He told me racism is fake and was made up by social media and institution.
Hello everyone, welcome back to my channel.
Today, I want to talk to you about dating apps,
Which I've never talked about on my channel before.
I wanted to talk about dating apps because they're still somewhat controversial.
There's a preference for meeting people naturally, which I think is great, but
I think with the pandemic, it's been hard to meet people naturally,
Especially in person.
And dating during the pandemic has just been really strange.
I just wanted to share my experience on using dating apps.
I actually first went on dating apps as soon as I was vaccinated.
The reason why I started dating apps was because I started graduate studies
here at Stanford, right when the pandemic was at its worst.
There weren't a lot of people on campus, first of all.
We weren't even able to intermingle with people on campus.
The only people I got to hang out with were the 11 other students in my cohort.
- in my program. After hanging out with the same 11 people for a year,
I just wanted to meet someone else. I hadn't dated anyone at all
I hadn't been on any romantic dates or in relationships for about...
Maybe 3-4 years at that point? I got out of a relationship my Senior year of college
And then I did 2 years of work in Baltimore, and I knew I didn't want to stay
in Baltimore for a long period of time, so I didn't look for anything serious.
And then I got to campus and it was the pandemic. So I just spent a year
not meeting people romantically. And I finally went on dating apps and I
went on a few that my friends have been really successful on.
Honestly, most people around me found their significant others through dating apps.
So I wanted to give them a try.
I first want to show you which dating apps I used and try to compare them.
One of the dating apps I used is one that I've actually used before.
It's called Coffee Meets Bagel. That app has been around for a long time.
I used it once when I was in college and was visiting UCLA as a student researcher.
I actually did get into a serious relationship through that app.
But we were long-distance and things didn't really work out.
And then I never went back on [apps]. I downloaded that and tried it out.
I think it's a bit outdated now. The interface seems old to me.
The good thing about Coffee Meets Bagel is,
you only get a certain number of matches per day.
I think you're only shown 10 profiles a day or something
And you can choose from these profiles who you like.
I think generally for women, it works a bit differently.
At least from what I remember, when I was first on it,
You were only shown people who had already liked you.
So you could choose who you wanted to match with right away.
I think you could only get 1 match a day or something.
I think now it's a couple more per day?
I think it's a good app for people who don't have a ton of time
And don't want to be overwhelmed by dating apps
Because dating apps can be just endless scrolling
through profiles and swiping.
I tended to match with similar people on CMB
as I did on Hinge. So I think they have similar algorithms
in terms of matching people.
Next I used Hinge, which I thought was the best out of the ones I used.
Hinge is really interesting. I don't know exactly how their algorithm works
But I like that they have different sections so you can see who's liked you.
You could just go through that pile.
Or you can choose from people's favorites
profiles that have received a lot of attention
over the past week or so. You can send them roses
if you want. A rose is something you pay extra money for
You also get 1 free rose a week.
You can use that to show someone you really like them,
instead of just sending them a like.
Hinge is really similar to normal social media
I thought it was really similar to Instagram,
where you can look through pictures,
And they have short prompts to
allow you to show your personality.
There's also an explore page
where you can go through profiles in your area.
They have similar settings to any other app;
You can choose if you like women, or men, or both.
You can choose whether certain things are deal-breakers.
Generally, they'll show age, religion- if you have one-
What sort of drugs you do, which I thought was interesting.
I think that's a somewhat new feature.
Where you live, where your hometown is- so where you're from.
And your job. I actually ended up only using Hinge for most of my dating.
It worked better for me. I liked the pool of people I saw on Hinge
compared to other dating apps. It seems like all of the young professionals
are using Hinge these days, and it just worked really well.
I also used Bumble for a little bit toward the beginning of my dating endeavors.
I think there were a few things I didn't like.
One of the things is you can't see who's liked you so far.
So you have to do endless swiping until you connect
with someone who's already liked you.
And I think it's up to the women on Bumble to initiate conversations.
Recently, I went on a different app. It's a religion-based app called Upward.
I had never heard of it before. I went on it because faith is really important
Religion is important, spirituality is really important for certain people.
And I was just really curious to see what type of people I'd find on the app.
So I went on it.
I personally am Christian, but I saw a lot of people
on there with a variety of religions. There were
people who were Muslim, people who were Christian,
like myself. People who were Buddhist.
A lot of these different things...
I thought the pool of people I saw on there were much older than me.
Generally not the type of people I would imagine myself with.
But it works similarly to Bumble, where you have to keep swiping.
And once you match with someone,
I think it's up to you to try to initiate conversation with them.
So now I'm going to show you what my profile looked like.
This is my Hinge profile.
