[Script Info]
Title: 
[Events]
Format: Layer, Start, End, Style, Name, MarginL, MarginR, MarginV, Effect, Text
Dialogue: 0,0:00:00.10,0:00:39.55,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,♪ Intro Music ♪
Dialogue: 0,0:00:39.83,0:00:40.87,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Hello there ...
Dialogue: 0,0:00:41.66,0:00:42.86,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It's a common pattern
Dialogue: 0,0:00:42.89,0:00:44.47,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,for some of us in relationships
Dialogue: 0,0:00:44.52,0:00:45.87,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,to be 'rescuers'.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:46.34,0:00:48.100,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It's like we're on the lookout for someone who we can save
Dialogue: 0,0:00:49.03,0:00:50.33,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and rehabilitate.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:50.39,0:00:52.73,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,A Rescuer often feels a duty or obligation
Dialogue: 0,0:00:52.76,0:00:54.54,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,to maintain a relationship
Dialogue: 0,0:00:54.64,0:00:55.64,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,- as it is -
Dialogue: 0,0:00:55.66,0:00:57.74,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,even when they're feeling used.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:57.78,0:01:01.43,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,A Rescuer often makes excuses for someone else's behavior
Dialogue: 0,0:01:01.58,0:01:04.62,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,even when it's self-destructive or harmful to themself.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:05.12,0:01:07.97,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,A Rescuer, like everyone else, has needs.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:08.12,0:01:09.62,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But Rescuers don't feel worthy enough
Dialogue: 0,0:01:09.66,0:01:11.88,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,to ask for what they want, and need.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:11.92,0:01:13.29,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Instead, they convince themselves
Dialogue: 0,0:01:13.35,0:01:14.81,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that if they give enough to others,
Dialogue: 0,0:01:14.86,0:01:16.51,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,the recipient of their giving
Dialogue: 0,0:01:16.53,0:01:19.44,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,will clearly appreciate the Rescuer so much
Dialogue: 0,0:01:19.48,0:01:23.05,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that the Taker will begin to give back to the Rescuer
Dialogue: 0,0:01:23.31,0:01:26.45,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(which is what the Rescuer secretly wanted all along).
Dialogue: 0,0:01:26.91,0:01:30.19,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,They wanted to be loved, nurtured and cared-for.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:30.73,0:01:34.49,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,That is the hope - and the fantasy - of the Rescuer.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:34.87,0:01:37.21,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But because the Rescuer has chosen a Taker
Dialogue: 0,0:01:37.26,0:01:39.96,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(someone who by definition takes and cannot give
Dialogue: 0,0:01:39.97,0:01:41.45,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,because of the state they're in)
Dialogue: 0,0:01:41.51,0:01:44.51,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,the Rescuer never gets what he or she really wants,
Dialogue: 0,0:01:44.58,0:01:46.26,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,which is - to be rescued.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:47.49,0:01:50.09,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,There is no such thing as a Rescuer
Dialogue: 0,0:01:50.15,0:01:52.29,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that doesn't want to be rescued.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:52.99,0:01:55.86,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,If we're the classic Rescuer (which I've just described)
Dialogue: 0,0:01:55.90,0:01:58.29,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,it's really important for us to look at the resistance
Dialogue: 0,0:01:58.33,0:02:00.58,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that we have to asserting our needs and wants -
Dialogue: 0,0:02:00.62,0:02:02.64,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,to asking for what we need and want.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:03.25,0:02:04.54,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,We also have to understand
Dialogue: 0,0:02:04.58,0:02:06.81,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that we have a difficult time receiving -
Dialogue: 0,0:02:06.98,0:02:10.09,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,so we have to also look at our resistance to receiving,
Dialogue: 0,0:02:10.26,0:02:12.76,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and begin to take steps to open ourself up
Dialogue: 0,0:02:12.79,0:02:16.03,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,to receiving things from other people, more and more.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:17.70,0:02:20.98,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Now you might be watching this episode and thinking:
Dialogue: 0,0:02:21.09,0:02:24.39,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,'Wha..? Thank God that's not me, I'm definitely NOT a Rescuer!'
