[Script Info]
Title: 
[Events]
Format: Layer, Start, End, Style, Name, MarginL, MarginR, MarginV, Effect, Text
Dialogue: 0,0:00:14.40,0:00:18.89,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,These days I work\Nas a sex researcher and educator.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:18.89,0:00:21.68,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But when I first accepted a job, in 1999,
Dialogue: 0,0:00:21.68,0:00:26.38,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,at the Kinsey Institute for Research\Nin Sex, Gender, and Reproduction,
Dialogue: 0,0:00:26.38,0:00:32.33,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I was really nervous to tell my family\Nthat I would be working in sex research.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:32.33,0:00:36.98,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I was particularly nervous\Nto tell my grandmother.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:36.98,0:00:42.44,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,My grandparents lived around the corner\Nfrom my family and I growing up,
Dialogue: 0,0:00:42.44,0:00:44.12,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and I was really close with them.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:44.12,0:00:47.32,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And they were loving\Nand kind, and generous people,
Dialogue: 0,0:00:47.32,0:00:51.17,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and also very Catholic,\Nand very traditional,
Dialogue: 0,0:00:51.17,0:00:53.69,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and people who didn't talk about sex.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:53.69,0:00:56.24,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But when I went to Boston\Nto visit my grandmother,
Dialogue: 0,0:00:56.24,0:00:59.24,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and I told her about the job\Nthat I was taking,
Dialogue: 0,0:00:59.24,0:01:02.35,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,she surprised me by saying\Nthat she was proud of me
Dialogue: 0,0:01:02.35,0:01:05.60,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and that she thought\Nit was really important work to be doing.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:05.60,0:01:08.40,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,This was not the grandmother that I knew.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:08.40,0:01:12.20,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But then she told me a story\Nthat helped me to understand.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:12.20,0:01:15.69,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,This is my grandmother\Nand my mom as a young girl.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:15.69,0:01:16.91,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,My grammy told me
Dialogue: 0,0:01:16.91,0:01:20.66,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that she and my grandfather had tried\Nfor years to become pregnant,
Dialogue: 0,0:01:20.66,0:01:23.65,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and when they finally did it\Nwas a dream come true for them.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:23.65,0:01:26.12,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Until she went into labor.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:26.12,0:01:30.87,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It was only in the midst of labor\Nthat she learned for the first time
Dialogue: 0,0:01:30.87,0:01:34.89,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that her baby would be delivered\Nnot through her stomach,
Dialogue: 0,0:01:34.89,0:01:39.36,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,which is how she thought babies\Nleft the body, but through her vagina.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:39.36,0:01:42.64,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Although she didn't use the word vagina\Nwhen she told me this story.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:42.64,0:01:47.52,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So this was an awful\Nand frightening birth experience,
Dialogue: 0,0:01:47.52,0:01:49.40,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that really should have been wonderful,
Dialogue: 0,0:01:49.40,0:01:52.26,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and something that they had\Nlooked forward to for years.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:52.26,0:01:56.11,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,In case you're wondering how it could\Nget to that point, because I was :
Dialogue: 0,0:01:56.11,0:02:01.23,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,her mom had died when she was a teenager,\Nshe wasn't around to tell her about birth.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:01.23,0:02:05.20,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I have no idea why her doctor\Ndidn't give her that information.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:05.20,0:02:08.52,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Except maybe this was, you know,\NI mean, it was before Kinsey's time,
Dialogue: 0,0:02:08.52,0:02:12.23,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that was before the sexual revolution,\Nthese things weren't talked about...
