0:00:52.833,0:00:56.667 One, two, three... 0:00:59.066,0:01:00.328 Yo, what comes after three? 0:01:00.700,0:01:02.827 Four. Four comes after three. 0:01:03.000,0:01:04.991 - I don't hear you counting.[br]- Four. 0:01:06.400,0:01:08.061 Four. 0:01:08.233,0:01:10.758 - Five.[br]- Five. 0:02:03.666,0:02:07.500 One, two, three... 0:02:07.666,0:02:09.725 ...three, three. 0:02:09.900,0:02:11.162 Yo, what comes after three? 0:02:11.533,0:02:13.660 Four. Four comes after three. 0:02:13.833,0:02:15.824 - I don't hear you counting.[br]- Four. 0:02:17.233,0:02:18.894 Four. 0:02:19.066,0:02:21.591 - Five.[br]- Five. 0:02:21.766,0:02:24.234 - Six.[br]- Six. Faster. 0:02:24.400,0:02:27.164 - Seven, eight.[br]- Sims. Sims! 0:02:27.333,0:02:28.766 You're going home. 0:02:37.466,0:02:39.093 I'll see you around, sweet mouth. 0:02:40.433,0:02:42.094 Inmate on deck. 0:02:42.766,0:02:44.961 - He'll be back.[br]- What's up, baby? 0:02:45.133,0:02:46.657 See you around, big man. 0:02:47.933,0:02:49.594 Gate open. 0:03:12.199,0:03:14.361 Where the hell is this guy? 0:03:24.366,0:03:26.596 Cal. Cal. 0:03:31.533,0:03:33.899 - What an idiot.[br]- Let me pop this door for my man. 0:03:34.066,0:03:36.057 My main man,[br]just getting home from prison. 0:03:38.833,0:03:42.428 - Percy.[br]- I'm sorry, Cal. 0:03:42.599,0:03:44.227 You stupid? 0:03:45.900,0:03:48.835 All right, wait. Hold up.[br]So they want us to steal a diamond? 0:03:49.000,0:03:52.993 - How much your man Walken paying?[br]- Dig this. A hundred G's. 0:03:53.166,0:03:55.134 A hundred G's? 0:03:55.333,0:03:57.597 - That's good loot.[br]- Enough to get my label started. 0:03:58.133,0:04:00.966 Let me give you a taste[br]of my first single. 0:04:03.400,0:04:05.163 - It's fire.[br]- Yeah. 0:04:06.566,0:04:08.124 Never been shot before... 0:04:08.300,0:04:11.736 ...but I've been beat about the skull[br]and the neck area with a crowbar. 0:04:11.900,0:04:13.663 Check the lyrics, check the lyrics. 0:04:14.133,0:04:15.862 I'll take you to the butcher shop 0:04:16.333,0:04:18.563 Let you lick a big pork chop 0:04:18.733,0:04:20.894 Girl, I know you like ham hocks 0:04:21.065,0:04:24.365 If you're Jewish, I even got lox[br]Hey! Hey! 0:04:25.266,0:04:26.597 Yo, camel-mouth. 0:04:26.766,0:04:30.361 - That's 50 Cent.[br]- Cal, that's not 50 Cent. 0:04:30.533,0:04:31.830 He talk about candy. 0:04:32.533,0:04:34.398 I'm talking about meat. 0:04:34.566,0:04:37.262 That's a whole other level. P-Unit. 0:04:37.433,0:04:39.594 You better off stuffing your money[br]in a mattress. 0:04:39.766,0:04:42.530 Yeah. I bet you gonna[br]mess your money up... 0:04:42.699,0:04:44.167 ...on booze and cheap hookers. 0:04:44.333,0:04:45.561 - So?[br]- What you need to do... 0:04:45.733,0:04:48.201 ...is iust find you a nice girl[br]and settle down, Cal. 0:04:48.366,0:04:50.197 Come on, P,[br]you know that ain't happening. 0:04:50.366,0:04:52.732 I mean, you being all short and all. 0:04:53.566,0:04:55.431 Let me tell you something[br]about love. 0:04:55.600,0:04:59.161 I never had it. I don't want it.[br]I don't need it. All right? 0:05:00.166,0:05:02.828 You ain't gotta keep hitting me, Calvin.[br]I'm not your child. 0:05:03.000,0:05:06.902 How am I gonna be a hard-core rapper[br]if you keep putting your hands on me? 0:05:07.066,0:05:12.163 Don't push me[br]Because I'm close to the edge 0:05:12.333,0:05:15.200 Check this out. You hang in the back[br]until Vanessa gets here. 0:05:15.366,0:05:16.958 When I give a signal, you come out. 0:05:17.133,0:05:18.191 That's cool. I got you. 0:05:18.366,0:05:21.028 Hey, Jimmy, please, man.[br]This is the biggest day of my life. 0:05:21.199,0:05:24.499 - It's gotta go off right, okay?[br]- Baby, what'd I tell you? I got you. 0:05:24.666,0:05:26.156 And can I say something? 0:05:26.333,0:05:29.097 - Congratulations, man.[br]- Thank you. 0:05:29.266,0:05:32.099 You done stepped up to the plate.[br]Give me a hug, homeboy. 0:05:32.266,0:05:35.429 Oh, man, you done did it,[br]you know. 0:05:37.500,0:05:40.367 Hey, man, you ain't had to do this. 0:05:41.366,0:05:42.924 You know, the valet tripping. 0:05:43.100,0:05:45.568 - Made me park around the corner.[br]- Jimmy, get- Beat it. 0:05:45.733,0:05:47.360 - Thank you. Thank you.[br]- Get on it. 0:05:51.966,0:05:54.730 - Hi.[br]- Hey, beautiful. 0:05:56.266,0:05:58.860 So I'm so glad[br]that you got out of work to be here. 0:05:59.199,0:06:03.967 You think I wouldn't take off work?[br]And miss this? Are you crazy? 0:06:04.133,0:06:05.862 Look at you, beautiful. 0:06:06.033,0:06:08.900 - You are glowing. My God.[br]- Thank you. 0:06:10.199,0:06:12.065 It feels like it was iust yesterday... 0:06:12.566,0:06:15.558 ...sitting in this same restaurant,[br]when I asked you to marry me. 0:06:16.399,0:06:19.233 I'm still working on that diamond.[br]I didn't forget the diamond. 0:06:19.399,0:06:23.063 I know, baby. You are the sweetest,[br]most supportive man on the planet. 0:06:24.800,0:06:25.824 Can I talk now? 0:06:26.000,0:06:27.968 - I'm sorry. Go ahead.[br]- Okay. 0:06:28.133,0:06:30.863 So you know what I've been waiting[br]all week to find out. 0:06:31.033,0:06:32.728 Yes. Yep. 0:06:32.899,0:06:35.095 - Well, I got the news...[br]- Yeah. 0:06:35.266,0:06:38.758 - ... and I'm-[br]- Pregnant. Yes! Yes! 0:06:39.266,0:06:41.826 - Having my baby[br]- Oh, no. 0:06:42.000,0:06:43.831 - Is so important to me[br]- No. No, no. 0:06:44.000,0:06:45.900 - Darryl. Darryl.[br]- Baby. 0:06:46.066,0:06:49.229 - There's nothing more special[br]- Darryl- No, honey, I'm not pregnant. 0:06:49.399,0:06:51.231 - I'm not pregnant.[br]- Than to raise a family 0:06:51.399,0:06:53.868 - Excuse me, sir. Sir. Sir.[br]- I thought that you- 0:06:54.033,0:06:55.159 - Hey.[br]- And- 0:06:55.333,0:06:56.800 - Sir.[br]- Jimmy. 0:06:57.399,0:06:59.334 - And-[br]- Sir! 0:06:59.899,0:07:01.993 No. Stop. No. 0:07:03.066,0:07:04.328 I'm not pregnant. 0:07:05.366,0:07:07.391 - No?[br]- No. 0:07:12.699,0:07:13.689 You're not pregnant? 0:07:13.866,0:07:16.733 Baby, but you was nauseous[br]and throwing up all over the place. 0:07:16.899,0:07:18.265 Well, I was very nervous. 0:07:19.000,0:07:20.661 Baby, what are we doing here? 0:07:21.766,0:07:22.994 Darryl... 0:07:23.166,0:07:24.963 ...I got the promotion. 0:07:25.133,0:07:28.569 And we're movin' on up[br]To the east side 0:07:28.733,0:07:29.995 Jimmy. 0:07:30.166,0:07:32.634 They'll be movin' on up[br]To that apartment in the sky 0:07:32.800,0:07:36.702 - I'm gonna hurt him.[br]- Hey. Hey, Jimmy. Jimmy, stop. 0:07:36.866,0:07:39.096 - Man- Man, you ain't got to do this.[br]- Hey... 0:07:39.600,0:07:41.568 - Okay, then. All right.[br]- Beat it. 0:07:44.033,0:07:46.263 Congratulations.[br]I'm really proud of you. 0:07:48.833,0:07:50.232 But? 0:07:51.100,0:07:53.227 But I thought we was gonna[br]start a family. 0:07:54.633,0:07:56.533 We will, baby. 0:07:57.000,0:08:00.231 You know, with this promotion,[br]everything's on track now. 0:08:00.399,0:08:04.427 In a couple of years I'll be senior V.P.,[br]and I can take time off to have a child. 0:08:04.600,0:08:06.568 A couple of years?[br]I don't wanna wait years. 0:08:06.733,0:08:09.065 Darryl, you know,[br]having a baby changes everything. 0:08:09.500,0:08:11.297 Hey, I'm willing to do[br]whatever it takes. 0:08:11.466,0:08:13.559 So no more late-night poker[br]with the guys. 0:08:14.333,0:08:15.322 Cool. 0:08:15.966,0:08:17.263 No more... 0:08:17.433,0:08:19.162 ...afternoon quickies. 0:08:19.333,0:08:21.824 Stop right there.[br]We haven't had a afternoon quickie... 0:08:22.000,0:08:23.331 ...since your father moved in. 0:08:23.500,0:08:27.095 That is not fair. My dad is getting old.[br]Sometimes he forgets things. 0:08:27.266,0:08:29.564 I don't feel comfortable[br]with him living by himself. 0:08:29.733,0:08:30.995 What about Whispering Glen? 0:08:31.166,0:08:33.726 That place looked like a country club[br]inside the brochure. 0:08:33.899,0:08:35.832 They got Viagra vending machines. 0:08:36.000,0:08:36.989 You listen to me. 0:08:37.166,0:08:40.727 Until he is a danger to himself[br]or others, he is staying with us. 0:08:42.566,0:08:43.760 Now... 0:08:43.933,0:08:45.594 ...can we celebrate? 0:08:45.766,0:08:50.760 Celebration, come on[br]We gonna celebrate tonight 0:08:50.933,0:08:54.164 Come on, come on, let's celebrate[br]Let's not have a fight 0:08:54.333,0:08:56.494 And I'm not talking tonight 0:08:56.666,0:08:58.600 Remix![br]Now just you ladies 0:08:59.299,0:09:03.760 Celebrate, celebrate[br]Celebrate, celebrate 0:09:16.500,0:09:18.764 Hey, oblivious.[br]What are you doing? 0:09:18.933,0:09:21.026 Getting ready to rob a iewelry store,[br]Calvin. 0:09:21.200,0:09:22.690 I'm going straight Jesse James. 0:09:22.866,0:09:26.097 Percy, put the gun away. Guns[br]is how you wind up back in prison. 0:09:26.266,0:09:29.895 I'm telling you, I ain't going back[br]to jail. You understand? 0:09:30.066,0:09:31.761 Now put the gun away. 0:09:32.200,0:09:33.758 Why you gotta keep hitting me, Cal? 0:09:33.933,0:09:36.595 Sometimes I gotta slap[br]some sense into you, Percy. 0:09:36.766,0:09:37.824 Come on. Give me a hand. 0:09:42.033,0:09:43.500 Now, would you trust the big man? 0:09:44.933,0:09:46.423 I got a plan, yo. 0:09:47.066,0:09:52.231 Now, this stone is a 3-karat,[br]G- color diamond. 0:09:52.399,0:09:56.200 - VVS2, nearly flawless.[br]- It's been a pleasure, sir. 0:09:56.600,0:09:58.158 Just be cool, Cal. I'm telling you. 0:09:58.466,0:10:00.627 Oh, there she go. There's- 0:10:00.799,0:10:02.267 Go ahead. Do your thing, Cal. 0:10:12.966,0:10:15.434 Pardon me for iust a moment. 0:10:17.600,0:10:19.830 - Do your thing.[br]- Yes? May I help you? 0:10:21.500,0:10:25.197 Percy. CEO and A&R[br]of P-Unit Records. 0:10:25.366,0:10:27.357 Here to pick up iewelry[br]for one of my artists. 0:10:27.833,0:10:29.858 Well, holler at your girl. 0:10:31.233,0:10:32.598 Step this way, Percy P. 0:10:32.766,0:10:34.757 I like the way you said[br]my name just now. 0:10:34.933,0:10:36.491 Can I sit down? She's sitting down. 0:10:36.666,0:10:38.998 Of course you may.[br]Would you like some gin and juice? 0:10:57.433,0:10:59.901 Well, I'm gonna show you[br]some shiznit right about now. 0:11:03.233,0:11:06.828 Yes. Come to daddy. 0:11:18.799,0:11:21.030 Now that's what[br]I'm talking about, baby. 0:11:21.200,0:11:23.327 So, what can I get for you[br]today, Percy P.? 0:11:25.233,0:11:27.201 All of the above. 0:11:31.100,0:11:33.500 I'll send one of my assistants[br]from P-Unit Records... 0:11:33.666,0:11:34.928 ...to pick everything up. 0:11:35.100,0:11:39.093 Just tell him to pull up to my bumper,[br]and I'll throw that junk in his trunk. 0:11:39.733,0:11:40.893 Word? 0:11:42.066,0:11:44.125 Let me get up out of here.[br]I gotta bounce. 0:11:44.299,0:11:46.768 I got some people meeting me[br]down there, and I gotta... 0:11:47.100,0:11:49.159 So I'm gonna leave, you know? 0:11:49.566,0:11:52.831 - Okay? See you later, all right? Peace.[br]- Peace. 0:11:54.633,0:11:56.157 Be cool. What's going on in there? 0:11:56.333,0:11:57.994 Has anyone seen my dog? 0:11:59.633,0:12:00.657 Hi, puppy. 0:12:06.066,0:12:07.590 He stole my dog. 0:12:10.000,0:12:10.989 Holy crap. 0:12:11.866,0:12:13.766 The Queen's diamond. It's gone. 0:12:13.933,0:12:16.697 Relax. We almost there, man.[br]We about to be paid, man. 0:12:16.866,0:12:19.664 I need the police.[br]Yes, there's been a robbery. 