WEBVTT

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♪ (intro music) ♪

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What prompted you to come see me?

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<i>(Interviewer 1) Great question.
We would ask you that!</i>

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<i>(Interviewer 2) Yeah.</i>

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How so? What do you mean?
I didn't invite you.

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<i>(laughter)</i>

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What would I want you in my house for?

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<i>(No.1) We were going to ask you,
"Why are we here?"</i>

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I have no idea. Get out!

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<i>(No.2 laughs)</i>

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I came to Hollywood in '61.

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We found an apartment on an estate
in the Hollywood Hills and rented it.

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The second night we're there,
we hear a rustling outside.

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So she went, peeped
through the blinds of the window

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and there was a large avocado tree
growing right up next to the apartment,

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and she beckoned me over.

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I looked down, 
and there were two raccoons,

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sitting on their back,
chewing on avocados.

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And I said, "This is for me."

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I've been chewing on avocados
ever since I got here.

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<i>(laughter)</i>

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(No 2) Are you still involved with
showbiz now?

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Are you doing anything behind the scenes, or-?

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Would you like a kiss?

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(laughter)

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Yeah, I'm still involved in show business.
I tour with a one-man show.

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I do movies if you're making them,
and I'm quite viable...

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in every sense of the word.

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<i>(laughter)</i>

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I have four children, and the youngest,
who's now 27, was deemed autistic

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at 7 or 8, which is late. He's a
high-functioning autistic.

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My lady at the time often said that she
doesn't think he's got autism,

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she thinks he has Asner-ism.

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(laughter)

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There was a time when he was riding
with me as a kid,

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and I already had some fame, and a cop
pulled me over.

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I did a wrong turn or something,
and a cop pulled me over.

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And as the cop came up to the window to
write the ticket, Charlie leaned over towards

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the window and he said, 'Do you know who
you're talking to?'

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I went Shhhh!

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And that's one of the main efforts we
have, to get law enforcement to

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understand there are these types of
people, that they cannot exercise ordinary

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tough cop bullshit. They've got to assess
the situation and respond accordingly.

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I've often said that the world would be a
happier place if it was run by autistics.

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And it may well be.

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(No 1) So you've had an incredible
career, anything that you've done in-

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Only the beginning of it. I'm not heralded
in every hallway in the world.

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I still have to be discovered by a lot of
people.

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INTERVIEWERS: Have you ever done stand up?

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No. I can't even do good sit down.

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(laughter)

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I'm with ABILITY Magazine (burps),
Lots of sexy picture of

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Mary without anything like me around her.

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(laughter)

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Okay, enogh?

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Interviewer: That's it.

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How long are you going to fuss around?