- Coming up.
- You gave birth right there?
- Yeah, on the floor.
Yeah.
- Is there any like stains left behind?
I just had a sniff of your hair.
- Cool.
Red wine.
- It lets out a cry from the vagina.
- [Stereo talking] He comes back from the shower
in only a towel.
And I absolutely ablaze.
- Do you want to see my blast toys?
- Happy December.
So for this month, I'm going to be doing
some fun festive live shows on a new app called Stereo.
Each week with a different guest.
If you're over 18, I want to check out the app.
I've put a link below so you can follow me on it
and also check out some other shows.
Today's videos with Louise Pentland.
We had a very large low.
(upbeat music)
- Welcome to my first Stereo show.
I am joined by the fabulous Louise Pentland.
Hello.
- Hi.
This is so exciting.
- You got your flower crown.
You're rocking it.
- That's how I get old school,
sprinkle of glitter, you know.
- I feel like mine looks a bit cooler than I actually am.
Do you know what I mean?
- Yeah.
- He's got more and more tailored quit than I actually have.
- I'll tell you what it is with emoji people
and something, I'm very grateful for myself is that
they don't portray age at all.
And I think that that does you and I mostly me,
a good service.
- I mean, you're looking glowing right now today, Louise.
- That's the Botox, Phil.
That is frozen till Christmas.
- The way you can interact with stereo is
you can send in a voice message and then
it will play out for us and we can react to it.
So we've just got our first one.
Now let's play it.
- [Stereo] Have you started decorating the house
for Christmas yet?
- Well, I think Louise is the Christmas queen
because when did you start decorating your house
for Christmas Louise?
- So the Christmas decorations went up on,
let me just look at my calendar, one second,
so I can get the exact date for you.
- July,
- July.
It was the 2nd of November that we had our Christmas
decorations done.
So yeah, we were set for Christmas.
What about you? I imagine you're slightly less festive.
- At the moment, all I've got is a tree
that is covered in fairy lights.
- Can I just say for all your dear listeners,
it is the most sad effort for Christmas, I have ever seen.
It's a slightly dying plant and you've not even
wrapped them round that you just try it,
- That is my best try of wrapping them around.
- Oh God.
- I'm not a very crafty person.
So I think the last time we made a video together,
we were talking about mucus plugs and fundal rights.
And various other birth terms.
If you've got twins,
is when they both come out at the same time.
- Jesus Christ.
That doesn't happen.
- That was a long time.
I like to think I've retained some of that knowledge.
- Oh, okay, great.
That will be handy.
- Do you want to quiz me on one of them?
- Sure, okay.
What is a search a surge?
- A surge is when the baby is getting so close
to being born, it lets out a cry from the vagina.
- No.
- And that's the surge.
They are like, we've heard the surge.
We heard the cry.
- So, No.
For those watching the video will know this spot where I'm
sitting right now is exactly where I gave birth to that baby
girl that we did the video on.
- You gave birth right there.
- Yeah, on the floor.
- Was there any like stains left behind?
- No, it's a tiled floor and also it was in a birthing pool.
It's in a birthing pool,
but we did put the after birth in the bushes,
in the garden afterwards.
- Did it make the roses grow extra?
- Yeah, but not the placenta
cause we had that made into pills.
- Oh my God.
You ate your placenta, didn't you?
- Yeah, but I feel like this is probably a separate video
altogether.
- Could I, I'm not.
I'm just saying hypothetically,
if I ate some placenta, sorry, would that benefit me
in any way or is it all for the benefit of the mother?
- The idea is, it is for the benefit of the mother.
I don't know biologically what the risks of that would
resoundingly sound risky because it is like dried insides,
but it's worth looking into if ever you find yourself in a
position to eat your own placenta.
- Okay. Well now I know,
I didn't think we were talking about eating placentas
at the start of this show.
I get surprised..
- It's a surprise round Jeffery corner fell.
- Did you see that Lady Gaga released
Lady Gaga flavored Oreos today?
Just random tangent.
- I did not want.
What part of her body are they supposed to taste like?
- I don't know.