Dialogue: 0,0:02:24.46,0:02:26.20,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You can go ahead and think again -
Dialogue: 0,0:02:26.63,0:02:28.40,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,because what I'm about to demonstrate
Dialogue: 0,0:02:28.49,0:02:31.59,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,is that most of us are, in fact, Rescuers.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:31.66,0:02:34.80,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Attraction is simple - it's either there or it isn't there.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:34.85,0:02:36.93,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And yet, it's a much more complicated thing
Dialogue: 0,0:02:36.95,0:02:38.59,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,than you've been led to believe.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:40.06,0:02:42.74,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Many things draw us to a specific person ...
Dialogue: 0,0:02:42.98,0:02:45.53,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Some are savory, some are unsavory.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:46.06,0:02:47.10,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But it is to be understood
Dialogue: 0,0:02:47.14,0:02:48.61,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that when we are searching for a mate
Dialogue: 0,0:02:48.65,0:02:51.51,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,we're looking for a match, an equal.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:51.63,0:02:55.12,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,We are in fact, looking for Ourselves in Another.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:56.04,0:02:59.40,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,In the big picture, opposites don't really attract.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:00.09,0:03:02.93,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,One could say that the fact females and males
Dialogue: 0,0:03:02.97,0:03:04.30,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,generally attract each other
Dialogue: 0,0:03:04.32,0:03:06.30,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,is evidence that opposites attract,
Dialogue: 0,0:03:06.48,0:03:08.37,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,but if you expand your view you'll see that
Dialogue: 0,0:03:08.42,0:03:11.27,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,even though there might be a male and a female
Dialogue: 0,0:03:11.59,0:03:14.86,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,both are Human - so same attracts same.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:15.16,0:03:17.12,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,In many ways, it could be argued
Dialogue: 0,0:03:17.19,0:03:20.89,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that Duality and Non-Duality is just a matter of perspective -
Dialogue: 0,0:03:21.35,0:03:23.29,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,but as it applies to Humans,
Dialogue: 0,0:03:23.81,0:03:25.94,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,what happens when people are dealing with pain
Dialogue: 0,0:03:26.01,0:03:27.88,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,or a baseline Vibration,
Dialogue: 0,0:03:28.08,0:03:30.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,is that they swing to one degree or the other.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:31.44,0:03:34.91,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,For example, let's take two people - a male and a female.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:34.97,0:03:37.41,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Both of them have social anxiety.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:37.92,0:03:39.52,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Because of that social anxiety,
Dialogue: 0,0:03:39.58,0:03:41.78,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,one, might decide to become a wall-flower -
Dialogue: 0,0:03:41.82,0:03:44.76,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,to withdraw from the group and to hide in the corner.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:45.35,0:03:47.76,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Now, the same kind of person
Dialogue: 0,0:03:48.68,0:03:50.57,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(who, also has social anxiety)
Dialogue: 0,0:03:50.62,0:03:54.30,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,might decide to swing the pendulum to the entire opposite side -
Dialogue: 0,0:03:54.46,0:03:56.24,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,they might become the Class Clown,
Dialogue: 0,0:03:56.32,0:03:58.29,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,developing a facade that they put forth
Dialogue: 0,0:03:58.34,0:04:00.04,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that they can hide behind.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:00.37,0:04:01.65,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Now, it's easy to say
Dialogue: 0,0:04:01.69,0:04:03.28,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,- if these two people fell in-love -
Dialogue: 0,0:04:03.31,0:04:05.04,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that 'Opposites Attract'.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:05.82,0:04:06.97,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But when we look at them closer,
Dialogue: 0,0:04:07.01,0:04:10.82,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,we see that *both* had social anxiety.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:10.95,0:04:15.43,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So the baseline Vibration that unites them is exactly the same.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:15.72,0:04:17.12,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Most of the process of attraction
