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He told me racism is fake and was made up by social media and institution.

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Hello everyone, welcome back to my channel.

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Today, I want to talk to you about dating apps,

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Which I've never talked about on my channel before.

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I wanted to talk about dating apps because they're still somewhat controversial.

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There's a preference for meeting people naturally, which I think is great, but

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I think with the pandemic, it's been hard to meet people naturally,

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Especially in person.

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And dating during the pandemic has just been really strange.

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I just wanted to share my experience on using dating apps.

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I actually first went on dating apps as soon as I was vaccinated.

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The reason why I started dating apps was because I started graduate studies

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here at Stanford, right when the pandemic was at its worst.

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There weren't a lot of people on campus, first of all.

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We weren't even able to intermingle with people on campus.

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The only people I got to hang out with were the 11 other students in my cohort.

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- in my program. After hanging out with the same 11 people for a year,

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I just wanted to meet someone else. I hadn't dated anyone at all

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I hadn't been on any romantic dates or in relationships for about...

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Maybe 3-4 years at that point? I got out of a relationship my Senior year of college

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And then I did 2 years of work in Baltimore, and I knew I didn't want to stay

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in Baltimore for a long period of time, so I didn't look for anything serious.

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And then I got to campus and it was the pandemic. So I just spent a year

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not meeting people romantically. And I finally went on dating apps and I

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went on a few that my friends have been really successful on.

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Honestly, most people around me found their significant others through dating apps.

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So I wanted to give them a try.

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I first want to show you which dating apps I used and try to compare them.

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One of the dating apps I used is one that I've actually used before.

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It's called Coffee Meets Bagel. That app has been around for a long time.

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I used it once when I was in college and was visiting UCLA as a student researcher.

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I actually did get into a serious relationship through that app.

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But we were long-distance and things didn't really work out.

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And then I never went back on [apps]. I downloaded that and tried it out.

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I think it's a bit outdated now. The interface seems old to me.

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The good thing about Coffee Meets Bagel is,

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you only get a certain number of matches per day.

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I think you're only shown 10 profiles a day or something

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And you can choose from these profiles who you like.

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I think generally for women, it works a bit differently.

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At least from what I remember, when I was first on it,

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You were only shown people who had already liked you.

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So you could choose who you wanted to match with right away.

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I think you could only get 1 match a day or something.

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I think now it's a couple more per day?

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I think it's a good app for people who don't have a ton of time

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And don't want to be overwhelmed by dating apps

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Because dating apps can be just endless scrolling

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through profiles and swiping.

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I tended to match with similar people on CMB

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as I did on Hinge. So I think they have similar algorithms

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in terms of matching people.

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Next I used Hinge, which I thought was the best out of the ones I used.

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Hinge is really interesting. I don't know exactly how their algorithm works

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But I like that they have different sections so you can see who's liked you.

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You could just go through that pile.

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Or you can choose from people's favorites

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profiles that have received a lot of attention

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over the past week or so. You can send them roses

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if you want. A rose is something you pay extra money for

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You also get 1 free rose a week.

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You can use that to show someone you really like them,

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instead of just sending them a like.

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Hinge is really similar to normal social media

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I thought it was really similar to Instagram,

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where you can look through pictures,

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And they have short prompts to

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allow you to show your personality.

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There's also an explore page

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where you can go through profiles in your area.

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They have similar settings to any other app;

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You can choose if you like women, or men, or both.

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You can choose whether certain things are deal-breakers.

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Generally, they'll show age, religion- if you have one-

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What sort of drugs you do, which I thought was interesting.

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I think that's a somewhat new feature.

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Where you live, where your hometown is- so where you're from.

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And your job. I actually ended up only using Hinge for most of my dating.

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It worked better for me. I liked the pool of people I saw on Hinge

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compared to other dating apps. It seems like all of the young professionals

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are using Hinge these days, and it just worked really well.

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I also used Bumble for a little bit toward the beginning of my dating endeavors.

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I think there were a few things I didn't like.

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One of the things is you can't see who's liked you so far.

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So you have to do endless swiping until you connect

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with someone who's already liked you.

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And I think it's up to the women on Bumble to initiate conversations.

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Recently, I went on a different app. It's a religion-based app called Upward.

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I had never heard of it before. I went on it because faith is really important

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Religion is important, spirituality is really important for certain people.

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And I was just really curious to see what type of people I'd find on the app.

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So I went on it.