Dialogue: 0,0:02:12.23,0:02:16.71,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But as a result, she thought that Kinsey's\Npioneering work in sex and reproduction
Dialogue: 0,0:02:16.71,0:02:19.48,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,was so valuable.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:19.48,0:02:22.43,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,That's why she thought it was great\Nthat I was working there.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:22.43,0:02:24.97,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Now she tried to do better\Nwith her daughter, my mom,
Dialogue: 0,0:02:24.97,0:02:28.25,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,by giving her more information\Nabout pregnancy and childbirth.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:28.25,0:02:31.85,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But still, they were uncomfortable\Ntalking about sex and bodies.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:31.85,0:02:34.13,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,That was the home my mom was raised in,
Dialogue: 0,0:02:34.13,0:02:37.30,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,so that's still how my mom felt\Nabout those things.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:37.30,0:02:40.09,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And when it came time for me\Nto be in fifth grade,
Dialogue: 0,0:02:40.09,0:02:42.38,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and my class was shown\Na video about puberty,
Dialogue: 0,0:02:42.38,0:02:45.13,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that I'm sure many of you have seen too,
Dialogue: 0,0:02:45.13,0:02:48.09,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,she asked me in the car\Non the way to dance class
Dialogue: 0,0:02:48.09,0:02:50.27,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"Did they show you the video in school?"
Dialogue: 0,0:02:50.27,0:02:51.48,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And I said "Yes."
Dialogue: 0,0:02:51.48,0:02:53.73,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And she said "Do you have any questions?"
Dialogue: 0,0:02:53.73,0:02:55.46,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And I said "No."
Dialogue: 0,0:02:55.46,0:02:58.65,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And that was our only conversation.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:58.65,0:03:02.67,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Now, two years later,\NI got my period for the first time.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:02.67,0:03:06.56,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I was with my grandparents,\NI didn't want to tell them,
Dialogue: 0,0:03:06.56,0:03:09.70,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So I had to call my mom\Nbecause I needed help.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:09.70,0:03:11.66,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,When she came home from work,
Dialogue: 0,0:03:11.66,0:03:15.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,she came back with a brown,\Npaper grocery store bag
Dialogue: 0,0:03:15.00,0:03:19.46,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and handed it to me, and said\N"Here, I have the things you need."
Dialogue: 0,0:03:19.46,0:03:22.55,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And inside the bag were pads.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:22.55,0:03:26.93,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The whole experience was so embarrassing\Nand painful for me,
Dialogue: 0,0:03:26.93,0:03:30.74,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that months later, when I ran out,\NI needed more.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:30.74,0:03:33.88,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I just was not going to approach\Nthat conversation with her again,
Dialogue: 0,0:03:33.88,0:03:37.72,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,but I didn't know where to get any,\Nand I wanted to try tampons anyway,
Dialogue: 0,0:03:37.72,0:03:41.41,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,'cause I swam all the time,\Nand I didn't want to talk to her about it.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:41.41,0:03:43.49,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So I figured, well, I have a bike...
Dialogue: 0,0:03:43.49,0:03:46.19,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Now, I wasn't allowed\Nto leave the neighborhood,
Dialogue: 0,0:03:46.19,0:03:48.92,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I mean, we lived in the suburbs,\Nfar away from any stores.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:48.92,0:03:52.18,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I only was supposed to be driving,\Nlike a block or two on my bike
Dialogue: 0,0:03:52.18,0:03:53.39,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,to my friends' houses.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:53.39,0:03:54.77,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,We were point A at my house,
Dialogue: 0,0:03:54.77,0:03:58.76,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,the farthest I'd ever ridden\Non my bike alone was point B,
Dialogue: 0,0:03:58.76,0:04:00.97,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,one mile away to a friends' house.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:00.97,0:04:02.95,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But I thought about it for a while,
Dialogue: 0,0:04:02.95,0:04:05.84,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and I figured out\Nthat there was this store in South Miami,
Dialogue: 0,0:04:05.84,0:04:08.72,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that's where the tampons were!