That's what I was wondering because I was thinking about
eating placenta and I was all about eating Oreos and I was
like lady Gaga did those Oreos,
what flavor do you think your Oreo would be?
If you were a flavored biscuit?
- I feel like this not a conversation could go.
(both laugh)
- You said don't have to keep this PG.
I'll just settle for delicious.
- A glittery biscuit.
- Yeah, we'll just keep it there.
What about you?
- I think I'd be very like hyper sweet cause I'm quiet.
I like sweet foods.
So I think mine would be like triple marshmallow,
popcorn, caramel salted,
but you literally want one.
- I like having lots of you.
- I thank you.
- You got so many messages coming in on stereo
for the topic of today, which is
embarrassing dating incidents.
(upbeat music)
- [Stereo] I have this really awkward story
of my first day and it was a blind date.
And I was 15 years old and I was at the movie theater.
And I met this guy on Instagram and never seen a
picture of him, never seen before.
So my older brother went with me to the movie theater
on this date with me.
And I was horrified, and after that date,
I never spoke to that guy ever again.
- I just want to say to that good thinking to take her older
brother with her, even though it will be really cringe.
I think that she gets for, for her, for, for you Glen Coco,
- That's got safety points as well,
but also kind of awkward when in the future,
if you stayed with that person, you'd be like,
remember our first date was with my brother.
- And also what if it go well and he'd gone to like,
go in for the kiss and then your brother's there,
just like,
- Gonna look the other way.
- [Stereo voice] I was staying over at my partner's house
for the first time and I just got dressed
and ready for today,
had a shower and him trying to be smooth as
how does your hair always smell so nice.
And my hair's not with the brain goes, I don't know.
It's just what your mom had.
And I realized very quickly,
I just your mom and my boyfriend.
- Well, you get points for having nice smelling hair.
But I would, I think maybe two years ago,
I would always go for the, your mum joke
quite a lot as well.
So I see where you're coming from,
especially if there's a bit of an awkward situation,
but I feel like the other side of that is the person just
sniffed your hair.
So you don't want to be on a date,
and someone's like, I just had a sniff of your hair.
Oh, I would really be flattered.
I'd quite like I think,
only because I'm sad and desperate.
So I would just go, Oh, someone wants to sniff my hair.
- Say on a date, you just go straight nose in the hair like
I have a big day for inhalation of your scalp.
So if anyone has any others, you can now send them in.
I'll tell you one of mine though.
Cause I am a gay, but I had confused moments.
I was like, I've got this repressed feeling.
Maybe I should be dating girls.
I don't know what I should be doing.
So today I thought I could talk about the times where
I tried to date girls because I thought you could
Louise offer a bit of insight.
Was I doing a good thing?
Was I doing a bad thing?
Cause I don't know.
- Well, I would love to offer you insight,
but I just want to pre-phase this with
I was not a good dater.
And I didn't have my first date till I was 17.
And then, I was his second option.
Cause he asked my best friend on a date and she said, no,
but Louise might go.
And I was like, Oh God.
- You were the second option.
How could you be the second option, Louise?
- Thanks Phil, but I was.
- So I had a girl over to my house.
Why would my parents go home?
And we were like,
let's watch a horror movie.
And I thought she's going to be scared of the horror movie.
And then if you get scared,
go through the whole little cuddle under the duvet
and protect.
I think it was Jeepers Creepers.
You don't like horror, so I'm guessing you don't know.
You've not seen Jeepers Creepers.
No.
Anyway, every time someone got murdered,
the girl I was with was the most laughing
you've ever heard, from sort of watching people get killed.
- Wow.
Wow, luckiest date.
- To the point where someone was being brutally murdered
on the film.
She asked me to rewind it so we could watch it again.
- Maybe you needed protecting under the duvet.
- After about the fourth death in the film,
I was like, maybe I need some protection.
I want some snuggling under the covers
and maybe not from you.
- Yeah.
She sounds like she would actually murder you under the
covers and not in like a sexy way.
- Not like, Oh I'll have you, but like I'll end you.
- I'll end you.