0:12:22.000,0:12:25.060 We did it. Modern-day[br]Butch Cassidy and Sundance. 0:12:25.233,0:12:27.428 Come back here with my dog. 0:12:28.033,0:12:30.593 - Get out of here, mutt.[br]- You just tossed a Chihuahua. 0:12:30.766,0:12:33.599 - Come on, let's get out of here.[br]- Gotcha that. We are gone. 0:12:33.766,0:12:35.063 Come on, Percy. 0:12:37.833,0:12:40.358 - Oh, man.[br]- This ain't time to be doing doughnuts. 0:12:43.733,0:12:45.030 I can't believe this, man. 0:12:45.366,0:12:46.924 Damn it, Percy. 0:12:47.100,0:12:50.001 You got a boot on the car,[br]and you about to get one in your butt. 0:12:50.166,0:12:52.100 - She finally got me.[br]- Who? 0:12:52.266,0:12:55.167 Nettie, down at Motor Vehicles.[br]Said I got her pregnant. 0:12:55.333,0:12:57.767 I went to family court.[br]I had all my receipts. 0:12:58.733,0:12:59.859 I'm out. 0:13:00.933,0:13:03.595 - Hey, yo, Percy. You forgot something.[br]- What? 0:13:03.766,0:13:05.597 Me! 0:13:06.500,0:13:09.492 - Come on![br]- Sorry, Cal. 0:13:17.533,0:13:19.467 - They went that way.[br]- What'd he look like? 0:13:19.633,0:13:21.191 - Black.[br]- I got him. 0:13:21.366,0:13:23.493 - Dark or light?[br]- Medium. 0:13:23.666,0:13:26.157 Suspect is escaping on foot.[br]African-American male. 0:13:26.333,0:13:29.166 About 5'1 O", not real dark,[br]more of a mocha-caramel color. 0:13:39.200,0:13:40.724 What? You shot? 0:13:40.966,0:13:43.867 Sweet beiesus.[br]My muscle, I think I pulled it. 0:13:44.033,0:13:45.830 Quick. In here. 0:13:48.666,0:13:50.691 Yo, quick, put me down.[br]We gotta split up. 0:13:50.866,0:13:52.390 Okay. 0:14:00.766,0:14:03.997 It's late because of the stress,[br]not because I'm pregnant. 0:14:04.166,0:14:07.658 Please, don't even say words like[br]"stress. " It's not good for the baby. 0:14:08.166,0:14:10.361 Darryl, there is no baby. 0:14:10.533,0:14:12.660 - Aisle two.[br]- Well, why didn't you just say that? 0:14:24.266,0:14:27.633 - Okay, let's go.[br]- Okay, fine. Just humor me, okay? 0:14:27.799,0:14:29.495 - Okay, let's go.[br]- Okay. 0:14:33.433,0:14:37.369 - Enough.[br]- Okay, okay. 0:14:43.700,0:14:45.327 I got one! 0:14:50.733,0:14:53.725 - Come on, man.[br]- Do not resist. Do not resist. 0:14:53.899,0:14:55.834 - I'm not resisting.[br]- Wilson. Wilson. Wilson. 0:14:56.000,0:14:57.433 Come on. It's not our guy. 0:14:57.600,0:14:59.830 What? You said African-American. 0:15:00.133,0:15:02.431 Yeah, but I said[br]a mocha-caramel color. 0:15:02.600,0:15:05.262 He's like a Starbucks black decaf,[br]maybe a little cream. 0:15:05.733,0:15:07.997 - It's not our guy. Sorry about that.[br]- Come on, man. 0:15:08.166,0:15:10.828 - You sure?[br]- Yeah. He's okay. 0:15:13.733,0:15:15.860 - Wilson![br]- Well, he looked mocha to me. 0:15:18.200,0:15:20.998 - Thank you.[br]- What? 0:15:23.166,0:15:25.600 He looked real shady. He gonna[br]do something else, and I'll be waiting. 0:15:28.200,0:15:29.758 - You still got the diamond?[br]- No. 0:15:29.933,0:15:31.730 - I had to ditch it.[br]- Where? 0:15:33.266,0:15:34.824 In her bag. 0:15:35.000,0:15:36.399 Calvin, now what? 0:15:36.566,0:15:37.658 We go get it. 0:15:40.566,0:15:42.397 Let's go. Come on. 0:15:49.933,0:15:51.833 Follow that car. 0:16:13.833,0:16:15.027 Yo, there they are. 0:16:15.200,0:16:16.428 - There is no baby.[br]- There is. 0:16:16.600,0:16:19.068 - Honey, there is no baby.[br]- Well, there will be. 0:16:20.100,0:16:21.567 Let's go. 0:16:27.033,0:16:28.227 Daddy, we're home. 0:16:28.600,0:16:32.161 - There's my baby girl.[br]- Hi, Daddy. 0:16:34.100,0:16:36.159 Who's the best daddy[br]in the whole, wide world? 0:16:36.333,0:16:38.699 - I am.[br]- I know you can do better than that. 0:16:38.866,0:16:41.096 Who's the best daddy[br]in the whole, wide world? 0:16:41.266,0:16:44.030 - I am.[br]- I can't hear you. 0:16:44.200,0:16:46.361 I'm the best daddy[br]in the whole, wide world! 0:16:59.433,0:17:00.832 So, what's the good news? 0:17:01.000,0:17:02.433 Dad... 0:17:02.600,0:17:04.031 ...I got the promotion. 0:17:04.665,0:17:08.693 Congratulations. Soon you'll make[br]enough money to leave that bum. 0:17:08.866,0:17:10.560 Oh, Dad, he's not a bum. 0:17:10.733,0:17:13.429 No? What kind of man[br]gives the woman he loves... 0:17:13.598,0:17:15.192 ...a wedding ring with no diamond? 0:17:15.366,0:17:18.529 Hey, as soon as I make enough[br]money, I'm gonna buy her a diamond. 0:17:18.700,0:17:21.098 And I'm going to do the nasty[br]with Jennifer Lopez... 0:17:21.266,0:17:24.165 ...while Halle Berry tickle my butt. 0:17:25.233,0:17:27.929 You know, for a moment[br]I thought you were gonna tell me... 0:17:28.098,0:17:30.159 ...you were gonna let this one[br]impregnate you. 0:17:30.333,0:17:33.063 But I see now, this man[br]ain't got no bullets in the chamber. 0:17:33.233,0:17:34.700 What's that supposed to mean? 0:17:34.866,0:17:36.834 You heard me.[br]You're shooting blanks. 0:17:37.000,0:17:39.662 - Cooking with a wet noodle.[br]- What? 0:17:39.833,0:17:41.664 Can't hoist the mainsail 0:17:41.833,0:17:45.234 My sperm have fallen[br]and it can't get up. 0:17:45.400,0:17:47.391 I'll have you know,[br]I hit that every night. 0:17:47.566,0:17:49.397 Hey, that's my daughter[br]you talking about. 0:17:49.566,0:17:52.330 - Back up, old man.[br]- Okay, okay. Stop. Stop. Please. 0:17:52.500,0:17:53.524 Gentlemen. 0:17:53.700,0:17:58.637 Dad, we are going to have a baby[br]when the time is right. 0:17:59.433,0:18:01.628 Play nice. 0:18:08.966,0:18:10.160 It's still in the bag. 0:18:11.233,0:18:14.134 Still in the bag.[br]Let's go get the rock. 0:18:14.299,0:18:17.861 Yo, Percy, how many times[br]I gotta tell you? No guns. 0:18:18.033,0:18:19.022 What we gonna do? 0:18:19.200,0:18:22.169 Walken is gonna kill us[br]if we don't give him the diamond. 0:18:22.333,0:18:24.358 Then I guess we gotta find[br]a way to sneak in. 0:18:28.566,0:18:31.330 Well, they did say[br]they wanted a baby. 0:18:32.266,0:18:34.632 No. No. 0:18:34.799,0:18:37.530 No. I ain't dressing up like no baby. 0:18:38.599,0:18:41.433 Keep still, Cal. You heavy.[br]You gonna make me drop you. 0:18:41.599,0:18:44.091 You drop me[br]and I'm gonna drop you. 0:18:44.266,0:18:45.927 Now, look, you stay close. 0:18:46.099,0:18:48.694 I'm gonna go in, I'm gonna[br]get the diamond, and I'm out. 0:18:48.866,0:18:53.166 If you don't mind me saying, Cal,[br]you make a cute little baby. 0:18:53.333,0:18:54.391 I'm out. 0:18:54.566,0:18:56.830 You couldn't find[br]nothing better than a dog basket? 0:18:57.000,0:19:00.436 You iust be cool. I told you,[br]this gonna be great, Cal. 0:19:04.400,0:19:06.231 Just hold tight.[br]Everything gonna be fine. 0:19:06.400,0:19:08.561 I'm gonna be over here[br]in the bushes. 0:19:17.466,0:19:18.728 Move, dog. 0:19:18.900,0:19:20.925 Get out of here.[br]I'll make a coat out of you. 0:19:21.099,0:19:23.432 Get out of here[br]before I feed you some chocolate. 0:19:24.099,0:19:26.568 Get out of here, you fleabag. 0:19:26.733,0:19:28.394 - Go.[br]- Get out of here. 0:19:28.566,0:19:30.591 Wait, hold-[br]Wait. Muttley, wait. No, no. 0:19:46.433,0:19:47.832 Honey. 0:19:48.000,0:19:49.729 - Yeah?[br]- Come here. 0:19:50.099,0:19:51.931 - What is it, Darryl?[br]- Look. 0:19:54.833,0:19:56.596 Oh, my God. 0:19:56.766,0:19:58.233 It's a baby. 0:20:00.200,0:20:02.225 I know. And here's a note too. 0:20:02.566,0:20:04.761 "Plez luk tafter Kalvin. 0:20:04.933,0:20:08.425 We wuzn't abele to keap em. " 0:20:08.599,0:20:10.534 Poor guy.[br]His parents must've been retarded. 0:20:11.400,0:20:12.992 Well, let's get him inside. 0:20:13.166,0:20:15.532 - It's cold out here.[br]- Okay, okay. All right. 0:20:15.700,0:20:16.894 Come on, little guy. 0:20:17.066,0:20:18.931 - Yes.[br]- I got you. 0:20:21.766,0:20:23.324 Oh, damn. 0:20:23.866,0:20:25.993 - What in the hell is that?[br]- I don't know. 0:20:27.433,0:20:28.832 Man. 0:20:29.233,0:20:31.497 Dad, we found a baby[br]on the doorstep. 0:20:31.666,0:20:34.362 - What? What is it? A boy or girl?[br]- Dada. 0:20:34.633,0:20:35.998 I think it's a boy. 0:20:36.166,0:20:38.327 Well, whatever it is,[br]it smell like piss. 0:20:39.466,0:20:42.162 Yeah. I think Janet may have left[br]diapers here. Let's look. 0:20:42.333,0:20:44.392 Doesn't your dad have some[br]diapers upstairs? 0:20:44.566,0:20:47.160 I heard that. I don't wear diapers.[br]Who you talking about? 0:20:47.766,0:20:49.256 Haven't worn a diaper in years. 0:20:49.433,0:20:51.424 I think she put them in here. 0:20:58.799,0:21:00.358 What is it? 0:21:02.266,0:21:04.427 That ain't no baby.[br]That's a porn star. 0:21:05.200,0:21:08.169 What on girth is that? 0:21:09.000,0:21:11.366 I'm gonna call Child Services. 0:21:11.533,0:21:12.591 - Yeah.[br]- Yeah. Do that. 0:21:19.000,0:21:20.092 Directory assistance. 0:21:20.266,0:21:23.064 Yes, can I have the number[br]for Child Services, please? 0:21:23.233,0:21:24.894 Connecting you. 0:21:25.766,0:21:28.428 Child Services is now closed[br]for the weekend. 0:21:28.599,0:21:32.127 We will re-open at 9 a. m.[br]Monday morning. 0:21:36.233,0:21:37.666 They're closed for the weekend. 0:21:37.833,0:21:40.597 The office doesn't open[br]until 9:OO on Monday morning. 0:21:41.433,0:21:42.525 So, what do we do now? 0:21:42.966,0:21:46.333 I say, toss this creature back in[br]the Black Lagoon where it came from. 0:21:46.500,0:21:47.660 Daddy, stop it. 0:21:48.400,0:21:50.561 Maybe we should call the police. 0:22:02.066,0:22:05.399 - That doesn't sound good.[br]- No, we should take him to the doctor. 0:22:05.566,0:22:08.399 Get him checked out.[br]Who knows what he's been through? 0:22:08.566,0:22:10.033 - Okay?[br]- I'll go get the car keys. 0:22:10.200,0:22:11.189 - All right.[br]- Okay. 0:22:12.033,0:22:14.900 Now, when you get to the hospital,[br]don't stop. Don't stop. 0:22:15.066,0:22:17.534 Toss that monster out the window[br]and keep moving. 0:22:17.700,0:22:20.726 Hit the accelerator. I don't wanna[br]see that little ugly thing again. 0:22:22.200,0:22:24.225 Stinky little thing. 0:22:25.000,0:22:26.399 Was it a little cough? 0:22:26.566,0:22:27.555 - No.[br]- No. 0:22:27.733,0:22:31.191 No, this was like a grown-man,[br]smoker's cough. 0:22:32.099,0:22:34.364 Well, it's probably nothing. 0:22:34.533,0:22:37.024 Come on, let's get his shirt off. 0:22:39.400,0:22:42.528 He's a strong little fella. 0:22:46.566,0:22:49.194 Oh, my God. What is that scar? 0:22:49.799,0:22:51.324 From the look of it, I'd say... 0:22:51.500,0:22:53.900 ...this little guy has had[br]his appendix removed. 0:22:54.066,0:22:55.897 Or he was[br]in one hell of a knife fight. 0:22:59.333,0:23:00.960 What kind of person[br]tattoos a child? 0:23:01.133,0:23:02.623 Oh, you'd be amazed. Come on. 0:23:03.633,0:23:05.726 Open up. Open up and say: 0:23:05.900,0:23:07.731 Come on. Come on. Come on. 0:23:12.066,0:23:14.762 - Wha-? What is it?[br]- I've never seen a... 0:23:14.933,0:23:16.161 ...baby with bridgework. 0:23:17.233,0:23:20.396 This child has the mouth[br]of a 40-year-old man. 0:23:20.866,0:23:25.303 I can't tell whether these teeth[br]are coming in or falling out. 0:23:25.466,0:23:27.093 Well, he's gonna be okay? 0:23:27.533,0:23:28.830 He's fine. 0:23:29.000,0:23:33.300 His tonsils are a little swollen[br]and he might have a bit of a cold. 0:23:33.466,0:23:34.455 As a precaution... 0:23:34.633,0:23:37.397 ...you should take his temperature[br]before you put him to bed. 0:23:37.566,0:23:39.534 - All right. Thank you, Dr. Murphy.