is now water
all over her basement.

00:02:28.570 --> 00:02:30.237
If you've ever had anything
like this happen to you,

00:02:30.417 --> 00:02:33.493
you know it is a hugely damaging,
frightening, sopping mess.

00:02:33.966 --> 00:02:36.535
So she's dealing with the immediate
aftermath that night,

00:02:36.697 --> 00:02:38.145
next day she's got plumbers coming in,

00:02:38.294 --> 00:02:38.793
day after that,

00:02:38.979 --> 00:02:40.932
professional cleaning crew
dealing with the ruined carpet.

00:02:41.287 --> 00:02:43.716
All of this is being recorded
on her time log --

00:02:43.919 --> 00:02:46.357
winds up taking seven hours of her week.

00:02:47.319 --> 00:02:48.481
Seven hours.

00:02:49.377 --> 00:02:52.049
That's like finding
an extra hour in the day.

00:02:53.020 --> 00:02:55.400
But I'm sure if you had asked her
at the start of the week,

00:02:55.578 --> 00:02:59.552
"Could you find seven hours
to train for a triathlon?

00:03:00.132 --> 00:03:04.100
Could you find seven hours
to mentor seven worthy people?"

00:03:04.250 --> 00:03:05.987
I'm sure she would've said
what most of us would've said

00:03:06.175 --> 00:03:08.284
which is, "No.

00:03:08.476 --> 00:03:11.213
Can't you see how busy I am?"

00:03:11.703 --> 00:03:13.523
Yet when she had to find seven hours

00:03:13.681 --> 00:03:16.356
because there is water
all over her basement,

00:03:16.543 --> 00:03:18.832
she found seven hours.

00:03:19.297 --> 00:03:23.298
And what this shows us
is that time is highly elastic.

00:03:23.822 --> 00:03:25.710
We cannot make more time,

00:03:25.970 --> 00:03:29.806
but time will stretch to accommodate
what we choose to put into it.

00:03:30.633 --> 00:03:33.743
And so the key to time management

00:03:33.916 --> 00:03:37.124
is treating our priorities
as the equivalent

00:03:37.299 --> 00:03:39.582
of that broken water heater.

00:03:40.411 --> 00:03:41.336
And to get at this,

00:03:41.548 --> 00:03:44.592
I like to use some language from one
of the busiest people I ever interviewed.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
By busy I mean she was
running a small business

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
with 12 people on the payroll,

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
she had six children
in her spare time ...

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
I was getting in touch with her
to set up an interview

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
on how she "had it all" --

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
that phrase --

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
I remember it was a Thursday morning

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
and she was not available
to speak with me,

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
of course, right?

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
But the reason she was
unavailable to speak with me

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
is that she was out for a hike,

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
because it was a beautiful spring morning,

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
and she wanted to go for a hike.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
So of course this makes me
even more intrigued,

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
and when I finally do catch up her,

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
she explains it like this,

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
she says, "Listen Laura,

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
everything I do,

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
every minute I spend,

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
is my choice."

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
And rather than say,

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
"I don't have time to do x, y or z,"

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
she'd say, "I don't do x, y or z
because it's not a priority."

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
"I don't have time," often means
"It's not a priority."

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
If you think about it,

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
that's really more accurate language.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
I mean I could tell you I don't
have time to dust my blinds,

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
but that's not true.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
If you offered to pay me $100,000
to go dust my blinds,

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
I would get to it pretty quickly.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
(Laughter)

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Since that is not going to happen,

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
I can acknowledge this is not
a matter of lacking time,

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
it's that I don't want to do it.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Using this language reminds us
that time is a choice.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
And granted,

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
there may be horrible consequences
for making different choices,

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
I will give you that,

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
but we are smart people,

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
and certainly over the long-run,

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
we have the power to fill out lives
with the things that deserve to be there.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
So how do we do that?

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
How do we treat our priorities

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
as the equivalent
of that broken water heater?

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Well first we need
to figure out what they are,

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
and I want to give you two strategies
for thinking about this.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
The first,

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
on the professional side.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
I'm sure many people
coming up to the end of the year

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
are giving or getting
annual performance reviews.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
You look back over your
successes over the year,

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
your "opportunities for growth,"

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
and this serves it's purpose,

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
but I find it's more effective
to do this looking forward.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
So I want you to pretend
it's the end of next year.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
You're giving yourself
a performance review,

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
and it has been an absolutely
amazing year for you, professionally.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
What three-to-five things did you do
that made it so amazing?

