WEBVTT 00:00:12.296 --> 00:00:15.616 When I was a child, I knew I had superpowers. 00:00:18.016 --> 00:00:19.232 That's right. NOTE Paragraph 00:00:19.256 --> 00:00:20.352 (Laughter) NOTE Paragraph 00:00:20.376 --> 00:00:24.392 I thought I was absolutely amazing because I could understand 00:00:24.416 --> 00:00:26.552 and relate to the feelings of brown people, 00:00:26.576 --> 00:00:29.976 like my grandfather, a conservative Muslim guy. 00:00:30.456 --> 00:00:35.352 And also, I could understand my Afghan mother, my Pakistani father, 00:00:35.376 --> 00:00:39.176 not so religious but laid-back, fairly liberal. 00:00:39.776 --> 00:00:41.392 And of course, I could understand 00:00:41.416 --> 00:00:43.832 and relate to the feelings of white people. 00:00:43.856 --> 00:00:45.696 The white Norwegians of my country. 00:00:46.776 --> 00:00:49.352 You know, white, brown, whatever -- 00:00:49.376 --> 00:00:51.192 I loved them all. 00:00:51.216 --> 00:00:52.472 I understood them all, 00:00:52.496 --> 00:00:54.832 even if they didn't always understand each other; 00:00:54.856 --> 00:00:56.096 they were all my people. NOTE Paragraph 00:00:56.896 --> 00:00:59.832 My father, though, was always really worried. 00:00:59.856 --> 00:01:03.192 He kept saying that even with the best education, 00:01:03.216 --> 00:01:06.392 I was not going to get a fair shake. 00:01:06.416 --> 00:01:09.832 I would still face discrimination, according to him. 00:01:09.856 --> 00:01:12.672 And that the only way to be accepted by white people 00:01:12.696 --> 00:01:14.872 would be to become famous. 00:01:14.896 --> 00:01:18.896 Now, mind you, he had this conversation with me when I was seven years old. 00:01:19.736 --> 00:01:22.712 So while I'm seven years old, he said, 00:01:22.736 --> 00:01:26.112 "Look, so it's either got to be sports, or it's got to be music." 00:01:26.136 --> 00:01:30.592 He didn't know anything about sports -- bless him -- so it was music. 00:01:30.616 --> 00:01:34.952 So when I was seven years old, he gathered all my toys, all my dolls, 00:01:34.976 --> 00:01:36.576 and he threw them all away. 00:01:37.456 --> 00:01:41.312 In exchange he gave me a crappy little Casio keyboard and -- NOTE Paragraph 00:01:41.336 --> 00:01:42.552 (Laughter) NOTE Paragraph 00:01:42.576 --> 00:01:44.592 Yeah. And singing lessons. 00:01:44.616 --> 00:01:49.392 And he forced me, basically, to practice for hours and hours every single day. 00:01:49.416 --> 00:01:53.672 Very quickly, he also had me performing for larger and larger audiences, 00:01:53.696 --> 00:01:57.472 and bizarrely, I became almost a kind of poster child 00:01:57.496 --> 00:01:59.576 for Norwegian multiculturalism. 00:02:00.056 --> 00:02:01.792 I felt very proud, of course. 00:02:01.816 --> 00:02:05.152 Because even the newspapers at this point 00:02:05.176 --> 00:02:07.752 were starting to write nice things about brown people, 00:02:07.776 --> 00:02:10.936 so I could feel that my superpower was growing. NOTE Paragraph 00:02:12.256 --> 00:02:15.232 So when I was 12 years old, walking home from school, 00:02:15.256 --> 00:02:16.472 I took a little detour, 00:02:16.496 --> 00:02:19.962 because I wanted to buy my favorite sweets called "salty feet." 00:02:19.986 --> 00:02:21.472 I absolutely love them. 00:02:21.496 --> 00:02:23.592 So on my way into the store, 00:02:23.616 --> 00:02:28.152 there was this grown white guy in the doorway blocking my way. 00:02:28.176 --> 00:02:34.112 So I tried to walk around him, and as I did that, he stopped me 00:02:34.136 --> 00:02:35.936 and he was staring at me, 00:02:36.896 --> 00:02:38.832 and he spit in my face, and he said, 00:02:38.856 --> 00:02:40.072 "Get out of my way 00:02:40.096 --> 00:02:43.352 you little black bitch, you little Paki bitch, 00:02:43.376 --> 00:02:45.296 go back home where you came from." 00:02:46.296 --> 00:02:49.392 I was absolutely horrified. 