0:00:12.296,0:00:15.616
When I was a child,[br]I knew I had superpowers.

0:00:18.016,0:00:19.232
That's right.

0:00:19.256,0:00:20.352
(Laughter)

0:00:20.376,0:00:24.392
I thought I was absolutely amazing[br]because I could understand

0:00:24.416,0:00:26.552
and relate to the feelings[br]of brown people,

0:00:26.576,0:00:29.976
like my grandfather,[br]a conservative Muslim guy.

0:00:30.456,0:00:35.352
And also, I could understand[br]my Afghan mother, my Pakistani father,

0:00:35.376,0:00:39.176
not so religious[br]but laid-back, fairly liberal.

0:00:39.776,0:00:41.392
And of course, I could understand

0:00:41.416,0:00:43.832
and relate to the feelings[br]of white people.

0:00:43.856,0:00:45.696
The white Norwegians of my country.

0:00:46.776,0:00:49.352
You know, white, brown, whatever --

0:00:49.376,0:00:51.192
I loved them all.

0:00:51.216,0:00:52.472
I understood them all,

0:00:52.496,0:00:54.832
even if they didn't always[br]understand each other;

0:00:54.856,0:00:56.096
they were all my people.

0:00:56.896,0:00:59.832
My father, though,[br]was always really worried.

0:00:59.856,0:01:03.192
He kept saying that[br]even with the best education,

0:01:03.216,0:01:06.392
I was not going to get a fair shake.

0:01:06.416,0:01:09.832
I would still face discrimination,[br]according to him.

0:01:09.856,0:01:12.672
And that the only way[br]to be accepted by white people

0:01:12.696,0:01:14.872
would be to become famous.

0:01:14.896,0:01:18.896
Now, mind you, he had this conversation[br]with me when I was seven years old.

0:01:19.736,0:01:22.712
So while I'm seven years old, he said,

0:01:22.736,0:01:26.112
"Look, so it's either got to be sports,[br]or it's got to be music."

0:01:26.136,0:01:30.592
He didn't know anything about sports --[br]bless him -- so it was music.

0:01:30.616,0:01:34.952
So when I was seven years old,[br]he gathered all my toys, all my dolls,

0:01:34.976,0:01:36.576
and he threw them all away.

0:01:37.456,0:01:41.312
In exchange he gave me[br]a crappy little Casio keyboard and --

0:01:41.336,0:01:42.552
(Laughter)

0:01:42.576,0:01:44.592
Yeah. And singing lessons.

0:01:44.616,0:01:49.392
And he forced me, basically, to practice[br]for hours and hours every single day.

0:01:49.416,0:01:53.672
Very quickly, he also had me performing[br]for larger and larger audiences,

0:01:53.696,0:01:57.472
and bizarrely, I became[br]almost a kind of poster child

0:01:57.496,0:01:59.576
for Norwegian multiculturalism.

0:02:00.056,0:02:01.792
I felt very proud, of course.

0:02:01.816,0:02:05.152
Because even the newspapers at this point

0:02:05.176,0:02:07.752
were starting to write[br]nice things about brown people,

0:02:07.776,0:02:10.936
so I could feel[br]that my superpower was growing.

0:02:12.256,0:02:15.232
So when I was 12 years old,[br]walking home from school,

0:02:15.256,0:02:16.472
I took a little detour,

0:02:16.496,0:02:19.962
because I wanted to buy[br]my favorite sweets called "salty feet."

0:02:19.986,0:02:21.472
I absolutely love them.

0:02:21.496,0:02:23.592
So on my way into the store,

0:02:23.616,0:02:28.152
there was this grown white guy[br]in the doorway blocking my way.

0:02:28.176,0:02:34.112
So I tried to walk around him,[br]and as I did that, he stopped me

0:02:34.136,0:02:35.936
and he was staring at me,

0:02:36.896,0:02:38.832
and he spit in my face, and he said,

0:02:38.856,0:02:40.072
"Get out of my way

0:02:40.096,0:02:43.352
you little black bitch,[br]you little Paki bitch,

0:02:43.376,0:02:45.296
go back home where you came from."