I currently have it on pause, but I unpaused it
for a couple of days, just to show you how people
How men would respond to certain prompts
and pictures on my profile. It has my real name on it,
I used this as my main profile photo.
It's one that I took at a winery.
Most of these pictures are from before I started bleaching my hair
Which was this past summer.
I actually changed this prompt. It used to be something like-
I don't think that's really conducive to serious matches.
So I changed it to-
I got a lot of really interesting responses to that.
I think generally, men my age are not ready for that.
It shows my age, my height- that's also something they show.
My location, whether you have children or not.
Whether you want children or not.
Whether you're vaccinated; that's something new they've added.
Whether you drink, whether you smoke,
Whether you smoke week, whether you do drugs.
My job, my school- it also shows the school you graduated from
What sort of degrees you have, your religion if you have one.
And your hometown.
Not all of these need to be shown.
The only mandatory ones are age, height, and location.
It's just a picture of me on a carousel.
It says, "Don't judge me."
I think my prompts and photos are kind of lame.
So I'm surprised I ever matched with anyone.
But... yeah....
I have this one photo I added after I went back on the dating apps.
I was only on it for a month when I first went on.
And then I got into a serious relationship with someone.
And then I got out of that relationship after about 6 months.
I dated someone who was another student here.
We just decided it was best to just be friends.
But everything's okay and I'm back to dating. :)
I added this photo just to show people... I... I had pink hair.
I'll fall for you if you...
Oh God... it's grammatically incorrect.
This is just a random pink wall corner in Busan, in Korea.
I changed a lot of these prompts, now that I think about it.
This one says, "My ideal date from home: Watching kdramas over a glass of wine and cuddles"
"Felt cute, might delete later"
I should delete that.
Now I'm going to show you how guys generally responded to my prompts.
I'll go into actual matches. So these are people who've liked me.
Who liked me over 2 days in winter break.
They show you people who've sent you roses first,
Because those are the people who are most interested in you.
So you can see how they're responded to certain prompts.
To my "I'm looking for" prompt,
"I want lifetime of fun and laughter."
This guy, to my "help me glean fruit",
"I'm a bit too short, but maybe I can give you a boost?"
This guy says, "Hi Yoo Jin! We're looking for the same thing. Let's get a meal together sometime!"
Some guys like girls who are looking for serious relationships
Because that's what they're looking for as well.
"Glean. I'm expert on this subject. That's a strong shared interest.
By the way, your name in Japanese means "Friend.""
He has the wrong Chinese characters for my name.
This guy, to the serious relationship prompt,
"If we have 5 kids that sounds like a lifetime of financial pain.
But otherwise that sounds great. Guess we can save money by stealing Stanford fruit."
Pretty good response.
That's generally what a lot of guys said to that prompt.
They were like, 3-5 kids is maybe too much.
Especially for California.
This guy to the "watching kdramas over wine and cuddles" says,
"Annyeong, how is life? Any good drama recommendation?"
I got this a lot, actually, as well.
In regards to the serious relationship, 3-5 kids thing,
He says, "Do you also have a big family?"
I actually don't. I only have one sister.
But I want a big family, so...
To the gleaning fruit prompt, "I've only successfully gotten oranges."
To the kdramas thing, "What kind of kdramas are you watching nowadays? What do you watch? BTW Merry Christmas!"
To the gleaning fruit prompt, this guy says, "Yes, hello, I'm your guy."
One of his prompts on his profile actually says, "I won't shut up about Puerto Rico and my love for fruit trees."
This is probably a really good match.
To the gleaning fruit prompt, "First we need to set up a calendar and buy a huge ladder."
Realistic guy.
Sometimes I'll get weird guys.
This guy responded to one of my photos and just said, "Netflix and chill?"
Did he read any part of my profile?
He said, "I know it's time to delete Hinge when I match with my sister again."
Poor guy.
To kdramas, "This sounds super fun. Any plans for NYE?"
"I love how we have so many fruit trees on campus. Do you have any favorite spots?"
"I love this! Do you have a favorite kdrama currently?"
I got a lot of those questions too.
This guy's cute, but also...
He says he's a trauma surgeon at OHSU, which is in Oregon.
So I'm not sure why he matched with me...?
I got this a lot too!
To the 3-5 kids thing, he says, "5? That's ambitious!"
"What's your fave drama rn? I'm watching Our Beloved Summer- so cute and funny."
To the serious relationship prompt, "Sounds amazing, I want the same."
To the gleaning fruit prompt, "Haha my family has def done this."
To the serious relationship thing, "I might not be looking for something serious at the moment,
but maybe I can be a stop along the way. What kdramas are you into?"
In response to the kdramas, "As long as it's Crash Landing on You."
but maybe I can be a stop along the way. What kdramas are you into?"
