- Hey guys, listen up.

Michael is up on the roof
and acting strange.

- Whoa.
What's the situation?

- Unshun. I think he's suffering from
depression. Reshun.

- Okay, when's the shunning
thing gonna end?

- Unshun. Never. Reshun.

I think he wants you all to come out
to the parking lot and watch him die.

- Is it nice outside?

- It's gorgeous. Let's go.

- Do I need my jacket?

- No, really it's very nice.
Come on.

- Will I be too warm
in a long-sleeved tee.

- Everyone's gonna be fine
in exactly what they're wearing.

Let's go.

Let's go.

Come on hurry up
you guys.

- My life.
Oh my life.

- Michael what's wrong?

- Everything's wrong.

The stress of my modern office has
caused me to go into a depression.

(speaking through a megaphone)

- Depression? Isn't that just a fancy word
for feeling bummed out?

- Dwight, you ignorant slut.

Depression is a very serious illness.

Over 32 thousand people commit suicide
every year.

According to a 2004 study.

- Is that the last year
that data was available?

- Yes. My head is in such
pain and turmoil.

- Don't do anything rash.

- Dwight where are the warehouse 
guys?

- I didn't...

I did't think you needed them
for this part.

- Okay. That's --

- You said to just --

- That's the whole point, dummy.

- Okay, I'm on it.

- Okay.

- Attention blue collar workers.

- What are the odds that this is in
any way real?

- I'd say like, ten thousand to one.

- Okay, I'd like ten bucks on those odds.

If someone gives you ten thousand to one
on anything, you take it.

If John Mellencamp ever wins an oscar
I am going to be a very rich dude.

- Michael is up on the roof and he's 
acting strange.

- Oh my life.

- Michael what's wrong?

- Everything is wrong, Dwight.

The stress of my modern office has made
me depressed.

- Depressed? Isn't that just a fancy
word for feeling bummed out.

- Dwight, you ignorant slut.

- Well, you know, the first performance
was a little off.

But I really think they hit they're 
stride in the second show.

I might even bring my parents 
tomorrow to the matinée.

[Michael] And that is why I am going
to jump off this roof.

- Excuse me, it's my favorite part.

(music)