Dialogue: 0,0:04:17.18,0:04:19.43,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,is happening on a subconscious level -
Dialogue: 0,0:04:19.47,0:04:22.79,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,we're looking for the person who mirrors us the very-best.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:22.87,0:04:25.43,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,This is the way that the Universe or Collective Consciousness
Dialogue: 0,0:04:25.47,0:04:27.47,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,ensures the most Expansion.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:27.66,0:04:31.77,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Self-Actualization is facilitated by our relationships.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:32.08,0:04:33.28,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Because of the Law of Attraction,
Dialogue: 0,0:04:33.32,0:04:34.86,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,the Universe draws us to the person
Dialogue: 0,0:04:34.90,0:04:37.13,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,who mirrors us the very-best.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:37.98,0:04:39.54,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It feels great when our partner
Dialogue: 0,0:04:39.58,0:04:41.14,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,mirrors good-feeling things within us,
Dialogue: 0,0:04:41.18,0:04:44.15,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,like our caring or our depth or our intellect;
Dialogue: 0,0:04:44.39,0:04:47.76,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,but that is not the only Vibration that is resident within us -
Dialogue: 0,0:04:47.82,0:04:50.41,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,we also have bad-feeling things within us as well,
Dialogue: 0,0:04:50.46,0:04:53.71,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,like our inability to receive or our self-centeredness
Dialogue: 0,0:04:53.77,0:04:55.53,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,or our close-mindedness.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:56.06,0:04:58.65,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I have yet to meet a person, in my lifetime,
Dialogue: 0,0:04:58.68,0:05:00.89,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,who has never experienced trauma.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:01.28,0:05:05.73,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Even if parents were capable of providing a perfect upbringing,
Dialogue: 0,0:05:05.79,0:05:08.90,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,full of complete love and everything else you could hope
Dialogue: 0,0:05:08.95,0:05:11.51,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,for an individual to grow into a healthy adult,
Dialogue: 0,0:05:12.01,0:05:13.17,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,just the experience
Dialogue: 0,0:05:13.23,0:05:15.79,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,of being separated from Collective Consciousness
Dialogue: 0,0:05:15.83,0:05:17.22,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,into a separate Identity
Dialogue: 0,0:05:17.26,0:05:19.98,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(which happens upon coming into this physical dimension)
Dialogue: 0,0:05:20.05,0:05:21.97,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,*is* a traumatizing event.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:22.42,0:05:23.36,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So what you're looking at
Dialogue: 0,0:05:23.40,0:05:24.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,when you're looking at a group of people,
Dialogue: 0,0:05:25.04,0:05:27.82,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,is just varying degrees of Trauma.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:28.21,0:05:32.06,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,These traumatizing experiences cause wounds within us -
Dialogue: 0,0:05:32.12,0:05:34.46,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,emotionally, mentally, and even physically -
Dialogue: 0,0:05:34.56,0:05:37.56,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and sometimes these wounds go unhealed.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:37.90,0:05:39.86,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Whether you're conscious of it or not,
Dialogue: 0,0:05:40.11,0:05:43.99,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,your Being's ultimate desire is for complete Healing.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:44.03,0:05:45.21,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And, rather than Healing,
Dialogue: 0,0:05:45.26,0:05:48.48,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,let's say: complete Wholeness, complete Integration.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:49.18,0:05:50.36,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Because of this,
Dialogue: 0,0:05:50.43,0:05:52.55,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,you'll be drawn towards partners
Dialogue: 0,0:05:52.59,0:05:53.96,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,who make you aware of
Dialogue: 0,0:05:54.03,0:05:56.74,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,those particular wounds that are unhealed within you.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:56.88,0:05:58.31,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You will be drawn to the partners
Dialogue: 0,0:05:58.33,0:06:00.65,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,who mirror those aspects of you.
