Excuse me where is the Haute Couture range
Ah the vintage clothing store
to peruse the rails of yesteryear's glad rags
I'm not shopping here
I'm just
popping in on the way to the opera
Oh
How wonderfully ironic
How tastefully gauche
How deliciously coy
so what brings you here to this hall of
forlorn toggery
The shop?
Yes indeed
Oh I'm just looking for something to wear to a party
this weekend
Ah what's the theme?
French Revolution?
Oscar Wilde?
Wiemar Republic?
I don't normally buy off the peg
but since I'm here
it's worth a look isn't?
Yeah why not
Mmmm no
No no no
not with your complexion
Ah the uniform of the village tough
be donned in the epidermis
of our beloved herd animal
brings out your eyes
Uh what do you think of this?
Oh
yeah it looks good on you
Oh no no no not for me
no I wouldn't be caught dead in it
for you
Yes it really
really brings out your tired skin
Excuse me
of course I could buy these on the high street but
I'm here so
why not
This here
Oh
I don't really like that
Well this is Stella McCartney
Yeah yeah I just wouldn't really wear something like that so
Well it's my treat
Well I mean if you're paying
Oh no no no the advice
is the treat
So when is the soiree?
Um
Saturday
Ah well you are in luck
I've just had a cancellation this Saturday
Madam Butterfly has been postponed
Okay
So if you're looking for someone to
talk your guests through the wine pairings
No thanks
I'm available
No thank you
Excuse me
Could I use the lavatory?
It's for staff only
Yes well I'm on my way to the opera
and I could really do with a shower
Yeah I'll go with these here thanks
Ah excellent choice
for the soiree?
Yes it's a fancy dress so
I'm going as a prick
Doomdah
We're also going on tour
Where are we going lads
Doomdah