WEBVTT

00:00:00.250 --> 00:00:04.950
Want to learn how to make a video about interesting
vegan facts that subversively gives the vegan

00:00:04.950 --> 00:00:09.910
movement a kick in its collective gonads?!
Great! Let’s get started.

00:00:14.400 --> 00:00:18.380
Hi it's Emily from Bite Size Vegan and 
welcome to a special vegan nugget.

00:00:18.380 --> 00:00:20.140
Let's dive right in, shall we.

00:00:20.140 --> 00:00:24.859
We’re going to use the stunning
case study of the recent video posted by WatchMojo,

00:00:24.859 --> 00:00:29.460
the 7th largest YouTube channel with currently
over 10 million subscribers.

00:00:29.460 --> 00:00:33.920
So, how do you make a deliciously 
subversive anti-vegan video out of an

00:00:33.920 --> 00:00:36.780
innocuous-sounding 5 fun facts premise?

00:00:37.760 --> 00:00:38.860
Let's take a look.

00:00:38.860 --> 00:00:41.820
First, call them “the most interesting and
original facts about veganism

00:00:41.820 --> 00:00:43.600
that you might not have heard before.”

00:00:43.600 --> 00:00:47.920
Even though you’re not actually using any
factual basis for your claims and parroting

00:00:47.920 --> 00:00:54.280
many overly tired anti-vegan arguments in
the guise of “original fascinating facts!”

00:00:54.280 --> 00:00:59.940
Second, use lots of clips from popular culture
with the majority doing the vegan mocking for you.

00:00:59.940 --> 00:01:03.000
Simpsons: You don’t win friends with salad! 
You don't win friends with salad!

00:01:03.000 --> 00:01:05.580
27 Dresses: I used to be a vegan, but you know, it was too much of a hassle.

00:01:05.580 --> 00:01:08.540
Oh god, I know, I mean even being a 
vegetarian is a challenge.

00:01:08.760 --> 00:01:13.659
Now let’s dig into the facts. Show you really
mean business by leading with a fact that’s

00:01:13.659 --> 00:01:18.220
not even really about veganism and is a borderline
non-sequitor. “At least two independent

00:01:18.220 --> 00:01:22.060
studies looking at fossil evidence suggest
that eating cooked foods, including meat,

00:01:22.060 --> 00:01:26.119
helped our ancestors brains grow over millions
of years into the brains humans have today.”

00:01:26.119 --> 00:01:29.909
Now just hope that people didn’t listen
to your own words that it was the process

00:01:29.909 --> 00:01:33.680
of cooking, not the meat consumption, that
most aided in brain development,

00:01:33.680 --> 00:01:37.100
a view also supported by Harvard 
anthropologist Richard Wrangham.

00:01:37.110 --> 00:01:41.340
Also don’t mention the fact that the human
brain runs primarily on glucose, not proteins

00:01:41.340 --> 00:01:45.940
and fats, meaning higher starch consumption
primarily fueled our brain growth.

00:01:45.940 --> 00:01:52.340
Ignore any articles, studies or scientists who point
to our ancestors largely vegetarian diets.

00:01:52.340 --> 00:01:57.479
To really bring your point home, show a clip
from Gladiator, but for the love of all that

00:01:57.479 --> 00:02:02.689
is holy, do not to mention any studies showing
that the gladiators were primarily vegan.

00:02:02.689 --> 00:02:06.290
“They analyzed these gladiators. In this
case they looked at the bones of the gladiators

00:02:06.290 --> 00:02:11.870
and they looked at the mineral content and
found they had a low zinc, high strontium

00:02:11.870 --> 00:02:17.760
content, which indicated that their diet was
very, very vegetarian. In fact they called it vegan.

00:02:17.760 --> 00:02:19.120
The galdiators.

00:02:19.120 --> 00:02:23.760
And most of all, be sure not to actually cite
any studies supporting your claims

00:02:23.760 --> 00:02:25.900
outside of a screenshot of an article.

00:02:25.910 --> 00:02:31.820
By the way all the claims in this video have
citations in the blog post linked below.

00:02:31.820 --> 00:02:33.940
And you thought I was just 
pulling this out of my…

00:02:33.940 --> 00:02:39.380
And don’t worry about the fact that what
our ancestors did or did not do has no bearing

00:02:39.390 --> 00:02:43.459
on the choices we make today. 
No one cares about logic.

