When did everyone born after 1980
decide that "No problem" was interchangeable with
"You're welcome"?
Who spread that virus? The Taliban?
Listen, today's young people:
if you want to infuriate someone born before 1980,
just keep telling him "No problem".
when he asks you to do something that's most certainly not a problem.
A very nice young man, who worked for me
used to have a little trouble getting in on time;
like, every day.
About once a week I would say,
"Look, you really have to be at your desk
at 10:00".
Did he say sorry, I'll try to do better?"
No! He would just smile and just say "No problem"!
That nice young man does not
work for me anymore.
Saturday night, I took my wife to a good
restaurant.
The waitress asked if we wanted sparkling
water, still water or tap water.
I said "tap water, please".
She said, "No problem."
I felt like saying, "Why do you think I think
it would be a problem for you to get me a
glass of water?"
Luckily, my wife gave that look that said, "Don't start".
And, of course, my wife was right.
The waitress did not mean to be rude.
So, consider this a public service announcement:
To all the young people of the world:
If you want to get good tips, or
just generally not infuriate older people,
Please...only say "no problem" when there is
a reasonable expectation that the task you
are performing might be problematic.
i.e... thank you for stopping your car in the rain
to help me change a flat tire... "No problem".
Appropriate.
Thank you for lending me ten thousand dollars
to stop the bank from foreclosing on my house.
"No problem". Gracious.
Thank you for giving me your kidney.
No problem...Classy.
That's what "no problem" is for...it's a
gracefully way of telling someone you've gone
out of your way to help not to feel indebted.
But, if you work in a doughnut shop,
and a customer thanks you for selling him
a coffee, don't say "no problem";
he's paying for the coffee!
Just say "You're welcome".
Try it...."thank you" "you're welcome"!
Is that so burdensome?
And look at the bright side...
All of us old people will be dead soon.
And then, everybody born after 1980 can say
"no problem" to each other for the rest of their lives.
Just...hold off until then. OK? Alright?
You're welcome.