0:02:46.296,0:02:49.392
I was absolutely horrified.

0:02:49.416,0:02:50.712
I was staring at him.

0:02:50.736,0:02:53.656
I was too afraid[br]to wipe the spit off my face,

0:02:54.536,0:02:56.672
even as it was mixing with my tears.

0:02:56.696,0:03:00.392
I remember looking around,[br]hoping that any minute now,

0:03:00.416,0:03:04.072
a grown-up is going to come[br]and make this guy stop.

0:03:04.096,0:03:08.416
But instead, people kept hurrying past me[br]and pretended not to see me.

0:03:08.856,0:03:12.456
I was very confused[br]because I was thinking, well,

0:03:13.336,0:03:16.632
"My white people, come on![br]Where are they? What's going on?

0:03:16.656,0:03:18.836
How come they're not[br]coming and rescuing me?"

0:03:19.456,0:03:21.712
So, needless to say,[br]I didn't buy the sweets.

0:03:21.736,0:03:23.856
I just ran home as fast as I could.

0:03:24.736,0:03:26.816
Things were still OK, though, I thought.

0:03:27.496,0:03:30.592
As time went on,[br]the more successful I became,

0:03:30.616,0:03:34.736
I eventually started also attracting[br]harassment from brown people.

0:03:36.216,0:03:39.512
Some men in my parent's community[br]felt that it was unacceptable

0:03:39.536,0:03:44.392
and dishonorable for a woman[br]to be involved in music

0:03:44.416,0:03:46.376
and to be so present in the media.

0:03:48.076,0:03:53.492
So very quickly, I was starting[br]to become attacked at my own concerts.

0:03:53.516,0:03:58.532
I remember one of the concerts,[br]I was onstage, I lean into the audience

0:03:58.556,0:04:01.812
and the last thing I see[br]is a young brown face,

0:04:01.836,0:04:06.052
and the next thing I know is some sort[br]of chemical is thrown in my eyes

0:04:06.076,0:04:09.292
and I remember I couldn't really see[br]and my eyes were watering

0:04:09.316,0:04:10.916
but I kept singing anyway.

0:04:11.635,0:04:16.356
I was spit in the face in the streets[br]of Oslo, this time by brown men.

0:04:17.156,0:04:20.372
They even tried to kidnap me at one point.

0:04:20.396,0:04:22.452
The death threats were endless.

0:04:22.476,0:04:25.732
I remember one older bearded guy[br]stopped me in the street one time,

0:04:25.756,0:04:27.892
and he said, "The reason[br]I hate you so much

0:04:27.916,0:04:29.972
is because you make our daughters think

0:04:29.996,0:04:31.556
they can do whatever they want."

0:04:33.356,0:04:36.172
A younger guy warned me to watch my back.

0:04:36.196,0:04:39.212
He said music is un-Islamic[br]and the job of whores,

0:04:39.236,0:04:41.972
and if you keep this up,[br]you are going to be raped

0:04:41.996,0:04:46.676
and your stomach will be cut out so that[br]another whore like you will not be born.

0:04:48.356,0:04:50.052
Again, I was so confused.

0:04:50.076,0:04:51.981
I couldn't understand what was going on.

0:04:52.005,0:04:55.685
My brown people now starting[br]to treat me like this -- how come?

0:04:56.356,0:04:59.452
Instead of bridging the worlds,[br]the two worlds,

0:04:59.476,0:05:02.476
I felt like I was falling[br]between my two worlds.

0:05:02.796,0:05:05.396
I suppose, for me, spit was kryptonite.

0:05:07.356,0:05:09.372
So by the time I was 17 years old,

0:05:09.396,0:05:12.412
the death threats were endless,[br]and the harassment was constant.

0:05:12.436,0:05:15.198
It got so bad, at one point[br]my mother sat me down and said,

0:05:15.222,0:05:18.692
"Look, we can no longer protect you,[br]we can no longer keep you safe,

0:05:18.716,0:05:20.492
so you're going to have to go."

0:05:20.516,0:05:25.916
So I bought a one-way ticket to London,[br]I packed my suitcase and I left.