00:02:49.416 --> 00:02:50.712 I was staring at him. 00:02:50.736 --> 00:02:53.656 I was too afraid to wipe the spit off my face, 00:02:54.536 --> 00:02:56.672 even as it was mixing with my tears. 00:02:56.696 --> 00:03:00.392 I remember looking around, hoping that any minute now, 00:03:00.416 --> 00:03:04.072 a grown-up is going to come and make this guy stop. 00:03:04.096 --> 00:03:08.416 But instead, people kept hurrying past me and pretended not to see me. 00:03:08.856 --> 00:03:12.456 I was very confused because I was thinking, well, 00:03:13.336 --> 00:03:16.632 "My white people, come on! Where are they? What's going on? 00:03:16.656 --> 00:03:18.836 How come they're not coming and rescuing me?" 00:03:19.456 --> 00:03:21.712 So, needless to say, I didn't buy the sweets. 00:03:21.736 --> 00:03:23.856 I just ran home as fast as I could. NOTE Paragraph 00:03:24.736 --> 00:03:26.816 Things were still OK, though, I thought. 00:03:27.496 --> 00:03:30.592 As time went on, the more successful I became, 00:03:30.616 --> 00:03:34.736 I eventually started also attracting harassment from brown people. 00:03:36.216 --> 00:03:39.512 Some men in my parent's community felt that it was unacceptable 00:03:39.536 --> 00:03:44.392 and dishonorable for a woman to be involved in music 00:03:44.416 --> 00:03:46.376 and to be so present in the media. 00:03:48.076 --> 00:03:53.492 So very quickly, I was starting to become attacked at my own concerts. 00:03:53.516 --> 00:03:58.532 I remember one of the concerts, I was onstage, I lean into the audience 00:03:58.556 --> 00:04:01.812 and the last thing I see is a young brown face, 00:04:01.836 --> 00:04:06.052 and the next thing I know is some sort of chemical is thrown in my eyes 00:04:06.076 --> 00:04:09.292 and I remember I couldn't really see and my eyes were watering 00:04:09.316 --> 00:04:10.916 but I kept singing anyway. 00:04:11.635 --> 00:04:16.356 I was spit in the face in the streets of Oslo, this time by brown men. 00:04:17.156 --> 00:04:20.372 They even tried to kidnap me at one point. 00:04:20.396 --> 00:04:22.452 The death threats were endless. 00:04:22.476 --> 00:04:25.732 I remember one older bearded guy stopped me in the street one time, 00:04:25.756 --> 00:04:27.892 and he said, "The reason I hate you so much 00:04:27.916 --> 00:04:29.972 is because you make our daughters think 00:04:29.996 --> 00:04:31.556 they can do whatever they want." 00:04:33.356 --> 00:04:36.172 A younger guy warned me to watch my back. 00:04:36.196 --> 00:04:39.212 He said music is un-Islamic and the job of whores, 00:04:39.236 --> 00:04:41.972 and if you keep this up, you are going to be raped 00:04:41.996 --> 00:04:46.676 and your stomach will be cut out so that another whore like you will not be born. NOTE Paragraph 00:04:48.356 --> 00:04:50.052 Again, I was so confused. 00:04:50.076 --> 00:04:51.981 I couldn't understand what was going on. 00:04:52.005 --> 00:04:55.685 My brown people now starting to treat me like this -- how come? 00:04:56.356 --> 00:04:59.452 Instead of bridging the worlds, the two worlds, 00:04:59.476 --> 00:05:02.476 I felt like I was falling between my two worlds. 00:05:02.796 --> 00:05:05.396 I suppose, for me, spit was kryptonite. NOTE Paragraph 00:05:07.356 --> 00:05:09.372 So by the time I was 17 years old, 00:05:09.396 --> 00:05:12.412 the death threats were endless, and the harassment was constant. 