Once upon a midnight dreary

as I spit this weak and weary

I will choke this joker

with a trochee till his cheeks are teary

but y'all don't hear me

all should fear me

I'll forever be better

you'll never be near me

your books are as eerie

as Beverly Cleary

you're a faux Bram Stoker

so scram the show's over

your flows so-so

Poe's poems pwn posers

I wrote them locked in a cave

while I sobbed in a rage

the Tell-Tale heart beats soft in its grave

while this jerk just beats off on a page

Oh you wanna talk shop?

you gothed-out fop

go back to Hot Topic and shop for a top

there's a melancholy alcoholic laughingstock

in the King's house

now watch the Castle Rock

you're a pouty little poet

with an opiate affliction

I'm a workaholic with a fiction addiction

I'm making dedicated readers

shivery and jittery

feel that Rage and Misery

you better start Running Man

you're in deep poo Poe

I'm a mad dog

Fangs Shining

Cujo

Tommyknock you down

till you can't Stand up

you're as soft as Po

the Kung Fu Panda

racks on racks

cause I pen fat stacks

of frightening writing

have you seen the pile

I can even take a break

from my routine style

crank out a Shawshank or a Green Mile

Masque of the Red Death

barely Blood Curdling

Pit and the Pendulum

not even unnerving

perving on your first cousin

when she's thirteen years old

now that's disturbing

Stephen you pretend to do it

I been really living through it

misery and poverty and family woes

I see through you like pantyhose

doing Chappelle and Simpsons cameos

even if you're gripping on a weapon

then you better get to stepping

if you messing with the horror lord

in a minute maybe I'mma hit him

cut him into itty bitty bits and I'mma

stick him in the floorboards

Speaking of bored

you're the worst

dropped out of school

but you can't drop a verse

I could have spent that time better

in eight bars

I could write a whole bestseller

I'm so prolific

this sickly goblin won't be bothering me

I'm on a clobbering spree

and I'll be smacking you with any of

the big thick books

in my big dick bibliography

see I'm the author

with the blood and gore lore galore

that'll horrify a reader to the core

fame

money

talent

success

you'll always have less

never more

Who won?

Who's next?

You decide