[br]- Okay. 0:23:39.700,0:23:42.260 - Thank you very much.[br]- Bye. 0:23:43.099,0:23:45.591 This is iust- It's horrible.[br]Look at this child. 0:23:45.766,0:23:47.631 Let's turn him over[br]to the authorities. 0:23:47.799,0:23:49.927 They can find his parents[br]and prosecute them. 0:23:50.099,0:23:51.567 Are you crazy? We can't do that. 0:23:51.733,0:23:53.496 This kid's been through the wringer. 0:23:53.666,0:23:55.998 Besides, his birth parents[br]are probably crackheads. 0:23:56.166,0:23:58.066 They're iust gonna[br]put them in rehab. 0:23:58.233,0:24:01.225 Then they'll be back on the street,[br]selling him for a bag of rocks. 0:24:01.900,0:24:04.130 What are you saying? 0:24:04.299,0:24:06.530 I'm saying,[br]why don't we just keep him? 0:24:06.933,0:24:08.662 - Just until Monday.[br]- No. No, Darryl. 0:24:08.833,0:24:10.027 - Just until-[br]- He's a child. 0:24:10.200,0:24:12.760 - I don't know what to do with a child.[br]- Just until Monday. 0:24:12.933,0:24:14.798 And then we'll take him[br]to Child Services. 0:24:14.966,0:24:17.127 They'll find a home for him. 0:24:17.299,0:24:20.360 Besides, who could take[br]better care of this child than us? 0:24:23.333,0:24:26.598 - Where is he?[br]- Oh, man. 0:24:32.400,0:24:34.766 Where do you think you're going? 0:24:35.700,0:24:36.962 Well, what do we got here? 0:24:38.400,0:24:40.163 - Is this your baby?[br]- Yes, thank you. 0:24:41.200,0:24:43.600 Well, actually... 0:24:43.766,0:24:46.428 - ... we found him-[br]- Mama. 0:24:51.533,0:24:53.160 He called me Mama. 0:24:54.566,0:24:55.590 There you go. 0:24:58.833,0:25:01.495 Thank you, officer. Thank you. 0:25:02.766,0:25:05.564 You know, Percy,[br]I don't like having to look for people. 0:25:07.000,0:25:09.025 Who, me? I wasn't hiding, Mr. W. 0:25:09.200,0:25:10.531 Not Percy. Not the Kid. 0:25:10.700,0:25:12.668 I was gonna come[br]soon as I got the diamond. 0:25:13.099,0:25:14.567 So you don't have[br]my diamond, huh? 0:25:14.733,0:25:16.200 No. I mean, I do. 0:25:16.366,0:25:18.266 I don't have it on me now,[br]but it's safe. 0:25:18.433,0:25:21.493 We got everything on lockdown.[br]Believe me. Trust me. 0:25:21.666,0:25:23.930 You trying to hustle me, Percy? 0:25:24.400,0:25:27.392 Hustle a hustler?[br]Ain't nothing happening, Mr. W. 0:25:27.799,0:25:30.633 It's iust that the robbery didn't go[br]as smooth as we wanted to. 0:25:30.799,0:25:33.963 And a situation had popped up,[br]so we had to split. 0:25:34.133,0:25:37.193 - But my partner, he-[br]- Your partner is not my problem. 0:25:37.366,0:25:39.834 My problem is[br]I don't have my diamond. 0:25:40.233,0:25:42.224 Now, I'm gonna give you 24 hours. 0:25:42.400,0:25:45.665 After that, my problem becomes[br]Bruno and Rosco's problem. 0:25:46.900,0:25:48.265 And they... 0:25:48.433,0:25:49.991 ...become your problem. 0:25:50.166,0:25:51.531 You got a problem with that? 0:25:51.900,0:25:54.130 Ain't got no problem with that, Mr. W. 0:25:54.299,0:25:56.200 I got it all under control, I swear. 0:25:56.366,0:25:58.527 Don't want a smudge on it,[br]not a speck, nothing. 0:25:58.700,0:26:00.759 Not a smudge. 0:26:01.166,0:26:02.394 Okay, Mr. W. 0:26:03.433,0:26:04.832 Get him out of here. 0:26:05.000,0:26:06.968 - Get him out of here.[br]- Come on. 0:26:13.066,0:26:15.091 Ain't nothing better[br]than the evening news... 0:26:15.266,0:26:17.791 ...and my favorite, milk and cookies. 0:26:18.533,0:26:20.694 Damn, I forgot my milk. 0:26:20.866,0:26:23.096 Jeez, man,[br]you can't be popping up like that. 0:26:23.566,0:26:25.329 For a moment[br]I thought you were Chucky. 0:26:25.866,0:26:27.527 About to put you in a chokehold. 0:26:29.533,0:26:31.125 What are you looking at? 0:26:32.033,0:26:35.833 A man who exposed himself to[br]police oflicers in a doughnut shop... 0:26:36.000,0:26:38.366 ...claimed that voices[br]made him do it. 0:26:38.533,0:26:41.400 Oh, honey, look how[br]comfortable he is with us. 0:26:41.566,0:26:43.557 He is so cute. 0:26:43.733,0:26:45.325 Oh, no, you don't. 0:26:45.500,0:26:48.333 No, you don't. No, no, no. 0:26:48.500,0:26:50.365 - Dad.[br]- Come on, Pop, let him sit there. 0:26:50.533,0:26:53.934 - Let him have a cookie.[br]- This is my throne, my sanctuary. 0:26:54.099,0:26:56.091 This is my air, my end zone. 0:26:56.266,0:26:59.326 - It's iust a cookie.[br]- Oh, it start with the cookie. 0:27:01.733,0:27:05.760 Then they want to come to dinner.[br]Then they want to move in. 0:27:06.333,0:27:10.099 Next thing you know,[br]they're married to your daughter. 0:27:10.666,0:27:14.102 - Why he got to bring it back here-[br]- Already made that mistake once. 0:27:14.266,0:27:15.494 - Come on, now.[br]- Honey. 0:27:15.666,0:27:17.531 No more, my brother. 0:27:17.700,0:27:20.897 Nobody makes a fool out of me.[br]I'm from Detroit. 0:27:22.866,0:27:24.424 - Everybody's here.[br]- I can't wait... 0:27:24.599,0:27:26.534 ...for everybody to meet little Calvin. 0:27:27.333,0:27:28.891 - I'm so excited.[br]- Yeah, yeah. 0:27:29.066,0:27:32.695 Introduce him to everybody else, and[br]go over to somebody else's house. 0:27:36.733,0:27:38.325 Cookie got a little bite to it. 0:27:39.299,0:27:41.734 - Hi. Come in, come in, come in.[br]- Hello, hello, hello. 0:27:41.900,0:27:45.529 - Hello, hello.[br]- I'm so excited. 0:27:45.700,0:27:46.928 - Hey.[br]- Hello. 0:27:47.099,0:27:51.127 - Consuela, welcome. Come in.[br]- So where is the little one? 0:27:52.066,0:27:57.094 - Here's Calvin.[br]- Here's Calvin. 0:28:00.166,0:28:02.600 - What a mess.[br]- Honey, that's not nice. 0:28:02.766,0:28:04.700 He's scary. 0:28:05.533,0:28:07.592 Yeah, well, I mean... 0:28:08.566,0:28:13.503 - I mean, lucky he's not yours, right?[br]- Yeah. 0:28:15.166,0:28:18.329 I iust think he is precious.[br]I think he is a precious gift from God. 0:28:18.933,0:28:20.264 You know, God gives gifts. 0:28:20.433,0:28:24.836 Sometimes he wraps them in a hurry.[br]Sometimes. Isn't he a precious gift? 0:28:25.433,0:28:28.334 Oh, yeah. He's adorable... 0:28:28.933,0:28:31.731 ...in a National Geographic[br]sort of way. 0:28:33.433,0:28:35.196 What is he, a pygmy? 0:28:39.666,0:28:41.896 Consuela, why don't you take[br]the kids to go play? 0:28:42.066,0:28:43.363 Yes, good idea.[br]Come on, guys. 0:28:43.533,0:28:46.161 Tommy, show Nicholas[br]that scissor-lock thing... 0:28:46.333,0:28:47.823 ...we've been working on, huh? 0:28:49.966,0:28:53.629 Hey, little man.[br]No hard feelings, right? 0:28:56.666,0:28:57.997 Give me five. 0:29:04.666,0:29:07.032 Hey, guess what, Calvin?[br]We brought you some stuff. 0:29:07.200,0:29:09.760 We got you some stuff.[br]We got a box full of bottles, bibs. 0:29:09.933,0:29:13.130 Oh, and all of the Dinosaurus Rex[br]tapes you could possibly want. 0:29:13.299,0:29:15.063 Well, thank you. That's a lot of stuff. 0:29:15.233,0:29:19.226 He is so cute. I got your nose. 0:29:19.400,0:29:22.597 Yes, I do. Yes, I do. 0:29:24.933,0:29:26.525 Oh, you got my nose. 0:29:26.700,0:29:29.931 You got my nose. Yes, you do. 0:29:31.233,0:29:34.031 He's got my nose. He's got my nose.[br]He's hurting- 0:29:34.200,0:29:35.565 Darryl, he's hurting me. 0:29:35.733,0:29:38.224 - He's hurting me.[br]- Okay, okay, okay. 0:29:38.400,0:29:40.265 Wow, is he strong. 0:29:40.866,0:29:43.334 Yeah, tell me about it.[br]I still can't feel my hand. 0:29:43.500,0:29:45.968 Okay, Darryl, I think you should[br]take the crib upstairs. 0:29:46.133,0:29:48.431 - Yes.[br]- Ladies, will you help with this stuff? 0:29:48.599,0:29:49.828 Okay. 0:29:50.000,0:29:52.059 - Guys, help me grab this.[br]- I'll get this box. 0:29:52.233,0:29:54.428 Let's go into the kitchen.[br]Come, Calvin. 0:29:54.599,0:29:57.467 - Come on, baby.[br]- Come on, little pumpkin-butt. 0:29:58.633,0:30:00.760 Janet, this fits perfectly. 0:30:01.233,0:30:02.632 - Thank you.[br]- Let me see. 0:30:03.366,0:30:05.163 I'm glad I kept it. 0:30:05.733,0:30:08.531 Can't remember the last time[br]I could wear horizontal stripes. 0:30:09.500,0:30:12.401 But, you know, here I go again.[br]How about you, woman of the hour? 0:30:12.566,0:30:15.399 - Congratulations on the promotion.[br]- Oh, thank you. 0:30:15.566,0:30:17.932 It's awesome.[br]Was Darryl so excited or what? 0:30:18.099,0:30:22.264 No, actually. He was disappointed. 0:30:22.433,0:30:24.663 Baby up-up. 0:30:27.099,0:30:30.069 He thought I was going to tell him[br]I was pregnant. 0:30:34.733,0:30:36.724 Okay, right. 0:30:36.900,0:30:38.663 Little Ms. Corporate-Climber[br]pregnant? 0:30:38.833,0:30:44.135 What? You guys.[br]I want to have a baby at some point. 0:30:44.299,0:30:47.997 You could schedule one between[br]a conference call and a client meeting. 0:30:49.433,0:30:53.096 Okay, you know, Darryl is the one[br]that I'm really worried about. 0:30:53.266,0:30:55.666 Are you kidding me?[br]You're lucky he wants one at all. 0:30:55.833,0:30:57.733 I had to promise Greg[br]I'd give him these. 0:30:59.833,0:31:03.269 Okay, now. Okay, easy, fella. 0:31:05.533,0:31:09.902 This one's real grabby.[br]He must have been breast-fed. 0:31:10.500,0:31:12.365 Is the baby hungry? 0:31:12.833,0:31:13.891 He should be nursed. 0:31:14.066,0:31:16.057 Baby like nursey-nursey. 0:31:16.700,0:31:18.998 Well, are you sure[br]you should do that? 0:31:19.166,0:31:21.794 Yeah. You don't have to be[br]the birth mother to breast-feed. 0:31:22.566,0:31:26.058 - Nursey-nursey?[br]- You want to nursey? 0:31:28.500,0:31:29.933 Okay. 0:31:34.000,0:31:35.365 All right. 0:31:36.099,0:31:39.831 - Drink up, precious.[br]- This one's real wriggly, huh? 0:31:40.000,0:31:43.094 Come on. Come on, now. Suck it. 0:31:43.266,0:31:48.033 Latch- Oh, that is not okay. 0:31:49.933,0:31:51.195 Let's get these kids home. 0:31:51.366,0:31:54.062 I have to take Nicholas and Chrissy[br]to Mommy and Me tomorrow. 0:31:54.233,0:31:55.530 Oh, have fun. 0:31:55.700,0:31:58.794 Don't worry about the nose.[br]He's adorable. 0:31:58.966,0:32:01.799 - Thanks for all the stuff.[br]- Call if you need anything. 0:32:01.966,0:32:03.433 - Bye, good night.[br]- Good night. 0:32:03.599,0:32:06.330 If you change your mind[br]about Consuela, you can take her. 0:32:06.500,0:32:08.559 - Oh, thanks.[br]- I've got, like, all the chores. 0:32:08.733,0:32:10.394 One for you... 0:32:11.733,0:32:13.724 ...and one for the baby. 0:32:32.333,0:32:34.130 He's a little charmer, isn't he? 0:32:34.333,0:32:36.563 Call me. 0:32:38.733,0:32:41.224 I could have sworn he iust[br]stuck his tongue in my mouth. 0:32:49.433,0:32:51.731 - Well, I- That was- I thought-[br]- That went well. 0:32:51.900,0:32:54.061 - Yeah.[br]- I thought they thought he was cute. 0:32:54.233,0:32:56.793 Great. You're wonder-[br]Oh, Calvin, you did so good. 0:32:56.966,0:32:59.025 - Come on. Yeah.[br]- You did so well. 0:32:59.200,0:33:02.135 If that lady touches you in a way[br]that makes you uncomfortable... 0:33:02.299,0:33:03.790 ...you let us know, okay? 0:33:03.966,0:33:06.433 - Yeah. You're the charmer.[br]- Yeah. 0:33:06.433,0:33:10.563 Does that warm water feel good?[br]Does it feel nice? 0:33:10.733,0:33:12.928 Yeah. Look at you. 0:33:13.099,0:33:16.729 Do you want some company in there[br]with you? 0:33:16.900,0:33:18.197 I think we can work that out. 0:33:18.766,0:33:21.462 Yeah? Yeah? 0:33:21.633,0:33:22.998 Hey, Darryl? 0:33:23.166,0:33:26.226 Hello. It's bath time. 0:33:29.033,0:33:31.058 Come on, let's get clean. 