Hello, my name is Castelline Tilus and I am from Haiti.

I'm trying to tell the story of my life.

to tell you how I arrived here in California

where study and I live.

I was raised in Haiti, in a small village in the countryside

which is called Jean-Rabel

it is located near the sea.

My parents used to work as teachers in Lycee de Jean-Rabel

Maybe they tought that there were more opportunities overseas

or there is better education overseas

That is why they decided to send me to live with my aunt

in Florida when I was very young.

I remember the day

My father told me, "Cassou, go make you suitcase.

Let's go to visit our family in the United States."

I thought we would only travel for 2 weeks

I said, "OK, daddy, I agree."

I made my suitcase. I was so happy. I put all my stuff in there

I said, "Daddy, let's go, let's go."

I remember that day. We board the plane,

we landed to Miami. I had a very good time

After 2 weeks my dad said he is leaving

I did not really understand what he meant to say

He closed the door, he left me inside, he left

He got into a taxi....and I have not seen him for another 10 years

That means he left me in Miami with my family

But him, he went back to Haiti.

In his thought, I would have a better chance to advance in life

if I stayed in the US.

And, that was a little bit difficult for me

because I spent 10 years without seeing my parents,

without seeing my family in Haiti.

That means I almost forget to speak Haitian Creole completely

Because in School, they speak mostly English.

After some years

I couldn't really communicate with my parents, I did not speak Creole, they did not speak English

I remember the first time I visited Haiti after I came here

I was 17 years old

Everybody looks at me like I am a stranger

When I try to speak Creole, I had an American accent

They called me "Diaspora", "White girl",

"Stranger"... like I was not a true Haitian.

That was the first time I had this problem because

throughout all my life I thought I was Haitian

Everyday when I wake up I eat rice mixed with beans, fried plantain (Typical Haitian food)

like I am Haitian in my blood.

But when I went to the country the people didn't accept me as a true Haitian.

That is why when I come back

in the US after that first trip

I decided to apply myself to try to learn Haitian Creole.

I started to read the Bible,

I listen to Haitian radio,

one is Radio Lumière which is popular in Miami

What did I do more? ...

... Anything I could do to learn to speak Haitian Creole

That means now, I can speak better

But writing and reading Creole is a little bit hard for me

And when I went to College

In 2009, I started to learn French

And that makes things harder for me

because now, I cannot separate French from Creole

in my mind.

When I try to speak Creole - it is a Frenchified Creole

When I try to Speak French, sometimes I find it hard to make the sentences

(laugh) This is so frustrating

but I cannot change it

That just the way it is

That means I feel more comfortable in English

That's the language I speak better.

But in the future I would like to master both Haitian Creole and French

Because I want to go back to Haiti to help my people,

to help my country.