Dialogue: 0,0:06:00.97,0:06:03.61,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Because you are not Conscious and aware of these wounds,
Dialogue: 0,0:06:03.66,0:06:05.82,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,because they happened so long ago,
Dialogue: 0,0:06:06.16,0:06:09.18,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,the people that we are inexplicably drawn to
Dialogue: 0,0:06:09.24,0:06:11.69,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,have the same wound that we do.
Dialogue: 0,0:06:11.78,0:06:13.75,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,And because they have the same wound that we do,
Dialogue: 0,0:06:13.81,0:06:17.25,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,it causes a flare-up in the wound that we both share.
Dialogue: 0,0:06:17.49,0:06:20.10,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Here is where the Rescuer dynamic comes in.
Dialogue: 0,0:06:20.65,0:06:21.51,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You have always
Dialogue: 0,0:06:21.55,0:06:23.08,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(even if it's on a subconscious level)
Dialogue: 0,0:06:23.12,0:06:25.100,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,wanted to heal that deep wound within you
Dialogue: 0,0:06:26.31,0:06:29.37,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,but you buried it, deep in your subconscious.
Dialogue: 0,0:06:29.62,0:06:32.46,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So the only way to see that wound again
Dialogue: 0,0:06:32.54,0:06:34.40,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,is to step in front of a mirror -
Dialogue: 0,0:06:34.45,0:06:36.26,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,the mirror is the partner.
Dialogue: 0,0:06:36.49,0:06:38.23,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So the minute you step in front of the partner,
Dialogue: 0,0:06:38.28,0:06:40.66,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,you have that wound mirrored for you.
Dialogue: 0,0:06:40.71,0:06:41.86,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,But here's the issue:
Dialogue: 0,0:06:41.91,0:06:44.26,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,then you go to work, trying to heal the wound
Dialogue: 0,0:06:44.28,0:06:45.55,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,in the reflection,
Dialogue: 0,0:06:45.64,0:06:46.94,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,in the other person,
Dialogue: 0,0:06:47.62,0:06:49.90,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,you try to rescue, or heal,
Dialogue: 0,0:06:49.92,0:06:52.15,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,the wound within you, through them ...
Dialogue: 0,0:06:52.44,0:06:54.39,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,It's as if you're subconsciously thinking:
Dialogue: 0,0:06:54.47,0:06:56.52,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,'If I can just heal that wound in this other person,
Dialogue: 0,0:06:56.56,0:06:58.32,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I will have healed it myself'.
Dialogue: 0,0:06:58.54,0:07:00.87,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You are insatiably attracted to the people
Dialogue: 0,0:07:00.92,0:07:02.35,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,who provide you with the opportunity
Dialogue: 0,0:07:02.39,0:07:04.50,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,to become aware of, and heal, that wound -
Dialogue: 0,0:07:04.55,0:07:07.67,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,thus becoming a Rescuer to that hurt aspect of them
Dialogue: 0,0:07:07.73,0:07:09.21,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,*and* you.
Dialogue: 0,0:07:09.38,0:07:12.47,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Those of you who can recognize chronic patterns
Dialogue: 0,0:07:12.52,0:07:14.96,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that are painful within your relationships
Dialogue: 0,0:07:15.08,0:07:18.56,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,need to pay special attention to this particular dynamic.
Dialogue: 0,0:07:18.89,0:07:22.16,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Because, painful relationships that are chronic,
Dialogue: 0,0:07:22.62,0:07:23.97,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,in their patterning,
Dialogue: 0,0:07:24.38,0:07:28.81,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,tend to be the result of people who are chronically trying
Dialogue: 0,0:07:28.89,0:07:31.41,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,to heal their own wounds through other people.
Dialogue: 0,0:07:32.32,0:07:37.37,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,We are, in essence, trying to heal ourselves (or love ourselves)
Dialogue: 0,0:07:37.43,0:07:38.87,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,by loving them.