0:33:32.033,0:33:34.968 We gonna clean your little butt-butt.[br]Yes, we are. 0:33:35.133,0:33:36.964 And then we gonna play[br]Snatch the Marbles. 0:33:37.133,0:33:38.566 We're gonna fart in the tub... 0:33:38.733,0:33:41.861 ...and make our own[br]little Jacuzzi bubbles. 0:33:47.033,0:33:50.434 Oh, the little baby.[br]Yes, you're so clean now. 0:33:50.599,0:33:52.033 You're so nice and clean. 0:33:56.799,0:33:59.667 Hey. Okay- Calvin. 0:33:59.833,0:34:02.063 Okay, Calvin. 0:34:03.299,0:34:04.767 Okay. Hey, Darryl? 0:34:04.933,0:34:08.061 - All right, sweetie.[br]- Hello, little boy. 0:34:08.233,0:34:09.893 Hi, cutie. 0:34:10.065,0:34:12.295 Now it's time to get you[br]all dressed for bed, huh? 0:34:12.466,0:34:15.264 Don't forget the doctor said[br]we need to take his temperature. 0:34:15.433,0:34:16.956 Okay. 0:34:17.166,0:34:18.393 - Yeah.[br]- All right. 0:34:18.565,0:34:20.033 Open up wide. 0:34:20.199,0:34:23.067 - Darryl, what are you doing?[br]- I'm taking his temperature. 0:34:23.233,0:34:26.760 Sweetie, he's a baby,[br]so that's a rectal thermometer. 0:34:28.300,0:34:29.597 Yeah. Go ahead. 0:34:29.766,0:34:30.994 - You're such a-[br]- Okay, baby. 0:34:31.166,0:34:33.190 All right. Here we go. There we- 0:34:34.400,0:34:36.163 - Oh, shit.[br]- Darryl, what are you doing? 0:34:36.533,0:34:39.228 Darryl, come on. Darryl, iust- 0:34:39.400,0:34:41.697 - I'm trying to-[br]- Honey. 0:34:41.866,0:34:43.766 It's okay, Calvin. It's okay. 0:34:43.933,0:34:46.197 - If he'll iust roll over here.[br]- Okay, good, good. 0:34:46.366,0:34:48.061 - I could get him down like-[br]- No, no. 0:34:48.233,0:34:51.565 - Wait, be gentle. Calvin, it's okay.[br]- He's a little strong. 0:34:51.733,0:34:54.896 Okay, all right.[br]Nobody likes this, I know. 0:34:55.065,0:34:57.557 I know, nobody- Nobody likes this. 0:34:57.733,0:35:01.726 It's okay. It's okay.[br]Oh, yeah. There we go, son. 0:35:01.900,0:35:05.631 - Here comes the choo-choo train.[br]- You're okay, baby. Oh, yeah. 0:35:11.333,0:35:15.827 It's in the tunnel, son.[br]It's almost at your stop. 0:35:20.466,0:35:22.627 There you go, little man. 0:35:23.000,0:35:26.800 Now, this is gonna put you to sleep. 0:35:27.766,0:35:29.358 All right, little buddy. 0:35:35.833,0:35:37.562 Good night, baby. 0:35:44.166,0:35:47.101 Like this thing's gonna[br]put somebody to sleep. 0:35:47.699,0:35:49.668 I'm gonna wait for you[br]to go to sleep. 0:35:49.833,0:35:52.301 I'm gonna get my diamond[br]and be out. 0:37:22.166,0:37:26.159 Come on, baby, be in here.[br]Come on. 0:37:27.766,0:37:29.028 Come on. 0:37:29.199,0:37:31.259 Come on, where you at?[br]Where you at? 0:37:31.433,0:37:32.991 There we go. 0:37:34.466,0:37:38.869 Hi, beautiful. Yes. 0:37:54.400,0:37:57.096 Man, this idiot better[br]pick up the phone. 0:38:11.633,0:38:14.033 People calling here all kind of time. 0:38:14.199,0:38:18.034 Like people don't live here. I mean,[br]you can't be calling nobody house... 0:38:18.833,0:38:22.929 P- Unit Productions, in association[br]with Go Get a Girl Entertainment. 0:38:23.099,0:38:25.432 - Hey, yo, Percy. It's me.[br]- Calvin? 0:38:25.599,0:38:28.535 - What's going on?[br]- I need you to come pick me up. 0:38:28.699,0:38:31.567 - Now, look, I got the dia-[br]- Reach for the sky. 0:38:33.066,0:38:34.761 Who you talking to, sonny boy? 0:38:39.933,0:38:42.595 Oh, don't give me that old... crap. 0:38:42.766,0:38:44.097 Hand me that damn phone. 0:38:45.366,0:38:47.129 - Who is this?[br]- Me no speak no English. 0:38:47.300,0:38:48.562 Wrong number. Sorry. 0:38:48.733,0:38:51.395 Who the hell's "No speak the English"?[br]Who the hell is this? 0:38:51.566,0:38:53.329 - Say something.[br]- What are you doing? 0:38:53.500,0:38:55.798 I heard some noises,[br]came downstairs... 0:38:55.966,0:38:58.025 ...and caught this little hoodlum[br]on the phone. 0:38:58.199,0:39:00.725 - Must've looked for the safe.[br]- We don't have a safe. 0:39:00.900,0:39:03.664 - He didn't know that.[br]- Dada. 0:39:04.666,0:39:08.568 Pop, man. He's a baby. 0:39:08.733,0:39:11.600 It's his first night in a new house.[br]Probably couldn't sleep. 0:39:11.766,0:39:15.827 Look at you. You look crazy, man.[br]Holding a shotgun, wearing red socks. 0:39:16.000,0:39:19.128 You look like Fred Sanford on crack.[br]Put that away, man. Go to bed. 0:39:19.300,0:39:21.530 Oh, you are good. 0:39:21.699,0:39:23.565 You are real good. 0:39:23.733,0:39:25.928 I'm gonna keep my eye on you. 0:39:26.366,0:39:27.890 You gonna give me the finger? 0:39:28.066,0:39:31.524 Where did you learn that, huh?[br]BET videos _fter Dark? 0:39:34.400,0:39:35.662 Him scary. 0:39:35.833,0:39:37.528 There we go. 0:39:37.699,0:39:40.863 Don't pay him any mind.[br]He just a old, crazy man. 0:39:41.033,0:39:44.594 I know iust what to fix you[br]so you can have a good night's sleep. 0:39:58.633,0:40:01.568 Go. Boy, you must have[br]had a rough first night. 0:40:03.033,0:40:05.092 That's because I'm new[br]at this dad stuff. 0:40:05.266,0:40:07.894 Give me a minute,[br]I'll get it together. 0:40:11.666,0:40:15.067 Man, can't imagine[br]what kind of life you must have had. 0:40:15.900,0:40:17.128 I'll tell you this: 0:40:17.300,0:40:19.860 This weekend is gonna be[br]the best weekend of your life. 0:40:20.033,0:40:21.261 You know why? 0:40:21.433,0:40:24.334 Because I'm gonna show you[br]how great it is to have a dad... 0:40:24.500,0:40:28.197 ...and you're gonna show me[br]how great it is to be a dad. 0:40:29.300,0:40:32.269 Vanessa don't think I can do it,[br]but I know I got it in me. 0:40:32.433,0:40:35.266 You know why? Because[br]I would never abandon my child. 0:40:36.866,0:40:40.097 Ever. I'll always be there for him. 0:40:40.466,0:40:43.458 And there'll never be a time[br]when my son can't come to me... 0:40:43.633,0:40:45.999 ...and talk to me[br]about anything in the world... 0:40:46.166,0:40:50.102 ...over a nice, warm cup of milk. 0:40:59.733,0:41:02.395 What's so funny?[br]What are you all giggly for? 0:41:03.166,0:41:05.191 You're drinking Janet's breast milk. 0:41:08.333,0:41:12.702 Baby, you did the right thing,[br]letting him stay with us this weekend. 0:41:13.166,0:41:14.997 Thank you. 0:41:16.566,0:41:21.435 But you know, I still can't wait for us[br]to have one of our own. 0:41:22.833,0:41:26.496 - Yes, I know.[br]- All right. 0:41:27.599,0:41:30.364 You wanna know the nice thing[br]about you not being pregnant? 0:41:30.866,0:41:32.390 What? 0:41:32.666,0:41:34.725 We get to keep trying. 0:41:45.033,0:41:48.093 Honey? What about the baby? 0:41:48.266,0:41:51.064 He's asleep, don't worry about him.[br]You've got me. 0:41:51.233,0:41:53.030 But, honey... 0:41:55.000,0:41:56.763 ...he's watching. 0:41:59.699,0:42:02.828 He's too young to know[br]what's going on. Forget him. 0:42:06.400,0:42:07.799 Okay. 0:42:09.166,0:42:10.861 Okay. 0:42:25.366,0:42:26.924 Good morning. 0:42:28.633,0:42:31.534 More like, great morning. 0:42:31.699,0:42:35.101 Looks like someone had a really good[br]night's sleep last night. 0:42:36.066,0:42:37.693 Who could sleep? 0:42:37.866,0:42:41.029 - You were an animal last night.[br]- Oh, well, you know- 0:42:41.199,0:42:45.000 I don't remember the last time[br]we did it twice in one night. 0:42:45.166,0:42:46.633 Twice? 0:42:49.233,0:42:50.700 Hey, when did he get in the bed? 0:42:52.433,0:42:55.766 I don't know. I don't know[br]how he gets out of that crib. 0:42:55.933,0:42:57.560 He's such a crafty little fella. 0:43:01.666,0:43:03.827 You want some breakfast? 0:43:04.000,0:43:05.433 Some more ass. 0:43:07.966,0:43:09.331 Twice? 0:43:27.900,0:43:31.028 - How's my baby girl this morning?[br]- So good, Dad. 0:43:31.199,0:43:33.600 - How are you?[br]- Mighty fine, thank you. 0:43:33.766,0:43:35.233 No, no, no. 0:43:35.400,0:43:37.766 Thanks very much, Jim.[br]And in other news... 0:43:37.933,0:43:40.868 ...police have a suspect[br]in yesterday's daring diamond heist. 0:43:41.033,0:43:43.695 It is this man,[br]Calvin "Baby Face" Sims... 0:43:43.866,0:43:46.061 - ... who was released-[br]- D. Rex, D. Rex, D. Rex. 0:43:46.233,0:43:48.098 Stop that,[br]whatever you're talking about. 0:43:48.266,0:43:51.030 D. Rex, D. Rex, D. Rex. 0:43:51.199,0:43:52.428 Just be quiet. 0:43:52.800,0:43:54.427 - D. Rex.[br]- Baby Face- 0:43:54.699,0:43:57.760 Dad, let Calvin watch his show. 0:43:58.133,0:44:01.534 You have to be the adult.[br]Let Calvin watch his tape. 0:44:01.699,0:44:04.601 - I wanna watch the news.[br]- I don't care what you wanna watch. 0:44:04.766,0:44:07.360 He was watching the TV first. 0:44:07.533,0:44:09.000 I'll read the news. 0:44:09.166,0:44:13.603 I tell you, the world is going to hell[br]in a handcart. 0:44:49.800,0:44:52.735 Wow, Dad,[br]you really cleaned your plate. 0:44:52.900,0:44:55.198 What?[br]That hobgoblin ate my breakfast. 0:44:56.266,0:44:58.257 Oh, Daddy, don't be ridiculous. 0:44:58.433,0:45:01.561 I ain't being ridiculous.[br]That little sucker ate my breakfast. 0:45:01.733,0:45:05.260 I'm going to the diner, where I can eat[br]and watch the news in peace. 0:45:05.533,0:45:09.025 Okay, Dad. Be careful. 0:45:09.199,0:45:13.034 Why don't we get you some food?[br]You must be so hungry. 0:45:13.199,0:45:15.668 It's time for you to eat something. 0:45:16.699,0:45:19.191 - Morning, sweetie.[br]- Oh, good morning, baby. 0:45:19.366,0:45:20.663 Hello. 0:45:20.833,0:45:23.825 - I have your breakfast right here.[br]- Oh, goodie. 0:45:25.400,0:45:29.097 Oh, sweetie, okay,[br]now your dad is really tripping. 0:45:29.533,0:45:33.025 Last night, I caught him[br]holding little Calvin at gunpoint... 0:45:33.199,0:45:35.691 ...because he heard him[br]talking on the phone. 0:45:35.966,0:45:37.763 That is- That's crazy. 0:45:38.066,0:45:40.694 Well, you know... 0:45:40.866,0:45:45.894 ...iust now he ate all of his breakfast,[br]and then he told me the baby ate it. 0:45:47.099,0:45:50.001 - Can you say, "Whispering Glen"?[br]- No, Darryl. 0:45:50.166,0:45:51.565 No nursing homes, okay? 0:45:51.733,0:45:54.167 I don't wanna have this conversation[br]with you again. 0:45:54.333,0:45:57.029 I have to go to work,[br]but the baby's food is here. 0:45:57.199,0:45:59.327 - And I love you.[br]- I love you too. 0:45:59.500,0:46:02.867 Have a good day. Kiss. Feed him. 0:46:03.866,0:46:05.595 All right. 0:46:07.833,0:46:11.132 Okay, okay, let's get you all fed. 0:46:11.300,0:46:16.397 All right. Open up wide.[br]Here come the airplane. 0:46:22.400,0:46:24.197 Oh, I see. 0:46:24.366,0:46:26.527 You want to play a game[br]of peekaboo, huh? 0:46:26.699,0:46:28.691 Okay, okay, okay. 0:46:28.866,0:46:30.493 Peekaboo, I see you. 0:46:33.733,0:46:35.997 Peekaboo, I see you. 0:46:51.900,0:46:55.063 You gotta be kidding me. God. 0:47:02.233,0:47:03.825 Darryl? 0:47:05.066,0:47:06.761 Where did I put it? 0:47:13.266,0:47:15.427 Honey, I forgot my purse. 0:47:16.333,0:47:18.324 Darryl. Darryl. 0:47:18.733,0:47:22.100 Sweetheart.[br]You can't just fall asleep like this. 0:47:22.566,0:47:26.332 Oh, honey, I know that you're tired,[br]but you have to watch the baby. 0:47:26.500,0:47:29.560 You take your eyes off him for a[br]minute, God knows what could happen. 0:47:29.733,0:47:31.223 I was... 0:47:32.166,0:47:34.657 - Darryl.[br]- I was... 0:47:34.833,0:47:36.698 - What...?[br]- I don't- 0:47:36.866,0:47:40.768 Honey, iust take him to the park[br]or something, okay? 0:47:41.166,0:47:42.497 Okay. 0:47:44.066,0:47:45.397 What...? 0:47:53.066,0:47:56.365 Peekaboo. Then I don't- What? 0:48:01.533,0:48:04.161 We gonna play baseball.