That was the first one.
I did get away with all of my limbs though.
So that was all right.
- And how did it end with her?
- It ended not with a date.
We decided we were going to go our separate ways probably
because I was sat like this in the bedroom,
but the entire time, cause I was scared.
She was going to start chopping me up with an axe.
- Did you have to see her at school like the next day?
- Yeah.
And she told everyone that I didn't want to do anything.
I didn't even try and kiss her.
- And also didn't like girls.
So.
- It was, it was a mix.
It was a mixed bag situation.
What about you?
Do you have any other awkward dating experiences?
- Honestly Phil, all of my dating experiences
have been awkward until Liam who I'm now engaged to.
So teens were horrific.
And then as you know, I became single again when I was 29.
And I was single for a couple of years
and I thought, Oh, now I'll date.
But knowing what to do, but no you don't,
you don't know in your twenties and thirties either.
I don't have really any early dating sorts.
Cause I went to a girls school
and led a very sheltered life.
So I was at university and I'd gone on a night out
with all my gal pals.
And there was this cool older guy in the studio,
not in like a bar, like a student's bar,
looking back it was a bit weird that he was there
because it was a student bar.
But, and he was 30 and at the time I was 19.
So I felt like that was very debonair.
We swapped numbers and he text me because all you could do
back in the day was texts or phone and ask me if I wanted to
go to his apartment for a drink.
Now that was obviously really stupid and dangerous,
but I was feeling racy.
So I was like, yes, I would love to.
I went to his apartment and I got there
and it's a studio apartment.
So if our listeners don't know what studio apartment is,
basically, it's just one room with everything in the room.
So he was like, do you want a tour?
And I was like, yes, please.
Even though it's was like, I can, I can literally see it.
I'll have a tour.
So he walked me around this like one room being like,
this is the kitchenette.
And the carpet, and the washing machine,
I was like, wow wow.
Okay.
So we do this whole tour.
And then he got to his bedroom area.
By the way, I've got a glass of red wine in my hand
and I don't like red wine,
but I was like, Oh cool.
Red wine.
We go to his bedroom area and he goes,
and this is the badge.
Can I just say,
I've written this in my, my book, Mum Life.
And there's more detail,
but we get to the bed and he's like, this is the badge.
And I was like, yeah, okay.
I'm thinking, he's thinking like,
what are we going to do on the bed?
Or let's get on the bed or something.
That's where I am as well with my thoughts.
There he goes on his bedside drawer.
And he says, this is my bedside drawer.
And he opens it and no word of a lie.
It is filled to the top with tampons.
- Oh, why was he showing you that as a light in case?
In case of emergency.
- Yeah, but I'm not talking like,
one box that maybe an ex-girlfriend had left there.
I'm talking like hundreds of tampons,
like how big the drawer is.
And a tampon is like the size of half a pen
and fill a drawer.
- Yeah, all leaves, not in their boxes,
just like a sweetie jar.
And I was like,
Oh wow.
And he was like, do you want any?
I was like, and he offered me.
So do you want an....
Yes.
- Did you make a hefty escape after that?
- Yes, I said I wanted to go home,
but it was very awkward because he had to walk me home
because I didn't have the money for a taxi.
So he walked me home, which was about 20 minutes.
And then we got to my place and he said, can I come up?
And I was like, no, sorry.
I'm not allowed.
Like, I don't know who's not allowing it.
But I was like, no.
Because I didn't know how to end the interaction.
I put my hand on his shoulder and I said, bless you.
Like a nun.
I just walked into my hood.
It was just like,
- Do you like some people are like train spotters.
Maybe he was a tampon collector?
- Maybe, but....
- [Stereo voice] In 11th grade,
my straight boy crush got me to skip school with him in the
middle of the day to go back to his house,
which I was obviously all for.
We get to the house, nobody else's there.
we go to his room,
I'm ready for this move.
Like, I'm gonna go take a shower.
He comes back from the shower in only a towel
and I'm absolutely ablaze.
And then he shows me his Yukio cards
and we head back to the school.
