WEBVTT

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[This talk contains mature content]

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When I was 14,

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my parents intended to marry me off
to a man of their choosing.

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I refused.

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That choice to defy my family
shaped everything in my life

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and set me on the path
to become who I am today.

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But it was very painful at times
and continues to be so.

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My parents were raised in traditional,
uneducated Moroccan families

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where a girl's main value
is measured by her virginity.

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They emigrated to Belgium,

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and I was born, raised and educated there.

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I did not accept their view of the world.

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When I said no to them,

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I paid for it dearly in terms of
physical and emotional abuse.

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But eventually, I escaped from their home

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and became a federal police detective

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who could help protect
the rights of others.

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My specialty was investigating
cases in counterterrorism,

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child abduction and homicide.

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I loved that work,

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and it was extremely fulfilling.

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With my Muslim background,
Arabic language skills

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and an interest
in working internationally,

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I decided to seek new challenges.

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After decades of being a police officer,

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I was recruited to become an investigator
of sexual and gender-based violence

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as a member of the Justice Rapid Response
and UN Women roster.

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Justice Rapid Response is an organization

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for criminal investigations
of mass atrocities.

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They run on both public
and private funding

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and provide evidence and reports
to more than 100 participating countries.

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Many countries in conflict
are often unable to provide a just process

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to those who have been
victims of mass violence.

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To respond to that,

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Justice Rapid Response was created
in partnership with UN Women.

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Together,

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Justice Rapid Response and UN Women
recruited, trained and certified

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more than 250 professionals

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with a specific expertise
in sexual and gender-based violence,

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like me.

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Our investigations are carried out
under international law,

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and our findings eventually become
evidence to prosecute war criminals.

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This mechanism provides hope to victims

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that justice and accountability
may someday be found

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in the wake of war and conflict.

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Let me tell you about the most
challenging work I have ever done.

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This was in Iraq.

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Since the rise of the Islamic State
of Iraq and Syria, or ISIS,

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this group has systematically
attacked and tortured

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many religious minorities and ethnicities,

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such as the Christians,

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the Shia Turkmen, Shia Muslims,
Shia Shabaks and the Yazidis.

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The persecution of the Yazidis
has been especially horrific.

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On the 3rd and 15th of August 2014,

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ISIS attacked approximately
20 villages and towns in Sinjar, Iraq.

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They executed all the males
over the age of 14,

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including the elderly and disabled.

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They divided up the women and girls,

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raped them

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and sold them into sexual
and domestic slavery.

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One month later,

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a UN Human Rights Council resolution
led to the fact-finding mission on Iraq

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to investigate and document
alleged violations and abuses

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committed by ISIS and associated groups.

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I was sent to investigate the atrocities
committed against the Yazidis,

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with a focus on sexual
and gender-based crimes.

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The Yazidis are a Kurdish-speaking
ethnoreligious community

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based in Northern Iraq.

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Their belief system incorporates
aspects of Judaism, Christianity,

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Islam and Zoroastrianism.

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For hundreds of years,

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Muslims and Christians
who do not understand their beliefs

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have condemned the Yazidis
as devil worshippers.

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ISIS thought of them in this way
and vowed to destroy them.

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OK, let's do an experimental thought here.

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I want you to think about
your worst sexual experience

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and recall it in detail.

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Now turn to the person to your right

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and describe that experience.

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(Laughter)

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I know it's difficult, eh?

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(Laughter)

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But, of course, I don't
expect you to do that.

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You would all be uncomfortable
and embarrassed.

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And so imagine an 11-year-old girl
in the Middle East

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who was not educated about sexuality,

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who was taken from her comfort zone,

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her family,

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who witnessed the execution
of her father and brothers,

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having to describe in detail

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the rape that she faced in a culture
where talking about sexuality is taboo.

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Her only way of recovering her honor
is to hide the crime,

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believe she was married against her will,

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or deny the events out of shame
and fear of being rejected.

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I interviewed a girl
who I will call "Ayda."

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She was purchased
by an ISIS leader, or emir,

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together with 13 other girls
aged between 11 and 18 years old.

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Amongst the group were
her three nieces and two cousins.

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The 14 girls were taken
to a house full of ISIS fighters.

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An imam was present who made it clear
that their religion was wrong,

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and the only good path was to accept Islam
and marry a Muslim man.

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The emir wrote the names of the girls
on 14 small pieces of paper.

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Two ISIS fighters would pick
a piece of paper each.

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They would call out the name
written on the paper,

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and those girls were forcibly taken
into another room.

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While the emir and the imam
heard the two girls screaming

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as they were being raped,

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they began laughing.

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Both were telling the other girls

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that the two girls should enjoy
the experience instead of screaming.

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After a while, the girls
were brought back into the room.

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They were in shock and were bleeding.

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They confirmed that they had been married
and suffered a lot of pain.

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It is important to consider the fact
that they had been raised

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to believe in sexual intercourse
with one man in their lifetime:

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their husband.

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The only connection that they could make
in their shocked state

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is to define their rape as marriage.

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Before the next two girls
were taken to be raped,

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Ayda made a terrifying decision.

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As the oldest of the group,
she convinced the emir

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to let them use the bathroom in order
to wash themselves before marriage.

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Ayda had been told by one of the girls

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that she noticed rat poison
in the bathroom.

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The 14 girls decided
to end their suffering

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by drinking the poison.

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Before the poison took full effect,

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they were discovered by ISIS
and taken to the hospital,

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where they survived.

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ISIS decided to separate the girls

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and sell them individually.

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Ayda was taken to another house
and brutally raped

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after she attempted again
to kill herself with her headscarf.

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She was beaten and raped every two days.