[br]We gonna play football. 0:48:04.333,0:48:07.234 And we're gonna play golf. 0:48:07.566,0:48:10.467 And we're gonna shoot a plane. 0:48:10.633,0:48:13.101 We're gonna have fun. 0:48:16.800,0:48:18.461 There we go. 0:48:18.633,0:48:22.069 All right, son. Now, don't be afraid[br]to really swing that bat, okay? 0:48:22.233,0:48:25.498 Now, the trick is to really[br]keep your eye on the ball, okay? 0:48:25.666,0:48:27.190 Here we go. 0:48:32.400,0:48:35.028 Yeah, you want that sucker[br]to really fly. 0:48:35.199,0:48:37.327 You wanna give that thing a lot of air,[br]okay? 0:48:37.500,0:48:39.195 There you go.[br]Give it some good pump. 0:48:39.366,0:48:41.926 You want it to really fly.[br]You want it to blast off. 0:48:42.099,0:48:45.592 Yeah, there you go.[br]No, no, no. You want to point that up. 0:48:45.766,0:48:49.031 No. No, no, son. What are you-?[br]No, no, no. Don't push that button. 0:48:52.333,0:48:55.530 Okay, so now, what you wanna do[br]is you wanna wind that baby up... 0:48:55.699,0:48:57.725 ...and you throw it[br]as hard as you can, okay? 0:48:57.900,0:48:59.492 - Okay.[br]- All right. Come on. 0:49:03.500,0:49:05.934 Look at that. Yeah. 0:49:06.966,0:49:09.764 Yeah. Look at that sucker. 0:49:12.266,0:49:13.597 Where'd it go? 0:49:23.533,0:49:25.330 The ducks teach you playfulness. 0:49:25.500,0:49:28.196 Here, you can borrow this if you want.[br]He'd love it. 0:49:28.366,0:49:30.391 Hey, Dad-For-A-Weekend. 0:49:31.033,0:49:32.261 How's it going? 0:49:32.433,0:49:35.368 I think they designed all the toys[br]to hit you in the nuts. 0:49:35.933,0:49:37.332 Oh, yeah. 0:49:38.166,0:49:39.155 Get off. 0:49:39.333,0:49:42.496 Richard, I bet my son could[br]kick the crap out of both your kids... 0:49:42.666,0:49:45.328 ...blindfolded,[br]one hand tied behind his back. 0:49:45.500,0:49:48.958 Come on, Greg.[br]Nicholas is a sweet, sensitive kid. 0:49:49.133,0:49:51.158 He's not a fighter. 0:49:51.333,0:49:54.359 I'm telling you, Darryl, see, you gotta[br]be tough on kids nowadays. 0:49:54.533,0:49:57.991 All right, the slightest bit of weakness[br]and they could end up... 0:50:00.433,0:50:01.866 ...like that. 0:50:02.033,0:50:04.968 Well, I don't know about all that,[br]but I gotta be honest with you. 0:50:05.133,0:50:08.193 I'm starting to dig this father thing.[br]It's kind of cool. 0:50:08.366,0:50:12.097 It's kind of like I get to do all the things[br]that I never did with my dad. 0:50:12.266,0:50:14.097 - You know?[br]- That's real cute. 0:50:14.633,0:50:17.830 Really, I think I'm having[br]a positive influence on him. 0:50:19.333,0:50:21.733 Cee-lo, that's right.[br]Dig up in your OshKosh... 0:50:21.900,0:50:23.367 ...your babyGap and pay the man. 0:50:23.533,0:50:26.730 - That's right. Yeah.[br]- It's not fair. 0:50:26.900,0:50:28.561 Come on,[br]put your money in the pot. 0:50:28.733,0:50:30.496 Whine to your mama,[br]don't whine to me. 0:50:30.666,0:50:31.997 Right, good game, good game. 0:50:32.166,0:50:33.656 Come here, you guys. Come here. 0:50:35.199,0:50:37.361 Yo, y'all bring[br]your money tomorrow... 0:50:37.533,0:50:40.400 ...I'm gonna sell y'all some pictures[br]of some naked girls. 0:50:42.066,0:50:44.728 What I say?[br]Y'all don't like big breasts? 0:50:44.900,0:50:46.527 Daddy, can I have some ice cream? 0:50:46.699,0:50:48.099 Sure, sweetie. What flavor? 0:50:48.266,0:50:49.858 - Vanilla.[br]- You got it. 0:50:50.033,0:50:51.500 - I think we'll go with you.[br]- Okay. 0:50:52.733,0:50:54.724 - You're getting big.[br]- Janet, do me a favor? 0:50:55.900,0:50:58.266 - Could you watch Calvin for me?[br]- No problem. 0:50:59.333,0:51:00.766 Calvin. 0:51:00.933,0:51:02.195 Percy. 0:51:03.166,0:51:06.602 - Cal, you get the diamond?[br]- Yeah, it's in the diaper bag. Come on. 0:51:06.766,0:51:07.926 Hold hands. 0:51:08.099,0:51:10.625 Cal, which one is it? 0:51:11.066,0:51:12.829 The one with the duck on it. 0:51:14.633,0:51:18.262 - They all got ducks on them.[br]- I think it's that one. 0:51:18.766,0:51:20.427 Come on. 0:51:21.199,0:51:23.225 Hey, that guy's not even[br]here with a child. 0:51:23.400,0:51:24.867 Hey. 0:51:26.199,0:51:28.691 Hey, get away from him.[br]Girls, let's get him! 0:51:28.866,0:51:31.357 - I'm out.[br]- There he is. 0:51:32.933,0:51:35.163 Pumpkin, are you okay? 0:51:35.599,0:51:37.227 - Did he touch you anywhere?[br]- No. 0:51:37.400,0:51:39.561 No? Okay. Good. 0:51:39.733,0:51:41.928 - Hey, is everything okay, Janet?[br]- It's not okay. 0:51:42.099,0:51:44.762 Some sick pervert tried to run away[br]with this little guy. 0:51:44.933,0:51:46.867 Hey, that psycho[br]took my diaper bag. 0:51:47.033,0:51:49.092 - What?[br]- Damn. 0:51:50.266,0:51:51.927 Pervert. 0:51:53.433,0:51:57.199 Okay, we gonna get you home[br]where it's nice and safe, all right? 0:52:00.900,0:52:03.596 Keys, keys. I want the keys. 0:52:03.833,0:52:08.099 Keys, keys, I want keys.[br]Keys. Keys. Keys. 0:52:08.266,0:52:10.393 No, no, no.[br]Daddy needs these to drive the- 0:52:10.566,0:52:12.090 - Keys.[br]- Oh, God. 0:52:12.266,0:52:13.995 Keys. Give me the keys. 0:52:14.566,0:52:17.160 - Oh, no. Here. Take that.[br]- No. Keys. 0:52:17.333,0:52:19.233 - I want keys.[br]- Play with that for a while. 0:52:19.400,0:52:21.732 - No, no, no. I need these.[br]- I want keys. 0:52:22.599,0:52:23.999 - Want keys.[br]- Okay, here. 0:52:24.566,0:52:27.194 - Keys.[br]- All right, all right. 0:52:27.366,0:52:31.302 All right, you wait right there,[br]and I'll be right back, okay? 0:52:36.833,0:52:38.494 Hey! 0:52:38.666,0:52:40.099 My car. My kid. 0:52:41.400,0:52:44.062 Hey, stop! 0:52:50.133,0:52:52.158 Someone iust stole my car[br]with my kid in it. 0:52:52.333,0:52:53.595 Hop in. 0:52:54.666,0:52:57.032 - Thank you.[br]- Let's go get that son of a bitch. 0:53:07.433,0:53:08.866 Damn. 0:53:20.900,0:53:23.596 Man, my wife is gonna kill me[br]when she finds out about this. 0:53:23.766,0:53:25.597 My advice to you[br]is don't tell her a word. 0:53:25.766,0:53:27.597 I left Bobby Jr.[br]at an amusement park. 0:53:27.766,0:53:30.234 Told his father he was at[br]summer camp. Bought me a week. 0:53:35.400,0:53:38.460 Hello? I'm on my way.[br]I'll be there in about five minutes. 0:53:38.633,0:53:41.067 I have the cupcakes. Yes. 0:53:41.233,0:53:43.064 I didn't bring iuice.[br]You didn't tell me. 0:53:43.233,0:53:45.827 - Don't talk to me that way.[br]- Excuse me. 0:53:46.466,0:53:48.093 - I'm hanging up.[br]- Oh, my God. 0:53:48.266,0:53:50.097 I'm hanging up. I'm hanging up. 0:53:51.733,0:53:53.826 Watch the road, moron. 0:53:54.566,0:53:56.898 Come on, baby. Let's go.[br]Let's do this. 0:54:04.866,0:54:08.267 Oh, wow, you are really upset. 0:54:08.433,0:54:12.096 It makes me feel so good to know that[br]there are people out there who care... 0:54:12.266,0:54:14.359 - Mommy, Mommy...[br]- ... about their kids- What? 0:54:14.533,0:54:15.522 as I do. 0:54:15.699,0:54:17.634 - Mommy, Mommy.[br]- Just one second, honey. 0:54:17.800,0:54:20.826 I'm fixing my makeup. 0:54:21.000,0:54:23.161 - Mom.[br]- What? 0:54:23.333,0:54:25.563 I think Dillon did a doodie. 0:54:25.733,0:54:28.429 - Mom, hurry up. Come on, hurry.[br]- Change him. 0:54:28.599,0:54:31.535 Oh, wait, no. Wait. 0:54:33.000,0:54:35.696 Oh, my God. Excuse me. A truck. 0:54:35.900,0:54:38.232 Excuse me. A truck. 0:54:38.400,0:54:40.368 There you go.[br]Can you hand me the powder? 0:54:40.533,0:54:42.023 What? No, stop. 0:54:43.066,0:54:44.658 We're gonna die. 0:54:51.500,0:54:53.525 Oh, my God. 0:54:53.699,0:54:55.895 Don't worry.[br]You'll get your little boy back. 0:54:56.066,0:54:58.933 It ain't worth it. Let me out. 0:55:05.433,0:55:06.695 Oh, no. 0:55:22.833,0:55:25.927 - Suspect got away.[br]- Damn it! 0:55:26.833,0:55:31.327 - But the kid's okay.[br]- I want my daddy. 0:55:32.699,0:55:36.898 I want Daddy. I want my daddy. 0:55:37.066,0:55:38.966 Thanks for everything. 0:55:40.666,0:55:42.759 Oh, by the way, I run a carpool... 0:55:42.933,0:55:45.925 ...if the little one ever needs[br]a ride to preschool. 0:55:46.166,0:55:47.929 - Daddy.[br]- That's my kid. 0:55:48.199,0:55:50.395 Daddy. Daddy. 0:55:50.566,0:55:54.002 - Are you okay, huh?[br]- Daddy. 0:55:54.300,0:55:58.566 - Son's okay, but car's totaled.[br]- Screw the car. Long as he's okay. 0:55:58.733,0:56:01.668 I'm sorry, man.[br]I'm sorry, little buddy. 0:56:01.833,0:56:04.427 I would never want anything[br]to happen to you. 0:56:04.599,0:56:06.465 I love you, man. 0:56:09.233,0:56:10.825 - Mr. W.[br]- Yeah. 0:56:11.000,0:56:13.935 Your boy came through. I got it. 0:56:16.233,0:56:18.724 Bring it to me.[br]Watch my drink, babe. 0:56:34.099,0:56:38.059 Keep looking. Keep digging in there.[br]It's in there. It's in there, baby. 0:56:39.066,0:56:40.931 Look around in there. 0:56:41.966,0:56:44.696 Mr. Dub,[br]could you dig deeper in there? 0:56:44.866,0:56:46.163 Damn. 0:56:48.300,0:56:50.063 Is that a dirty diaper? 0:56:51.333,0:56:54.700 - Did I iust touch a dirty diaper?[br]- Wait a minute. 0:56:54.866,0:56:57.130 Whoa, that baby had[br]lasagna last night. 0:56:57.300,0:56:59.734 I know it's in here.[br]The diamond's in here. 0:56:59.900,0:57:03.666 - He said the diamond's in there.[br]- Your 24 hours are up, Percy. 0:57:08.300,0:57:10.325 And you haven't[br]delivered my diamond. 0:57:10.500,0:57:12.661 Do you know[br]how that makes me feel? 0:57:13.933,0:57:17.266 Please, Mr. Dub, give me a little[br]more time. I promise I'll get the rock. 0:57:17.433,0:57:19.993 It makes me feel like[br]wanting to hurt you very badly. 0:57:20.533,0:57:22.330 But I won't. 0:57:22.933,0:57:26.061 Because that diamond[br]means more to me than your life. 0:57:26.400,0:57:28.664 Now, you get out of here[br]and find me that diamond. 0:57:31.699,0:57:35.295 - Get out of here.[br]- I promise you, okay? I got you. 0:57:36.633,0:57:39.067 Follow him. Find his partner. 0:57:39.233,0:57:42.760 Get me my diamond,[br]then stick them both in the ground. 0:57:43.366,0:57:45.493 Aren't you taking this a bit far? 0:57:45.666,0:57:48.191 I didn't even know they made[br]a LoJack for kids. 0:57:48.366,0:57:51.995 No, I'm telling you, I'm not taking[br]any chances. This guy's tricky. 0:57:52.166,0:57:53.531 Maybe I should skip the game. 0:57:53.699,0:57:57.761 Are you crazy?[br]They're playing Detroit, D. 0:57:58.333,0:58:02.201 Why don't we pack up the little ugly[br]son of a bitch and take him with us? 0:58:05.199,0:58:07.065 You really think[br]that's the best idea? 0:58:07.233,0:58:09.565 Yeah, Richard,[br]I do think it's the best idea. 0:58:09.733,0:58:12.065 It's never too early[br]to become a Chicago fan. 0:58:14.000,0:58:17.265 - You know what, I'm in.[br]- Yeah. Come on, let's go. 0:58:17.433,0:58:20.994 Okay, but when the ladies ask,[br]I was the one that said no. 0:58:21.166,0:58:22.394 I- No. 0:58:28.766,0:58:31.234 Are you ready to see how exciting[br]a hockey game is? 0:58:31.400,0:58:32.697 It's like boxing on ice. 0:58:32.866,0:58:35.357 Five rows up behind the penalty box.[br]Who the man? 0:58:35.533,0:58:37.023 - Yeah, boy. Yeah.[br]- That's right. 0:58:41.733,0:58:44.497 Let's go. Come on. Come on. 0:58:45.166,0:58:48.101 - Go, go, go.[br]- Come on, what are you watching? 0:58:50.800,0:58:52.563 Did you see that play? Hey. 0:58:52.733,0:58:54.826 What you got in your mouth there,[br]little fella? 