Dialogue: 0,0:07:39.80,0:07:42.19,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Take a very objective look at what you are attracted to
Dialogue: 0,0:07:42.24,0:07:45.04,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,about the people you have been in a relationship with
Dialogue: 0,0:07:45.09,0:07:47.07,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(or are in a relationship with).
Dialogue: 0,0:07:48.24,0:07:50.90,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,What are you drawn to, again and again?
Dialogue: 0,0:07:51.09,0:07:52.49,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Rather than get lost in how
Dialogue: 0,0:07:52.54,0:07:54.70,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,any of them were different from each other,
Dialogue: 0,0:07:54.72,0:07:57.66,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,begin to look for what they had in common with each other.
Dialogue: 0,0:07:57.82,0:07:59.26,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Then ask yourself:
Dialogue: 0,0:07:59.91,0:08:03.66,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,What am I drawn to, that keeps causing me problems?
Dialogue: 0,0:08:04.63,0:08:05.45,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,For example -
Dialogue: 0,0:08:05.50,0:08:08.62,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,A woman might look back over her dating record
Dialogue: 0,0:08:08.68,0:08:10.14,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(or relationship record)
Dialogue: 0,0:08:10.21,0:08:12.77,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and she might notice that all of these men
Dialogue: 0,0:08:12.82,0:08:14.74,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,seem to be different at face-value
Dialogue: 0,0:08:14.78,0:08:16.52,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,but the thing that they all have in common
Dialogue: 0,0:08:16.57,0:08:19.74,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,is that they're all athletes, and they're all loners.
Dialogue: 0,0:08:20.42,0:08:22.51,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,She is insatiably attracted to outcasts
Dialogue: 0,0:08:22.54,0:08:24.64,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,who are lost with nowhere to belong.
Dialogue: 0,0:08:25.50,0:08:27.20,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,She might recognize that the fact
Dialogue: 0,0:08:27.24,0:08:30.07,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that she's been with athletes isn't causing her pain -
Dialogue: 0,0:08:30.14,0:08:31.38,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,what's causing her pain
Dialogue: 0,0:08:31.45,0:08:34.91,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,is the Loner aspect that all of these men have in common.
Dialogue: 0,0:08:35.06,0:08:37.92,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The reason that that aspect is what's causing her pain
Dialogue: 0,0:08:37.100,0:08:40.95,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,is that chances are about 50-50 that you end up
Dialogue: 0,0:08:40.100,0:08:44.62,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,with somebody who's lonely for 'reasonable' reasons,
Dialogue: 0,0:08:44.70,0:08:48.67,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,or someone who's lonely because of their personality.
Dialogue: 0,0:08:49.04,0:08:52.14,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Loners tend to keep people at arm's length -
Dialogue: 0,0:08:52.18,0:08:54.25,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,they tend to be emotionally unavailable,
Dialogue: 0,0:08:54.30,0:08:57.00,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,so no one really wants to spend time with that kind of person -
Dialogue: 0,0:08:57.08,0:08:59.29,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and that might be just why they're alone.
Dialogue: 0,0:08:59.50,0:09:00.35,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So she notices
Dialogue: 0,0:09:00.40,0:09:01.74,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that when she gets into a relationship
Dialogue: 0,0:09:01.77,0:09:03.70,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,with these type of Loner men,
Dialogue: 0,0:09:03.78,0:09:05.23,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,she ends up feeling even more lonely
Dialogue: 0,0:09:05.28,0:09:06.93,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,than she did to begin with.
Dialogue: 0,0:09:07.63,0:09:11.03,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,They end up mirroring her own wounds of loneliness.
Dialogue: 0,0:09:11.24,0:09:13.69,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You see the reality, if this woman was to look deep enough,
Dialogue: 0,0:09:13.71,0:09:15.65,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,is that she, herself, was lonely.
Dialogue: 0,0:09:16.25,0:09:18.77,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Her wound is that she feels like a loner
Dialogue: 0,0:09:18.82,0:09:20.69,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,who is lost with nowhere to belong.