0:05:26.956,0:05:30.652
My biggest heartbreak at that point[br]was that nobody said anything.

0:05:30.676,0:05:33.036
I had a very public exit from Norway.

0:05:33.916,0:05:37.452
My brown people, my white people --[br]nobody said anything.

0:05:37.476,0:05:39.596
Nobody said, "Hold on, this is wrong.

0:05:40.756,0:05:44.452
Support this girl, protect this girl,[br]because she is one of us."

0:05:44.476,0:05:46.092
Nobody said that.

0:05:46.116,0:05:49.156
Instead, I felt like --[br]you know at the airport,

0:05:49.916,0:05:52.772
on the baggage carousel[br]you have these different suitcases

0:05:52.796,0:05:54.052
going around and around,

0:05:54.076,0:05:56.572
and there's always[br]that one suitcase left at the end,

0:05:56.596,0:05:59.612
the one that nobody wants,[br]the one that nobody comes to claim.

0:05:59.636,0:06:00.916
I felt like that.

0:06:01.836,0:06:05.236
I'd never felt so alone.[br]I'd never felt so lost.

0:06:07.156,0:06:11.156
So, after coming to London,[br]I did eventually resume my music career.

0:06:11.796,0:06:14.996
Different place, but unfortunately[br]the same old story.

0:06:15.636,0:06:19.172
I remember a message sent to me[br]saying that I was going to be killed

0:06:19.196,0:06:22.572
and that rivers of blood[br]were going to flow

0:06:22.596,0:06:26.052
and that I was going to be raped[br]many times before I died.

0:06:26.076,0:06:27.492
By this point, I have to say,

0:06:27.516,0:06:29.972
I was actually getting used[br]to messages like this,

0:06:29.996,0:06:34.276
but what became different was that[br]now they started threatening my family.

0:06:35.556,0:06:40.796
So once again, I packed my suitcase,[br]I left music and I moved to the US.

0:06:41.316,0:06:42.572
I'd had enough.

0:06:42.596,0:06:45.212
I didn't want to have anything[br]to do with this anymore.

0:06:45.236,0:06:47.892
And I was certainly not[br]going to be killed for something

0:06:47.916,0:06:50.596
that wasn't even my dream --[br]it was my father's choice.

0:06:52.996,0:06:56.172
So I kind of got lost.

0:06:56.196,0:06:57.732
I kind of fell apart.

0:06:57.756,0:07:00.092
But I decided that what I wanted to do

0:07:00.116,0:07:03.452
is spend the next[br]however many years of my life

0:07:03.476,0:07:05.132
supporting young people

0:07:05.156,0:07:08.052
and to try to be there in some small way,

0:07:08.076,0:07:09.772
whatever way that I could.

0:07:09.796,0:07:13.052
I started volunteering[br]for various organizations

0:07:13.076,0:07:17.716
that were working[br]with young Muslims inside of Europe.

0:07:18.876,0:07:21.892
And, to my surprise, what I found was

0:07:21.916,0:07:26.396
so many of these young people[br]were suffering and struggling.

0:07:27.236,0:07:30.772
They were facing so many problems[br]with their families and their communities

0:07:30.796,0:07:34.412
who seemed to care more[br]about their honor and their reputation

0:07:34.436,0:07:37.196
than the happiness[br]and the lives of their own kids.

0:07:38.556,0:07:42.556
I started feeling like maybe I wasn't[br]so alone, maybe I wasn't so weird.

0:07:43.076,0:07:45.396
Maybe there are more[br]of my people out there.

0:07:46.076,0:07:48.292
The thing is, what most people[br]don't understand

0:07:48.316,0:07:52.612
is that there are so many of us[br]growing up in Europe

0:07:52.636,0:07:55.052
who are not free to be ourselves.

0:07:55.076,0:07:57.156
We're not allowed to be who we are.

0:07:58.156,0:08:02.212
We are not free to marry

0:08:02.236,0:08:05.172
or to be in relationships[br]with people that we choose.

0:08:05.196,0:08:06.852
We can't even pick our own career.

0:08:06.876,0:08:10.652
This is the norm in the Muslim[br]heartlands of Europe.

