Hello, my name is Castelline Tilus and I am from Haiti.
I'm trying to tell the story of my life.
to tell you how I arrived here in California
where study and I live.
I was raised in Haiti, in a small village in the countryside
which is called Jean-Rabel
it is located near the sea.
My parents used to work as teachers in Lycee de Jean-Rabel
Maybe they tought that there were more opportunities overseas
or there is better education overseas
That is why they decided to send me to live with my aunt
in Florida when I was very young.
I remember the day
My father told me, "Cassou, go make you suitcase.
Let's go to visit our family in the United States."
I thought we would only travel for 2 weeks
I said, "OK, daddy, I agree."
I made my suitcase. I was so happy. I put all my stuff in there
I said, "Daddy, let's go, let's go."
I remember that day. We board the plane,
we landed to Miami. I had a very good time
After 2 weeks my dad said he is leaving
I did not really understand what he meant to say
He closed the door, he left me inside, he left
He got into a taxi....and I have not seen him for another 10 years
That means he left me in Miami with my family
But him, he went back to Haiti.
In his thought, I would have a better chance to advance in life
if I stayed in the US.
And, that was a little bit difficult for me
because I spent 10 years without seeing my parents,
without seeing my family in Haiti.
That means I almost forget to speak Haitian Creole completely
Because in School, they speak mostly English.
After some years
I couldn't really communicate with my parents, I did not speak Creole, they did not speak English
I remember the first time I visited Haiti after I came here
I was 17 years old
Everybody looks at me like I am a stranger
When I try to speak Creole, I had an American accent
They called me "Diaspora", "White girl",
"Stranger"... like I was not a true Haitian.
That was the first time I had this problem because
throughout all my life I thought I was Haitian
Everyday when I wake up I eat rice mixed with beans, fried plantain (Typical Haitian food)
like I am Haitian in my blood.
But when I went to the country the people didn't accept me as a true Haitian.
That is why when I come back
in the US after that first trip
I decided to apply myself to try to learn Haitian Creole.
I started to read the Bible,
I listen to Haitian radio,
one is Radio Lumière which is popular in Miami
What did I do more? ...
... Anything I could do to learn to speak Haitian Creole
That means now, I can speak better
But writing and reading Creole is a little bit hard for me
And when I went to College
In 2009, I started to learn French
And that makes things harder for me
because now, I cannot separate French from Creole
in my mind.
When I try to speak Creole - it is a Frenchified Creole
When I try to Speak French, sometimes I find it hard to make the sentences
(laugh) This is so frustrating
but I cannot change it
That just the way it is
That means I feel more comfortable in English
That's the language I speak better.
But in the future I would like to master both Haitian Creole and French
Because I want to go back to Haiti to help my people,
to help my country.