WEBVTT 00:00:16.660 --> 00:00:18.380 Once upon a midnight dreary 00:00:18.380 --> 00:00:20.040 as I spit this weak and weary 00:00:20.040 --> 00:00:21.350 I will choke this joker 00:00:21.350 --> 00:00:24.060 with a trochee till his cheeks are teary 00:00:24.060 --> 00:00:25.050 but y'all don't hear me 00:00:25.050 --> 00:00:26.266 all should fear me 00:00:26.266 --> 00:00:27.406 I'll forever be better 00:00:27.406 --> 00:00:28.310 you'll never be near me 00:00:28.310 --> 00:00:29.280 your books are as eerie 00:00:29.280 --> 00:00:30.180 as Beverly Cleary 00:00:30.180 --> 00:00:31.670 you're a faux Bram Stoker 00:00:31.670 --> 00:00:33.630 so scram the show's over 00:00:33.630 --> 00:00:35.010 your flows so-so 00:00:35.010 --> 00:00:36.900 Poe's poems pwn posers 00:00:36.900 --> 00:00:38.630 I wrote them locked in a cave 00:00:38.630 --> 00:00:39.930 while I sobbed in a rage 00:00:39.930 --> 00:00:41.550 the Tell-Tale heart beats soft in its grave 00:00:41.550 --> 00:00:43.150 while this jerk just beats off on a page 00:00:43.150 --> 00:00:44.070 Oh you wanna talk shop? 00:00:44.070 --> 00:00:44.970 you gothed-out fop 00:00:44.970 --> 00:00:46.720 go back to Hot Topic and shop for a top 00:00:46.720 --> 00:00:48.370 there's a melancholy alcoholic laughingstock 00:00:48.370 --> 00:00:49.150 in the King's house 00:00:49.150 --> 00:00:50.370 now watch the Castle Rock 00:00:50.370 --> 00:00:51.170 you're a pouty little poet 00:00:51.170 --> 00:00:52.030 with an opiate affliction 00:00:52.030 --> 00:00:53.930 I'm a workaholic with a fiction addiction 00:00:53.930 --> 00:00:54.800 I'm making dedicated readers 00:00:54.800 --> 00:00:55.660 shivery and jittery 00:00:55.660 --> 00:00:56.940 feel that Rage and Misery 00:00:56.940 --> 00:00:58.190 you better start Running Man 00:00:58.190 --> 00:00:59.060 you're in deep poo Poe 00:00:59.060 --> 00:00:59.790 I'm a mad dog 00:00:59.790 --> 00:01:00.340 Fangs Shining 00:01:00.340 --> 00:01:01.040 Cujo 00:01:01.040 --> 00:01:01.740 Tommyknock you down 00:01:01.740 --> 00:01:02.540 till you can't Stand up 00:01:02.540 --> 00:01:03.520 you're as soft as Po 00:01:03.520 --> 00:01:04.390 the Kung Fu Panda 00:01:04.390 --> 00:01:05.260 racks on racks 00:01:05.260 --> 00:01:06.080 cause I pen fat stacks 00:01:06.080 --> 00:01:07.040 of frightening writing 00:01:07.040 --> 00:01:07.920 have you seen the pile 00:01:07.920 --> 00:01:08.740 I can even take a break 00:01:08.740 --> 00:01:09.690 from my routine style 00:01:09.690 --> 00:01:11.640 crank out a Shawshank or a Green Mile 00:01:11.640 --> 00:01:12.450 Masque of the Red Death 00:01:12.450 --> 00:01:13.310 barely Blood Curdling 00:01:13.310 --> 00:01:14.090 Pit and the Pendulum 00:01:14.090 --> 00:01:14.980 not even unnerving 00:01:14.980 --> 00:01:16.160 perving on your first cousin 00:01:16.160 --> 00:01:17.530 when she's thirteen years old 00:01:17.530 --> 00:01:18.500 now that's disturbing 00:01:18.500 --> 00:01:19.430 Stephen you pretend to do it 00:01:19.430 --> 00:01:20.290 I been really living through it 00:01:20.290 --> 00:01:21.650 misery and poverty and family woes 00:01:21.650 --> 00:01:23.440 I see through you like pantyhose 00:01:23.440 --> 00:01:25.700 doing Chappelle and Simpsons cameos 00:01:25.700 --> 00:01:26.850 even if you're gripping on a weapon 00:01:26.850 --> 00:01:27.610 then you better get to stepping 00:01:27.610 --> 00:01:28.800 if you messing with the horror lord 00:01:28.800 --> 00:01:30.000 in a minute maybe I'mma hit him 00:01:30.000 --> 00:01:31.430 cut him into itty bitty bits and I'mma 00:01:31.430 --> 00:01:32.280 stick him in the floorboards 00:01:32.280 --> 00:01:33.260 Speaking of bored 00:01:33.260 --> 00:01:34.260 you're the worst 00:01:34.260 --> 00:01:34.760 dropped out of school 00:01:34.760 --> 00:01:35.800 but you can't drop a verse 00:01:35.800 --> 00:01:37.030 I could have spent that time better 00:01:37.030 --> 00:01:37.660 in eight bars 00:01:37.660 --> 00:01:38.840 I could write a whole bestseller 00:01:38.840 --> 00:01:39.690 I'm so prolific 00:01:39.690 --> 00:01:41.320 this sickly goblin won't be bothering me 00:01:41.320 --> 00:01:42.250 I'm on a clobbering spree 00:01:42.250 --> 00:01:43.310 and I'll be smacking you with any of 00:01:43.310 --> 00:01:44.200 the big thick books 00:01:44.200 --> 00:01:45.530 in my big dick bibliography 00:01:45.530 --> 00:01:46.530 see I'm the author 00:01:46.530 --> 00:01:47.720 with the blood and gore lore galore 00:01:47.720 --> 00:01:49.440 that'll horrify a reader to the core 00:01:49.440 --> 00:01:49.830 fame 00:01:49.830 --> 00:01:50.300 money 00:01:50.300 --> 00:01:50.740 talent 00:01:50.740 --> 00:01:51.170 success 00:01:51.170 --> 00:01:52.030 you'll always have less 00:01:52.030 --> 00:01:53.070 never more 00:01:53.070 --> 00:01:54.930 Who won? 00:01:54.930 --> 00:01:56.380 Who's next? 00:01:56.380 --> 00:01:58.040 You decide