00:02:43.459 --> 00:02:46.359
For your next fact, offer up a statistic.

00:02:46.360 --> 00:02:49.760
People f--king love statistics 
and it makes you sound smart.

00:02:49.760 --> 00:02:54.500
“Up to 6% of the United States is vegan and a large majority of non-meat eaters are women."

00:02:54.500 --> 00:02:59.680
Good. Now throw in a comment that reminds
people just how f---ing awful being vegan is.

00:02:59.680 --> 00:03:03.099
“It’s no surprise that vegans are
in the minority when it comes to their diet.”

00:03:03.099 --> 00:03:08.400
And in case any men are considering veganism,
be sure to emasculate them with stats:

00:03:08.400 --> 00:03:13.260
"Up to 74% of those who don’t eat meat, whether
they be vegetarians or vegans are female.”

00:03:13.260 --> 00:03:17.550
And definitely don’t show them pictures
of these vegans.

00:03:17.550 --> 00:03:22.780
Then to seal the deal, show a clip of such
a female vegan saying something outrageous,

00:03:22.780 --> 00:03:25.360
“you should absolutely be forced to be vegan.”

00:03:25.360 --> 00:03:26.580
Excellent.

00:03:26.580 --> 00:03:30.620
For your next fact, back off a little bit 
in case people are catching on

00:03:30.620 --> 00:03:34.060
to your real aim and mention 
something nice about veganism.

00:03:34.060 --> 00:03:37.480
“Number Three: A vegan diet sees better results in weight loss attempts."

00:03:37.480 --> 00:03:39.269
That’s nice.

00:03:39.269 --> 00:03:43.900
Now that you have them lulled into a sense
of security, it’s time for the big guns.

00:03:43.900 --> 00:03:47.600
“Number Two: A vegan diet may lead to an
increased risk of heart disease.”

00:03:47.600 --> 00:03:53.320
Oh yes, my friend. You are going there. Before people
freak out, be sure to toss them something

00:03:53.330 --> 00:03:58.319
marginally scientific-sounding. It’s safest
to stick with a widely held misconception

00:03:58.319 --> 00:04:02.420
about veganism so they don’t have to do
much work to believe you.

00:04:02.420 --> 00:04:08.140
“A vegan diet often lacks several key nutrients.”
Nailed it. Bring it home with some elaboration

00:04:08.140 --> 00:04:11.590
and, if you can, a 3D rendering 
of some medical stuff.

00:04:11.590 --> 00:04:16.220
“such as omega 3 fatty acids and vitamin
b12, which leads to an increased risk of developing

00:04:16.220 --> 00:04:17.870
blood clots or hardened arteries.”

00:04:17.870 --> 00:04:22.889
Definitely don’t link to a playlist like
this with a medical doctor whose specialty

00:04:22.889 --> 00:04:28.060
is clinical nutrition responding to every
major nutrient of concern when going vegan.

00:04:28.060 --> 00:04:31.680
But be sure to give them a little credit in
a backhanded statement

00:04:31.680 --> 00:04:34.000
that actually lends more credence to your cause.

00:04:34.010 --> 00:04:37.750
"Research done at St. Michael's hospial in Toronto shows that a low carb vegan diet can

00:04:37.750 --> 00:04:41.720
decrease the risk of heart disease 
by as much as much as 10% over 10 years.”

00:04:41.729 --> 00:04:46.370
Completely ignore the fact that a plant-based
diet is the only way of eating that not only

00:04:46.370 --> 00:04:51.470
prevents but actually reverses heart disease.
Or that eating animal products raises your

00:04:51.470 --> 00:04:55.180
cholesterol, the one true risk factor 
for heart disease.

00:04:55.180 --> 00:04:58.240
It's either plants or Lipitor, people.

00:04:58.240 --> 00:05:01.440
And certainly don’t tell them about the 
disgusting amount of peer-reviewed

00:05:01.440 --> 00:05:05.560
studies linked on the blog post for this video
supporting this claim.

00:05:05.570 --> 00:05:09.360
Then close it out this section with some vague
comment that allows the viewers to continue

00:05:09.360 --> 00:05:14.199
eating exactly the way they are. “maybe
the takeaway is that when it comes to nutrition,

00:05:14.199 --> 00:05:17.389
science will contradict itself eventually
and what was going to make you live forever

00:05:17.389 --> 00:05:21.470
is now going to kill you and visa versa”
totally sidestepping, of course, that your

00:05:21.470 --> 00:05:25.460
video is a shining example of the source of
such confusion.

