0:00:05.456,0:00:07.506
>> I don't have an[br]MD or a law degree.

0:00:07.506,0:00:13.876
I have a bachelor's in[br]kicking butt and taking names.

0:00:13.876,0:00:15.516
>> What do you talk about?

0:00:15.626,0:00:17.006
>> I speak on behalf[br]of cigarettes.

0:00:17.006,0:00:19.536
>> My mommy says[br]cigarettes kill.

0:00:19.536,0:00:21.096
>> Now, is your mommy a doctor?

0:00:21.246,0:00:21.876
>> No.

0:00:21.876,0:00:22.926
>> Well, she doesn't[br]exactly sound

0:00:22.926,0:00:26.006
like a credible expert,[br]now, does she?

0:00:26.276,0:00:27.916
[music] We call ourselves[br]the mod squad --

0:00:28.176,0:00:30.416
M.O.D., merchants of death.

0:00:30.776,0:00:33.406
We're lobbyists for[br]the tobacco, alcohol,

0:00:33.406,0:00:34.966
and firearms industries.

0:00:35.086,0:00:36.536
How many alcohol-related[br]deaths a year?

0:00:36.666,0:00:37.036
>> Well, does that --

0:00:37.036,0:00:37.726
>> A hundred thousand?

0:00:37.726,0:00:38.006
>> That's what?

0:00:38.136,0:00:40.126
Two-hundred and seventy a day?

0:00:40.386,0:00:44.976
Tragedy. I front an organization[br]that kills 1200 people a day.

0:00:45.366,0:00:46.516
>> Dad, I want to[br]see what you do.

0:00:46.876,0:00:48.206
>> The message Hollywood[br]needs to send

0:00:48.206,0:00:49.446
out is "smoking is cool."

0:00:49.446,0:00:51.716
We can put the sex[br]back into cigarettes.

0:00:51.716,0:00:53.416
>> Get a flight to L.A.[br]I'll get you a meeting

0:00:53.416,0:00:54.506
with Hollywood super-agent[br]Jeff [inaudible].

0:00:54.506,0:00:56.736
>> Yeah, I'm going to[br]bring your dad in now.

0:00:56.736,0:00:58.676
Is there anything I could get[br]you, like an orange juice,

0:00:58.676,0:00:59.916
or a coffee, or a Red Bull?

0:01:00.386,0:01:00.786
>> No, thanks.

0:01:01.096,0:01:01.246
>> Okay.

0:01:01.246,0:01:04.346
>> Now what we need is a smoking[br]role model, a real winner.

0:01:04.346,0:01:05.746
>> Indiana Jones[br]meets Jerry McGuire.

0:01:06.056,0:01:07.006
>> Right, on two packs a day.

0:01:07.166,0:01:08.956
>> This spring, don't[br]hide the truth.

0:01:09.056,0:01:11.156
>> We don't sell Tic-Tacs;[br]we sell cigarettes.

0:01:11.156,0:01:13.556
And they're cool,[br]available, and addictive.

0:01:13.646,0:01:15.306
The job is almost done for us.

0:01:15.306,0:01:16.126
>> Just filter it.

0:01:16.126,0:01:18.226
>> The number-one killer[br]in America is cholesterol,

0:01:18.266,0:01:19.926
and here comes Senator[br]Finister [assumed spelling],

0:01:19.966,0:01:21.576
who's clogging the[br]nation's arteries

0:01:21.646,0:01:22.826
with Vermont cheddar cheese.

0:01:23.146,0:01:23.226
>> Ohhhhh.

0:01:23.226,0:01:25.466
>> The great state of[br]Vermont will not apologize

0:01:25.546,0:01:26.246
for its cheese.

0:01:26.456,0:01:30.496
>> What happens when[br]you're wrong?

0:01:30.496,0:01:30.563
>> See, Joey, that's[br]the beauty of argument:

0:01:30.563,0:01:32.996
is if you argue correctly,[br]you're never wrong.

0:01:32.996,0:01:34.676
>> This is a heated issue.

0:01:34.936,0:01:37.166
Nick, do you have a question?

0:01:37.416,0:01:41.106
>> How on earth would Big[br]Tobacco profit off the loss

0:01:41.106,0:01:42.016
of this young man?

0:01:42.886,0:01:46.586
It's in our best interest to[br]keep Robin alive and smoking.

0:01:46.586,0:01:48.006
>> [inaudible]

0:01:48.006,0:01:48.876
>> Heather Holloway.

0:01:49.006,0:01:53.266
My other interviews have[br]pinned you as a mass murderer,

0:01:53.416,0:01:55.966
bloodsucker, pimp, profiteer,[br]and my personal favorite:

0:01:56.016,0:01:57.036
yuppie Mephistopheles.

0:01:58.826,0:01:59.686
>> I'm a man of the people.

0:01:59.826,0:02:00.606
>> Rock on, Kennedy.

0:02:00.606,0:02:01.726
>> You're family now.

0:02:01.816,0:02:03.056
Tobacco takes care of its own.

0:02:03.686,0:02:04.796
>> Michael Jordan lays ball.

0:02:04.966,0:02:06.226
Charles Manson kills people.

0:02:06.716,0:02:07.106
I talk.

0:02:07.726,0:02:09.526
>> Thank you for smoking.

0:02:10.166,0:02:12.686
>> Sony has a futuristic sci-fi[br]movie they're looking to make.

0:02:12.686,0:02:13.476
>> Cigarettes in space.

0:02:13.476,0:02:14.956
>> It's the final[br]frontier, Nick.

0:02:15.166,0:02:18.066
>> But wouldn't they blow up[br]in an all-oxygen environment?

0:02:18.066,0:02:18.746
>> Probably.

0:02:18.966,0:02:20.586
But it's an easy fix.

0:02:20.586,0:02:23.176
One line of dialogue: Thank[br]God we invented the --

0:02:23.176,0:02:23.976
you know -- whatever-device.

0:02:24.516,0:02:28.500
[ MUSIC ]