WEBVTT

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Hello, my name is Castelline Tilus and I am from Haiti.

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I'm trying to tell the story of my life.

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to tell you how I arrived here in California

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where study and I live.

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I was raised in Haiti, in a small village in the countryside

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which is called Jean-Rabel

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it is located near the sea.

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My parents used to work as teachers in Lycee de Jean-Rabel

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Maybe they tought that there were more opportunities overseas

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or there is better education overseas

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That is why they decided to send me to live with my aunt

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in Florida when I was very young.

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I remember the day

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My father told me, "Cassou, go make you suitcase.

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Let's go to visit our family in the United States."

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I thought we would only travel for 2 weeks

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I said, "OK, daddy, I agree."

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I made my suitcase. I was so happy. I put all my stuff in there

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I said, "Daddy, let's go, let's go."

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I remember that day. We board the plane,

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we landed to Miami. I had a very good time

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After 2 weeks my dad said he is leaving

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I did not really understand what he meant to say

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He closed the door, he left me inside, he left

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He got into a taxi....and I have not seen him for another 10 years

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That means he left me in Miami with my family

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But him, he went back to Haiti.

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In his thought, I would have a better chance to advance in life

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if I stayed in the US.

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And, that was a little bit difficult for me

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because I spent 10 years without seeing my parents,

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without seeing my family in Haiti.

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That means I almost forget to speak Haitian Creole completely

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Because in School, they speak mostly English.

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After some years

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I couldn't really communicate with my parents, I did not speak Creole, they did not speak English

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I remember the first time I visited Haiti after I came here

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I was 17 years old

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Everybody looks at me like I am a stranger

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When I try to speak Creole, I had an American accent

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They called me "Diaspora", "White girl",

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"Stranger"... like I was not a true Haitian.

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That was the first time I had this problem because

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throughout all my life I thought I was Haitian

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Everyday when I wake up I eat rice mixed with beans, fried plantain (Typical Haitian food)

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like I am Haitian in my blood.

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But when I went to the country the people didn't accept me as a true Haitian.

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That is why when I come back

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in the US after that first trip

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I decided to apply myself to try to learn Haitian Creole.

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I started to read the Bible,

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I listen to Haitian radio,

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one is Radio Lumière which is popular in Miami

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What did I do more? ...

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... Anything I could do to learn to speak Haitian Creole

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That means now, I can speak better

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But writing and reading Creole is a little bit hard for me

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And when I went to College

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In 2009, I started to learn French

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And that makes things harder for me

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because now, I cannot separate French from Creole

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in my mind.

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When I try to speak Creole - it is a Frenchified Creole

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When I try to Speak French, sometimes I find it hard to make the sentences

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(laugh) This is so frustrating

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but I cannot change it

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That just the way it is

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That means I feel more comfortable in English

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That's the language I speak better.

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But in the future I would like to master both Haitian Creole and French

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Because I want to go back to Haiti to help my people,

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to help my country.