0:08:10.676,0:08:13.756
Even in the freest societies[br]in the world, we're not free.

0:08:14.436,0:08:18.332
Our lives, our dreams, our future[br]does not belong to us,

0:08:18.356,0:08:21.612
it belongs to our parents[br]and their community.

0:08:21.636,0:08:24.716
I found endless stories of young people

0:08:25.676,0:08:28.571
who are lost to all of us,

0:08:28.595,0:08:30.331
who are invisible to all of us

0:08:30.355,0:08:33.156
but who are suffering,[br]and they are suffering alone.

0:08:34.316,0:08:38.636
Kids we are losing to forced marriages,[br]to honor-based violence and abuse.

0:08:40.076,0:08:43.772
Eventually, I realized after several[br]years of working with these young people,

0:08:43.796,0:08:45.812
that I will not be able to keep running.

0:08:45.836,0:08:50.492
I can't spend the rest of my life[br]being scared and hiding

0:08:50.516,0:08:52.956
and that I'm actually[br]going to have to do something.

0:08:54.436,0:08:57.532
And I also realized[br]that my silence, our silence,

0:08:57.556,0:08:59.876
allows abuse like this to continue.

0:09:00.796,0:09:05.292
So I decided that I wanted to put[br]my childhood superpower to some use

0:09:05.316,0:09:10.012
by trying to make people on the different[br]sides of these issues understand

0:09:10.036,0:09:15.156
what it's like to be a young person stuck[br]between your family and your country.

0:09:15.756,0:09:19.276
So I started making films,[br]and I started telling these stories.

0:09:19.676,0:09:24.092
And I also wanted people to understand[br]the deadly consequences of us

0:09:24.116,0:09:26.196
not taking these problems seriously.

0:09:26.796,0:09:29.156
So the first film I made was about Banaz.

0:09:29.836,0:09:33.076
She was a 17-year-old[br]Kurdish girl in London.

0:09:33.916,0:09:36.716
She was obedient, she did[br]whatever her parents wanted.

0:09:37.236,0:09:39.652
She tried to do everything right.

0:09:39.676,0:09:42.292
She married some guy[br]that her parents chose for her,

0:09:42.316,0:09:45.276
even though he beat[br]and raped her constantly.

0:09:46.276,0:09:49.092
And when she tried to go[br]to her family for help, they said,

0:09:49.116,0:09:51.372
"Well, you got to go back[br]and be a better wife."

0:09:51.396,0:09:54.212
Because they didn't want[br]a divorced daughter on their hands

0:09:54.236,0:09:57.196
because, of course,[br]that would bring dishonor on the family.

0:09:58.076,0:10:00.676
She was beaten so badly[br]her ears would bleed,

0:10:01.596,0:10:06.692
and when she finally left[br]and she found a young man that she chose

0:10:06.716,0:10:08.532
and she fell in love with,

0:10:08.556,0:10:10.812
the community and the family found out

0:10:10.836,0:10:11.986
and she disappeared.

0:10:13.736,0:10:15.576
She was found three months later.

0:10:16.496,0:10:20.616
She'd been stuffed into a suitcase[br]and buried underneath the house.

0:10:25.116,0:10:28.636
She had been strangled,[br]she had been beaten to death

0:10:30.236,0:10:34.756
by three men, three cousins,[br]on the orders of her father and uncle.

0:10:35.436,0:10:37.612
The added tragedy of Banaz's story

0:10:37.636,0:10:43.532
is that she had gone to the police[br]in England five times asking for help,

0:10:43.556,0:10:46.612
telling them that she was[br]going to be killed by her family.

0:10:46.636,0:10:49.516
The police didn't believe her[br]so they didn't do anything.

0:10:50.556,0:10:51.812
And the problem with this

0:10:51.836,0:10:56.212
is that not only are so many of our kids[br]facing these problems

0:10:56.236,0:10:59.332
within their families[br]and within their families' communities,

0:10:59.356,0:11:02.996
but they're also meeting misunderstandings

0:11:04.116,0:11:07.636
and apathy in the countries[br]that they grow up in.