My mother is at the school frantic because she's been trying
to contact me for the past 30 minutes
to pick me up for an orthodontist appointment
that I'd forgotten about for skipping school.
I am grounded for the next three weeks.
And it turns out in the end, the boy wasn't even straight,
but I didn't find that out until a year later
after he had had an entire baby.
- What!
That happens.
That was a roller coaster.
He had a baby.
Yukio cards, is in the towel.
We need some kind of,
It's like a Pokemon card.
He just wanted to show his whole collection.
- Oh, did he?
I think he panicked.
- Well, I think so.
He's like, do you want to see my blast toys.
- What's a blast toys?
- Do you know what a squirtle is?
- Oh yes.
The Pokemon.
- Yeah, is there any Pokemon, you know, a picture?
- Yes.
If I said like Tom Anda,
you wouldn't know what that was.
- No, I do you know what that is.
That's a little tracking.
- Yeah.
- So you don't know what a squirtle is,
which is the best Pokemon.
- So the only reason I know what Pokemons are,
and this is a dating story is because do you remember when
that game came out on your phone where you could collect
them, like around your house and things like Pokemon go.
So I got that app and on that same day,
I had a date with Liam, my first date with Liam.
And was so excited about this Pokemon go.
I don't know why,
because I've never played Pokemon in my lounge.
I was like, this is so cool
that there's a Pokemon in my lounge.
Yeah.
And then I was on this date with Liam and it got to near the
end and I said, anywhere, best be going,
unless you want to come outside and play Pokemon with me.
And he was like, he was like,
Oh yes I do.
And I was like, great, have you got it downloaded it?
And I was like, it's really cool.
It's an app.
And then I made it, he was like, okay.
And then we went outside and I was like, look,
there's a Cholomander.
And he was like, what do you want to do now?
I was like, play Pokemon.
Didn't you and Dan go to Japan at that time?
I remember watching a video.
Where did Dan let go and try and collect?
- It was the Hong Kong, I got the flu.
So I was in bed and he was trying to get the rarest Pokemon.
It just all around Hong Kong.
It was that actual fail in the end.
If you ever watched that video.
No, he didn't get it.
It was a complete waste today.
I had another awkward incident where I don't know if it was
the same in your town,
but did you say making out for kissing?
No, we said getting off with.
- That's what, that's what we said.
We said getting off.
Anyway, okay.
So that's, that's where we're going.
Remember that.
I was doing a babysitting job with another girl from my
street who I thought I fancied a bit.
Again, I was a gay, so I don't know if I did fancy her.
There was weird feelings.
So I thought, you know what?
Maybe I could make my move during this babysitting job.
There was a thing where all of the adults on the street
would get two of the teens to do babysitting together.
I guess this would be more responsible.
I don't know how to teens is more responsible if you're
leaving them alone in the house, to be honest.
- Why would you put a bully and a girl team together
in a house?
- That's the classic, romantic teen comedy situation.
- Maybe they were doing it on purpose to set you up.
- Maybe my street was a cult and they wanted us all to have
babies or something.
I don't know, it was weird.
Anyway, getting onto a tangent.
So I thought, you know what, if I'm going to woo this lass,
I need to give her a gift.
So I brought a multi-pack of timeout chocolate bars.
- I'd be thrilled.
- At this age, I would be thrilled.
But back in the day, everything was lame.
And I don't know what she was expecting.
So I got to the door and I was like,
I got you some time outs.
And she was like, what?
Anyway, I just, I placed the timeouts into her hand.
Anyway, she wasn't even like saying, thanks.
She was like, oh.
Anyway, I got a bit more...
I just caught the wind, the wind is having a cringe.
I got a bit closer to something.
We were on the sofa.
We were watching a movie and she said to me,
do you want to make out?
- Oh, okay.
Yeah, kiss.
- I don't know what that means Louise.
Me as a teen, I'd never heard make-out before.
So I was like, what does that mean?
I want it to be, I don't know.
I wanted to be cool.
So I didn't want to be like, what's that?
So I was like.
- What did you do then?
- So I was like, yeah, I guess maybe we could do it later.
