1 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 When I was a child, I knew I had superpowers. 2 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 That’s right. 3 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 I thought I was absolutely amazing because I could understand and relate to 4 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 the feelings of brown people like my grandfather, a conservative Muslim guy, 5 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 and also I could understand my Afghan mother and Pakistani father, 6 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 not so religious but laid back, fairly liberal. 7 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 And of course I could understand and relate to the feelings of white people, 8 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 the white Norwegians of my country. 9 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 You know white, brown, whatever, I loved them all. 10 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 I understood them all even if they didn’t always understand each other 11 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 They were all my people. 12 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 My father though was always really worried. 13 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 He kept saying that, even with the best education 14 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 I was not going to get a fair shake, I would face discrimination, 15 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 according to him, and the only way to be accepted by white people 16 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 would be to become famous. 17 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 Now mind you, he had this conversation with me when I was seven years old. 18 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 So, while I’m seven years old he said 19 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 'Look, so its either got to be sports or its got to be music.' 20 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 He didn’t know anything about sports, bless him, so it was music. 21 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 So when I was seven years old he gathered al my toys, all my dolls, 22 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 and he threw them all away. 23 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 In exchange he gave me a crappy little Casio keyboard, and singing lessons, 24 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 and forced me to practice for hours and hours every single day. 25 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 Very quickly he also had me performing for larger and larger audiences, 26 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 bizarrely I became almost a poster child for Norwegian multiculturalism. 27 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 I felt very proud of course because even the newspapers at this point 28 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 were starting to write nice things about brown people, 29 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 so I could feel that my superpower was growing. 30 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 So when I was 12 years old walking home from school I took a little detour 31 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 because I wanted to buy my favourite sweets called 'salty feet'. 32 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 I know they sound kind of awful, but I absolutely loved them. 33 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 They are basically these little salty licorice bits, in the shape of feet. 34 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 And now that I say it out loud I realise how terrible that sounds, 35 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 but be that as it may, I absolutely loved them. 36 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 On my way into the store, there was this grown white guy in the doorway 37 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 blocking my way, so I tried to walk around him, and as I did that he stopped me, 38 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 and he was staring at me, and he spit in my face and he said 39 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 ‘Get out of my way you little black bitch, you little Paki bitch, get out of my - 40 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 go back home where you came from.’ I was absolutely horrified. 41 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 I was staring at him, I was too afraid to wipe the spit off my face, 42 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 even as it was mixing with my tears. I remember looking around, 43 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 hoping any minute now a grownup is going to come and make this guy stop. 44 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 But instead people kept hurrying past me and pretending not to see me. 45 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 I was very confused because I was thinking 46 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 ‘Well, my white people come on, where are they? What’s going on? 47 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 How come they’re not coming and rescuing me?’ 48 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 So needless to say I didn’t buy the sweets I just ran home as fast as I could. 49 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 Things were still ok though, I thought. 50 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 As time went on, the more successful I became, 51 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 I eventually started attracting harassment from brown people. 52 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 Some men in my parents community felt that it was unacceptable and dishonorable 53 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 for a woman to be involved in music, and to be so present in the media. 54 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 So very quickly I was starting to become attacked at my own concerts. 55 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 I remember one of the concerts, I was on stage, I lean in to the audience, 56 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 and the last thing I see is a young brown face, 57 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 and the next thing I know is some sort of chemical is thrown in my eyes. 58 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 And I remember I couldn’t really see, and my eyes were watering, 59 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 but I kept singing anyway. 60 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 I was spit in the face in the streets of Oslo, this time by brown men. 61 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 They even tried to kidnap me at one point. The death threats were endless. 62 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 I remember one older bearded guy stopped me in the street one time and said 63 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 ‘The reason I hate you so much is that you make our daughters think 64 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 they can do whatever they want.’ 65 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 A younger guy warned me to watch my back, he said 66 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 ‘Music is un-Islamic and the job of whores, 67 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 and if you keep this up you are going to be raped and your stomach will be cut out, 68 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 so that another whore like you will not be born.’ 69 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 Again I was so confused. I couldn’t understand what was going on, 70 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 my brown people now starting to treat me like this. 71 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 How come? Instead of bridging the two worlds, 72 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 I felt like I was falling between the two worlds. 