(crowd clapping)
♫ piano introduction ♫
Hey, uh, Kate Monster, you're a monster right?
Yeah!
And you know Trekkie Monster my neighbour, he's a monster.
Right.
So, are you two like, related?
What?! Princeton! I find that racist!
Oh! Oh! I'm sorry! I was just asking!
Well! It's a touchy subject! No! Not all monsters are related!
Oh.
You know you should be much more careful when you're talking about the sensitive subject of race!
Yeah... well.. Well, look who's talking!
What do you mean?
Well, you're the one who's always complaining because your students are always cursing!
Yeah, well they get that from rap.
Ha ha ha ha!
♫ You're a little bit racist ♫
♫ Well you're a little bit too! ♫
♫ I guess we're both a little bit racist ♫
♫ Admitting it is not an easy thing to do... ♫
♫ But I guess it's true ♫
♫ Between me and you, I think ♫
♫ Everyone's a little bit racist, sometimes Doesn't mean we go around committing hate crimes ♫
♫ Look around and you will find No one's really color blind ♫
♫ Maybe it's a fact We all should face ♫
♫ Everyone makes judgements Based on race ♫
Now not big judgments, like who to hire or who to buy a newspaper from
Nooo...
No, just little judgments, like thinking that Mexican busboys should learn to speak freaking English!
Right!
Everyone's a little bit racist, today. So, everyone's a little bit racist, okay!
Ethinic jokes might be uncouth, But you laugh because they're based on truth.
Don't take them as personal attacks. Everyone enjoys them - so relax!
All right, stop me if you've heard this one.
Okay!
There's a plane going down and there's only one parachute. And there's a rabbi, a priest...
And a black guy!
Whatchoo talkin' 'bout Kate?
Ooh...
You were telling a black joke!
Well, sure, Gary, but lots of people tell black jokes.
I don't.
Well, of course you don't, you're black! But I bet you tell Polish jokes, right?
Well, sure I do. Those stupid Polish people! Ha ha ha ha!
Hey guys! What are you laughing about?
Racism!
Cool!
BRIAN! Come back here!
You take out lecycuraburs!
What's that mean?
Um, recyclables.
Ha ha ha ha!
Hey, don't laugh at her! How many languages do you speak?
Oh, come off it, Brian!
♫ Everyone's a little bit racist ♫
I'm not!
Oh no?
Nope!
♫ How many Oriental wives have you got? ♫
What? Brian!
♫ Brian, buddy, where you been? The term is Asian-American! ♫
I'm sorry honey! I love you!
And I love you!
But you're racist too.
Yes! I know.
♫ The Jews have all the money And the whites have all the power ♫
♫ And I'm always in taxi-cab With driver who no shower! ♫
Me too!
I can't even get a taxi!
♫ Everyone's a little bit racist, it's true. But everyone is just about as racist as you! ♫
♫ If we all could just admit That we are racist, a little bit ♫
♫ And everyone stopped being so PC Maybe we could live in - harmony! ♫
Evlyone's a ritter bit lacist!
(crowd cheering)