WEBVTT

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Excuse me where is the Haute Couture range

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Ah the vintage clothing store

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to peruse the rails of yesteryear's glad rags

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I'm not shopping here

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I'm just

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popping in on the way to the opera

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Oh

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How wonderfully ironic

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How tastefully gauche

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How deliciously coy

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so what brings you here to this hall of

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forlorn toggery

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The shop?

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Yes indeed

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Oh I'm just looking for something to wear to a party

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this weekend

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Ah what's the theme?

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French Revolution?

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Oscar Wilde?

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Wiemar Republic?

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I don't normally buy off the peg

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but since I'm here

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it's worth a look isn't?

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Yeah why not

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Mmmm no

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No no no

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not with your complexion

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Ah the uniform of the village tough

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be donned in the epidermis

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of our beloved herd animal

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brings out your eyes

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Uh what do you think of this?

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Oh

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yeah it looks good on you

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Oh no no no not for me

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no I wouldn't be caught dead in it

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for you

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Yes it really

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really brings out your tired skin

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Excuse me

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of course I could buy these on the high street but

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I'm here so

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why not

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This here

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Oh

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I don't really like that

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Well this is Stella McCartney

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Yeah yeah I just wouldn't really wear something like that so

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Well it's my treat

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Well I mean if you're paying

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Oh no no no the advice

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is the treat

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So when is the soiree?

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Um

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Saturday

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Ah well you are in luck

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I've just had a cancellation this Saturday

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Madam Butterfly has been postponed

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Okay

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So if you're looking for someone to

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talk your guests through the wine pairings

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No thanks

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I'm available

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No thank you

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Excuse me

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Could I use the lavatory?

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It's for staff only

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Yes well I'm on my way to the opera

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and I could really do with a shower

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Yeah I'll go with these here thanks

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Ah excellent choice

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for the soiree?

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Yes it's a fancy dress so

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I'm going as a prick

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Doomdah

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We're also going on tour

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Where are we going lads

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Doomdah