73 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 I suppose for me, spit was kryptonite. 74 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 So by the time I was 17 years old the death threats were endless, 75 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 and the harassment was constant. 76 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 It got so bad at one point my mother sat me down and said 77 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 ‘Look, we can no longer protect you, we can no longer keep you safe, 78 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 so you’re going to have to go.’ 79 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 So I bought a one-way ticket to London. I packed my suitcase, and I left. 80 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 My biggest heartbreak at that point was that nobody said anything. 81 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 I had a very public exit from Norway. 82 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 My brown people, my white people, nobody said anything. 83 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 Nobody said ‘Hold on, this is wrong. 84 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 Support this girl, protect this girl because she is one of us.’ 85 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 Nobody said that. Instead I felt like, 86 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 you know at the airport, on the baggage carousel, 87 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 you have these different suitcases going round and round, 88 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 and there’s always that one suitcase left at the end. 89 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 The one that nobody wants. That nobody comes to claim. 90 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 I felt like that. I’d never felt so alone. I’d never felt so lost. 91 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 So, after coming to London, I did eventually resume my music career. 92 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 Different place, but unfortunately the same old story. 93 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 I remember a message sent to me saying that I was going to be killed, 94 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 and that rivers of blood were going to flow, 95 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 and that I was going to be raped many times before I died. 96 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 By this time I has to say I was actually getting used to messages like this. 97 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 But what became different was that now they started threatening my family. 98 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 So once again, I packed my suitcase, I left music, and I moved to the US. 99 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 I’d had enough. I didn’t want to have anything to do with this anymore. 100 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 And I wasn’t going to be killed for something that wasn’t even my dream, 101 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 it was my father’s choice. 102 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 So I kind of got lost, I kind of fell apart, 103 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 but I decided that what I wanted to do is 104 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 to spend the next however many years of my life supporting young people, 105 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 and to try to be there in some small way, whatever way that I could. 106 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 So I started volunteering for various organisations that were working 107 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 with young Muslims inside of Europe. 108 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 And, to my surprise what I found, was so many of these young people 109 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 were suffering and struggling. 110 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 They were facing so many problems with their families and their communities, 111 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 who seemed to care more about their honour and their reputation 112 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 than the happiness and the lives of their own kids. 113 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 I started feeling like maybe I wasn’t so alone, maybe I wasn’t so weird. 114 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 Maybe there are more of my people out there. 115 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 The thing is what most people don’t understand, 116 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 is that there are so many of us growing up in Europe 117 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 who are not free to be ourselves. We are not allowed to be who we are. 118 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 We are not free to marry, or to be in relationships with, people we choose, 119 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 we can’t even pick our own career. 120 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 This is the norm in the Muslim heartlands of Europe. 121 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 Even in the freest societies in the world, we are not free. 122 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 Our lives, our dreams, our future, does not belong to us, 123 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 it belongs to our parents, and their community. 124 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 I found endless stories of young people, who are lost to all of us, 125 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 Who are invisible to all of us, 126 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 but they are suffering and they are suffering alone. 127 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 Kids that we are losing to forced marriages, to honour based violence and abuse. 128 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 So eventually I realised, after several years of working with these young people, 129 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 that I will not be able to keep running, 130 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 I can’t spend the rest of my life being scared and hiding, 131 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 and that I’m actually going to have to do something. 132 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 And I also realised that my silence, our silence, 133 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 allows abuse like this to continue. 134 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 So I decided that I wanted to put my childhood superpower to some use, 135 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 by trying to make people on the different sides of these issues 136 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 understand what it's like to be a young person stuck 137 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 between your family and your country. 138 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 So I started making films, and I started telling these stories. 139 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 And I also wanted people to understand 140 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 the deadly consequences of us not taking these problems seriously. 141 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 So the first film I made was about Banaz. 142 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 She was a 17 year old Kurdish girl in London. 143 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 She was obedient, she did whatever her parents wanted. 144 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 She tried to do everything right. 