And she was like, what?
And I was like, yeah, we could make out later.
And I was hoping she'd changed the subject.
And she just looked at me like,
what?
So then.
- I was so comfortable cause I'm imagining this so vividly.
- I know, it was really, really bad.
And we'd heard about five timeouts at this point.
And I've got flight dairy issues.
So I probably shouldn't have indulged so much in the
timeouts, and because of this make-out situation,
I was getting a nervous tummy.
- You know me, I understand.
- I heard that very well.
So then.
Unfortunately I spent the next half an hour in the toilet.
- That's so, and she would have known what you were doing.
- I could just hear her sighing in the lounge
cause it was one of those people, they've got
the toilet so close to the TV.
I was like, you can hear everything
that's happening in here.
It was terrible.
Then the parents came home,
and they didn't ask us to babysit again.
I don't know why.
Cause the babysitting part of it was great.
- That's terrific.
So headlines are, don't give people timeouts as a gift,
although I totally would now.
So I don't know why that was an issue.
Everyone knows what making out is now.
So that won't be a problem.
So I don't think we need to give much dating advice
on that one, you know.
We've got another message on stereo.
Let's have a listen.
- [Stereo message] So this happened before my first semester
of college.
I got on the Facebook page trying to find some friends.
And I started talking to this guy and we hit it off.
We were planning on going on a bowling date
when we got to campus.
Before we even got on campus,
before we even met in person, he was like,
so when we go bowling.
Don't show me your feet when you're trying
on the bowling shoes.
And I was like, what?
Excuse me.
And he was like, yeah,
I kind of have a feet thing and I don't want to make it look
weird on the first day.
And I was like, made it weird.
- It's awkward that they're like,
don't show me your feet straight away.
- I would say, yeah, never yuck someone else's yam.
But maybe he didn't need to go straight in
with his yam, you know.
- No, there's a time and a place for the foot fetish.
And just being like, don't want to see your feet.
That's a bit weird.
So I think that's a good time to end the dating chat.
For the last few minutes, I thought we could do
something called fill in the blanks.
(upbeat music)
We're just going to fire at random topics at each other.
And just talk about them.
First thing that comes to your head.
But I'm going to kick things off with aliens.
(electronic alien sound)
- Lots to say about aliens.
I'm glad this has come up.
So one, I definitely think they exist
just mathematically by statistics.
Of course they do.
How could we exempt them?
And also I think that they have been to earth, the pyramids.
How did the pyramids happen?
I've watched a lot of documentaries and the parents and also
are they, you know, are they under airports and things.
- 100%, there are aliens on the airport.
(Phil laughs gently)
Is there any point you say airports specifically?
Is there a reason why you said airport?
- Yeah, because I think that
they have secret alien airports underneath our airport.
- That would be the least place that you're getting to look
for an alien airport is under human airport.
- I just think it would be handy because it's got
all the equipment, you know.
- That could just nip into duty free as well.
And just be like....
- I'm sure I saw like some sort of crazy YouTube video
about a specific American airport,
and I've forgotten what it is.
And also I'm scared. Even if I do remember,
I'm scared to say it in case like
I alert them to my knowledge.
- They'll know that listening, don't say it.
Have you seen that monolith that is appearing?
There's one in Utah.
Like it was like a metal pole.
- Just like a mirror thing.
- Yeah, it disappeared overnight, appeared in Romania.
- What?
- Yes.
I don't know if it's the same one.
But a monolith and then that one has disappeared.
So I'm expecting to wake up and it'll just be in my bed.
Why isn't this like - Life in 2020 got weirder.
- Why isn't this headline news though?
Like what is this thing?
I don't know, I'm voting aliens.
What do you vote?
- I'm going to vote bank C.
Oh, okay.
I've got a good.
Oh, it's quite niche to us though.
But I think that the audience will enjoy it.
You ready?
Video conventions.
(upbeat music)
Because we made it too often.
- We've been to a lot of video conventions
and spent a lot of time together at video conventions.