0:58:55.533,0:58:58.900 What you got in your mouth?[br]Open up. Open. Let me see. 0:58:59.633,0:59:01.567 Oh, okay, it was nothing. 0:59:01.733,0:59:03.667 Come on. 0:59:05.966,0:59:06.955 T Man! 0:59:07.133,0:59:09.101 - Come on.[br]- Here we go. 0:59:09.699,0:59:10.962 Yeah. 0:59:13.599,0:59:15.158 Yeah. 0:59:19.300,0:59:21.894 - All right, who needs drinks?[br]- I'm good. 0:59:22.066,0:59:27.766 Oh, wait. Yeah,[br]I guess I need another one, please. 0:59:29.500,0:59:30.728 - Thanks.[br]- Thanks. 0:59:30.966,0:59:33.457 How about you guys?[br]Anything to drink? 0:59:33.633,0:59:36.431 - Yeah, I'll grab a beer, sure.[br]- Me too, me too. Get me one. 0:59:37.099,0:59:39.591 - There you go.[br]- Thank you. 0:59:39.766,0:59:43.293 - Okay. Here you go.[br]- Nice ass. 0:59:46.066,0:59:47.431 Pig. 0:59:48.599,0:59:50.329 Tramp. 1:00:01.166,1:00:04.602 What the hell was that for? 1:00:05.133,1:00:06.998 - What did I do?[br]- You know her? 1:00:07.166,1:00:08.599 No, I don't know her. 1:00:09.866,1:00:11.163 I don't know- I don't. 1:00:11.333,1:00:13.028 - Hey, man. Get your own.[br]- Hey. 1:00:13.333,1:00:14.925 - What?[br]- Beer. It's empty. 1:00:15.099,1:00:17.500 - So get another one.[br]- I'm gonna- 1:00:17.666,1:00:19.759 - Get off. Wait.[br]- What's your problem, man? 1:00:20.833,1:00:23.165 - Come on, man. Come on, Miller.[br]- Miller. 1:00:26.199,1:00:28.168 You suck. 1:00:30.366,1:00:33.563 - You suck, man. You suck.[br]- Shut it, you losers! 1:00:33.733,1:00:36.702 Want some of me? Come down here.[br]Come play with the big boys. 1:00:36.866,1:00:40.097 - You're a bully. You're a bully, man.[br]- Yeah, I thought so, you princess. 1:00:40.266,1:00:43.064 - Come on, you.[br]- Pick on somebody your own size. 1:00:43.233,1:00:45.224 Come on down here, then. 1:00:48.833,1:00:50.528 Who did that? 1:00:53.199,1:00:55.862 You. You're dead! 1:00:58.766,1:01:00.233 He's gonna kill me. 1:01:01.433,1:01:04.197 - Get out of my way.[br]- It wasn't me. It was the baby. 1:01:04.366,1:01:05.833 - You're mine.[br]- Get him. 1:01:06.000,1:01:07.433 Hockey fight! 1:01:13.733,1:01:16.759 He's got my ear.[br]Get this baby off of me. 1:01:21.266,1:01:25.168 - Hey. Hey, hey.[br]- Is that all you got? 1:01:29.300,1:01:30.767 I don't know, baby. 1:01:30.933,1:01:33.800 Maybe you're right.[br]Maybe I'm not ready to be a dad yet. 1:01:33.966,1:01:36.628 It really wasn't your fault. 1:01:36.933,1:01:38.992 It's so funny, man.[br]It just happened so fast. 1:01:39.166,1:01:41.031 I took my eyes off him[br]for one second and: 1:01:41.199,1:01:43.259 He would've never had[br]another birthday again. 1:01:45.599,1:01:48.535 Hey. Why don't we do that? 1:01:48.699,1:01:50.429 Why don't we throw him[br]a birthday party? 1:01:50.599,1:01:53.068 Well, we don't know[br]when his birthday is. 1:01:53.233,1:01:54.860 So what?[br]We'll celebrate it tomorrow. 1:01:55.033,1:01:58.560 We'll throw him a big birthday bash.[br]The biggest birthday party he ever had. 1:01:58.733,1:02:00.701 That is a really good idea. 1:02:01.066,1:02:05.002 And I got a little surprise for him. 1:02:05.166,1:02:07.225 Does everyone know[br]what time it is? 1:02:07.400,1:02:12.235 It's time to dance and sing,[br]and have lots and lots of fun. 1:02:12.400,1:02:15.062 Hey there, boys and girls,[br]it's Dinosaur Rex... 1:02:15.233,1:02:17.258 ...your favorite prehistoric pal. 1:02:17.433,1:02:19.526 Now, where's the birthday boy? 1:02:19.699,1:02:21.224 - There.[br]- Yo, no, no. 1:02:21.466,1:02:23.593 - Happy birthday.[br]- Hey, yo. 1:02:23.766,1:02:25.063 Happy birthday, little buddy 1:02:25.233,1:02:26.427 I got a nasty hangover... 1:02:26.599,1:02:28.363 ...and a rock stuck in my gut... 1:02:28.533,1:02:30.933 ...that got my colon backed up[br]like rush-hour traffic. 1:02:31.099,1:02:33.694 Now, either you're gonna stop[br]with your fruity kid songs... 1:02:33.866,1:02:36.232 ...or I'm gonna kick you[br]right in your furry balls. 1:02:36.766,1:02:38.700 - All right?[br]- Well... 1:02:38.866,1:02:41.061 ...maybe we should talk[br]about manners. 1:02:41.233,1:02:43.167 Now, manners are very important. 1:02:43.333,1:02:47.269 When I was a tiny lizard, my mom[br]told me that if I had good manners... 1:02:47.433,1:02:52.097 ...one day I could grow up to be[br]president of the whole United States. 1:02:52.266,1:02:54.632 But instead, you entertain[br]snotty-nosed kids... 1:02:54.800,1:02:56.461 ...in a crusty, blue dinosaur suit... 1:02:56.633,1:02:59.966 ...that smell like sweaty armpits[br]and baby urine. 1:03:01.233,1:03:02.700 Far cry from president, buddy. 1:03:06.699,1:03:08.861 I iust got out of rehab. 1:03:09.033,1:03:11.194 Because of the new[br]"deadbeat dad" law... 1:03:11.366,1:03:15.325 ...my wife's garnishing 85 percent[br]of my dinosaur wages. 1:03:15.500,1:03:19.402 So if I weren't afraid to lose this iob,[br]I'd kick your ass. 1:03:19.566,1:03:22.831 Oh, you so pathetic you need[br]$4.50 an hour that bad? 1:03:23.000,1:03:24.831 Come on, get your ass kicked. 1:03:28.833,1:03:30.926 - Bring it on.[br]- Come on. Come on, then. 1:03:32.000,1:03:35.094 - Hey.[br]- Oh, you mine now. You mine. 1:03:36.833,1:03:39.199 Get him, get him, get him. 1:03:42.533,1:03:44.194 You little bastard. 1:03:46.766,1:03:49.098 That was a cheap shot. 1:03:51.099,1:03:54.433 - You stink.[br]- I hate your show. 1:03:54.599,1:03:57.262 It has been confirmed,[br]the driver of the stolen vehicle... 1:03:57.433,1:04:00.960 ...matches the description of[br]the suspect in Friday's diamond heist. 1:04:01.133,1:04:03.499 - Police are looking to question...[br]- I knew it. 1:04:03.666,1:04:05.156 ...Calvin "Baby Face" Sims. 1:04:05.333,1:04:08.734 Sims, who was recently released from[br]state prison, has thus far eluded- 1:04:08.900,1:04:11.095 Hey, guys, what do you say[br]we liven this party up? 1:04:11.266,1:04:13.097 We have a little[br]father-son football game. 1:04:13.266,1:04:16.258 Football? Greg, I don't know.[br]I don't think that's a good idea. 1:04:16.433,1:04:19.163 Nicholas is a little young[br]and small for football. 1:04:19.333,1:04:21.858 How about Simon Says instead? 1:04:22.099,1:04:24.864 You know, Richard, your son[br]practically squats to pee. 1:04:25.433,1:04:28.197 Come on, man.[br]Look, we gotta scar these kids for life. 1:04:28.366,1:04:30.197 All right?[br]We gotta toughen them up a bit. 1:04:30.366,1:04:31.765 You don't- 1:04:32.400,1:04:33.389 - Come on.[br]- Come on. 1:04:33.566,1:04:35.830 Darryl, you in,[br]or does Calvin have ballet class? 1:04:36.000,1:04:37.092 I'm down. 1:04:37.566,1:04:39.227 - All right.[br]- All right, let's do it. 1:04:42.199,1:04:45.169 Football? That's not in the books.[br]I've read all the books. 1:04:45.333,1:04:47.858 Yeah, you're wetting yourself here.[br]Go play football. 1:04:48.033,1:04:49.660 - You sure?[br]- Rich, let's go. 1:04:49.833,1:04:53.496 - It's 7-O already.[br]- All right. I'm playing football. 1:04:53.666,1:04:55.725 Take off the sli- Oh, my God. 1:04:55.900,1:04:58.130 Whoa, here we go. 1:04:58.300,1:05:01.394 P- U-T-I-T-I-N[br]Put it in 1:05:01.599,1:05:04.763 P- U-T-I-T-I-N[br]Put it in 1:05:06.133,1:05:09.728 You and me, this is father-son stuff.[br]Right here, huh? Here we go. 1:05:09.900,1:05:13.358 - Ready, set...[br]- I love you, baby. 1:05:13.533,1:05:15.194 Hike. 1:05:15.366,1:05:17.425 One Victoria's Secret. Two- 1:05:18.599,1:05:20.158 - Oh, God.[br]- Yeah. 1:05:20.333,1:05:22.699 You want the hospital[br]or the graveyard, punk? 1:05:23.199,1:05:24.360 Yeah. 1:05:24.533,1:05:26.330 - Here we go.[br]- Are you okay? 1:05:26.500,1:05:29.333 - I thought this was a touch game.[br]- You have his license number? 1:05:29.500,1:05:31.900 - What is he doing?[br]- Sorry, D, did I hurt your vagina? 1:05:32.066,1:05:35.968 Our team is what? Dynamite[br]Our team is what? Dynamite 1:05:36.133,1:05:37.930 - What's going on?[br]- Our team is 1:05:39.133,1:05:40.157 Dynamite 1:05:40.333,1:05:41.493 Break. 1:05:43.866,1:05:45.663 Run, Dad. 1:05:48.833,1:05:50.494 Nicholas, are you okay? 1:05:50.666,1:05:52.531 Game on. 1:05:52.733,1:05:56.032 - Just stay down, son.[br]- Thattaboy. You did it. 1:05:56.633,1:05:59.397 Now, that's why we put creatine[br]in our corn flakes. 1:06:00.033,1:06:02.331 - You okay?[br]- Punch him, kick him 1:06:02.500,1:06:04.934 Stick him in the eye 1:06:06.433,1:06:08.424 Here we go, here we go. 1:06:08.599,1:06:10.727 All right, here we go.[br]Come on, boys. 1:06:16.566,1:06:19.694 - Yeah.[br]- Your husband is a brute. 1:06:19.866,1:06:21.493 - That's right.[br]- Yo, Greg, man. 1:06:21.666,1:06:23.327 You should be ashamed of yourself! 1:06:23.500,1:06:25.900 Hey, what are you doing, Greg?[br]Man, he's a kid. 1:06:26.066,1:06:28.864 Hey, Darryl, Darryl.[br]Shut your pie-hole, man! 1:06:29.033,1:06:31.763 - It's football. It's football.[br]- I know. 1:06:31.933,1:06:34.333 - Stop acting like a bitch.[br]- Why you starting, man? 1:06:34.500,1:06:37.731 Come on, let's go. Man, come on.[br]You guys suck. 1:06:38.133,1:06:40.260 It's time to kick some butt. Come on. 1:06:41.000,1:06:45.369 Ready, set, hike. 1:06:47.800,1:06:50.530 - I got him.[br]- Nicholas, block left. Come on. 1:06:53.366,1:06:55.766 - Tommy.[br]- How do you like them apples? 1:06:55.933,1:06:58.731 - Get him.[br]- Yeah, come on. 1:06:59.866,1:07:03.063 - Yeah.[br]- Yes. Yes. 1:07:06.666,1:07:10.534 Tommy, what's going on?[br]You call that a tackle? 1:07:11.000,1:07:12.695 Told you,[br]you gotta stay in the zone. 1:07:12.866,1:07:15.426 You gotta eat some lightning[br]and crap thunder, son. 1:07:15.599,1:07:18.364 You wanna get up?[br]Come on. Come on. Come on. 1:07:19.666,1:07:23.830 - Come on. Come on, man.[br]- Shut up, Darryl. It's my son. 1:07:24.699,1:07:29.330 All right, it's do-or-die time.[br]Last point wins. 1:07:30.199,1:07:32.668 Nicholas, you ready? 1:07:33.766,1:07:37.702 Purple Haze. Purple Haze 15. 1:07:38.033,1:07:42.231 Ready, set, hike. 1:07:43.433,1:07:44.661 Follow me. 1:07:46.766,1:07:48.859 - Go, Nicholas. Go, Nicholas.[br]- Come on, come on. 1:07:49.833,1:07:51.391 - Bring it on.[br]- Go. Go. 1:07:53.933,1:07:56.265 - Go. Oh, my goodness.[br]- Come on, get up. 1:07:57.433,1:07:59.424 Go, Nicholas. Go, Nicholas.[br]Go, Nicholas. 1:07:59.599,1:08:02.160 - Come on.[br]- Tommy, hurry. 1:08:02.333,1:08:05.700 This team is dynamite[br]We're dynamite 1:08:06.933,1:08:10.801 - That's my son.[br]- That is my boy. That is my boy. 1:08:10.966,1:08:13.901 You did it, son.[br]You crapped thunder. 1:08:14.066,1:08:16.694 Nine months inside. Yes. 1:08:17.265,1:08:18.698 Dad, Dad. 1:08:19.399,1:08:22.595 - Yeah, son?[br]- You suck. 1:08:23.198,1:08:24.997 Son, Dad hurt his pee-pee. 1:08:25.166,1:08:26.861 - Get up, you pussy.[br]- I can't. 1:08:31.033,1:08:34.024 All right, everybody, here she comes.[br]Everybody, on three. 1:08:34.366,1:08:36.765 One, two, three. 1:08:41.633,1:08:43.328 They trying to punk me. 1:08:45.466,1:08:48.492 All these people trying[br]to make a fool out of me. 1:08:48.666,1:08:50.224 Trying to make me cry. 1:08:50.500,1:08:55.493 I didn't cry when I went to prison,[br]and I ain't gonna cry now. 1:08:55.666,1:09:00.433 I don't care if I never had a mother[br]who threw me a party. 1:09:01.100,1:09:06.127 Today is my birthday[br]and I'm gonna smile, damn it. 1:09:09.933,1:09:11.627 I wish I had a family. 1:09:11.800,1:09:15.759 Well done, baby. What is this, Dad? 1:09:15.933,1:09:18.902 I got a gift for the kid.