Once upon a midnight dreary
as I spit this weak and weary
I will choke this joker
with a trochee till his cheeks are teary
but y'all don't hear me
all should fear me
I'll forever be better
you'll never be near me
your books are as eerie
as Beverly Cleary
you're a faux Bram Stoker
so scram the show's over
your flows so-so
Poe's poems pwn posers
I wrote them locked in a cave
while I sobbed in a rage
the Tell-Tale heart beats soft in its grave
while this jerk just beats off on a page
Oh you wanna talk shop?
you gothed-out fop
go back to Hot Topic and shop for a top
there's a melancholy alcoholic laughingstock
in the King's house
now watch the Castle Rock
you're a pouty little poet
with an opiate affliction
I'm a workaholic with a fiction addiction
I'm making dedicated readers
shivery and jittery
feel that Rage and Misery
you better start Running Man
you're in deep poo Poe
I'm a mad dog
Fangs Shining
Cujo
Tommyknock you down
till you can't Stand up
you're as soft as Po
the Kung Fu Panda
racks on racks
cause I pen fat stacks
of frightening writing
have you seen the pile
I can even take a break
from my routine style
crank out a Shawshank or a Green Mile
Masque of the Red Death
barely Blood Curdling
Pit and the Pendulum
not even unnerving
perving on your first cousin
when she's thirteen years old
now that's disturbing
Stephen you pretend to do it
I been really living through it
misery and poverty and family woes
I see through you like pantyhose
doing Chappelle and Simpsons cameos
even if you're gripping on a weapon
then you better get to stepping
if you messing with the horror lord
in a minute maybe I'mma hit him
cut him into itty bitty bits and I'mma
stick him in the floorboards
Speaking of bored
you're the worst
dropped out of school
but you can't drop a verse
I could have spent that time better
in eight bars
I could write a whole bestseller
I'm so prolific
this sickly goblin won't be bothering me
I'm on a clobbering spree
and I'll be smacking you with any of
the big thick books
in my big dick bibliography
see I'm the author
with the blood and gore lore galore
that'll horrify a reader to the core
fame
money
talent
success
you'll always have less
never more
Who won?
Who's next?
You decide