Dialogue: 0,0:04:08.72,0:04:10.03,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Laughter)
Dialogue: 0,0:04:10.03,0:04:14.82,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So one day when I got enough nerve,\Nand figured no one was gonna miss me
Dialogue: 0,0:04:14.82,0:04:16.81,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,for a little while, I got on my bike
Dialogue: 0,0:04:16.81,0:04:22.14,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and I pedaled what ended up being \Nfive miles following this route.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:22.14,0:04:25.59,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It's fairly straight, but it actually\Ncrosses a lot of busy streets.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:25.59,0:04:27.76,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And I was really worried\Nabout getting caught,
Dialogue: 0,0:04:27.76,0:04:28.90,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,but I got the tampons,
Dialogue: 0,0:04:28.90,0:04:32.68,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,put the plastic bag on my handlebars,\Nand rode back the five miles,
Dialogue: 0,0:04:32.68,0:04:35.70,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and never told anyone ever.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:35.70,0:04:38.13,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,My mom will find out\Nwhen she hears this talk.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:38.12,0:04:39.45,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Laughter)
Dialogue: 0,0:04:40.88,0:04:44.83,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Now a culture in which 13-year-old girls
Dialogue: 0,0:04:44.83,0:04:47.44,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,end up riding their bikes\Ndisobeying their parents,
Dialogue: 0,0:04:47.44,0:04:48.84,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,which I hardly every did,
Dialogue: 0,0:04:48.84,0:04:52.20,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,you know, all because this is\Nso uncomfortable for them,
Dialogue: 0,0:04:52.20,0:04:56.31,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,it's not the only bad outcome\Nof a society that doesn't talk about sex.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:56.31,0:05:03.02,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,When sex is treated as abnormal,\Ndoctors and patients don't talk about sex.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:03.02,0:05:06.98,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It's not unusual for cancer patients\Nin my line of work
Dialogue: 0,0:05:06.98,0:05:10.73,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,to tell me that they've had 50 or 100\Nor more medical appointments,
Dialogue: 0,0:05:10.73,0:05:13.05,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,including for pelvic radiation,
Dialogue: 0,0:05:13.05,0:05:15.51,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and never once had a health care provider
Dialogue: 0,0:05:15.51,0:05:18.51,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,mention the serious\Nsexual side effects to them.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:18.51,0:05:20.65,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,When sex is treated as abnormal,
Dialogue: 0,0:05:20.65,0:05:23.28,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,we don't talk about it\Nor teach about it in schools.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:23.28,0:05:26.35,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And when the CDC maps \Nsexually transmissible infections,
Dialogue: 0,0:05:26.35,0:05:29.40,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,it's perhaps not surprising, \Nthat they tend to cluster
Dialogue: 0,0:05:29.40,0:05:33.37,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,in areas of the country\Nknown for lack of sex education.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:33.37,0:05:37.31,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Notice the dark areas\Nfor chlamydia in the US,
Dialogue: 0,0:05:37.31,0:05:39.70,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,gonorrhea in the US,
Dialogue: 0,0:05:39.70,0:05:42.21,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and HIV in the US.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:42.21,0:05:46.42,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,When we don't talk about sex\Nand it's treated as abnormal,
Dialogue: 0,0:05:46.43,0:05:50.21,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,people sometimes say inaccurate\Nor insensitive things.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:50.21,0:05:54.26,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The 2012 election season\Nwas particularly painful for me
Dialogue: 0,0:05:54.26,0:05:58.76,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,to hear phrases like "legitimate rape",\N"rape shutdown mechanisms"
Dialogue: 0,0:05:58.76,0:06:03.28,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and the quote \N"Some girls, they rape so easy."
Dialogue: 0,0:06:03.28,0:06:06.48,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,When sex is treated as abnormal,
Dialogue: 0,0:06:06.48,0:06:10.20,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,we don't even know what's true about sex,\Nbecause we're not talking about it.
Dialogue: 0,0:06:10.20,0:06:13.26,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,A few years ago our research team found
Dialogue: 0,0:06:13.26,0:06:15.96,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that 30% of women in the United States
Dialogue: 0,0:06:15.96,0:06:19.36,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,reported some degree of pain\Nwhen they had sex.
Dialogue: 0,0:06:19.36,0:06:24.85,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The editor of one of the most respected\Nnewspapers in the country refused
Dialogue: 0,0:06:24.85,0:06:27.43,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,to let her writer cover this story,\Nbecause, she said:
Dialogue: 0,0:06:27.43,0:06:31.16,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"If that was true, we would know\Nbecause women would be talking about this"
Dialogue: 0,0:06:31.16,0:06:35.91,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But, you know, women don't even talk much\Nabout sex that feels good,
Dialogue: 0,0:06:35.91,0:06:38.76,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,let alone, sex that feels painful.