Dialogue: 0,0:09:20.76,0:09:23.70,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,She is attracting men with her exact same wound.
Dialogue: 0,0:09:23.74,0:09:25.25,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,She is subconsciously convinced
Dialogue: 0,0:09:25.29,0:09:26.45,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that if she can get a Loner
Dialogue: 0,0:09:26.49,0:09:29.18,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,who is lost and who doesn't belong,
Dialogue: 0,0:09:29.51,0:09:31.84,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,to feel lovingly connected to her,
Dialogue: 0,0:09:31.90,0:09:33.50,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and feel like they belong with her -
Dialogue: 0,0:09:33.57,0:09:35.65,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,she has solved her own loneliness problem.
Dialogue: 0,0:09:36.18,0:09:38.12,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,When this woman thinks about the prospect
Dialogue: 0,0:09:38.15,0:09:39.94,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,of being with a man who is not lonely
Dialogue: 0,0:09:40.01,0:09:41.04,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and who is not lost
Dialogue: 0,0:09:41.07,0:09:43.74,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and who feels as if he *does* belong in the life he's living,
Dialogue: 0,0:09:43.82,0:09:47.05,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,she feels as if there'll be no space for her in his life.
Dialogue: 0,0:09:47.22,0:09:49.01,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,She fears that he will only make her feel
Dialogue: 0,0:09:49.08,0:09:50.20,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,like *she* does not fit in,
Dialogue: 0,0:09:50.24,0:09:52.81,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and thus feel lonelier and more like an outcast.
Dialogue: 0,0:09:52.86,0:09:55.01,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,This woman is trying to rescue herself
Dialogue: 0,0:09:55.05,0:09:56.81,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,through the men she is with.
Dialogue: 0,0:09:56.93,0:09:58.28,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,She is trying to rescue and heal
Dialogue: 0,0:09:58.35,0:10:00.41,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,the parts of herself that need healing,
Dialogue: 0,0:10:00.45,0:10:01.64,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,through him.
Dialogue: 0,0:10:02.10,0:10:04.28,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,We look for others who have the same wounds
Dialogue: 0,0:10:04.34,0:10:07.62,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,so we can heal ourselves, externally.
Dialogue: 0,0:10:08.70,0:10:12.70,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,We are chronically drawn to 'rescuing' in this way -
Dialogue: 0,0:10:13.22,0:10:17.01,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,but we are, vicariously, trying to rescue ourselves.
Dialogue: 0,0:10:17.47,0:10:18.82,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Here's another example:
Dialogue: 0,0:10:19.17,0:10:21.89,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Say that a man looks back over his relationship record.
Dialogue: 0,0:10:21.94,0:10:23.38,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Even though the women he has been with
Dialogue: 0,0:10:23.43,0:10:25.44,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,might seem different at face-value,
Dialogue: 0,0:10:25.50,0:10:28.04,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,he notices that they all have something in common.
Dialogue: 0,0:10:28.43,0:10:30.47,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,They have all been unstable,
Dialogue: 0,0:10:30.55,0:10:31.96,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,they have all been 'dark',
Dialogue: 0,0:10:32.11,0:10:33.67,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and they've all been negative.
Dialogue: 0,0:10:33.90,0:10:38.56,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Also, they've all had this driving urge to be famous -
Dialogue: 0,0:10:38.95,0:10:40.23,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,which of course, to us means
Dialogue: 0,0:10:40.28,0:10:42.54,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that they lack a sense of significance.
Dialogue: 0,0:10:43.22,0:10:44.32,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,This man notices,
Dialogue: 0,0:10:44.39,0:10:46.70,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that even though all of these women have been beautiful
Dialogue: 0,0:10:46.74,0:10:48.21,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,(that's another thing they have in common),
Dialogue: 0,0:10:48.29,0:10:49.56,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that fact that they're beautiful
Dialogue: 0,0:10:49.58,0:10:51.50,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,does not really cause him problems.