0:11:09.166,0:11:13.862
When their own families betray them,[br]they look to the rest of us,

0:11:13.886,0:11:15.942
and when we don't understand,

0:11:15.966,0:11:17.166
we lose them.

0:11:18.646,0:11:21.822
So while I was making this film,[br]several people said to me,

0:11:21.846,0:11:24.382
"Well, Deeyah, you know,[br]this is just their culture,

0:11:24.406,0:11:26.597
this is just what those people[br]do to their kids

0:11:26.621,0:11:28.181
and we can't really interfere."

0:11:29.406,0:11:32.606
I can assure you[br]being murdered is not my culture.

0:11:33.806,0:11:35.022
You know?

0:11:35.046,0:11:36.742
And surely people who look like me,

0:11:36.766,0:11:39.262
young women who come[br]from backgrounds like me,

0:11:39.286,0:11:43.382
should be subject to the same rights,[br]the same protections

0:11:43.406,0:11:46.406
as anybody else in our country, why not?

0:11:47.886,0:11:52.622
So, for my next film,[br]I wanted to try and understand

0:11:52.646,0:11:55.502
why some of our young[br]Muslim kids in Europe

0:11:55.526,0:11:57.606
are drawn to extremism and violence.

0:11:58.406,0:11:59.662
But with that topic,

0:11:59.686,0:12:02.846
I also recognized that I was going[br]to have to face my worst fear:

0:12:04.566,0:12:06.166
the brown men with beards.

0:12:08.206,0:12:12.396
Similar men to the ones that have[br]hounded me for most of my life.

0:12:13.286,0:12:15.982
Men that I've been afraid of[br]most of my life.

0:12:16.006,0:12:18.862
Men that I've also deeply disliked,

0:12:18.886,0:12:20.326
for many, many years.

0:12:20.886,0:12:24.862
So I spent the next two years[br]interviewing convicted terrorists,

0:12:24.886,0:12:27.382
jihadis and former extremists.

0:12:27.406,0:12:30.742
What I already knew,[br]what was very obvious already,

0:12:30.766,0:12:35.942
was that religion, politics,[br]Europe's colonial baggage,

0:12:35.966,0:12:40.222
also Western foreign policy[br]failures of recent years,

0:12:40.246,0:12:41.726
were all a part of the picture.

0:12:42.246,0:12:45.502
But what I was more interested[br]in finding out was what are the human,

0:12:45.526,0:12:47.102
what are the personal reasons

0:12:47.126,0:12:51.446
why some of our young people[br]are susceptible to groups like this.

0:12:52.726,0:12:57.086
And what really surprised me[br]was that I found wounded human beings.

0:12:59.486,0:13:01.942
Instead of the monsters[br]that I was looking for,

0:13:01.966,0:13:03.342
that I was hoping to find --

0:13:03.366,0:13:06.502
quite frankly because[br]it would have been very satisfying --

0:13:06.526,0:13:08.126
I found broken people.

0:13:09.246,0:13:10.742
Just like Banaz,

0:13:10.766,0:13:14.022
I found that these young men[br]were torn apart

0:13:14.046,0:13:16.582
from trying to bridge the gaps

0:13:16.606,0:13:20.086
between their families[br]and the countries that they were born in.

0:13:21.446,0:13:24.822
And what I also learned[br]is that extremist groups, terrorist groups

0:13:24.846,0:13:28.302
are taking advantage[br]of these feelings of our young people

0:13:28.326,0:13:32.182
and channeling that -- cynically --[br]channeling that toward violence.

0:13:32.206,0:13:33.782
"Come to us," they say.

0:13:33.806,0:13:36.782
"Reject both sides,[br]your family and your country

0:13:36.806,0:13:38.462
because they reject you.

0:13:38.486,0:13:41.582
For your family, their honor[br]is more important than you

0:13:41.606,0:13:42.862
and for your country,

0:13:42.886,0:13:48.766
a real Norwegian, Brit or a French person[br]will always be white and never you."

0:13:49.766,0:13:53.222
They're also promising our young people[br]the things that they crave:

0:13:53.246,0:13:57.582
significance, heroism,[br]a sense of belonging and purpose,

0:13:57.606,0:14:00.006
a community that loves and accepts them.