Dialogue: 0,0:06:38.76,0:06:41.68,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So I think the way that we talk about sex,
Dialogue: 0,0:06:41.68,0:06:45.82,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and the way that we don't talk about sex\Nin this country is severely broken.
Dialogue: 0,0:06:45.82,0:06:50.14,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I also think that the way\Nwe're expecting it to change is broken.
Dialogue: 0,0:06:50.14,0:06:54.60,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,If we sit around waiting for politicians,\Nand school systems,
Dialogue: 0,0:06:54.60,0:06:58.43,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and parents to change this for us,\Nwe're gonna be waiting for a long time,
Dialogue: 0,0:06:58.43,0:07:02.61,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,because most of these people never got\Nmuch training in sexuality education,
Dialogue: 0,0:07:02.61,0:07:05.64,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,or comfort in their homes themselves.
Dialogue: 0,0:07:05.64,0:07:08.49,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So my idea is a fairly simple one.
Dialogue: 0,0:07:08.49,0:07:11.03,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But it's gonna take \Na commitment for a lot of us
Dialogue: 0,0:07:11.03,0:07:14.98,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,to sort of put this into practice,\Ntake a deep breath and do it civical,
Dialogue: 0,0:07:14.98,0:07:18.22,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,which is just to make sex normal.
Dialogue: 0,0:07:18.22,0:07:20.56,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So concrete ways you can do this:
Dialogue: 0,0:07:20.56,0:07:24.43,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Openly read sex books.\NNot on your digital devices.
Dialogue: 0,0:07:24.43,0:07:27.31,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,On planes, on subways.
Dialogue: 0,0:07:27.31,0:07:31.42,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I've been doing this for years,\Nit's an amazing conversation starter.
Dialogue: 0,0:07:31.42,0:07:32.54,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Laughter)
Dialogue: 0,0:07:32.54,0:07:38.22,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Get sex-positive books for kids\Nand donate them to schools and libraries.
Dialogue: 0,0:07:38.22,0:07:42.38,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Celebrate sexual diversity by going\Nto sex-positive art events,
Dialogue: 0,0:07:42.38,0:07:45.14,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,walking in or hanging out\Nat Gay Pride parades,
Dialogue: 0,0:07:45.14,0:07:47.53,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,going to marriage equality celebrations,
Dialogue: 0,0:07:47.53,0:07:51.26,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,like the one that recently occurred\Non this stage in Bloomington.
Dialogue: 0,0:07:51.26,0:07:52.62,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Applause)
Dialogue: 0,0:07:55.45,0:07:57.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You can watch a movie.
Dialogue: 0,0:07:57.00,0:08:00.69,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,A movie that shows realistic views of sex,\Nnuanced views of sex,
Dialogue: 0,0:08:00.70,0:08:02.94,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,documentaries like Orgasm Inc.
Dialogue: 0,0:08:02.94,0:08:07.21,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Talk about sex with a doctor or a nurse,\Nwith your kids, with your parents.
Dialogue: 0,0:08:07.21,0:08:08.70,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,If you've got a partner,
Dialogue: 0,0:08:08.70,0:08:13.56,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,start by saying something that you like\Nor miss about your sex life together.
Dialogue: 0,0:08:13.56,0:08:15.06,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Find a sex-positive video,
Dialogue: 0,0:08:15.06,0:08:18.22,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,TED actually has several,\Nincluding this orgasm talk,
Dialogue: 0,0:08:18.22,0:08:20.03,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and post it on your Facebook wall.
Dialogue: 0,0:08:20.03,0:08:23.12,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I guarantee you, you'll get the likes\Nyou've always wanted.
Dialogue: 0,0:08:23.12,0:08:24.35,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Laughter)
Dialogue: 0,0:08:25.37,0:08:27.36,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You can also go more public.
Dialogue: 0,0:08:27.36,0:08:29.65,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,A few years ago a colleague and I\Nwere in Vegas,
Dialogue: 0,0:08:29.65,0:08:32.95,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and she dressed as a giant homemade vulva,
Dialogue: 0,0:08:32.95,0:08:37.52,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and I walked around with her\Nand interviewed women and men of all ages,
Dialogue: 0,0:08:37.52,0:08:39.29,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,asking what they thought she was.