But the thing the best times,
but the thing that Springs to mind is one of the things that
I always feel guilty about with you, Louise,
which is we were,
I think it was playlist live and we were going to go on
some rides, we were at universal studios.
And there was one ride,
which was the mummy ride.
And do you like, is it scary Phil?
I was like, no, it's not that scary.
It's fine.
- But your audience can I just let them know?
I am like so afraid anything paranormal, like a phobia.
I said to you, is it scary?
And you're like, no, it's just fast.
I was like, I don't mind speed, but is it like spooky?
And you were like, no, it's not spooky.
- I was like, it's not spooky, it's fine.
It's based on a movie, you'll be okay.
So we went on the ride and I was like.
I was like, it'll be all right, Louis, it'll be fine.
30 seconds into the ride, I realized it was not fine.
I've never seen someone so terrified in my entire life.
And it wasn't like funny scared.
Louise was like wheezing with her eyes closed and screaming.
It was like screaming and wheezing.
You were squeezing.
- Squeezing, yeah.
You forgive me for that.
- If that was only the story, yes.
But can I just remind you what happened at the end?
So we've been really fortunate to be given like access to
loads and loads of rice.
There were no queues cause it was after the park could shut,
but like our convention arranged for us to go.
And so at the end of the ride,
I was almost hyperventilating.
The ride operators took me off and took me into like the
little side room to like get me some first aid
to see if I was all right.
You would think that Phil was like, don't worry,
I'll stay with you.
But then the rider creeks said,
Oh, do you guys want to go on again?
Whilst we're getting the first day?
And you went, you went on the ride again.
- They said it'll be really quick.
I figured you'd have to like sit in the dark
for at least 15 minutes.
Did you come out like the, on the ride again.
- Okay, in the end.
But yes, I do forgive him for that.
- Sometimes I wake up at four in the morning.
I'm like, remember when I did that to Louise,
I feel so bad.
- Was it that one with little lights,
like LED lights that we had all over the place?
- I don't know what you're talking about.
I think it goes back to the little light convention.
- No you did.
I've got a picture of me and you and I wearing a white dress
and there were tiny little lines.
- I remember that.
- But the most about that is you after it's being like,
can you put those somewhere else?
Don't put them on the table.
Someone else might touch them.
Don't know.
It feels like, ah, sorry.
- I don't know.
I might've had one down my pants at some point.
It was a whole thing.
- I think we all had one down our pants.
- I still got one down my pants.
Well, that was a hoot.
Thanks for being my favorite guest.
- We can't end on down your pants.
- I'm down with.
That's how it goes on my channel, Louise.
It was lovely to have you on my show.
Thanks for coming.
Make sure to check out Louise's channel.
I'll put a link below and have a lovely day.
Subscribe to me.
Check out Stereo.
There is a link below.
- Thank you so much for having me.
This has been so fun.
- Thanks.
- Bye. - Bye.
(upbeat music)
- Okay, we should get a thumbnail.
- Yep.
- Which I'm also filming, so this might be included in.
If you get like closer to the camera,
I want it like a higher quality Louise.
Maybe I could get you to take a photo of yourself.
- Do you want it longie or totally.
Oh, hang on.
God.
- Look inside ways.
Do you ever, when you film a video,
just have about five minutes of you doing thumbnail faces
with really weird breathy sounds.
- No, I actually the opposite because when I'm doing it,
I'm like right now do some now.
And then I think, Oh, I've done that for ages.
And I come to agitate and I did it for four seconds.
Why didn't I do this for long enough?
- Yeah.
I've sometimes got a good two minutes of me going.
- Taking a picture next to someone and you can hear them.
- I share that with you.
I'm not a fan of mouth noises.
Whenever I see Louise,
she doesn't want my mouth close to her ear
or my hand close to her at all.
- You know 2020 has been horrific.
But if there's one thing I have enjoyed is
I haven't shaken and or shook anyone's hand
will have to hug anyone.
Yeah.
- Your hand, I can't.
You know what I mean?
- Oh yeah, I'm excited to embrace you.
Squeeze me, stop recording for a second.
So I can say something scandalous.
(upbeat music)