It's not a euphemism...
Just to tell you a little bit about my matching and dating experience,
I generally didn't text a lot on the dating app, because I first of all hate texting,
But I also had a really bad experience with texting and then meeting in real life.
which I'll tell you about really soon. But because of that, I always tried to meet in person,
as soon as I could after I matched with them and could tell they weren't dangerous.
Some of you may judge me for this, but I went on the same date with every single person.
So the first date was always- I would get them to come to campus and go on a walk with me.
And we would almost always start in the same place
and end in the same place. And it would always be about an hour long.
It was really boring going on the same date every single day.
But I think it was really helpful in terms of comparing people
and figuring out who was really fun to be with vs who I didn't connect with.
I really only had a few people out of like 30 guys that I really wanted to see again.
If I did want to see them again, I would ask them out on a second date.
This is another thing I think people will judge me on, but I also kept...
A very detailed list of guys and their pros and cons; what I liked about them,
what I didn't like about them. I did this because when I first went on the dating apps,
I hadn't dated anyone romantically in years- like 3-4 years.
I didn't really understand what I wanted in a relationship because I'd changed
so much from my last relationship. So I made charts listing each guy.
That's just me. You don't have to do this if you already know what you like
And you have a good memory for people you meet.
In terms of how I decided who I wanted to meet in person-
I think at first I wasn't super picky about who I met.
But I think now, in terms of dating, I know I prefer dating students because it's easier.
It's just convenient- you're both on campus, you live next to each other.
You can see each other all the time, you can work together.
They understand that you're really busy because they're also really busy.
Now I generally don't meet anyone who lives farther than 20 min away from me.
30 min away from me? Because I think it really becomes work
to meet the person for dates and stuff.
I don't have a preference for how someone looks, as long as I'm attracted to them.
I feel like I have really weird standards that generally don't agree with others'.
But if there's one thing I really have to choose-
One feature I have to choose that I really need or prefer-
I really need them to have nice eyebrows.
Because I actually don't have eyebrows; these are completely drawn on.
So I think it's really nice when a guy has pretty eyebrows.
So now going into why I don't text on dating apps.
I used to text. But there was this one guy that I texted for about a month.
We kept missing each other because we were both traveling at the time.
He lived around Stanford, and he was about 35 years old.
On his profile, it said that he was the CEO of a company.
His education said Stanford. We texted for a month and
I really liked the guy and I was looking forward to meeting him.
Then we finally met up, and it was the worst date I've ever been on.
He basically had failed to tell me he was still an undergrad... at 35 years old...
I just thought it was weird that he had never mentioned he was still an undergrad.
He made it seem like his main job was being the CEO of a company
when we were texting. But all of that aside, the reason why it was the worst date
was because he was really racist. I never talk about race on my dates with people.
Especially the first date. But this guy and I ended up talking about race
And he told me that racism was fake, and that it was made up by social media
and institutions.
And he was a white male.
He told me he was sick of everyone in the Bay Area being a "social justice warrior"
And I basically had to fight with this guy for Black people's rights.
Then, he got really mad at me and texted me afterwards.
He said he was really disappointed in me for trying to tell him off about racism.
So after that, well honestly, texting doesn't seem to tell you about
What the person is like, so I don't really text people anymore.
I immediately just say, 'I'm not really into texting on dating apps,
but I'd love to meet up and talk in person if you'd like."
Do I have any other... juicy... stories?
Mmmm I did match with this one professor at Stanford?
He was one of my first matches on Hinge. We also matched on CMB.
He was really cool! He was in a different department from me, so that was fine.
He was a fairly young professor.
This video is getting kind of long, so I'll just end it on the basic
Pros and cons of dating apps in my opinion.
The pros are, you're meeting up with someone and you don't have to play the game of
Are they single?
Are they interested in me?
What do they do for a living?
All of this stuff. It's just all on a profile.
You get to meet so many people outside of your general environment.
If I hadn't gone on dating apps, I wouldn't have been able to meet a lot of people here.
Because I'm a student.
I think it's also good for students like me because I've been connected
with a lot of other students. I've made a lot of connections through dating apps.
I think if you're both looking for something similar, whether it's casual or serious,
I think there's a lot of potential to find something meaningful through these apps.
I think some cons are, you don't really get to know the person as a friend first.
All you know is what's on their profile when you first meet them.
I think another con for dating apps is that they're very superficial.
It's basically like social media. You're just swiping and judging people based on looks.
Based on a lot of surface factors... so it's really hard to tell whether you're going to
get along with someone or not.
Anyway, let me know if you decide to try dating apps yourself,
And how all of that goes! Thanks for watching :)