[br]I know I've been a little tough on him. 1:09:19.066,1:09:22.058 But it ain't easy when I've been[br]the center of all the attention... 1:09:22.233,1:09:24.724 ...and all of a sudden,[br]a kid walk in the house. A baby. 1:09:24.899,1:09:28.358 I want you to know now,[br]from now on, I'm here to help. 1:09:29.066,1:09:32.627 Now, Calvin, make a wish. 1:09:32.800,1:09:37.930 And I hope all of your wishes[br]come true. 1:09:49.765,1:09:51.323 Oh, great, you're here. 1:09:51.566,1:09:53.932 The bouncy's in the back.[br]Just go around the side. 1:09:54.100,1:09:55.567 No, I'm here to get my son. 1:09:57.166,1:09:58.861 Little dude. Little man. 1:09:59.166,1:10:00.793 - Son?[br]- That's right. 1:10:00.966,1:10:04.026 I didn't think I could do it,[br]but I got myself together, baby. 1:10:04.199,1:10:07.363 So if you iust give me the boy,[br]we're gonna slide out of here. 1:10:07.533,1:10:11.196 So you're the guy[br]who left his baby on my doorstep... 1:10:11.366,1:10:14.199 - ... in a dog basket?[br]- That's right, but that was a mistake. 1:10:14.366,1:10:16.197 The guy who gave[br]his own kid a tattoo? 1:10:16.366,1:10:18.891 Wait. I can explain that.[br]His mother was in the service. 1:10:19.066,1:10:22.797 The person responsible for allowing[br]his baby boy to take a knife in the gut? 1:10:22.966,1:10:24.593 Wait. The boy needed discipline. 1:10:24.766,1:10:26.358 - You should be castrated.[br]- What? 1:10:26.533,1:10:28.398 Ain't nothing wrong[br]with my bowel movement. 1:10:28.566,1:10:31.194 I go two, three times a day.[br]Let me tell you something. 1:10:31.366,1:10:33.357 I ain't got to explain nothing.[br]I'm a grown- 1:10:33.533,1:10:36.832 You iust caught yourself the official[br]Brooklyn beat-down, homes. 1:10:37.000,1:10:39.161 You iust entered the dragon,[br]homeboy. 1:10:39.333,1:10:41.631 Word up. I'm gonna tap you[br]right on your Flintstone. 1:10:41.800,1:10:44.530 Here it come, homeboy.[br]Here it come, homeboy. Here it- 1:10:49.166,1:10:50.861 Who is Mike Jones? 1:10:52.666,1:10:54.725 Get the hell out of here.[br]And don't come back. 1:10:57.699,1:10:59.634 I want my mother. 1:11:00.600,1:11:04.229 Looks like Percy's partner[br]decided to keep the rock for himself. 1:11:04.399,1:11:07.267 - Better go tell Mr. Walken.[br]- Yeah. 1:11:07.533,1:11:11.401 There you go. Good. 1:11:12.066,1:11:13.533 - Come on.[br]- Honestly, Janet... 1:11:13.699,1:11:15.099 ...I don't know how you do it. 1:11:15.266,1:11:17.427 - What's that, sweetie?[br]- All of this. 1:11:17.600,1:11:19.830 The parenting, the responsibility. 1:11:20.000,1:11:22.298 It's really no different[br]than any other career. 1:11:23.000,1:11:26.265 I mean, you have scheduling, you[br]have planning. Budgeting, of course. 1:11:26.433,1:11:29.061 I guess the big difference[br]is that my boss... 1:11:29.233,1:11:31.394 ...I want to slather in kisses[br]all day long. 1:11:31.766,1:11:34.758 And I can, without being sued[br]for sexual harassment. 1:11:36.566,1:11:38.761 And you don't miss the iob at all? 1:11:38.933,1:11:41.766 You know,[br]sometimes I think I miss it... 1:11:41.933,1:11:44.401 ...but then I remember[br]all they really liked about me... 1:11:44.566,1:11:46.397 ...was the money[br]that I made for them. 1:11:46.899,1:11:51.803 You know? I mean, this...[br]This is real. These guys dig me. 1:11:51.966,1:11:56.062 I am a diva, a giant, a goddess. 1:11:56.233,1:11:58.701 I'm perfect. Aren't I perfect? 1:12:01.366,1:12:03.391 Mommy, I don't feel good. 1:12:03.566,1:12:05.864 What's the matter, honey?[br]You got a tummy ache? 1:12:06.033,1:12:09.594 Yeah? Think maybe it's from[br]eating 16 pieces of cake... 1:12:09.766,1:12:11.290 ...and beef ierky... 1:12:11.466,1:12:13.730 ...and a balloon? Yeah. 1:12:15.466,1:12:19.368 - Is he gonna be okay?[br]- Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. 1:12:19.533,1:12:21.023 Just a little teaspoon of this- 1:12:21.199,1:12:22.428 It is magic. 1:12:22.600,1:12:26.400 and he will poop very shortly. 1:12:27.033,1:12:28.694 It'll slide right out. 1:12:30.699,1:12:31.758 Good boy. 1:12:32.166,1:12:34.100 Well, maybe you should[br]take him home. 1:12:34.266,1:12:35.893 Yes, maybe we shall. 1:12:36.066,1:12:39.035 - You wanna go home?[br]- And you too. Yeah. 1:12:40.366,1:12:42.561 Oh, goodness,[br]what do you feed this kid? 1:12:42.733,1:12:44.166 What do I feed you? 1:12:44.333,1:12:46.267 - All right. I'll see you soon?[br]- Okay. 1:12:46.433,1:12:48.230 - Thank you.[br]- See you later. Come on, hon. 1:12:48.399,1:12:51.631 Such a good boy,[br]helping your mom. 1:13:13.800,1:13:16.360 Oh, sweetie. Wha-? 1:13:16.699,1:13:20.431 Oh, honey, what's wrong? Sweetie? 1:13:20.600,1:13:23.694 - Hey, little man, what's the matter?[br]- I don't think he's feeling well. 1:13:23.866,1:13:25.663 Are you okay? 1:13:29.000,1:13:31.628 What's the matter,[br]you gotta make a poo-poos? 1:13:32.966,1:13:36.402 You gotta make a poo-poo.[br]He gotta make a little poo-poo, yeah. 1:13:39.300,1:13:40.699 God. 1:13:41.266,1:13:43.427 What's going on, man, huh? 1:13:57.366,1:14:00.392 Ain't that cute.[br]He made a little surprise... 1:14:00.566,1:14:01.965 ...for Mommy. 1:14:02.133,1:14:03.395 - Mom-? For me?[br]- Go ahead. 1:14:03.566,1:14:06.763 - Mommy take care.[br]- Darryl, why me? I did it last time. 1:14:06.933,1:14:08.833 Wash your hands[br]before you make dinner. 1:14:09.000,1:14:10.797 Come on, Calvin. 1:14:11.600,1:14:12.726 Come on. 1:14:20.500,1:14:22.434 Man, what a day. 1:14:24.566,1:14:27.126 - I can't believe you did this.[br]- Did what? 1:14:27.300,1:14:30.701 - This. Darryl, it's so beautiful.[br]- I did- I- 1:14:30.866,1:14:33.198 It's so romantic,[br]the way you put it in his diaper. 1:14:33.366,1:14:36.494 Then you made me change him[br]even though I didn't want to. Oh, so- 1:14:37.233,1:14:39.428 - No, but, honey-[br]- We should go out and celebrate. 1:14:39.600,1:14:41.227 - Somewhere nice? I'll change.[br]- Wait. 1:14:41.399,1:14:43.925 Thank you, baby.[br]I love it, I love it, I love it. 1:14:44.100,1:14:47.365 - I love it, I love it, I love it.[br]- I gotta talk to you. 1:14:47.533,1:14:49.364 - Baby, come here.[br]- Damn. 1:14:52.699,1:14:54.429 Are you sure you guys[br]are gonna be okay? 1:14:54.600,1:14:58.559 - We'll be fine, won't we, little boy?[br]- I love Papa. 1:14:58.733,1:15:00.360 - All right. Bye.[br]- Okay. 1:15:00.533,1:15:02.763 Y'all have a good time, now.[br]I know we will. 1:15:05.033,1:15:06.728 Bye-bye. 1:15:07.233,1:15:11.397 We going to have a good time.[br]He's a nice little boy too. Yes, indeedy. 1:15:11.566,1:15:14.501 He's a cute little boy too.[br]Look at the little baby. 1:15:14.666,1:15:18.397 Yeah, he's a good little boy.[br]One, two, three. 1:15:20.600,1:15:22.932 Now, you come clean,[br]you little punk. Who are you? 1:15:23.100,1:15:25.830 Where you from? What you all about?[br]What is all this? 1:15:29.399,1:15:32.392 Look here, old man.[br]You been a real pain in my butt. 1:15:32.566,1:15:34.932 And you're right,[br]I did rob that jewelry store. 1:15:35.100,1:15:38.069 And now there's some[br]real bad people after me. 1:15:38.233,1:15:40.394 And the people you love[br]are gonna get hurt... 1:15:40.566,1:15:42.033 ...if I don't get that diamond. 1:15:42.199,1:15:46.762 And I don't want that to happen,[br]so you better just stay out of my way. 1:15:52.766,1:15:55.428 Hey, yo, Percy, it's me.[br]Be here in a hour. 1:15:55.600,1:15:58.228 - I'll have the diamond then.[br]- How can you do this to us? 1:15:58.833,1:16:00.994 We took you in,[br]thought you were a child in need. 1:16:01.166,1:16:04.727 - You turn out to be a lowlife thief.[br]- Look, I didn't mean for it to go this far. 1:16:04.899,1:16:06.993 I was iust trying[br]to get my diamond and be out. 1:16:07.166,1:16:11.227 - You ain't getting away with it.[br]- Then it's time to dance. Come on. 1:16:12.466,1:16:14.229 - Baby, I-[br]- Sweetheart... 1:16:14.399,1:16:16.425 ...this means so much to me. 1:16:16.600,1:16:18.693 I know it's not real.[br]Look at the size of this. 1:16:18.866,1:16:20.857 There's no way[br]you could afford that, but... 1:16:21.066,1:16:25.560 Well, it's what the ring symbolizes[br]that makes it so special to me. 1:16:25.733,1:16:28.395 - Yeah, about that, baby. I didn't-[br]- Please. Let me finish. 1:16:28.566,1:16:32.730 Please. I know that you are[br]not the one who isn't ready. It's me. 1:16:32.899,1:16:35.494 I have always needed[br]for everything to fit my schedule. 1:16:35.666,1:16:39.033 And you have shown me that[br]sometimes life doesn't work that way. 1:16:39.199,1:16:43.068 It's unpredictable, and sometimes[br]you have to go with the flow and... 1:16:43.233,1:16:45.224 I'll never be ready[br]until it just happens. 1:16:45.399,1:16:48.699 - Vanessa, I iust wanna tell you-[br]- I think that we should just do it. 1:16:49.733,1:16:51.360 Do what? 1:16:51.600,1:16:52.897 Let's adopt him. 1:16:53.066,1:16:55.557 Tomorrow let's take the baby[br]to Child Services... 1:16:55.733,1:16:57.030 ...and start the paperwork. 1:16:57.199,1:16:58.758 You mean we can keep him? 1:16:58.933,1:17:00.833 - Yeah.[br]- Yes. 1:17:02.100,1:17:04.034 So, what did you wanna tell me? 1:17:06.333,1:17:07.322 Nothing. 1:17:07.500,1:17:09.331 Nothing at all. Let's- Let's toast. 1:17:09.833,1:17:11.460 Okay. 1:17:15.000,1:17:16.729 You don't mess[br]with a man from Detroit. 1:17:16.899,1:17:18.060 I'm from Detroit. 1:17:18.233,1:17:20.428 The hell you doing? 1:17:20.600,1:17:22.500 - What's going on?[br]- Daddy, get off of him. 1:17:22.666,1:17:24.691 - Get off of the baby.[br]- Stop it. 1:17:24.866,1:17:26.356 Ain't no baby. That's a criminal. 1:17:26.533,1:17:29.696 I have had it with you.[br]I'm calling Whispering Glen. 1:17:29.866,1:17:31.128 Vanessa, I ain't crazy. 1:17:31.300,1:17:34.030 You see, I know what is[br]and I know what ain't is. 1:17:34.199,1:17:36.361 And he ain't is what he say he is. 1:17:36.533,1:17:38.728 You see, "is" is and "ain'ts" ain't. 1:17:39.166,1:17:40.861 Check the teddy bear.[br]The teddy bear. 1:17:41.033,1:17:42.500 Teddy bear knows. 1:17:42.666,1:17:45.362 - Come on, then. Please.[br]- We'll take good care of your father. 1:17:45.533,1:17:47.592 Whispering Glen is a safe facility. 1:17:47.766,1:17:49.825 Give him[br]a couple of days to adjust... 1:17:50.000,1:17:52.332 - Let me go.[br]- ... and then come visit. 1:18:00.399,1:18:04.427 Vanessa, believe me.[br]"Is" is, "ain'ts" ain't. 1:18:04.600,1:18:06.568 Use the Taser if you have to. 1:18:06.733,1:18:08.200 Check the teddy bear. 1:18:08.366,1:18:09.856 The teddy bear. 1:18:12.033,1:18:13.898 I'm gonna go put him to bed. 1:18:14.500,1:18:16.024 Yeah. 1:18:24.500,1:18:25.489 Man. 1:18:26.500,1:18:29.867 How does one child turn a household[br]upside down in a weekend? 1:18:30.266,1:18:33.326 Look at this place. It's a mess. 1:18:48.399,1:18:50.265 Check the teddy bear.[br]The teddy bear. 1:18:50.433,1:18:51.957 Teddy bear knows. 1:18:54.333,1:18:55.891 Grandpa bad. 1:18:56.066,1:18:58.694 No. No, baby. No, no, no. 1:18:58.866,1:19:01.357 Papa's not bad.[br]He didn't mean to hurt you. He just- 1:19:02.100,1:19:05.194 He's a little... Yeah. 1:19:32.199,1:19:34.896 Wow, look here, old man.[br]You've been a real pain in the butt. 1:19:35.600,1:19:37.830 And you're right,[br]I did rob that jewelry store. 