00:05:12.436 --> 00:05:15.198 It got so bad, at one point my mother sat me down and said, 00:05:15.222 --> 00:05:18.692 "Look, we can no longer protect you, we can no longer keep you safe, 00:05:18.716 --> 00:05:20.492 so you're going to have to go." 00:05:20.516 --> 00:05:25.916 So I bought a one-way ticket to London, I packed my suitcase and I left. 00:05:26.956 --> 00:05:30.652 My biggest heartbreak at that point was that nobody said anything. 00:05:30.676 --> 00:05:33.036 I had a very public exit from Norway. 00:05:33.916 --> 00:05:37.452 My brown people, my white people -- nobody said anything. 00:05:37.476 --> 00:05:39.596 Nobody said, "Hold on, this is wrong. 00:05:40.756 --> 00:05:44.452 Support this girl, protect this girl, because she is one of us." 00:05:44.476 --> 00:05:46.092 Nobody said that. 00:05:46.116 --> 00:05:49.156 Instead, I felt like -- you know at the airport, 00:05:49.916 --> 00:05:52.772 on the baggage carousel you have these different suitcases 00:05:52.796 --> 00:05:54.052 going around and around, 00:05:54.076 --> 00:05:56.572 and there's always that one suitcase left at the end, 00:05:56.596 --> 00:05:59.612 the one that nobody wants, the one that nobody comes to claim. 00:05:59.636 --> 00:06:00.916 I felt like that. 00:06:01.836 --> 00:06:05.236 I'd never felt so alone. I'd never felt so lost. NOTE Paragraph 00:06:07.156 --> 00:06:11.156 So, after coming to London, I did eventually resume my music career. 00:06:11.796 --> 00:06:14.996 Different place, but unfortunately the same old story. 00:06:15.636 --> 00:06:19.172 I remember a message sent to me saying that I was going to be killed 00:06:19.196 --> 00:06:22.572 and that rivers of blood were going to flow 00:06:22.596 --> 00:06:26.052 and that I was going to be raped many times before I died. 00:06:26.076 --> 00:06:27.492 By this point, I have to say, 00:06:27.516 --> 00:06:29.972 I was actually getting used to messages like this, 00:06:29.996 --> 00:06:34.276 but what became different was that now they started threatening my family. NOTE Paragraph 00:06:35.556 --> 00:06:40.796 So once again, I packed my suitcase, I left music and I moved to the US. 00:06:41.316 --> 00:06:42.572 I'd had enough. 00:06:42.596 --> 00:06:45.212 I didn't want to have anything to do with this anymore. 00:06:45.236 --> 00:06:47.892 And I was certainly not going to be killed for something 00:06:47.916 --> 00:06:50.596 that wasn't even my dream -- it was my father's choice. NOTE Paragraph 00:06:52.996 --> 00:06:56.172 So I kind of got lost. 00:06:56.196 --> 00:06:57.732 I kind of fell apart. 00:06:57.756 --> 00:07:00.092 But I decided that what I wanted to do 00:07:00.116 --> 00:07:03.452 is spend the next however many years of my life 00:07:03.476 --> 00:07:05.132 supporting young people 00:07:05.156 --> 00:07:08.052 and to try to be there in some small way, 00:07:08.076 --> 00:07:09.772 whatever way that I could. 00:07:09.796 --> 00:07:13.052 I started volunteering for various organizations 00:07:13.076 --> 00:07:17.716 that were working with young Muslims inside of Europe. 00:07:18.876 --> 00:07:21.892 And, to my surprise, what I found was 00:07:21.916 --> 00:07:26.396 so many of these young people were suffering and struggling. 00:07:27.236 --> 00:07:30.772 They were facing so many problems with their families and their communities 00:07:30.796 --> 00:07:34.412 who seemed to care more about their honor and their reputation 00:07:34.436 --> 00:07:37.196 than the happiness and the lives of their own kids. 00:07:38.556 --> 00:07:42.556 I started feeling like maybe I wasn't so alone, maybe I wasn't so weird. 00:07:43.076 --> 00:07:45.396 Maybe there are more of my people out there. NOTE Paragraph 00:07:46.076 --> 00:07:48.292 The thing is, what most people don't understand 00:07:48.316 --> 00:07:52.612 is that there are so many of us growing up in Europe 00:07:52.636 --> 00:07:55.052 who are not free to be ourselves. 