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
So you can write next year's
performance review now.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
And you can do this for you
personal life, too.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
I'm sure many of you,

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
like me,

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
come December,

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
get cards that contain these folded up
sheets of colored paper,

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
on which is written what is known
as the family holiday letter.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
(Laughter)

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Bit of a wretched
genre of literature, really --

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
(Laughter)

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Going on about how amazing
everyone in the household is,

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
or even more scintillating,

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
how busy everyone in the household is.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
But these letters serve a purpose,

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
which is that they tell
your friends and family

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
what you did in your personal life
that mattered to you

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
over the course of the year.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
So this year's kind of done,

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
but I want you to pretend
it's the end of next year,

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
and it has been an absolutely amazing year

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
for you and the people you care about.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
What three-to-five things did you do
that made it so amazing?

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
So you can write next year's
family holiday letter now.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Don't send it ...

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
(Laughter)

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Please,

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
don't send it.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
But you can write it.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
And now between the performance
review and the family holiday letter,

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
we have a list of six-to-10 goals
we can work on in the next year.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
And now we need to break
these down into doable steps.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
So maybe you want
to write a family history,

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
well first you can read
some other family histories,

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
get a sense for the style.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Then maybe think about the questions
you want to ask your relatives,

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
set up appointments to interview them.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Or maybe you want to run a 5K,

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
so you need to find a race and sign up,

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
and figure out a training plan,

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
and dig those shoes
out of the back of the closet.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
And then --

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
this is key --

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
we treat our priorities as the equivalent
of that broken water heater

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
by putting them into our schedules first.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
And we do this by thinking through
our weeks before we are in them.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
I find a really good time to do this
is Friday afternoons.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Friday afternoon is what an economist
a "low-opportunity cost" time.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Most of us are not sitting there
on Friday afternoons saying,

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
"I am excited to make progress

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
towards my personal and
professional priorities right now."

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
But we are willing to think
about what those should be.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
So take a little bit
of time Friday afternoon,

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
make yourself a
three-category priority list:

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
career, relationships, self.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Making a three-category list

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
reminds us that there should be
something in all three categories.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Career we think about;

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
relationships, self not so much.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
But anyway, just a short list,

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
two-to-three items in each.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Then look out over the whole
of the next week,

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
and see where you can plan them in.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Where you plan them in is up to you.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
And I know this is going to be more
complicated for some people than others.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
I mean some peoples' lives
are just harder than others.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
It is not going to be easy to find
time to take that poetry class

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
if you are caring for multiple
children on your own.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
I get that.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
And I don't want to minimize
anyone's struggle.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
But I do think that the numbers
I am about to tell you are empowering.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
There are 168 hours in a week.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
24 times seven is a 168 hours.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
That is a lot of time.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
If you are working a full-time job,

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
so 40 hours a week,

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
sleeping 8 hours a night,

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
so 56 hours a week --

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
that leaves 72 hours for other things.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
That is a lot of time.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
You say you're working 50 hours a week,

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
maybe a main job and a side hustle.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Well that leaves 62 hours
for other things.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
You say you're working 60 hours,

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
well that leaves 52 hours
for other things.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
You say you're working more than 60 hours.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Well, are you sure?

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
(Laughter)

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
There was once a study comparing
people's estimated work weeks

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
with time diaries --

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
found that people claiming
75-plus hour work weeks

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
we off by about 25 hours.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
(Laughter)

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
You can guess in which direction, right?

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Anyway,

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
in 168 hours a week,

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
I think we can find time
for what matters to you.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
If you want to spend
more time with your kids,

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
you want to study more
for a test you're taking,

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
you want to exercise for three hours
and volunteer for two,

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
you can.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
And that's even if you're working
way more than full-time hours.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
So we have plenty of time,

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
which is great,

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
because guess what?

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
We don't even need that much
time to do amazing things.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
But when most of us have bits of time,

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
what do we do?

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Pull out the phone, right?

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Start deleting emails,

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
or otherwise we're puttering
around the house,

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
or watching TV.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
But small moments can have great power.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
You can use your bits of time

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
for bits of joy.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Maybe it's choosing to read something
wonderful on the bus on the way to work.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
I know when I had a job

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
that required two bus rides
and a subway ride every morning,

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
I used to go to the library on weekends
to get stuff to read.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
It made the whole experience almost ...

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
almost enjoyable.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Breaks at work can be used
for meditating or praying.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
If family dinner is out because
of your crazy work schedule,

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
maybe family breakfast
could be a good substitute.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
It's about looking at
the whole of one's time,

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
and seeing where the good stuff can go.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
I truly believe this.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
There is time.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Even if we are busy,

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
we have time for what matters.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
And when we focus on what matters,

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
we can build the lives we want

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
in the time we've got.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
Thank you.

99:59:59.999 --> 99:59:59.999
(Applause)