0:14:00.926,0:14:03.862
They make the powerless feel powerful.

0:14:03.886,0:14:08.766
The invisible and the silent[br]are finally seen and heard.

0:14:11.746,0:14:14.282
This is what they're doing[br]for our young people.

0:14:14.306,0:14:18.146
Why are these groups doing this[br]for our young people and not us?

0:14:20.686,0:14:22.262
The thing is,

0:14:22.286,0:14:25.622
I'm not trying to justify

0:14:25.646,0:14:29.382
or excuse any of the violence.

0:14:29.406,0:14:32.982
What I am trying to say[br]is that we have to understand

0:14:33.006,0:14:36.166
why some of our young people[br]are attracted to this.

0:14:37.606,0:14:39.942
I would like to also show you, actually --

0:14:39.966,0:14:43.246
these are childhood photos[br]of some of the guys in the film.

0:14:45.466,0:14:48.426
What really struck me[br]is that so many of them --

0:14:49.186,0:14:50.842
I never would have thought this --

0:14:50.866,0:14:54.186
but so many of them[br]have absent or abusive fathers.

0:14:55.026,0:14:56.962
And several of these young guys

0:14:56.986,0:15:01.122
ended up finding caring[br]and compassionate father figures

0:15:01.146,0:15:02.746
within these extremist groups.

0:15:05.346,0:15:08.506
I also found men[br]brutalized by racist violence,

0:15:09.226,0:15:11.482
but who found a way[br]to stop feeling like victims

0:15:11.506,0:15:13.002
by becoming violent themselves.

0:15:13.026,0:15:18.322
In fact, I found something,[br]to my horror, that I recognized.

0:15:18.346,0:15:24.666
I found the same feelings that I felt[br]as a 17-year-old as I fled from Norway.

0:15:25.586,0:15:28.962
The same confusion, the same sorrow,

0:15:28.986,0:15:32.466
the same feeling of being betrayed

0:15:34.137,0:15:35.737
and not belonging to anyone.

0:15:38.656,0:15:41.776
The same feeling of being lost[br]and torn between cultures.

0:15:42.856,0:15:45.392
Having said that,[br]I did not choose destruction,

0:15:45.416,0:15:48.152
I chose to pick up a camera[br]instead of a gun.

0:15:48.176,0:15:51.512
And the reason I did that[br]is because of my superpower.

0:15:51.536,0:15:56.432
I could see that understanding[br]is the answer, instead of violence.

0:15:56.456,0:15:58.152
Seeing human beings

0:15:58.176,0:16:01.912
with all their virtues and all their flaws

0:16:01.936,0:16:03.792
instead of continuing the caricatures:

0:16:03.816,0:16:06.472
the us and them, the villains and victims.

0:16:06.496,0:16:08.592
I'd also finally[br]come to terms with the fact

0:16:08.616,0:16:12.272
that my two cultures[br]didn't have to be on a collision course

0:16:12.296,0:16:15.416
but instead became a space[br]where I found my own voice.

0:16:15.936,0:16:18.672
I stopped feeling[br]like I had to pick a side,

0:16:18.696,0:16:20.776
but this took me many, many years.

0:16:21.736,0:16:23.752
There are so many[br]of our young people today

0:16:23.776,0:16:25.792
who are struggling with these same issues,

0:16:25.816,0:16:27.816
and they're struggling with this alone.

0:16:29.536,0:16:32.176
And this leaves them open like wounds.

0:16:32.656,0:16:35.712
And for some, the worldview[br]of radical Islam

0:16:35.736,0:16:39.096
becomes the infection[br]that festers in these open wounds.

0:16:41.208,0:16:44.433
There's an African proverb that says,

0:16:46.056,0:16:49.072
"If the young are not[br]initiated into the village,

0:16:49.096,0:16:51.856
they will burn it down[br]just to feel its warmth."

0:16:53.336,0:16:54.816
I would like to ask --

0:16:55.736,0:16:58.272
to Muslim parents and Muslim communities,

0:16:58.296,0:17:00.712
will you love and care for your children

0:17:00.736,0:17:03.512
without forcing them[br]to meet your expectations?