00:07:55.076 --> 00:07:57.156 We're not allowed to be who we are. 00:07:58.156 --> 00:08:02.212 We are not free to marry 00:08:02.236 --> 00:08:05.172 or to be in relationships with people that we choose. 00:08:05.196 --> 00:08:06.852 We can't even pick our own career. 00:08:06.876 --> 00:08:10.652 This is the norm in the Muslim heartlands of Europe. 00:08:10.676 --> 00:08:13.756 Even in the freest societies in the world, we're not free. 00:08:14.436 --> 00:08:18.332 Our lives, our dreams, our future does not belong to us, 00:08:18.356 --> 00:08:21.612 it belongs to our parents and their community. 00:08:21.636 --> 00:08:24.716 I found endless stories of young people 00:08:25.676 --> 00:08:28.571 who are lost to all of us, 00:08:28.595 --> 00:08:30.331 who are invisible to all of us 00:08:30.355 --> 00:08:33.156 but who are suffering, and they are suffering alone. 00:08:34.316 --> 00:08:38.636 Kids we are losing to forced marriages, to honor-based violence and abuse. NOTE Paragraph 00:08:40.076 --> 00:08:43.772 Eventually, I realized after several years of working with these young people, 00:08:43.796 --> 00:08:45.812 that I will not be able to keep running. 00:08:45.836 --> 00:08:50.492 I can't spend the rest of my life being scared and hiding 00:08:50.516 --> 00:08:52.956 and that I'm actually going to have to do something. 00:08:54.436 --> 00:08:57.532 And I also realized that my silence, our silence, 00:08:57.556 --> 00:08:59.876 allows abuse like this to continue. 00:09:00.796 --> 00:09:05.292 So I decided that I wanted to put my childhood superpower to some use 00:09:05.316 --> 00:09:10.012 by trying to make people on the different sides of these issues understand 00:09:10.036 --> 00:09:15.156 what it's like to be a young person stuck between your family and your country. NOTE Paragraph 00:09:15.756 --> 00:09:19.276 So I started making films, and I started telling these stories. 00:09:19.676 --> 00:09:24.092 And I also wanted people to understand the deadly consequences of us 00:09:24.116 --> 00:09:26.196 not taking these problems seriously. NOTE Paragraph 00:09:26.796 --> 00:09:29.156 So the first film I made was about Banaz. 00:09:29.836 --> 00:09:33.076 She was a 17-year-old Kurdish girl in London. 00:09:33.916 --> 00:09:36.716 She was obedient, she did whatever her parents wanted. 00:09:37.236 --> 00:09:39.652 She tried to do everything right. 00:09:39.676 --> 00:09:42.292 She married some guy that her parents chose for her, 00:09:42.316 --> 00:09:45.276 even though he beat and raped her constantly. 00:09:46.276 --> 00:09:49.092 And when she tried to go to her family for help, they said, 00:09:49.116 --> 00:09:51.372 "Well, you got to go back and be a better wife." 00:09:51.396 --> 00:09:54.212 Because they didn't want a divorced daughter on their hands 00:09:54.236 --> 00:09:57.196 because, of course, that would bring dishonor on the family. 00:09:58.076 --> 00:10:00.676 She was beaten so badly her ears would bleed, 00:10:01.596 --> 00:10:06.692 and when she finally left and she found a young man that she chose 00:10:06.716 --> 00:10:08.532 and she fell in love with, 00:10:08.556 --> 00:10:10.812 the community and the family found out 00:10:10.836 --> 00:10:11.986 and she disappeared. 00:10:13.736 --> 00:10:15.576 She was found three months later. 00:10:16.496 --> 00:10:20.616 She'd been stuffed into a suitcase and buried underneath the house. 00:10:25.116 --> 00:10:28.636 She had been strangled, she had been beaten to death 00:10:30.236 --> 00:10:34.756 by three men, three cousins, on the orders of her father and uncle. 