Dialogue: 0,0:10:51.54,0:10:53.31,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,What's causing him problems
Dialogue: 0,0:10:53.38,0:10:57.81,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,is the fact that these women are unstable, dark, negative,
Dialogue: 0,0:10:57.99,0:11:00.37,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and don't feel their own significance.
Dialogue: 0,0:11:00.54,0:11:01.86,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The reason it keeps causing him pain
Dialogue: 0,0:11:01.94,0:11:03.63,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,is that these common personality traits
Dialogue: 0,0:11:03.66,0:11:04.69,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,in the women he has been with
Dialogue: 0,0:11:04.72,0:11:07.50,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,always end up making him feel emotionally unstable,
Dialogue: 0,0:11:07.54,0:11:10.80,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,hopeless, and as if he's sinking into a dark space.
Dialogue: 0,0:11:11.30,0:11:14.17,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You see the reality, if this man was to look deep enough,
Dialogue: 0,0:11:14.21,0:11:16.78,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,is that he himself is emotionally unstable,
Dialogue: 0,0:11:16.80,0:11:20.50,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,dark, negative, and lacks a sense of significance -
Dialogue: 0,0:11:20.77,0:11:22.02,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that is *his* wound.
Dialogue: 0,0:11:22.08,0:11:24.93,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,He is attracting women with his exact same wound.
Dialogue: 0,0:11:25.19,0:11:26.52,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,He is subconsciously convinced
Dialogue: 0,0:11:26.58,0:11:29.39,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that if he can get an unstable, dark, negative woman
Dialogue: 0,0:11:29.44,0:11:31.29,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,who lacks a sense of significance,
Dialogue: 0,0:11:31.34,0:11:34.67,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,to feel stable, light, happy and self-confident -
Dialogue: 0,0:11:34.78,0:11:36.47,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,he has healed his own problem.
Dialogue: 0,0:11:36.77,0:11:39.04,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,When this man thinks about the prospect of being with a woman
Dialogue: 0,0:11:39.07,0:11:41.49,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,who is stable, light, happy and self-confident,
Dialogue: 0,0:11:41.52,0:11:43.32,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,he feels as sense of panic.
Dialogue: 0,0:11:43.43,0:11:45.06,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,He feels as if he will be exposed
Dialogue: 0,0:11:45.11,0:11:46.67,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and cannot hide his dysfunction
Dialogue: 0,0:11:46.75,0:11:49.35,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and is, ultimately, not good-enough for her.
Dialogue: 0,0:11:49.74,0:11:51.45,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,This man is trying to rescue himself
Dialogue: 0,0:11:51.50,0:11:53.35,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,through the women he is with.
Dialogue: 0,0:11:53.48,0:11:54.74,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,He is trying to rescue and heal
Dialogue: 0,0:11:54.76,0:11:56.74,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,the parts of himself that need healing,
Dialogue: 0,0:11:56.82,0:11:58.04,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,through her.
Dialogue: 0,0:11:58.29,0:12:00.93,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,If your relationships are chronically painful,
Dialogue: 0,0:12:00.98,0:12:03.23,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,chances are that what you have in common
Dialogue: 0,0:12:03.29,0:12:04.62,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,is your wounds.
Dialogue: 0,0:12:04.89,0:12:07.83,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,You are trying to save yourselves through each other
Dialogue: 0,0:12:07.87,0:12:10.23,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and as the other person exacerbates your wounds,
Dialogue: 0,0:12:10.27,0:12:12.79,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,you will beg them to solve the problem and make you feel better,
Dialogue: 0,0:12:12.84,0:12:14.57,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,but the pain just gets worse ...
Dialogue: 0,0:12:14.71,0:12:15.94,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The more time you're with them,
Dialogue: 0,0:12:15.98,0:12:18.07,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,the bigger this mirror becomes.
