0:00:00.000,0:00:04.599
(crowd clapping)

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♫ piano introduction ♫

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Hey, uh, Kate Monster, you're a monster right?

0:00:10.576,0:00:11.146
Yeah!

0:00:11.146,0:00:13.536
And you know Trekkie Monster my neighbour, [br]he's a monster.

0:00:13.536,0:00:14.026
Right.

0:00:14.026,0:00:15.926
So, are you two like, related?

0:00:15.937,0:00:19.747
What?! Princeton! I find that racist!

0:00:19.747,0:00:21.967
Oh! Oh! I'm sorry! I was just asking!

0:00:21.967,0:00:26.397
Well! It's a touchy subject! No! [br]Not all monsters are related!

0:00:26.397,0:00:26.887
Oh.

0:00:26.887,0:00:31.437
You know you should be much more careful when [br]you're talking about the sensitive subject of race!

0:00:31.437,0:00:33.967
Yeah... well.. Well, look who's talking!

0:00:33.967,0:00:34.967
What do you mean?

0:00:34.967,0:00:38.047
Well, you're the one who's always complaining [br]because your students are always cursing!

0:00:38.047,0:00:40.107
Yeah, well they get that from rap.

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Ha ha ha ha!

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♫ You're a little bit racist ♫

0:00:44.004,0:00:46.644
♫ Well you're a little bit too! ♫

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♫ I guess we're both a little bit racist ♫

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♫ Admitting it is not an easy thing to do... ♫

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♫ But I guess it's true ♫

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♫ Between me and you, I think ♫

0:00:54.609,0:01:05.039
♫ Everyone's a little bit racist, sometimes[br]Doesn't mean we go around committing hate crimes ♫

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♫ Look around and you will find[br]No one's really color blind ♫

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♫ Maybe it's a fact[br]We all should face ♫

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♫ Everyone makes judgements[br]Based on race ♫

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Now not big judgments, like who to hire [br]or who to buy a newspaper from

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Nooo...

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No, just little judgments, like thinking that Mexican [br]busboys should learn to speak freaking English!

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Right!

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Everyone's a little bit racist, today.[br]So, everyone's a little bit racist, okay![br]

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Ethinic jokes might be uncouth,[br]But you laugh because they're based on truth.

0:01:45.281,0:01:54.921
Don't take them as personal attacks.[br]Everyone enjoys them - so relax!

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All right, stop me if you've heard this one.

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Okay!

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There's a plane going down and there's only [br]one parachute. And there's a rabbi, a priest...

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And a black guy!

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Whatchoo talkin' 'bout Kate?

0:02:04.141,0:02:04.981
Ooh...

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You were telling a black joke!

0:02:06.961,0:02:09.417
Well, sure, Gary, but lots of people tell black jokes.

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I don't.

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Well, of course you don't, you're black! [br]But I bet you tell Polish jokes, right?

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Well, sure I do. Those stupid Polish people! [br]Ha ha ha ha!

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Hey guys! What are you laughing about?

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Racism!

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Cool!

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BRIAN! Come back here! [br]

0:02:23.477,0:02:25.357
You take out lecycuraburs!

0:02:25.357,0:02:26.687
What's that mean?

0:02:26.687,0:02:27.703
Um, recyclables. [br]

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Ha ha ha ha!

0:02:28.470,0:02:31.726
Hey, don't laugh at her! [br]How many languages do you speak?

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Oh, come off it, Brian![br]

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♫ Everyone's a little bit racist ♫

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I'm not!

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Oh no?

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Nope!

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♫ How many Oriental wives have you got? ♫

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What? Brian!

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♫ Brian, buddy, where you been?[br]The term is Asian-American! ♫

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I'm sorry honey! I love you!

0:02:51.627,0:02:52.607
And I love you!

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But you're racist too.

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Yes! I know.

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♫ The Jews have all the money[br]And the whites have all the power ♫

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♫ And I'm always in taxi-cab[br]With driver who no shower! ♫

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Me too!

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Me too!

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I can't even get a taxi!

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♫ Everyone's a little bit racist, it's true.[br]But everyone is just about as racist as you! ♫

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♫ If we all could just admit[br]That we are racist, a little bit ♫

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♫ And everyone stopped being so PC[br]Maybe we could live in - harmony! ♫

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Evlyone's a ritter bit lacist!

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(crowd cheering)