[donkey braying]
[crowd yelling]
[Swords clashing]
[grunting]
[laughing]
[Yelling, swords clashing]
Ahhh!
[yelling, swords clashing]
Ahhh!
[Theseus] Now, fair Hippolyta,
our nuptial hour draws on apace.
Four happy days bring in another moon;
but, O, methinks, how slow this old moon wanes!
She lingers my desires,
like to a stepdame or a dowager,
Long withering out a young man's revenue.
[Hippolyta] Four days will quickly steep themselves in night,
Four nights will quickly dream away the time;
And then the moon, like to a silver bow New-bent in heaven,
shall behold the night of our solemnities.
Go, Philostrate,
Stir up the Athenian youth to merriments,
Awake the pert and nimble spirit of mirth,
Turn melancholy forth to funerals;
The pale companion is not for our pomp.
Hippolyta,
I wooed thee with my sword,
And won thy love, doing thee injuries;
But I will wed thee in another key,
With pomp, with triumph, and with reveling.
[arguing offstage]
[Egeus] Happy be Theseus, our renowned Duke!
[Theseus] Thanks, good Egeus.
What's the news with thee?
[Egeus] Full of vexation come I, with complaint
Against my child, my daughter Hermia.
Stand forth, Demetrius.
My noble lord, this man hath my consent to marry her.
Stand forth, Lysander.
[Egeus] And, my most gracious Duke,
This hath bewitched the bosom of my child.
Thou, thou, Lysander, thou hast given her rhymes,
And interchanged love tokens with my child.
Thou hast by moonlight at her window sung,
With feigning voice, verses of feigning love,
And stol'n the impression of her fantasy
With bracelets of thy hair,
rings, conceits, gauds,
Knacks, trifles, nosegays, sweetmeats,
messengers of strong prevailment in unhardened youth.
With cunning hast thou filched my daughter's heart,
Turned her obedience, which is due to me,
To stubborn harshness.
And, be it so that she will not before your Grace,
consent to marry with Demetrius,
I beg the ancient privilege of Athens:
As she is mine, I may dispose of her,
be it either to this gentleman,
Or to her death, according to our law.
Immediately, provided in that case.
[Theseus] What say you, Hermia?
Be advised, fair maid.
To you your father should be as a god,
One who composed your beauties;
yea, and the one to whom your are but as a form in wax
By him imprinted and within his power
either to leave the figure or to disfigure it.
Demetrius is a worthy gentleman.
[Hermia] So is Lysander!
[Theseus] In himself he is;
But in this kind, wanting your father's voice,
The other must be held the worthier.
[Hermia] I would rather my father looked but with my eyes.
[Theseus] Rather your eyes must with his judgment look.
[Hermia] I do entreat your grace to pardon me.
I know not by what power I am made bold.
But I do beseech your grace that I may know
The worst that may befall me in this case
If I refuse to wed Demetrius.
[Theseus] Either to die the death,
or to abjure forever the society of men.
Therefore, question your desires;
Know of your youth, examine well your blood,
Whether, if you yield not to your father's choice,
You can endure the livery of a nun.
But earthlier happy is the rose distilled,
Than that which, withering on the virgin thorn,
Grows, lives, and dies in single blessedness.
[Hermia] So will I grow, so live, so die, my lord,
Ere I will yield my virgin patent up unto his lordship,
whose unwished yoke my soul consents not to give sovereignty.
[Theseus] Take time to pause;
by the next new moon --
the sealing day betwixt my love and me,
for everlasting bond of fellowship --
On that day, either be prepared to die
For disobedience to your father's will,
Or else to wed Demetrius, as he would,
Or on Diana's alter to protest
For aye austerity and single life.
Relent, sweet Hermia:
and, Lysander, yield thy crazed title to my certain right.
[Lysander] You have her father's love, Demetrius;
Let me have Hermia's: do you marry him.
[Egeus] Scornful Lysander! True, he hath my love,
And what is mine my love shall render him.
And she is mine, and all my right of her
I do estate unto Demetrius.
I am, my lord, as well derived as he, As well possessed;
my love is more than his;
My fortunes every way as fairly ranked,
if not with vantage, as Demetrius;
And, what is more than all these boasts can be,
I am beloved of beauteous Hermia.
Why should I not then prosecute my right?
Demetrius, I'll avouch it to his head,
Made love to Nedar's daughter, Helena,
And won her soul;
and she, sweet lady, dotes,
devoutly dotes,
dotes in idolatry upon this spotted and inconstant man.
[Theseus] I must confess that I have heard so much,
And with Demetrius had thought to speak thereof;
But, being overfull of self-affairs, My mind did lose it.
But, Demetrius, come;
And come, Egeus.
You shall go with me;
I have some private schooling for you both.
For you, fair Hermia, look you arm yourself
to fit your fancies to your father's will;
Or else the law of Athens yields you up to death,
Or to a vow of single life.