Dialogue: 0,0:08:39.29,0:08:42.50,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,A few guessed Star Trek,\Nbut a lot got it right.
Dialogue: 0,0:08:42.50,0:08:43.49,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Laughter)
Dialogue: 0,0:08:43.49,0:08:46.10,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And I know this isn't for everybody,
Dialogue: 0,0:08:46.10,0:08:48.79,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,but you can also just wear\Nsex-positive T-shirts.
Dialogue: 0,0:08:48.79,0:08:50.42,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,These are some of the ones I have.
Dialogue: 0,0:08:50.42,0:08:53.15,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Wear them out, wear them to the gym\Nand the grocery store.
Dialogue: 0,0:08:53.15,0:08:55.29,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,If you don't have something like that,
Dialogue: 0,0:08:55.29,0:08:58.31,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,you can wear\Nan "ovary ova-achiever" button
Dialogue: 0,0:08:58.31,0:09:00.44,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,or a "testicle having a ball" button.
Dialogue: 0,0:09:00.44,0:09:04.26,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,They will be in the lobby at the end\Nof the day, that you can pick up.
Dialogue: 0,0:09:04.26,0:09:06.70,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I have gifts for all of you.
Dialogue: 0,0:09:06.71,0:09:09.89,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You can also get your doctors and nurses\Nto change the waiting room.
Dialogue: 0,0:09:09.89,0:09:13.24,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,They often say that they're asked\Nsex questions that they can't answer,
Dialogue: 0,0:09:13.24,0:09:14.88,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,or don't have the time to answer.
Dialogue: 0,0:09:14.88,0:09:18.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I say add some good quality\Nsex books to the waiting room.
Dialogue: 0,0:09:18.00,0:09:22.19,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Change the posters in the bathroom\Naway from botox and vein treatments,
Dialogue: 0,0:09:22.19,0:09:26.43,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,to a "Grab Your Gonads"\Ntesticular self-exam poster,
Dialogue: 0,0:09:26.43,0:09:30.91,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,or a poster celebrating\Nthe diversity of women's genitals.
Dialogue: 0,0:09:30.91,0:09:32.28,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Make space for sex.
Dialogue: 0,0:09:32.28,0:09:35.98,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Here I started the Bloomington Sex Salon\Nthat brings sex researchers
Dialogue: 0,0:09:35.98,0:09:38.98,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,into the community, into bars and cafes.
Dialogue: 0,0:09:38.98,0:09:42.27,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,A local restaurant sometimes gets cheeky\Nwith their menu items,
Dialogue: 0,0:09:42.27,0:09:46.62,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,including the French Tickler.\NThat's from FARM.
Dialogue: 0,0:09:46.62,0:09:52.88,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Support the sex arts. From left to right,\Nis my Etsy-bought uterus-doll,
Dialogue: 0,0:09:52.88,0:09:55.76,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,vulva lapel pins\Nfrom a local handmade market,
Dialogue: 0,0:09:55.76,0:09:58.12,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,a clay vulva man that a student made,
Dialogue: 0,0:09:58.12,0:10:03.24,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and a sperm-shaped salt shaker\Nthat I picked up in Argentina.
Dialogue: 0,0:10:03.25,0:10:05.41,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Put it on the Thanksgiving table.
Dialogue: 0,0:10:05.41,0:10:08.60,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And finally, embrace real sex and bodies.
Dialogue: 0,0:10:08.60,0:10:13.70,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Check out Cindy Gallop's "Make Love,\NNot Porn" website and TED talk,
Dialogue: 0,0:10:13.70,0:10:16.50,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,watch shows like Lena Dunham's Girls,
Dialogue: 0,0:10:16.50,0:10:21.07,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and check out makesexnormal.tumblr.com —\Nthe new site launched this week
Dialogue: 0,0:10:21.07,0:10:25.73,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that encourages people to send in photos\Nshowing what they do to make sex normal.
Dialogue: 0,0:10:25.73,0:10:30.28,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Now recently our research team\Nasked people what they like about sex.
