WEBVTT 00:00:00.212 --> 00:00:04.577 ♪ Music playing ♪ 00:00:04.577 --> 00:00:05.981 Guy: If we get married, you could have this every night. Girl: What? 00:00:05.981 --> 00:00:09.344 [Guy on right] You gotta be less of a douche in front of me. 00:00:09.344 --> 00:00:10.578 Owen: Are you getting mad? Yeah. 00:00:10.578 --> 00:00:11.635 Tell me why you're getting mad. 00:00:11.635 --> 00:00:14.455 It, 'cause you're like hilariously offensively douche-y. 00:00:14.455 --> 00:00:16.282 You just gotta cool it. 00:00:16.282 --> 00:00:18.589 No! Nope! Hey! Nope, none of that! Hey! Be nice. Be nice. 00:00:18.589 --> 00:00:24.353 Not to you. You just gotta cool it. You gotta be less of a cunt while you're standing in front of me. Teach me, teach me. 00:00:24.353 --> 00:00:27.500 Well, just stand there and don't be a dick. NOTE Paragraph 00:00:27.500 --> 00:00:29.634 Teach me. You're doing a really good job. 00:00:29.634 --> 00:00:33.165 How do you know I don't think you're being a dick? No, just do it like you're doing it. 00:00:33.165 --> 00:00:34.732 How do you know I don't think you're being a dick? 00:00:34.732 --> 00:00:36.956 Just stand still. How do you know I don't think you're being a dick? 00:00:36.956 --> 00:00:39.545 That's it, no just stand still. Society has different value systems. 00:00:39.545 --> 00:00:41.108 But no, that's true. 00:00:41.108 --> 00:00:42.328 'Cause I could tell you to stand still - 00:00:42.328 --> 00:00:42.996 I am! 00:00:42.996 --> 00:00:45.158 And, hey you gotta stand still. 00:00:45.158 --> 00:00:46.791 I am. 00:00:46.791 --> 00:00:47.754 Ok, now we both gotta stand still, gotta suppress our sevles. 00:00:47.754 --> 00:00:51.817 But I'm not, I'm not grabbing strangers and then calling them sluts. I'm just sayin'. Did she have fun? Did she have fun? 00:00:51.817 --> 00:00:52.929 Not with you. 00:00:52.929 --> 00:00:53.879 Really? 00:00:53.879 --> 00:00:55.383 She's gonna regret that tomorrow. 00:00:55.383 --> 00:00:56.290 Why? 00:00:56.290 --> 00:00:57.400 Just cool down. 00:00:57.400 --> 00:00:58.764 Why's she gonna, just tell me why she's gonna regret it. 00:00:58.764 --> 00:01:03.036 'Cause you're a balding ginger loser that she had to grind with in front of a bar. 00:01:03.036 --> 00:01:04.787 Ok, ok, so, wait, wait, wait. Relax. 00:01:04.787 --> 00:01:06.124 Wait, wait, wait. 00:01:06.124 --> 00:01:07.459 So, what you're doing, what are you doing? 00:01:07.459 --> 00:01:08.954 First thing you're doing is tryna make it 00:01:08.954 --> 00:01:11.839 You're representing that conformy shit 00:01:11.839 --> 00:01:14.355 when you're trying to make people who don't look like the ideal way socially 00:01:14.355 --> 00:01:16.522 have a bad time of life. Right? No! I just - 00:01:16.522 --> 00:01:17.817 No, you are, right? 00:01:17.817 --> 00:01:18.807 Number two 00:01:18.807 --> 00:01:21.490 You're tryna say; 'Don't go talking to girls who are having fun'. 00:01:21.490 --> 00:01:22.635 No, no, this is different. 00:01:22.635 --> 00:01:24.292 Right? No, is she smiling? 00:01:24.292 --> 00:01:26.251 If I got out a video camera right now, and we did a video chat check 00:01:26.251 --> 00:01:29.041 would she be smiling and laughing? 00:01:29.041 --> 00:01:30.760 Or would she be frowning? 00:01:30.760 --> 00:01:36.227 Her, and you. Girl: Hi!! -Girl laughing- 00:01:36.227 --> 00:01:38.628 Hey, we're friends now! I'm like, hey, we're friends now! 00:01:38.628 --> 00:01:40.332 No, no- 00:01:40.332 --> 00:01:41.398 You should, now you, now 00:01:41.398 --> 00:01:42.545 here's what we're gonna do. 00:01:42.545 --> 00:01:43.789 You're gonna show me how to talk to girls. 00:01:43.789 --> 00:01:44.505 And I'm gonna learn from you. I'm gonna be open-minded. 00:01:44.505 --> 00:01:45.627 No, no, no, none of that. No, I'm gonna be open-minded. 00:01:45.627 --> 00:01:47.083 Ok, no, no. You know what people like you do? 00:01:47.083 --> 00:01:50.773 You suppress people who do wanna go talk to girls 00:01:50.773 --> 00:01:52.559 and you fuck up their confidence. 00:01:52.559 --> 00:01:55.211 People that are not mentally strong, you fuck 'em up. 00:01:55.211 --> 00:01:56.952 Because people have done that to you, right? 00:01:56.952 --> 00:01:58.730 People hurt you. 00:01:58.730 --> 00:02:00.337 So you pass that cycle of pain. 00:02:00.337 --> 00:02:01.839 We're gonna stop that cycle of pain tonight. 