145 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 She married some guy that her parent’s chose for her, 146 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 even though he beat and raped her constantly. 147 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 And when she tried to go to her family for help they said 148 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 ‘Well, you’ve got to go back and be a better wife.’ 149 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 Because they didn’t want a divorced daughter on their hands, 150 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 because of course, that would bring dishonor on the family. 151 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 She was beaten so badly her ears would bleed. 152 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 And when she finally left, and she found a young man that she chose, 153 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 and she fell in love with, the community and the family found out, 154 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 and she disappeared. She was found three months later. 155 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 She’d been stuffed into a suitcase, and buried underneath a house. 156 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 She had been strangled, she had been beaten to death, 157 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 by three men, three cousins, on the orders of her father and uncle. 158 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 The added tragedy of Banaz’s story, 159 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 story is that she had gone to the police in England five times asking for help. 160 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 Telling them that she was going to be killed by her family. 161 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 The police didn’t believe her, so they didn’t do anything. 162 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 And the problem with this, 163 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 is that not only are so many of our kids facing these problems, 164 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 within their families and within their families communities, 165 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 but they are also meeting misunderstanding and apathy 166 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 in the countries they grow up in. 167 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 When their own families betray them, they look to the rest of us. 168 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 And when we don’t understand, we lose them. 169 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 So while I was making this film, several people said to me 170 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 'Well, Deeyah, you know this is just their culture, 171 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 this is just what those people do to their kids and we can’t really interfere.’ 172 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 I can assure you, being murdered is not my culture. 173 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 And surely people who look like me, young women who come 174 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 from backgrounds like mine, should be subject to the same rights, 175 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 the same protections, as anybody else in our country. 176 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 Why not? 177 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 So, for my next film, I wanted to try and understand why 178 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 some of our young Muslim kids in Europe are drawn to extremism and violence. 179 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 But with that topic, also recognised 180 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 that I was going to have to face my worst fear. 181 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 The brown men with beards. 182 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 The same men, or similar men, to the ones that have hounded me for most of my life. 183 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 Men that I’ve been afraid of most of my life. 184 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 Men that I’ve also deeply disliked for many many years. 185 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 So I spent the next two years interviewing convicted terrorists, 186 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 jihadis and former extremists. 187 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 What I already knew, what was very obviously already, 188 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 was that religion, politics, Europe’s colonial baggage, 189 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 also Western foreign policy failures of recent years, 190 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 were all a part of the picture. 191 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 But what I was more interested in finding out, was what are the human, 192 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 what are the personal reasons why some of our young people 193 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 are susceptible to groups like this. 194 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 And what really surprised me, was that I found wounded human beings. 195 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 Instead of the monsters that I was looking for, that I was looking to find, 196 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 quite frankly because it would have been very satisfying, I found broken people. 197 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 Just like Banaz, I found that these young men were torn apart 198 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 from trying to bridge the gaps between their families, 199 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 and the countries that they were born in. 200 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 And what I also learnt is that extremist groups, terrorist groups, 201 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 are taking advantage of these feelings of our young people, 202 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 and channeling that cynically, channeling that towards violence. 203 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 ‘Come to us!’, they say. 204 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 ‘Reject both sides, your family and your country, because they reject you. 205 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 For your family, their honour is more important than you, 206 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 and for your country, a real Norwegian, Brit or a French person 207 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 will always be white and never you.’ 208 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 They are also promising our young people the things that they crave, 209 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 significance, heroism, a sense of belonging and purpose. 210 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 A community that loves and accepts them. They make the powerless feel powerful. 211 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 The invisible and the silent are finally seen and heard. 212 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 This is what they are doing for our young people. 213 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 Why are these groups doing this for our young people and not us? 214 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 The thing is, I’m not trying to justify or excuse any of the violence. 215 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 What I am trying to say, is that we have to understand 216 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 why some of our young people are attracted to this. 217 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 I would like to also show you, 218 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 these are childhood photos of some of the guys in the film. 219 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 What really struck me is that so many of them - I never would have thought this, 220 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 but so many of them have absent of abusive fathers. 