1:19:38.000,1:19:40.594 And now there's[br]a lot of bad people a_er me. 1:19:40.766,1:19:42.358 People you love[br]are gonna get hurt... 1:19:42.533,1:19:44.091 ...if I don't get the diamond back. 1:19:44.266,1:19:45.528 Vanessa. 1:19:45.699,1:19:46.860 Vanessa. 1:19:47.566,1:19:50.126 - Where's Calvin?[br]- I put him in the cr- 1:19:50.300,1:19:52.530 - Where's the diamond?[br]- It was- 1:19:53.366,1:19:55.561 - Gone.[br]- Damn. Pops was right. 1:19:55.733,1:19:58.600 - I'm calling the police.[br]- I'm gonna get my dad. 1:20:00.300,1:20:01.426 Dad! 1:20:01.600,1:20:03.966 Yes, I have some information[br]on a stolen diamond. 1:20:04.766,1:20:06.290 That's what I'm talking about. 1:20:06.466,1:20:08.297 We did it. We rich, baby. 1:20:10.199,1:20:13.397 - Yes. Just in the nick of time.[br]- We blinging. 1:20:13.566,1:20:15.534 Walken and his goons[br]is going to that house. 1:20:15.933,1:20:17.161 - What?[br]- Don't worry. 1:20:17.333,1:20:19.301 He thinks Darryl's my partner. 1:20:19.466,1:20:22.367 You idiot. Walken will kill him[br]if he don't have his diamond. 1:20:22.533,1:20:25.764 Exactly. Which means[br]he won't be coming after you. 1:20:25.933,1:20:29.369 It's perfect. We get away scot-free. 1:20:31.566,1:20:33.124 This is the time you hit me, right? 1:20:36.466,1:20:37.990 Let me pull over. 1:20:41.000,1:20:44.299 Don't start beating me[br]like I'm a R & B singer, man. 1:20:45.933,1:20:49.027 Police is here. Hey. 1:20:50.166,1:20:52.191 Hey. Can I help you? 1:20:52.366,1:20:54.334 Is this the guy that[br]double-crossed Percy? 1:20:54.500,1:20:55.728 Yeah, that's the guy, boss. 1:20:55.899,1:20:59.097 I don't know anybody named Percy.[br]You must got the wrong guy. 1:20:59.399,1:21:01.868 - Cut the crap. I want my diamond.[br]- I don't have it. 1:21:02.033,1:21:04.661 Too bad. I guess we're gonna[br]have to beat it out of you. 1:21:04.833,1:21:07.563 I iust called the police.[br]And they're on their way over here. 1:21:07.933,1:21:10.197 Really? That doesn't leave us[br]much time then. 1:21:11.366,1:21:14.028 - Take him.[br]- Wait, wait, wait. Wait, guys. 1:21:15.666,1:21:16.826 Dada? 1:21:19.600,1:21:21.227 Dada. 1:21:22.133,1:21:23.191 Who's this little guy? 1:21:24.500,1:21:26.058 That's my son. 1:21:28.699,1:21:29.724 Take him upstairs. 1:21:31.666,1:21:34.100 - I wanna talk to you.[br]- Cute kid. 1:21:34.266,1:21:36.894 It's- Just- I don't have-[br]Listen. That's my nipple. 1:21:41.899,1:21:43.026 Time to take a nap. 1:21:43.199,1:21:44.792 Night-night? 1:21:44.966,1:21:47.901 And don't worry about any loud noises[br]you may hear downstairs. 1:21:48.066,1:21:50.330 It's iust us beating up your daddy. 1:21:52.500,1:21:54.092 Here you are. 1:21:57.233,1:21:59.394 Nighty-night. 1:22:35.566,1:22:36.897 Click. 1:22:42.199,1:22:44.760 Now tell me, where's my diamond? 1:22:44.933,1:22:46.230 I told you, I don't have it. 1:22:46.399,1:22:48.334 You don't tell me[br]where my diamond is... 1:22:48.500,1:22:52.129 ...that cute little baby of yours[br]is gonna get hurt. 1:22:58.533,1:23:01.093 Moron, get the kid. Get the kid. 1:23:02.800,1:23:04.028 I want him. 1:23:09.833,1:23:11.300 There you are, little buddy. 1:23:12.566,1:23:13.965 Come on. 1:23:14.133,1:23:15.464 Come to Uncle Rosco. 1:23:24.399,1:23:26.027 Okay. Play nicey-nicey. 1:23:55.866,1:23:57.731 Okay, get your ass up. 1:23:57.899,1:24:00.869 Yeah, get up. I got you now. 1:24:01.033,1:24:02.557 Yeah. Yeah. 1:24:03.399,1:24:04.662 Ain't so tough now, are you? 1:24:09.166,1:24:10.827 Back up. Or I'll shoot you. 1:24:11.233,1:24:13.098 Shoot me, tough guy. Come on. 1:24:15.766,1:24:16.926 Oh, boy. 1:24:17.100,1:24:18.499 I'm surrounded by morons. 1:24:19.000,1:24:20.865 Here. You dropped your gun, sir. 1:24:21.033,1:24:23.501 Here you go. It's all yours. 1:24:23.666,1:24:25.531 - What are you gonna do?[br]- Wait, wait, I- 1:24:25.699,1:24:28.464 Come on, get out of here. Come on. 1:24:32.899,1:24:33.924 All right, dude. 1:24:34.100,1:24:38.560 You busted my Sergio da Vincis,[br]$62.50 designer frames. 1:24:38.733,1:24:41.725 Not cool. Not cool. 1:24:42.233,1:24:43.427 Okay, buddy. 1:24:43.600,1:24:46.000 We can either do this the easy way[br]or the hard way. 1:24:46.833,1:24:50.269 I think I like it the hard way. 1:24:59.666,1:25:01.156 Did we get him? 1:25:01.866,1:25:03.094 He's yours, man. 1:25:11.366,1:25:12.355 Dude... 1:25:13.566,1:25:15.431 ...you iust woke the dragon up. 1:25:15.600,1:25:17.261 Prepare for pain. 1:25:17.433,1:25:20.231 It's time for the dragon[br]to go back to sleep. 1:25:32.233,1:25:34.030 What are you doing? 1:25:36.366,1:25:39.267 - Stop.[br]- You going down, Sasquatch. 1:25:39.433,1:25:41.230 Better not. 1:26:00.766,1:26:02.290 What the hell is going on here? 1:26:02.466,1:26:03.990 That ain't no baby. 1:26:04.166,1:26:05.360 - Who else is here?[br]- Nobody. 1:26:05.533,1:26:07.899 - Who's here?[br]- Nobody, I swear. 1:26:08.066,1:26:09.658 Come on. 1:26:09.833,1:26:12.165 Inside. Inside. 1:26:13.399,1:26:14.628 There's the little monster. 1:26:15.233,1:26:17.201 Listen, what does he got there? 1:26:17.566,1:26:20.057 - It's an airplane.[br]- Tell him to get rid of the plane. 1:26:21.399,1:26:22.458 Get rid of it. 1:26:23.733,1:26:25.997 Calvin, throw the plane. 1:26:36.100,1:26:37.089 What are you doing? 1:26:43.399,1:26:45.027 Don't move. 1:26:46.300,1:26:47.961 Save it, tough guy. 1:26:48.133,1:26:50.260 You're not gonna shoot me. 1:26:50.833,1:26:52.061 But I will. 1:26:53.899,1:26:55.026 Freeze! Police! 1:26:55.199,1:26:56.633 Freeze! Police! 1:26:56.800,1:26:58.791 I got this. You check the house. 1:26:59.933,1:27:02.868 Black cops, come with me.[br]White lady, you stay here. 1:27:03.066,1:27:05.091 I'm telling you, guys,[br]that ain't no baby. 1:27:05.266,1:27:07.496 He's the mastermind[br]behind the whole thing. 1:27:07.666,1:27:09.190 Get him out of here. 1:27:09.366,1:27:11.926 He's a stone-cold killer, that kid. 1:27:13.333,1:27:14.823 Would you get this thing off me? 1:27:15.000,1:27:18.401 Relax. Where you're going,[br]you might want to keep that on. 1:27:18.966,1:27:20.729 I don't wanna go to iail. 1:27:20.899,1:27:22.993 It's too dark. There's no TV. 1:27:27.966,1:27:29.661 Hey, where you going, little guy? 1:27:33.100,1:27:34.897 Ain't this your kid? 1:27:35.066,1:27:36.090 Dada? 1:27:37.600,1:27:39.833 Yeah, that's my son. 1:27:39.833,1:27:41.528 Now, Calvin... 1:27:41.666,1:27:43.930 ...don't you have something[br]for the nice policeman? 1:27:45.566,1:27:47.431 - No.[br]- Come on. 1:27:47.600,1:27:50.535 You don't wanna go to prison[br]with the rest of the bad men, do you? 1:27:56.266,1:27:57.358 There we go. 1:27:57.533,1:27:59.592 Hey, the diamond. 1:27:59.766,1:28:02.530 Thanks, kid. Now your dad's[br]gonna get a big reward. 1:28:02.699,1:28:05.032 - A reward?[br]- Yeah, the insurance company... 1:28:05.199,1:28:07.896 ...offered $ 1 OO,OOO[br]to whoever found the diamond. 1:28:08.066,1:28:09.658 A hundred thousand dollars? 1:28:10.266,1:28:11.733 God, that's gonna come in handy. 1:28:11.899,1:28:13.424 Shoot, I could get my car fixed... 1:28:13.600,1:28:15.329 ...get a new wedding ring[br]for my wife... 1:28:15.500,1:28:18.833 ...I could take a vacation,[br]buy a TV set- 1:28:19.300,1:28:21.200 And if there's[br]any change left over... 1:28:21.366,1:28:24.267 ...I'll give a little something[br]to my son. 1:28:24.600,1:28:27.262 Right. Well, we'll be in touch. 1:28:37.600,1:28:38.726 So... 1:28:39.000,1:28:41.798 Oh, come on.[br]Let's not get all mushy about this. 1:28:41.966,1:28:44.935 Let's iust shake hands[br]and part ways like men. 1:28:45.100,1:28:47.034 All right? No hard feelings? 1:28:47.433,1:28:49.833 - Nah, no hard feelings.[br]- All right. 1:28:50.000,1:28:52.867 Besides, it was kind of cool[br]having a son for a minute. 1:28:53.033,1:28:56.025 See? There you go[br]with all that sentimental stuff. 1:28:56.899,1:28:58.492 If that's the game you wanna play... 1:28:58.666,1:29:01.567 ...I guess it was cool[br]having you as a fa- 1:29:01.966,1:29:03.126 Oh, boy. 1:29:03.300,1:29:07.361 What I'm trying to say is,[br]I've never really had a daddy. 1:29:08.166,1:29:09.463 I guess what I'm saying is... 1:29:09.633,1:29:11.794 ...you're gonna make a great father,[br]all right? 1:29:11.966,1:29:13.695 There, I said it. Are you happy now? 1:29:15.133,1:29:16.964 Now, I'm gonna walk out[br]that back door... 1:29:17.133,1:29:20.899 ...and you ain't gonna[br]see me no more. Ever. 1:29:21.899,1:29:23.663 - But-[br]- Oh, it hurts. 1:29:23.833,1:29:25.664 - We-[br]- I know. 1:29:25.833,1:29:27.323 We'll never see each other again. 1:29:27.500,1:29:29.798 - But we-[br]- Maybe that's for the best. 1:29:29.966,1:29:31.126 You'll start a family... 1:29:31.300,1:29:34.201 ...and you won't need[br]a lowlife criminal like... 1:29:34.366,1:29:36.197 ...Calvin Sims around anymore. 1:29:36.366,1:29:39.893 Actually what I was gonna say is,[br]we don't have a back door. 1:29:40.066,1:29:42.398 Okay, well, then I'll go out the front. 1:29:43.300,1:29:45.825 - Fine.[br]- Well... 1:29:46.433,1:29:50.836 I'll be out of your lives for good,[br]never to return again. 1:29:51.399,1:29:52.992 Cool. 1:29:56.600,1:29:57.999 So long. 1:29:58.166,1:30:01.693 Farewell. Oh, God. 1:30:04.766,1:30:08.099 Aren't you gonna miss me?[br]Just a little bit? 1:30:08.266,1:30:11.758 - See you around, buddy.[br]- No? 1:30:12.333,1:30:13.527 Take care. 1:30:14.033,1:30:15.660 Goodbye. 1:30:15.833,1:30:21.032 It's so hard to say goodbye 1:30:35.366,1:30:37.493 Why? 1:30:38.300,1:30:42.396 Nobody loves Calvin. 1:30:42.566,1:30:44.557 Because I'm short. 1:30:45.566,1:30:48.660 - They think I'm ugly.[br]- Hey, little man. 1:30:49.566,1:30:51.261 Wanna share a glass of milk? 1:31:01.233,1:31:04.031 Enough of all this girlie stuff.[br]This ain't Brokeback Mountain. 1:31:05.166,1:31:07.726 Hey, how about we put a little[br]bit of liquor in that milk? 1:31:07.899,1:31:09.697 Forget that. Let's go to a bar. 1:31:09.866,1:31:11.026 All right. Bet. 1:31:11.199,1:31:13.691 - Are you over 21?[br]- And then some. 1:31:13.899,1:31:15.424 All right. 1:31:17.666,1:31:19.793 Hey, I know this great strip club. 1:31:20.233,1:31:22.167 Don't say that loud.[br]My wife might get mad. 1:31:22.333,1:31:24.096 - Oh, sorry.[br]- Got change of a hundred? 1:31:24.266,1:31:26.564 - No, we steal it from Pops.[br]- All right. All singles. 1:31:40.000,1:31:42.730 You a cute little fellow.[br]Yes, you are. 1:31:42.899,1:31:45.664 Take after your mama.[br]You got a lot of grandpoppy in you too. 1:31:45.833,1:31:50.065 Yes, you do, little boy.[br]Look at the little boy. 1:31:50.500,1:31:52.229 Where's the bottle?[br]The kid is starving. 1:31:52.399,1:31:54.732 I'm coming. I'm coming. Old grouch. 1:31:55.466,1:31:56.763 Here he comes, little boy. 1:31:56.933,1:32:01.461 Don't worry.[br]We gonna get you some milk. Yeah. 1:32:01.833,1:32:04.063 That little guy's so cute... 1:32:04.233,1:32:06.428 ...it's making me go soft. 1:32:06.600,1:32:08.932 He look iust like his daddy. 1:32:11.500,1:32:13.991 Howdy-do, little boy. 1:39:00.283,1:39:01.409 So... 1:39:01.683,1:39:04.481 Oh, come on.[br]Let's not get all mushy about this. 1:39:04.650,1:39:07.619 Let's iust shake hands[br]and part ways like men. 1:39:07.783,1:39:09.717 All right? No hard feelings? 1:39:34.650,1:39:36.379 There, I said it. Are you happy now? 1:39:37.816,1:39:39.647 Now, I'm gonna walk out[br]that back door... 1:39:39.816,1:39:43.582 ...and you ain't gonna[br]see me no more. Ever.