0:17:03.536,0:17:05.976
Can you choose them instead of your honor?

0:17:06.496,0:17:09.512
Can you understand[br]why they're so angry and alienated

0:17:09.536,0:17:11.856
when you put your honor[br]before their happiness?

0:17:12.616,0:17:15.191
Can you try to be a friend to your child

0:17:15.215,0:17:16.992
so that they can trust you

0:17:17.016,0:17:19.312
and want to share with you[br]their experiences,

0:17:19.336,0:17:21.576
rather than having[br]to seek it somewhere else?

0:17:22.455,0:17:25.536
And to our young people[br]tempted by extremism,

0:17:26.720,0:17:30.360
can you acknowledge[br]that your rage is fueled by pain?

0:17:31.736,0:17:35.152
Will you find the strength[br]to resist those cynical old men

0:17:35.176,0:17:38.376
who want to use your blood[br]for their own profits?

0:17:39.136,0:17:41.056
Can you find a way to live?

0:17:41.976,0:17:44.232
Can you see that the sweetest revenge

0:17:44.256,0:17:47.712
is for you to live[br]a happy, full and free life?

0:17:47.736,0:17:50.096
A life defined by you and nobody else.

0:17:50.656,0:17:54.336
Why do you want to become[br]just another dead Muslim kid?

0:17:55.176,0:17:59.336
And for the rest of us, when will we start[br]listening to our young people?

0:18:00.616,0:18:01.872
How can we support them

0:18:01.896,0:18:05.856
in redirecting their pain[br]into something more constructive?

0:18:06.856,0:18:08.312
They think we don't like them.

0:18:08.336,0:18:11.112
They think we don't care[br]what happens to them.

0:18:11.136,0:18:12.912
They think we don't accept them.

0:18:12.936,0:18:15.656
Can we find a way[br]to make them feel differently?

0:18:17.376,0:18:20.312
What will it take for us[br]to see them and notice them

0:18:20.336,0:18:25.272
before they become either the victims[br]or the perpetrators of violence?

0:18:25.296,0:18:28.872
Can we make ourselves care about them[br]and consider them to be our own?

0:18:28.896,0:18:33.752
And not just be outraged when the victims[br]of violence look like ourselves?

0:18:33.776,0:18:38.792
Can we find a way to reject hatred[br]and heal the divisions between us?

0:18:38.816,0:18:42.792
The thing is we cannot afford[br]to give up on each other or on our kids,

0:18:42.816,0:18:44.952
even if they've given up on us.

0:18:44.976,0:18:47.152
We are all in this together.

0:18:47.176,0:18:52.656
And in the long term, revenge and violence[br]will not work against extremists.

0:18:53.576,0:18:57.352
Terrorists want us[br]to huddle in our houses in fear,

0:18:57.376,0:18:59.552
closing our doors and our hearts.

0:18:59.576,0:19:03.392
They want us to tear open[br]more wounds in our societies

0:19:03.416,0:19:06.952
so that they can use them[br]to spread their infection more widely.

0:19:06.976,0:19:09.672
They want us to become like them:

0:19:09.696,0:19:11.936
intolerant, hateful and cruel.

0:19:14.296,0:19:16.752
The day after the Paris attacks,

0:19:16.776,0:19:20.176
a friend of mine[br]sent this photo of her daughter.

0:19:20.896,0:19:23.352
This is a white girl and an Arab girl.

0:19:23.376,0:19:24.576
They're best friends.

0:19:25.216,0:19:28.696
This image is the kryptonite[br]for extremists.

0:19:31.336,0:19:34.392
These two little girls[br]with their superpowers

0:19:34.416,0:19:35.912
are showing the way forward

0:19:35.936,0:19:39.336
towards a society[br]that we need to build together,

0:19:40.216,0:19:43.536
a society that includes and supports,

0:19:44.576,0:19:46.776
rather than rejects our kids.

0:19:48.056,0:19:49.392
Thank you for listening.

0:19:49.416,0:19:56.416
(Applause)