00:05:25.460 --> 00:05:31.820
Then, throw down the ultimate vegan trump
card “and I give up, give me a bacon milkshake.”

00:05:31.820 --> 00:05:41.949
Because this is an original video, remember.
And no vegan has ever heard the bacon argument.

00:05:41.949 --> 00:05:44.340
Genius.

00:05:44.340 --> 00:05:48.580
Now in case anyone is still considering going
vegan, crown this masterpiece

00:05:48.580 --> 00:05:51.500
with a fact that will shut them down before they start.

00:05:51.500 --> 00:05:55.360
"Number one: The majority of people who attempt a vegan diet abandon it."

00:05:55.360 --> 00:05:58.040
Make sure you make it sound like it’s really hard

00:05:58.050 --> 00:06:01.140
not to torture and kill animals for food.

00:06:01.140 --> 00:06:06.600
Also make sure not to say how the majority
of people who start an exercise program also quit,

00:06:06.600 --> 00:06:12.300
because people may realize it’s not
the exercise or veganism’s fault – it’s the people.

00:06:12.300 --> 00:06:16.320
Just say, “The most common reasons for getting
back on the meat train are problems like

00:06:16.320 --> 00:06:20.320
boredom with veggie food options and finding it difficult to sustain a meat-free diet.”

00:06:20.320 --> 00:06:25.400
And do not include this clip: “Because once
you rule out the flesh of animals’ bodies,

00:06:25.410 --> 00:06:31.770
the secretions and objects that come out of
their orifices, there’s just really nothing left to eat."

00:06:31.770 --> 00:06:36.800
Now wrap up this whole shebang with the most
shocking statement you can find from a vegan,

00:06:36.810 --> 00:06:40.870
take it out of any context of course, and
show how insane they really are...

00:06:40.870 --> 00:06:45.510
"you just gotta step the f—ck up or you really 
don’t deserve to live on this planet.”

00:06:45.510 --> 00:06:52.440
Really focus on this one shocking thing that one vegan said, and totally ignore the countless shocking

00:06:52.440 --> 00:06:58.740
things that every non-vegan pays for and supports
with every bite they take.

00:06:58.740 --> 00:07:03.180
And if someone has the nerve to respond to
your claims with facts, make sure to

00:07:03.180 --> 00:07:06.820
hang on to your ambiguous 
wording with a death grip.

00:07:06.820 --> 00:07:11.240
And whatever you do, don’t tell the truth.

00:07:11.240 --> 00:07:14.920
Now I don’t know what your motivation was
for making this video. We already know that the

00:07:14.920 --> 00:07:20.880
American Egg Board, with the USDA’s approval, paid
$33,000 to popular food bloggers for positive

00:07:20.889 --> 00:07:27.100
pieces on the wonders of eggs. 
So maybe you got a little financial boost.

00:07:27.100 --> 00:07:31.560
I hope you enjoyed this instructional video.
Please share this video in the comments of

00:07:31.569 --> 00:07:36.210
WatchMojo’s video and on their Twitter,
Instagram and Facebook, all linked below.

00:07:36.210 --> 00:07:39.560
If you want to help support future videos, 
click right here or

00:07:39.560 --> 00:07:41.620
the support links in the video description below.

00:07:41.630 --> 00:07:45.379
Give the video a thumbs up and spread it around
to debunk this propaganda

00:07:45.379 --> 00:07:49.339
and if you want some actual information 
on veganism, check out some of my videos

00:07:49.340 --> 00:07:53.800
linked here and more below. 
Subscribe for more vegan content every

00:07:53.800 --> 00:07:55.900
Monday, Wednesday, and some Fridays.

00:07:55.900 --> 00:07:59.920
Now go live vegan, don’t buy the propaganda,
and I’ll see you soon.

00:07:59.920 --> 00:08:02.100
Dr. Greger: How about our number one killer?

00:08:02.100 --> 00:08:07.220
The number one killer of men and women. The number one reason you and everyone you love will die...

00:08:07.920 --> 00:08:08.940
...heart disease....

00:08:09.780 --> 00:08:14.400
...can be prevented, arrested, treated and cured with diet alone.