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I personally am Christian, but I saw a lot of people

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on there with a variety of religions. There were

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people who were Muslim, people who were Christian,

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like myself. People who were Buddhist.

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A lot of these different things...

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I thought the pool of people I saw on there were much older than me.

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Generally not the type of people I would imagine myself with.

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But it works similarly to Bumble, where you have to keep swiping.

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And once you match with someone,

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I think it's up to you to try to initiate conversation with them.

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So now I'm going to show you what my profile looked like.

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This is my Hinge profile.

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I currently have it on pause, but I unpaused it

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for a couple of days, just to show you how people

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How men would respond to certain prompts

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and pictures on my profile. It has my real name on it,

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I used this as my main profile photo.

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It's one that I took at a winery.

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Most of these pictures are from before I started bleaching my hair

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Which was this past summer.

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I actually changed this prompt. It used to be something like-

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I don't think that's really conducive to serious matches.

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So I changed it to-

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I got a lot of really interesting responses to that.

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I think generally, men my age are not ready for that.

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It shows my age, my height- that's also something they show.

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My location, whether you have children or not.

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Whether you want children or not.

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Whether you're vaccinated; that's something new they've added.

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Whether you drink, whether you smoke,

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Whether you smoke week, whether you do drugs.

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My job, my school- it also shows the school you graduated from

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What sort of degrees you have, your religion if you have one.

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And your hometown.

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Not all of these need to be shown.

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The only mandatory ones are age, height, and location.

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It's just a picture of me on a carousel.

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It says, "Don't judge me."

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I think my prompts and photos are kind of lame.

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So I'm surprised I ever matched with anyone.

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But... yeah....

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I have this one photo I added after I went back on the dating apps.

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I was only on it for a month when I first went on.

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And then I got into a serious relationship with someone.

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And then I got out of that relationship after about 6 months.

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I dated someone who was another student here.

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We just decided it was best to just be friends.

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But everything's okay and I'm back to dating. :)

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I added this photo just to show people... I... I had pink hair.

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I'll fall for you if you...

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Oh God... it's grammatically incorrect.

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This is just a random pink wall corner in Busan, in Korea.

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I changed a lot of these prompts, now that I think about it.

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This one says, "My ideal date from home: Watching kdramas over a glass of wine and cuddles"

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"Felt cute, might delete later"

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I should delete that.

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Now I'm going to show you how guys generally responded to my prompts.

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I'll go into actual matches. So these are people who've liked me.

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Who liked me over 2 days in winter break.

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They show you people who've sent you roses first,

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Because those are the people who are most interested in you.

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So you can see how they're responded to certain prompts.

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To my "I'm looking for" prompt,

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"I want lifetime of fun and laughter."

0:11:58.717,0:12:02.938
This guy, to my "help me glean fruit",

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"I'm a bit too short, but maybe I can give you a boost?"

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This guy says, "Hi Yoo Jin! We're looking for the same thing. Let's get a meal together sometime!"

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Some guys like girls who are looking for serious relationships

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Because that's what they're looking for as well.

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"Glean. I'm expert on this subject. That's a strong shared interest.

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By the way, your name in Japanese means "Friend.""

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He has the wrong Chinese characters for my name.

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This guy, to the serious relationship prompt,

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"If we have 5 kids that sounds like a lifetime of financial pain.

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But otherwise that sounds great. Guess we can save money by stealing Stanford fruit."

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Pretty good response.

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That's generally what a lot of guys said to that prompt.

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They were like, 3-5 kids is maybe too much.

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Especially for California.

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This guy to the "watching kdramas over wine and cuddles" says,

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"Annyeong, how is life? Any good drama recommendation?"

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I got this a lot, actually, as well.

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In regards to the serious relationship, 3-5 kids thing,

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He says, "Do you also have a big family?"

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I actually don't. I only have one sister.

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But I want a big family, so...

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To the gleaning fruit prompt, "I've only successfully gotten oranges."

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To the kdramas thing, "What kind of kdramas are you watching nowadays? What do you watch? BTW Merry Christmas!"

0:13:37.483,0:13:42.838
To the gleaning fruit prompt, this guy says, "Yes, hello, I'm your guy."

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One of his prompts on his profile actually says, "I won't shut up about Puerto Rico and my love for fruit trees."

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This is probably a really good match.

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To the gleaning fruit prompt, "First we need to set up a calendar and buy a huge ladder."

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Realistic guy.

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Sometimes I'll get weird guys.

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This guy responded to one of my photos and just said, "Netflix and chill?"