Dialogue: 0,0:10:30.28,0:10:31.26,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,A man said:
Dialogue: 0,0:10:31.26,0:10:36.50,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,"It's a very pleasant habit we started 40\Nyears ago. It makes the marriage better."
Dialogue: 0,0:10:36.50,0:10:37.88,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Laughter)
Dialogue: 0,0:10:37.88,0:10:42.09,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,A woman said "Feeling completely loved,\Nlike I was the only person in the world
Dialogue: 0,0:10:42.09,0:10:44.09,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,he wanted to be with."
Dialogue: 0,0:10:44.09,0:10:48.33,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Another woman said "Before my husband\Npassed he just made me feel good.
Dialogue: 0,0:10:48.33,0:10:51.59,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I miss the way he would make me feel."
Dialogue: 0,0:10:51.59,0:10:56.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And a man said "Makes you feel\Nlike your life is worth a little bit."
Dialogue: 0,0:10:56.00,0:10:59.91,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So yeah, sex in all of its ups and downs,\Nand ebbs and flows,
Dialogue: 0,0:10:59.91,0:11:02.25,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and having it,\Nand not having it sometimes,
Dialogue: 0,0:11:02.25,0:11:06.67,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,all of that is part of the normal\Nhuman experience of sexuality.
Dialogue: 0,0:11:06.68,0:11:09.56,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It is a normal part of life,
Dialogue: 0,0:11:09.56,0:11:13.09,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I just think we have to go out\Nand make it normal.
Dialogue: 0,0:11:13.09,0:11:16.05,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Now I have a professional stake\Nin this for sure,
Dialogue: 0,0:11:16.05,0:11:18.16,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,because I believe\Nthat if we make it normal,
Dialogue: 0,0:11:18.16,0:11:20.42,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,if we help people to become\Nmore comfortable,
Dialogue: 0,0:11:20.42,0:11:23.39,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that people will more easily report\Nsexual assaults and rapes,
Dialogue: 0,0:11:23.39,0:11:26.44,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,they'll more easily talk about\NSTIs and STI-testing,
Dialogue: 0,0:11:26.44,0:11:28.69,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,they'll more easily talk about love,
Dialogue: 0,0:11:28.69,0:11:31.04,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,intimacy and connection\Nwith their partners.
Dialogue: 0,0:11:31.04,0:11:33.19,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But I also have a personal stake in this.
Dialogue: 0,0:11:33.19,0:11:35.48,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And this is that, like many of you,
Dialogue: 0,0:11:35.48,0:11:40.62,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I know the sadness, and pain,\Nand frustration of relationship problems,
Dialogue: 0,0:11:40.62,0:11:43.45,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,when two people can't talk about sex.
Dialogue: 0,0:11:43.45,0:11:46.91,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I also know the joys, and the intimacy,\Nand the pleasure
Dialogue: 0,0:11:46.91,0:11:51.22,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that comes with relationships,\Nwhen two people can talk about sex.
Dialogue: 0,0:11:51.22,0:11:54.08,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The other personal stake for me is that,
Dialogue: 0,0:11:54.08,0:11:57.43,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,when I think of 13-year-old girls\Nriding bikes,
Dialogue: 0,0:11:57.43,0:12:02.92,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,rather than thinking of them secretly\Nbuying tampons, crossing busy streets,
Dialogue: 0,0:12:02.92,0:12:04.21,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,disobeying their parents,
Dialogue: 0,0:12:04.21,0:12:07.64,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I wish for them a world,\Nin which they're riding their bikes
Dialogue: 0,0:12:07.64,0:12:09.37,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,to a friend's house,
Dialogue: 0,0:12:09.37,0:12:12.61,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,feeling the freedom that comes\Nwith being young, and out on your own.
Dialogue: 0,0:12:12.61,0:12:15.36,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Because for them,\Nthey will be living in a world
Dialogue: 0,0:12:15.37,0:12:19.77,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,where sex, and bodies,\Nand periods and puberty are totally normal
Dialogue: 0,0:12:19.77,0:12:23.07,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,because all of you and I made it normal.
Dialogue: 0,0:12:23.07,0:12:24.11,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Thank you.
Dialogue: 0,0:12:24.11,0:12:25.83,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(Applause)