- Hey guys, listen up.
Michael is up on the roof and acting strange.
- Whoa. What's the situation?
- Unshun. I think he's suffering from depression. Reshun.
- Okay, when's the shunning thing gonna end?
- Unshun. Never. Reshun.
I think he wants you all to come out to the parking lot and watch him die.
- Is it nice outside?
- It's gorgeous. Let's go.
- Do I need my jacket?
- No, really it's very nice. Come on.
- Will I be too warm in a long-sleeved tee.
- Everyone's gonna be fine in exactly what they're wearing.
Let's go.
Come on hurry up you guys.
- My life. Oh my life.
- Michael what's wrong?
- Everything's wrong.
The stress of my modern office has caused me to go into a depression.
(speaking through a megaphone)
- Depression? Isn't that just a fancy word for feeling bummed out?
- Dwight, you ignorant slut.
Depression is a very serious illness.
Over 32 thousand people commit suicide every year.
According to a 2004 study.
- Is that the last year that data was available?
- Yes. My head is in such pain and turmoil.
- Don't do anything rash.
- Dwight where are the warehouse guys?
- I didn't...
I did't think you needed them for this part.
- Okay. That's --
- You said to just --
- That's the whole point, dummy.
- Okay, I'm on it.
- Okay.
- Attention blue collar workers.
- What are the odds that this is in any way real?
- I'd say like, ten thousand to one.
- Okay, I'd like ten bucks on those odds.
If someone gives you ten thousand to one on anything, you take it.
If John Mellencamp ever wins an oscar I am going to be a very rich dude.
- Michael is up on the roof and he's acting strange.
- Oh my life.
- Michael what's wrong?
- Everything is wrong, Dwight.
The stress of my modern office has made me depressed.
- Depressed? Isn't that just a fancy word for feeling bummed out.
- Dwight, you ignorant slut.
- Well, you know, the first performance was a little off.
But I really think they hit they're stride in the second show.
I might even bring my parents tomorrow to the matinée.
[Michael] And that is why I am going to jump off this roof.
- Excuse me, it's my favorite part.
(music)