00:10:35.436 --> 00:10:37.612 The added tragedy of Banaz's story 00:10:37.636 --> 00:10:43.532 is that she had gone to the police in England five times asking for help, 00:10:43.556 --> 00:10:46.612 telling them that she was going to be killed by her family. 00:10:46.636 --> 00:10:49.516 The police didn't believe her so they didn't do anything. NOTE Paragraph 00:10:50.556 --> 00:10:51.812 And the problem with this 00:10:51.836 --> 00:10:56.212 is that not only are so many of our kids facing these problems 00:10:56.236 --> 00:10:59.332 within their families and within their families' communities, 00:10:59.356 --> 00:11:02.996 but they're also meeting misunderstandings 00:11:04.116 --> 00:11:07.636 and apathy in the countries that they grow up in. 00:11:09.166 --> 00:11:13.862 When their own families betray them, they look to the rest of us, 00:11:13.886 --> 00:11:15.942 and when we don't understand, 00:11:15.966 --> 00:11:17.166 we lose them. NOTE Paragraph 00:11:18.646 --> 00:11:21.822 So while I was making this film, several people said to me, 00:11:21.846 --> 00:11:24.382 "Well, Deeyah, you know, this is just their culture, 00:11:24.406 --> 00:11:26.597 this is just what those people do to their kids 00:11:26.621 --> 00:11:28.181 and we can't really interfere." 00:11:29.406 --> 00:11:32.606 I can assure you being murdered is not my culture. 00:11:33.806 --> 00:11:35.022 You know? 00:11:35.046 --> 00:11:36.742 And surely people who look like me, 00:11:36.766 --> 00:11:39.262 young women who come from backgrounds like me, 00:11:39.286 --> 00:11:43.382 should be subject to the same rights, the same protections 00:11:43.406 --> 00:11:46.406 as anybody else in our country, why not? NOTE Paragraph 00:11:47.886 --> 00:11:52.622 So, for my next film, I wanted to try and understand 00:11:52.646 --> 00:11:55.502 why some of our young Muslim kids in Europe 00:11:55.526 --> 00:11:57.606 are drawn to extremism and violence. 00:11:58.406 --> 00:11:59.662 But with that topic, 00:11:59.686 --> 00:12:02.846 I also recognized that I was going to have to face my worst fear: 00:12:04.566 --> 00:12:06.166 the brown men with beards. 00:12:08.206 --> 00:12:12.396 Similar men to the ones that have hounded me for most of my life. 00:12:13.286 --> 00:12:15.982 Men that I've been afraid of most of my life. 00:12:16.006 --> 00:12:18.862 Men that I've also deeply disliked, 00:12:18.886 --> 00:12:20.326 for many, many years. NOTE Paragraph 00:12:20.886 --> 00:12:24.862 So I spent the next two years interviewing convicted terrorists, 00:12:24.886 --> 00:12:27.382 jihadis and former extremists. 00:12:27.406 --> 00:12:30.742 What I already knew, what was very obvious already, 00:12:30.766 --> 00:12:35.942 was that religion, politics, Europe's colonial baggage, 00:12:35.966 --> 00:12:40.222 also Western foreign policy failures of recent years, 00:12:40.246 --> 00:12:41.726 were all a part of the picture. 00:12:42.246 --> 00:12:45.502 But what I was more interested in finding out was what are the human, 00:12:45.526 --> 00:12:47.102 what are the personal reasons 00:12:47.126 --> 00:12:51.446 why some of our young people are susceptible to groups like this. 00:12:52.726 --> 00:12:57.086 And what really surprised me was that I found wounded human beings. 00:12:59.486 --> 00:13:01.942 Instead of the monsters that I was looking for, 00:13:01.966 --> 00:13:03.342 that I was hoping to find -- 00:13:03.366 --> 00:13:06.502 quite frankly because it would have been very satisfying -- 00:13:06.526 --> 00:13:08.126 I found broken people. 