Come, my Hippolyta.
[Theseus] What cheer, my love?
Demetrius and Egeus, go along.
I must employ you in some business against our nuptial,
and confer with you of something nearly that concerns yourselves.
With duty and desire we follow you.
How now, my love!
Why is your cheek so pale?
How chance the roses there do fade so fast?
[Hermia] Belike for want of rain, which I could well beteem them
from the the tempest of my eyes.
Oh, ay me!
For aught that I could ever read,
Could ever hear by tale are history,
The course of true love never did run smooth.
But, if it were different in blood --
[Hermia] O cross! Too high to be enthralled to low!
[Lysander] Or else misgraffed in respect of years --
[Hermia] O spite! Too old be be engaged to young!
[Lysander] Or it stood upon the choice of friends --
[Hermia] O hell! To choose love by another's eyes!
[Lysander] Or, if there were no sympathy in choice,
War, death, or sickness did lay siege to it,
making it momentary as a sound,
swift as a shadow,
short as any dream.
So quick bright things come to confusion.
[Hermia] If then true lovers have ever been crossed,
It stands as an edict in destiny:
Then let us teach our trial patience,
Because it is a customary cross.
[Lysander] A good persuasion.
Therefore, hear me Hermia.
I have a widow aunt, a dowager of great revenue,
And she hath no child.
From Athens is her house remote seven leagues.
And she respects me as her only son.
There, gentle Hermia, will I marry thee.
And that place, the sharp Athenian law cannot pursue us.
If thou lovest me,
then, steal forth thy father's house tomorrow night;
And in the wood, a league without the town,
Where I did meet thee once with Helena,
to do observance to a morn of May,
There will I stay for thee.
My good Lysander!
I swear to thee by Cupid's strongest bow,
By his best arrow with the golden head,
By the simplicity of Venus' doves,
By that which knitteth souls and prospers loves,
By all the vows men ever broke,
In number more than women ever spoke,
In that same place thou hast appointed me,
Tomorrow truly will I meet with thee.
[Lysander] Keep promise, love.
Oh, Helena.
[Hermia] God speed, fair Helena! Whither away?
[Helena] Call you me fair?
That fair again unsay.
Demetrius loves your fair.
O happy fair!
Your eyes are lodestars,
and your tongue's sweet air more tunable
than lark to a shepherd's ear.
When wheat is green, when hawthorn buds appear.
Sickness is catching.
O, were favor so, yours would I catch, fair Hermia, ere I go;
My ear would catch your voice,
my eye your eye,
My tongue should catch your tongue's sweet melody,
Were the world mine, Demetrius being bated,
The rest I'd give to be to you translated.
O, teach me how you look,
and with what art you sway the motion of Demetrius' heart!
[Hermia] I frown upon him, yet he loves me still.
[Helena] O that your frowns could teach my smiles such skill.
[Hermia] I give him curses, yet he gives me love.
[Helena] O that my prayers could such affection move!
[Hermia] The more I hate him, the more he follows me.
[Helena] The more I love, the more he hateth me.
[Hermia] His folly, Helena, is no fault of mine.
[Helena] None, but your beauty: would that fault were mine!
[Hermia] Take comfort. He no more shall see my face;
[Lysander] Ah!
[Hermia] Lysander and myself will fly this place.
[Lysander] Helen, to you our minds we will unfold.
Tomorrow night, when Phoebe doth behold
her silver visage on the wat'ry glass,
decking with liquid pearl the bladed grass,
A time that lovers' flights doth still conceal,
Through Athens' gates have we devised to steal.
[Hermia] And in the wood, where often you and I
upon faint primrose beds were wont to lie,
emptying our bosoms of their counsel sweet,
There, my Lysander and myself shall meet.
And thence from Athens turn away our eyes,
To seek new friends and stranger companies.
Farewell, sweet playfellow.
Pray thou for us and good luck grant thee thy Demetrius!
[Helena] Ohhh.
[Hermia] Keep word, Lysander.
We must starve our sight from lovers' food
till tomorrow deep midnight.
[Lysander] I will, my Hermia.
Helena, adieu.
[Helena] Ohhh.
[Lysander] As you on him, Demetrius dote on you!
[Helena] How happy some o'er other some can be.
Through Athens I am thought as fair as she.
But what of that?
Demetrius thinks not so;
He will not know what all but he do know.
Love looks with the mind, not with the eyes.
And therefore is winged Cupid painted blind.
For ere Demetrius looked on Hermia's eyne,
he hailed down oaths that he was only mine;
And when this hail some heat from Hermia felt,
So he dissolved, and showers of oaths did melt.
I will go tell him of fair Hermia's flight.
Then to the wood will he tomorrow night
Pursue her; and for this intelligence, if I have thanks,
it is a dear expense.
But herein mean I to enrich my pain,
To have his sight thither and back again.