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After four months in captivity,

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Ayda found the courage to escape.

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She never saw the other 13 girls again.

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I interviewed Ayda multiple times.

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She was willing to speak to me
because she had heard from other victims

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that there was a woman from the UN
who understood her complicated culture.

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I looked into her eyes

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and listened deeply to the stories
of her darkest hours.

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We established a personal connection
that continues to this day.

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My upbringing made it easy for me
to understand her extreme sense of shame

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and her fear of being rejected.

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These types of investigations are not only
about gathering information and evidence,

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but they're also about victim support.

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The bonds I established with the victims

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strengthens their confidence
and willingness to seek justice.

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As she considered her escape,

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Ayda, like all Yazidi survivors,

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faced a dilemma:

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Should she continue to suffer
the abuse of her captors,

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or would it be better to return home,

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where she would face shame, rejection

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and possibly honor killing?

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I know all too well the pain
of being rejected

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by my Moroccan community in Belgium,

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and I did not want this to happen
to the Yazidi community.

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So a group of concerned entities,

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including the UN, NGOs, politicians
and members of the Yazidi community

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approached a religious leader,

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Baba Sheikh.

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After many meetings,

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he realized that these girls
had not disrespected their religion

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by being forcibly converted to Islam

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and married to ISIS fighters.

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Instead, they have been abducted,
raped and sexually enslaved.

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I am happy to report
that, after our meetings,

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Baba Sheikh announced publicly

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that the survivors should be
treated as victims

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and embraced by the community.

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This message was heard
throughout the community

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and eventually reached the survivors
being held captive by ISIS.

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After his declaration of support,

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the survivors were motivated
to escape from ISIS

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as Ayda has done,

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and many young Yazidi women
took the bold step

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and returned home to their communities.

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Baba Sheikh's public pronouncement

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saved the lives of many
young Yazidi women,

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both in captivity and after their escape.

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Sadly, not all religious leaders
agreed to talk with us.

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Some victims had far
worse outcomes than the Yazidis.

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For example, only 43
of the 500-600 victims

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from the Shia Turkmen community

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were able to return home
after escaping ISIS.

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Some of them were advised by their family

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to stay with ISIS

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or commit suicide in order
to save the honor of the family.

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Germany established a project
to support survivors of ISIS

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by providing psychosocial support
and housing for 1,100 women and children,

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including Ayda.

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I visited Ayda several times
during my work.

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I am so proud of her
and the other victims.

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The progress they have made is remarkable.

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It is really moving to see
how many of them,

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despite their struggles,

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have benefited from this program.

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The program includes
individual and group counseling,

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art therapy, music therapy,

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sport activities,

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language courses,

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school and other integration efforts.

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What I observed was that
removing the victims

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from an area of conflict
to a country at peace

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had a positive impact on all of them.

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This project caught
the attention of other countries,

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and they were interested
to help more Yazidis.

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The Yazidi women and girls
still call and text me

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to tell me about their grades at school,

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fun trips they've taken,

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or to inform me about their future dreams,

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like writing a book about
what they have faced with ISIS.

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Sometimes they are sad

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and feel the need to talk again
about the events.

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I'm not a psychologist,

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and I have faced secondary PTSD
from their horrific stories.

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But I keep encouraging them to talk,

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and I keep listening,

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because I do not want them
to feel alone in their suffering.

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Through these anecdotes,

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I see a bigger picture emerging.

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These women and girls are healing.

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They are no longer afraid to seek justice.

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Without hope there can be no justice,

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and without justice there can be no hope.

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Every 3rd and 15th of August,
it's my remembrance day,

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and I reach out to the Yazidis to let them
know that I'm thinking about them.

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They're always happy when I do that.

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It's an emotional day for them.

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This past August, I spoke with Ayda.

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She was so happy to announce

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that one of her nieces
who was abducted with her

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was finally released
out of ISIS hands in Syria

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and returned to Iraq.

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Can you believe that?

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After four years?

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Today, her biggest wish
is for her whole family,

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now located across three continents,

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to be reunited.

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And I hope they will.

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When I think about
the survivors I work with,

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I remember the words
of an Egyptian doctor, writer

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and human rights activist,

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Nawal El Saadawi.

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In her book, "Woman at Point Zero,"

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she wrote, "Life is very hard,

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and the only people who really live

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are those who are harder
than life itself."

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These victims have been
through unimaginable pain.

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But with a little help,

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they show how resilient they are.

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Each has their own perspective
on what kind of justice she seeks,

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and I believe deeply

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that a credible justice process is key

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to how she reclaims her dignity

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and finds closure with her trauma.

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Justice is not only about
punishing the perpetrator.

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It's about victims feeling
that crimes committed against them

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have been recorded and recognized
by the rule of law.

NOTE Paragraph

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For me, it has been
the experience of a lifetime

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to work with these survivors.

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Because I share their sorrow,

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their language and their culture,

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we connect on the deepest human level.

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This itself is an act of healing:

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to be heard, to be seen,

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to be given compassion
instead of condemnation.

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When we get so close to people in pain,

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it creates pain
for the investigators, too.

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My work is challenging,
heartbreaking and trauma-inducing.

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But let me tell you why I do it.

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When I meet the survivors
of these mass atrocities,

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when I hold their hands
and look in their eyes,

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it does not erase my own pain,

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but it does make it almost worthwhile.

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And there's nothing
I would rather be doing.

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When I see these brave survivors

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struggling to connect again
to their own self-worth,

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to their families, to their place
in a society that values them,

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it is an honor to bear witness;

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it is a privilege to seek justice.

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And that is healing, too --

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for all of us.

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Thank you.

NOTE Paragraph

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(Applause)