WEBVTT

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- Hey guys, listen up.

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Michael is up on the roof
and acting strange.

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- Whoa.
What's the situation?

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- Unshun. I think he's suffering from
depression. Reshun.

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- Okay, when's the shunning
thing gonna end?

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- Unshun. Never. Reshun.

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I think he wants you all to come out
to the parking lot and watch him die.

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- Is it nice outside?

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- It's gorgeous. Let's go.

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- Do I need my jacket?

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- No, really it's very nice.
Come on.

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- Will I be too warm
in a long-sleeved tee.

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- Everyone's gonna be fine
in exactly what they're wearing.

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Let's go.

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Let's go.

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Come on hurry up
you guys.

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- My life.
Oh my life.

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- Michael what's wrong?

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- Everything's wrong.

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The stress of my modern office has
caused me to go into a depression.

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(speaking through a megaphone)

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- Depression? Isn't that just a fancy word
for feeling bummed out?

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- Dwight, you ignorant slut.

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Depression is a very serious illness.

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Over 32 thousand people commit suicide
every year.

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According to a 2004 study.

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- Is that the last year
that data was available?

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- Yes. My head is in such
pain and turmoil.

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- Don't do anything rash.

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- Dwight where are the warehouse 
guys?

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- I didn't...

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I did't think you needed them
for this part.

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- Okay. That's --

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- You said to just --

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- That's the whole point, dummy.

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- Okay, I'm on it.

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- Okay.

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- Attention blue collar workers.

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- What are the odds that this is in
any way real?

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- I'd say like, ten thousand to one.

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- Okay, I'd like ten bucks on those odds.

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If someone gives you ten thousand to one
on anything, you take it.

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If John Mellencamp ever wins an oscar
I am going to be a very rich dude.

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- Michael is up on the roof and he's 
acting strange.

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- Oh my life.

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- Michael what's wrong?

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- Everything is wrong, Dwight.


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The stress of my modern office has made
me depressed.

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- Depressed? Isn't that just a fancy
word for feeling bummed out.

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- Dwight, you ignorant slut.

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- Well, you know, the first performance
was a little off.

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But I really think they hit they're 
stride in the second show.

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I might even bring my parents 
tomorrow to the matinée.

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[Michael] And that is why I am going
to jump off this roof.

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- Excuse me, it's my favorite part.

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(music)