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Did he read any part of my profile?

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He said, "I know it's time to delete Hinge when I match with my sister again."

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Poor guy.

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To kdramas, "This sounds super fun. Any plans for NYE?"

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"I love how we have so many fruit trees on campus. Do you have any favorite spots?"

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"I love this! Do you have a favorite kdrama currently?"

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I got a lot of those questions too.

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This guy's cute, but also...

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He says he's a trauma surgeon at OHSU, which is in Oregon.

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So I'm not sure why he matched with me...?

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I got this a lot too!

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To the 3-5 kids thing, he says, "5? That's ambitious!"

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"What's your fave drama rn? I'm watching Our Beloved Summer- so cute and funny."

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To the serious relationship prompt, "Sounds amazing, I want the same."

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To the gleaning fruit prompt, "Haha my family has def done this."

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To the serious relationship thing, "I might not be looking for something serious at the moment,

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but maybe I can be a stop along the way. What kdramas are you into?"

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In response to the kdramas, "As long as it's Crash Landing on You."

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but maybe I can be a stop along the way. What kdramas are you into?"

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It's not a euphemism...

0:15:49.365,0:15:52.968
Just to tell you a little bit about my matching and dating experience,

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I generally didn't text a lot on the dating app, because I first of all hate texting,

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But I also had a really bad experience with texting and then meeting in real life.

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which I'll tell you about really soon. But because of that, I always tried to meet in person,

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as soon as I could after I matched with them and could tell they weren't dangerous.

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Some of you may judge me for this, but I went on the same date with every single person.

0:16:24.533,0:16:31.423
So the first date was always- I would get them to come to campus and go on a walk with me.

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And we would almost always start in the same place

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and end in the same place. And it would always be about an hour long.

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It was really boring going on the same date every single day.

0:16:46.055,0:16:52.344
But I think it was really helpful in terms of comparing people

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and figuring out who was really fun to be with vs who I didn't connect with.

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I really only had a few people out of like 30 guys that I really wanted to see again.

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If I did want to see them again, I would ask them out on a second date.

0:17:11.080,0:17:17.052
This is another thing I think people will judge me on, but I also kept...

0:17:17.052,0:17:22.808
A very detailed list of guys and their pros and cons; what I liked about them,

0:17:22.808,0:17:29.398
what I didn't like about them. I did this because when I first went on the dating apps,

0:17:29.398,0:17:34.470
I hadn't dated anyone romantically in years- like 3-4 years.

0:17:34.470,0:17:39.458
I didn't really understand what I wanted in a relationship because I'd changed

0:17:39.458,0:17:50.319
so much from my last relationship. So I made charts listing each guy.

0:17:50.319,0:17:54.356
That's just me. You don't have to do this if you already know what you like

0:17:54.356,0:17:57.576
And you have a good memory for people you meet.

0:17:57.576,0:18:01.814
In terms of how I decided who I wanted to meet in person-

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I think at first I wasn't super picky about who I met.

0:18:04.917,0:18:12.858
But I think now, in terms of dating, I know I prefer dating students because it's easier.

0:18:12.858,0:18:17.012
It's just convenient- you're both on campus, you live next to each other.

0:18:17.012,0:18:20.249
You can see each other all the time, you can work together.

0:18:20.249,0:18:22.835
They understand that you're really busy because they're also really busy.

0:18:22.835,0:18:29.274
Now I generally don't meet anyone who lives farther than 20 min away from me.

0:18:29.274,0:18:33.562
30 min away from me? Because I think it really becomes work

0:18:33.562,0:18:36.431
to meet the person for dates and stuff.

0:18:36.431,0:18:43.305
I don't have a preference for how someone looks, as long as I'm attracted to them.

0:18:43.305,0:18:49.611
I feel like I have really weird standards that generally don't agree with others'.

0:18:49.611,0:18:53.916
But if there's one thing I really have to choose-

0:18:53.916,0:18:58.487
One feature I have to choose that I really need or prefer-

0:18:58.487,0:19:01.123
I really need them to have nice eyebrows.

0:19:01.123,0:19:04.376
Because I actually don't have eyebrows; these are completely drawn on.

0:19:04.376,0:19:08.864
So I think it's really nice when a guy has pretty eyebrows.

0:19:13.135,0:19:17.039
So now going into why I don't text on dating apps.

0:19:17.039,0:19:23.679
I used to text. But there was this one guy that I texted for about a month.