Dialogue: 0,0:12:18.50,0:12:19.54,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I will give you a hint
Dialogue: 0,0:12:19.56,0:12:22.44,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that the thing we most often try to rescue in others
Dialogue: 0,0:12:22.48,0:12:25.77,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,is the deepest wound, or the most extreme pain,
Dialogue: 0,0:12:25.83,0:12:27.25,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,in our own lives.
Dialogue: 0,0:12:27.45,0:12:29.35,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,A while back, I did a video
Dialogue: 0,0:12:29.40,0:12:33.27,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,called "Find your Negative Imprint - Find your Life Purpose".
Dialogue: 0,0:12:33.78,0:12:36.77,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,I encourage you to go watch that video again,
Dialogue: 0,0:12:36.97,0:12:39.78,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and to see what your negative imprint might be.
Dialogue: 0,0:12:39.85,0:12:40.66,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Once you find that,
Dialogue: 0,0:12:40.72,0:12:42.16,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,it can give you a good clue
Dialogue: 0,0:12:42.20,0:12:43.89,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,as to what you're trying to 'rescue'
Dialogue: 0,0:12:43.93,0:12:45.28,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,through your partners.
Dialogue: 0,0:12:46.23,0:12:47.40,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Once we become aware
Dialogue: 0,0:12:47.44,0:12:50.32,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,of what our real wound is in within ourselves,
Dialogue: 0,0:12:50.38,0:12:52.42,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,we can stop trying to heal it, vicariously,
Dialogue: 0,0:12:52.48,0:12:53.70,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,through the other person,
Dialogue: 0,0:12:53.78,0:12:56.74,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and we can focus on healing that within ourselves.
Dialogue: 0,0:12:56.81,0:12:57.31,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,For example -
Dialogue: 0,0:12:57.35,0:12:58.63,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The woman in the previous scenario
Dialogue: 0,0:12:58.66,0:13:01.28,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,could take steps to feel less lonely.
Dialogue: 0,0:13:01.67,0:13:04.36,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,She could also make different relationship decisions,
Dialogue: 0,0:13:04.39,0:13:06.94,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,so that she chooses men who make her feel
Dialogue: 0,0:13:06.97,0:13:08.65,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,as if she has a companion
Dialogue: 0,0:13:08.67,0:13:11.37,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,instead of men who are emotionally unavailable.
Dialogue: 0,0:13:11.56,0:13:12.74,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,The man in the previous scenario
Dialogue: 0,0:13:12.79,0:13:16.53,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,can change his life in ways that make him feel more stable.
Dialogue: 0,0:13:17.02,0:13:19.17,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,He could start to develop positivity
Dialogue: 0,0:13:19.24,0:13:22.05,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,and also develop self-confidence so that, eventually,
Dialogue: 0,0:13:22.11,0:13:24.33,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,he could feel a sense of his own significance.
Dialogue: 0,0:13:24.37,0:13:28.92,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Awareness causes Healing and Integration to occur spontaneously.
Dialogue: 0,0:13:29.24,0:13:31.71,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,So often, being aware of the wound within us
Dialogue: 0,0:13:31.76,0:13:33.94,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,is enough to increase our Frequency
Dialogue: 0,0:13:33.99,0:13:36.28,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,to the degree that we are no longer attracted
Dialogue: 0,0:13:36.35,0:13:39.02,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,to the people who mirror our wounds -
Dialogue: 0,0:13:39.19,0:13:41.60,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,that leads to better-feeling relationships.
Dialogue: 0,0:13:41.87,0:13:42.98,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,That being said,
Dialogue: 0,0:13:43.03,0:13:45.20,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,all that's left to ask is one question -
Dialogue: 0,0:13:45.56,0:13:49.20,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,What is within you, that is in need of rescue?
Dialogue: 0,0:13:49.74,0:13:50.89,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,Have a good week ...
Dialogue: 0,0:13:51.13,0:14:39.04,Default,,0000,0000,0000,,♪ Outtro Music ♪