00:02:01.839 --> 00:02:02.632 What are you talking about? 00:02:02.632 --> 00:02:04.070 We're gonna stop the cycle of pain tonight! 00:02:04.070 --> 00:02:05.523 No, no! 00:02:05.523 --> 00:02:06.582 We're gonna party! 00:02:06.582 --> 00:02:07.412 No! 00:02:07.412 --> 00:02:08.582 We're gonna have fun! 00:02:08.582 --> 00:02:10.572 And tonight you're gonna get laid for the first time in your life. 00:02:10.572 --> 00:02:13.462 [Guy off camera] With a girl. And it's gonna be amazing, with a girl, dude. 00:02:13.462 --> 00:02:15.910 And it's gonna be awesome. No, here, we can talk about it. 00:02:15.910 --> 00:02:16.920 It's gonna be awesome! 00:02:16.920 --> 00:02:18.376 Tell me, tell me, tell me. 00:02:18.376 --> 00:02:19.606 What are we gonna do? What are we gonna do? 00:02:19.606 --> 00:02:22.041 No, I do pretty well for myself. But- 00:02:22.041 --> 00:02:23.165 How do you do it? How do you do it? 00:02:23.165 --> 00:02:25.052 But I don't, I don't find , like- 00:02:25.052 --> 00:02:26.880 How do you do it? Where do you meet girls? 00:02:26.880 --> 00:02:28.448 Anywhere you wanna meet girls. 00:02:28.448 --> 00:02:30.024 Like, tell me how. Do you go up to them in the mall? 00:02:30.024 --> 00:02:30.857 No, you don't- 00:02:30.857 --> 00:02:32.417 Do you go up to them in Starbucks? 00:02:32.417 --> 00:02:34.583 The library? 00:02:34.583 --> 00:02:36.121 No, you don't - In the street? 00:02:36.121 --> 00:02:37.909 You don't have to approach anybody anywhere like that. 00:02:37.909 --> 00:02:39.578 How do you, how do you meet girls? Tell me. 00:02:39.578 --> 00:02:40.991 Very easily. 00:02:40.991 --> 00:02:42.332 Tell me how, tell me how. I wanna learn. 00:02:42.332 --> 00:02:45.083 You just smile at a stranger and you see if it works. 00:02:45.083 --> 00:02:48.581 So wait, you just go up like this? 00:02:48.581 --> 00:02:49.580 Watch, I'm gonna practice. You walk up, like [smiles]. 00:02:49.580 --> 00:02:52.166 Wait, here, watch. 00:02:52.166 --> 00:02:53.205 -Yells- HEY! HEY! 00:02:53.205 --> 00:02:55.385 I tried, I tried. This smile? -Laughs- 00:02:55.385 --> 00:02:56.710 No, see, you just seem like you're being really cunt-y. 00:02:56.710 --> 00:02:59.581 I know, I know. Show me. You should just not be. 00:02:59.581 --> 00:03:02.118 Just show me. Just, like this? Like this? 00:03:02.118 --> 00:03:05.416 Nah. I'ma let you wear your cool shirt and shit. Just- 00:03:05.416 --> 00:03:07.965 Dude, don't be mean, that's sarcastic. That's sarcastic. 00:03:07.965 --> 00:03:08.790 No, I - 00:03:08.790 --> 00:03:10.639 [inaudible] aim that weak-minded people to lower their emotions. 00:03:10.639 --> 00:03:13.583 Like, and then they're [delta sure], right? 00:03:13.583 --> 00:03:15.606 See, I wouldn't call me 'weak-minded'. I do really well for myself. 00:03:15.606 --> 00:03:19.499 No, you try, you assume - You do that kinda stuff on other weak-minded people. 00:03:19.499 --> 00:03:22.400 Right? No, I don't, I don't talk to weak-minded people. 00:03:22.400 --> 00:03:25.751 'Cause see, I know people who if you said that to, would be crushed. 00:03:25.751 --> 00:03:27.833 You fuck, You fuck people's heads up. 00:03:27.833 --> 00:03:29.177 No, no, not at all!! 00:03:29.177 --> 00:03:30.884 Yes you do, you fuck people's head up. I don't wanna touch your head. I just saw - 00:03:30.884 --> 00:03:34.996 You do. You called me a balding ginger, you called me a douche. Well, I - 00:03:34.996 --> 00:03:36.293 You told me to stand still. 00:03:36.293 --> 00:03:38.598 You're an asshole. -Laughs- No, no. 00:03:38.598 --> 00:03:39.365 Dude, dude, dude. 00:03:39.365 --> 00:03:41.077 No, no, wait, come back, come back! 00:03:41.077 --> 00:03:44.118 Come back! Asshole! Come back, asshole! 00:03:44.118 --> 00:03:47.148 [Woman squealing and laughing] 00:03:47.148 --> 00:03:49.861 Have you ever kissed a girl before? 00:03:49.861 --> 00:03:51.549 Girl: Of course. I kiss girls all the time. 00:03:51.549 --> 00:03:53.469 We're gonna kiss a girl right now. Slut. Do it. 00:03:53.469 --> 00:03:57.792 -Woman laughing- I love you. 00:03:57.792 --> 00:04:03.376 [Murmuring] Now me. Make her do it on me. -Kissing noises- 00:04:03.376 --> 00:04:06.000 Bleeeeeaaaarrrrggghhhhhh.