0:19:23.679,0:19:27.199
We kept missing each other because we were both traveling at the time.

0:19:27.199,0:19:34.373
He lived around Stanford, and he was about 35 years old.

0:19:34.373,0:19:40.829
On his profile, it said that he was the CEO of a company.

0:19:40.829,0:19:45.434
His education said Stanford. We texted for a month and

0:19:45.434,0:19:50.939
I really liked the guy and I was looking forward to meeting him.

0:19:50.939,0:19:56.161
Then we finally met up, and it was the worst date I've ever been on.

0:19:56.161,0:20:03.185
He basically had failed to tell me he was still an undergrad... at 35 years old...

0:20:03.185,0:20:08.023
I just thought it was weird that he had never mentioned he was still an undergrad.

0:20:08.023,0:20:14.046
He made it seem like his main job was being the CEO of a company

0:20:14.046,0:20:21.320
when we were texting. But all of that aside, the reason why it was the worst date

0:20:21.320,0:20:27.910
was because he was really racist. I never talk about race on my dates with people.

0:20:27.910,0:20:34.016
Especially the first date. But this guy and I ended up talking about race

0:20:34.016,0:20:41.607
And he told me that racism was fake, and that it was made up by social media

0:20:41.607,0:20:43.342
and institutions.

0:20:48.313,0:20:49.982
And he was a white male.

0:20:49.982,0:20:54.620
He told me he was sick of everyone in the Bay Area being a "social justice warrior"

0:20:54.620,0:20:58.307
And I basically had to fight with this guy for Black people's rights.

0:20:58.307,0:21:04.980
Then, he got really mad at me and texted me afterwards.

0:21:04.980,0:21:11.503
He said he was really disappointed in me for trying to tell him off about racism.

0:21:11.770,0:21:15.590
So after that, well honestly, texting doesn't seem to tell you about

0:21:15.590,0:21:19.044
What the person is like, so I don't really text people anymore.

0:21:19.044,0:21:22.748
I immediately just say, 'I'm not really into texting on dating apps,

0:21:22.748,0:21:26.485
but I'd love to meet up and talk in person if you'd like."

0:21:26.485,0:21:31.807
Do I have any other... juicy... stories?

0:21:31.807,0:21:35.477
Mmmm I did match with this one professor at Stanford?

0:21:35.477,0:21:41.850
He was one of my first matches on Hinge. We also matched on CMB.

0:21:41.850,0:21:47.456
He was really cool! He was in a different department from me, so that was fine.

0:21:47.456,0:21:50.225
He was a fairly young professor.

0:21:50.225,0:21:55.530
This video is getting kind of long, so I'll just end it on the basic

0:21:55.530,0:21:58.583
Pros and cons of dating apps in my opinion.

0:21:58.583,0:22:03.071
The pros are, you're meeting up with someone and you don't have to play the game of

0:22:03.071,0:22:04.639
Are they single?

0:22:04.639,0:22:07.159
Are they interested in me?

0:22:07.159,0:22:08.710
What do they do for a living?

0:22:08.710,0:22:12.197
All of this stuff. It's just all on a profile.

0:22:12.197,0:22:17.252
You get to meet so many people outside of your general environment.

0:22:17.252,0:22:22.724
If I hadn't gone on dating apps, I wouldn't have been able to meet a lot of people here.

0:22:22.724,0:22:24.159
Because I'm a student.

0:22:24.159,0:22:28.146
I think it's also good for students like me because I've been connected

0:22:28.146,0:22:31.583
with a lot of other students. I've made a lot of connections through dating apps.

0:22:31.583,0:22:38.023
I think if you're both looking for something similar, whether it's casual or serious,

0:22:38.023,0:22:42.994
I think there's a lot of potential to find something meaningful through these apps.

0:22:42.994,0:22:47.499
I think some cons are, you don't really get to know the person as a friend first.

0:22:47.499,0:22:51.787
All you know is what's on their profile when you first meet them.

0:22:51.787,0:22:56.341
I think another con for dating apps is that they're very superficial.

0:22:56.341,0:23:00.979
It's basically like social media. You're just swiping and judging people based on looks.

0:23:00.979,0:23:08.086
Based on a lot of surface factors... so it's really hard to tell whether you're going to

0:23:08.086,0:23:10.021
get along with someone or not.

0:23:10.021,0:23:14.242
Anyway, let me know if you decide to try dating apps yourself,

0:23:14.242,0:23:18.747
And how all of that goes! Thanks for watching :)