[vocalizing strangely]
[Quince] Is all our company here?
[Bottom] You were best to call them generally,
man by man, according to the scrip.
[Quince] Here is the scroll of every man's name,
who is thought fit through all of Athens,
to play in our interlude before the Duke and Duchess
on his wedding day at night.
[Bottom] First, Peter Quince, say what the play treats on,
then read the names of the actors;
and so grow to a point.
[Quince] Marry, our play is,
"The most lamentable comedy,
and most cruel death of Pyramus and Thisbe."
[all] Ohhhh!
[Bottom] A very good piece of work and a merry, I assure you.
Now, good Peter Quince, call forth your actors by the scroll.
Masters, spread yourselves.
[Quince] Nick Bottom, the weaver.
[Bottom] Ready! Name what part I am for, and proceed.
[Quince] You, Nick Bottom, are set down for Pyramus.
[Bottom] Aha. Yes.
What is Pyramus?
Is he a lover or is he a tyrant?
[Quince] A lover that kills himself, most gallant, for love.
[Bottom] Ohhh. That will ask some tears in the true performing of it:
if I do it,
(I'll do it)
let them look to their eyes.
I will move storms,
I will condole in some measure.
Well, to the rest:
yet my chief humor is for a tyrant.
I could play Ercles rarely,
or a part to tear a cat in, to make all split.
The raging rocks
And shivering shocks
Shall break the locks Of prison gates;
And Phibbus' car shall shine from faaaaaaaaaaar,
And make and mar The foolish Fates.
[applause]
[Bottom] This was lofty!
Now name the rest of your players.
[Quince] Francis Flute---
[Bottom] This is Ercles' vein, a tyrant's vein.
[Quince] Francis ---
[Bottom] A lover is more condoling.
[Quince] Francis Flute, the bellows mender.
[Flute] Here, Peter Quince. Here Peter Quince.
[Quince] Ah, Flute. You must take Thisbe on you.
[Flute] What is Thisbe? A wandering knight?
[Quince] It is the lady that Pyramus must love.
[Flute] Nay, faith, let me not play a woman.
I have a beard...
... coming.
[Quince] That's all one.
You shall play it in a mask,
and you may speak as small as you will.
[Bottom] And I may hide my face,
let me play Thisbe too.
I'll speak in a monstrous little voice,
[low voice] "Thisne, Thisne!"
[high voice] "Ah Pyramus, my lover dear!
"Thy Thisbe dear, and lady dear!"
[Quince] No, no!
No. You must play Pyramus; and Flute, you Thisbe.
[Bottom] Well, proceed.
[Quince] Robin Starveling, the tailor.
[Starveling] Here, Peter Quince.
[Quince] Robin Starveling, you must play Thisbe's mother.
And, Tom Snout, the tinker.
[Snout] Here, Peter Quince.
[Quince] Ah, you Pyramus' father:
myself, Thisbe's father:
and Snug the joiner;
[Snug] Ooh ooh!
[Quince] Ah, you the lion's part.
And I hope here is a play fitted.
[laughing]
[Snug] Have you the lion's part written?
Pray you, if it be, give it me, for I am s-s-s---
s-s-s-s---
s-s-s-slow of study.
[Quince] You may do it extempore, for it is nothing but roaring.
[roaring]
[Bottom] Let me play the lion too.
I will roar that I will make any man's heart good to hear me.
Rooooaaar!
I will roar that I will make the Duke say,
"Let him roar again, let him roar again."
[Quince] And you would do it too, terribly,
You would fright the Duchess and the ladies,
that you would cause them to shriek,
and that would be enough to hang us all.
[All] That would hang us, every mother's son!
[Bottom] I grant you, friends,
that if we should fright the ladies out of their wits,
they would have no more discretion but to hang us:
but I will aggravate my voice
so that I will roar you as gently as any sucking dove;
I will roar you an 'twere any nightingale.
Ooooooohhh!
[Quince] You will play no part but Pyramus!
[all] Oooohh.
[all exclaiming]
[Quince, off] A proper man that one would see on a summer's day,
a lovely, gentleman-like man.
therefore you must needs play Pyramus.
[all, off-stage] Yes! You must!
[Bottom] Well, I will undertake it.
[all cheering]
[Quince] Masters...
[Quince] Masters, here are your parts.
I must entreat, request you, and desire you
to con them by tomorrow night.
Roarrrr!
[Snug] Oh yeah. Ha ha ha.
[Quince] And meet me in the palace wood,
a mile without the town, by moonlight.
There we will rehearse.
For if we were to meet in the city, we'd be dogged with company,
and our devices known.
In the meantime,
I shall draw a bill of properties, such as our play wants.
I pray you, fail me not.
[Bottom] We will meet. And there we may rehearse most obscenely
and courageously.
Take pains, be perfit. Adieu.
[Quince] At the Duke's Oak we meet.
[Bottom] Enough!