9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
When I was taking a horror class for my

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
film studies minor, I read a lot of horror

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
theory that tried to explain why certain

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
films frightened audiences, and why being

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
frightened by a film was even a desirable

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
sensation in the first place.

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Not only does the effectiveness of horror

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
vary between individual spectators,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
but has the capacity to frighten someone

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
can vary tremendously.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
But the enjoyment of horror in the first

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
place is not something that everyone shares.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Culturally, we understand that a lot of

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
people enjoy being scared in the theater

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
now and then. Some people get really into

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
horror as an interest,

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or are the adrenaline junkie type,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
who really love being scared and will seek

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
out progressively stranger and more

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
disturbing intense horror films for a high

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
And some particularly weird people love

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
horror so much that it's their favorite

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
genre. And they panel at horror

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
conventions. And make short comedy horror

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
films. And video essays about horror.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
And write really personal reviews about

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
how seeing the scariest movie they had

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
ever seen was actually a healing

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
experience because of trauma and catharsis,

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or lack of catharsis in representation and

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
articulation of inner pain that is

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
difficult to articulate and... Whatever.

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Even if you don't like horror movies,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
or rollercoasters, or haunted houses,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
you can probably understand why someone

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
else would. Even if it's just the idea of

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
a safe, contained, adrenaline rush.

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As someone who loves horror,

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and has loved horror for as long as I've

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
understood what it was, of course I get

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
why people like it! And it's a big part of

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
my career to engage with it and try to

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
articulate what's so great about it.

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Then I start-- Then I try to articulate

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
the experience of watching a Neil Breen

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
movie...

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"I disappear. I become... invisible."

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
"AAAAHHH"

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
... and why I would want to watch a Neil

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Breen movie...

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"If it can be destroyed by the truth,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
it DESERVES to be destroyed by the truth."

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[affluence explodes]

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Or why anyone would want to watch a

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Neil Breen movie...

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"I can't believe you committed suicide!"

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
"I cannot believe you committed suicide!"

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
... and that flow of excited articulation

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
I can usually hit, just halts.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
It becomes sludge.

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My Breen experiences can mostly be split

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
into three separate instances.

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I'm going to start here with the second

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
instance. My friend Grahm and I watched

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
four Neil Breen movies in a row in one day

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I think our only break was to grab pizza

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
to keep watching.

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
At one point midway through the viewing

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
while I was just yelling at his TV,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
exasperated, I couldn't understand

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
anything I was watching. I was just

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
getting-- I was--

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I wouldn't even call it "offensive",

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
it was just horrible and baffling and

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
so weird and so confusing!

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
Grahm looked at me and asked me if I was

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
even enjoying watching these movies.

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I had no idea how to respond.

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Not only is it difficult to articulate

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
the experience itself, what it was like

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
to mainline Breen for six and a half hours

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
and physically feel my brain melt,

9:59:59.000,9:59:59.000
But in that moment