221 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 And several of these young guys ended up 222 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 finding caring and compassionate father figures within these extremist groups. 223 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 I also found men brutalized by racist violence, 224 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 but who found a way to stop feeling like victims by becoming violent themselves. 225 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 In fact, I found something to my horror that I recognised. 226 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 I found the same feelings that I felt as a 17 year old, as I fled from Norway. 227 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 The same confusion, the same sorrow, the same feeling of being betrayed. 228 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 And not belonging to anyone. 229 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 The same feeling of being lost and torn between two cultures. 230 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 Having said that, I did not choose destruction, 231 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 I chose to pick up a camera, instead of a gun. 232 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 And the reason I did that, is because of my superpower, 233 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 I could see that understanding is the answer, instead of violence. 234 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 Seeing human beings, with all their virtues, and all their flaws, 235 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 instead of continuing the caricatures of us and them, the villains and victims. 236 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 I had also finally come to terms with the fact that my two cultures 237 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 didn’t have to be on a collision course, 238 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 but instead became a space where I found my own voice. 239 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 I stopped feeling like I had to pick a side. 240 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 But this took me many, many years. 241 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 There are so many of our young people today 242 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 who are struggling with these same issues, and they are struggling with this alone. 243 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 And this leaves them open like wounds. 244 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 And for some, the world view of radical Islam 245 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 becomes the infection that festers in these open wounds. 246 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 There’s an African proverb that says 247 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 ‘If the young are not initiated into the village, 248 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 they will burn it down just to feel its warmth.’ 249 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 I would like to ask to Muslim parents and Muslim communities, 250 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 will you love and care for your children, 251 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 without forcing them to meet your expectations? 252 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 Can you choose them, Instead of your honour? 253 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 Can you understand why they’re so angry and alienated, 254 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 when you put your honour before their happiness? 255 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 Can you try to be a friend to your child so that they can trust you, 256 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 and want to share with you their experiences, 257 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 rather than having to seek it somewhere else? 258 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 And to our young people, tempted by extremism, 259 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 can you acknowledge that your rage is fuelled by pain? 260 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 Will you find the strength to resist those cynical old men, 261 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 who want to use your blood for their own profits? 262 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 Can you find a way to live? 263 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 Can you see that the sweetest revenge is for you to live a happy, 264 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 full and free life, a life defined by you and nobody else? 265 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 Why do you want to become just another dead Muslim kid? 266 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 And for the rest of us, when will we start listening to our young people? 267 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 How can we support them in redirecting their pain 268 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 into something more constructive? 269 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 They think we don’t like them, they think we don’t care what happens to them. 270 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 They think we don’t accept them. 271 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 Can we find a way to make them feel differently? 272 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 What will it take for us to see them, and notice them, 273 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 before they become either the victims or the perpetrators of violence? 274 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 Can we make ourselves care about them, and consider them to be our own, 275 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 and not just be outraged when the victims of violence look like ourselves? 276 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 Can we find a way to reject hatred, and heal the divisions between us? 277 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 The thing, is we cannot afford to give up on each other, or on our kids, 278 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 even if they’ve given up on us. We are all in this together. 279 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 And in the long term, revenge and violence will not work against extremists. 280 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 Terrorists want us to huddle in our houses and fear, 281 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 closing our doors and our hearts. 282 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 They want us to tear open more wounds in our societies, 283 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 so that they can use them to spread their infection more widely. 284 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 They want us to become like them, intolerant, hateful and cruel. 285 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 The day after the Paris attacks, a friend of mine sent this photo of her daughter. 286 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 This is a white girl and an Arab girl. They’re best friends. 287 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 This image is the kryptonite for extremists. 288 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 These two little girls, with their superpowers, 289 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 are showing the way forward towards a society that we need to build together. 290 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 A society that includes, and supports, rather than rejects our kids. 291 99:59:59,999 --> 99:59:59,999 Thank you for listening.