00:13:09.246 --> 00:13:10.742 Just like Banaz, 00:13:10.766 --> 00:13:14.022 I found that these young men were torn apart 00:13:14.046 --> 00:13:16.582 from trying to bridge the gaps 00:13:16.606 --> 00:13:20.086 between their families and the countries that they were born in. 00:13:21.446 --> 00:13:24.822 And what I also learned is that extremist groups, terrorist groups 00:13:24.846 --> 00:13:28.302 are taking advantage of these feelings of our young people 00:13:28.326 --> 00:13:32.182 and channeling that -- cynically -- channeling that toward violence. 00:13:32.206 --> 00:13:33.782 "Come to us," they say. 00:13:33.806 --> 00:13:36.782 "Reject both sides, your family and your country 00:13:36.806 --> 00:13:38.462 because they reject you. 00:13:38.486 --> 00:13:41.582 For your family, their honor is more important than you 00:13:41.606 --> 00:13:42.862 and for your country, 00:13:42.886 --> 00:13:48.766 a real Norwegian, Brit or a French person will always be white and never you." 00:13:49.766 --> 00:13:53.222 They're also promising our young people the things that they crave: 00:13:53.246 --> 00:13:57.582 significance, heroism, a sense of belonging and purpose, 00:13:57.606 --> 00:14:00.006 a community that loves and accepts them. 00:14:00.926 --> 00:14:03.862 They make the powerless feel powerful. 00:14:03.886 --> 00:14:08.766 The invisible and the silent are finally seen and heard. 00:14:11.746 --> 00:14:14.282 This is what they're doing for our young people. 00:14:14.306 --> 00:14:18.146 Why are these groups doing this for our young people and not us? NOTE Paragraph 00:14:20.686 --> 00:14:22.262 The thing is, 00:14:22.286 --> 00:14:25.622 I'm not trying to justify 00:14:25.646 --> 00:14:29.382 or excuse any of the violence. 00:14:29.406 --> 00:14:32.982 What I am trying to say is that we have to understand 00:14:33.006 --> 00:14:36.166 why some of our young people are attracted to this. 00:14:37.606 --> 00:14:39.942 I would like to also show you, actually -- 00:14:39.966 --> 00:14:43.246 these are childhood photos of some of the guys in the film. 00:14:45.466 --> 00:14:48.426 What really struck me is that so many of them -- 00:14:49.186 --> 00:14:50.842 I never would have thought this -- 00:14:50.866 --> 00:14:54.186 but so many of them have absent or abusive fathers. 00:14:55.026 --> 00:14:56.962 And several of these young guys 00:14:56.986 --> 00:15:01.122 ended up finding caring and compassionate father figures 00:15:01.146 --> 00:15:02.746 within these extremist groups. 00:15:05.346 --> 00:15:08.506 I also found men brutalized by racist violence, 00:15:09.226 --> 00:15:11.482 but who found a way to stop feeling like victims 00:15:11.506 --> 00:15:13.002 by becoming violent themselves. 00:15:13.026 --> 00:15:18.322 In fact, I found something, to my horror, that I recognized. 00:15:18.346 --> 00:15:24.666 I found the same feelings that I felt as a 17-year-old as I fled from Norway. 00:15:25.586 --> 00:15:28.962 The same confusion, the same sorrow, 00:15:28.986 --> 00:15:32.466 the same feeling of being betrayed 00:15:34.137 --> 00:15:35.737 and not belonging to anyone. 00:15:38.656 --> 00:15:41.776 The same feeling of being lost and torn between cultures. NOTE Paragraph 00:15:42.856 --> 00:15:45.392 Having said that, I did not choose destruction, 00:15:45.416 --> 00:15:48.152 I chose to pick up a camera instead of a gun. 00:15:48.176 --> 00:15:51.512 And the reason I did that is because of my superpower. 00:15:51.536 --> 00:15:56.432 I could see that understanding is the answer, instead of violence. 00:15:56.456 --> 00:15:58.152 Seeing human beings 00:15:58.176 --> 00:16:01.912 with all their virtues and all their flaws 00:16:01.936 --> 00:16:03.792 instead of continuing the caricatures: 00:16:03.816 --> 00:16:06.472 the us and them, the villains and victims. 00:16:06.496 --> 00:16:08.592 I'd also finally come to terms with the fact 00:16:08.616 --> 00:16:12.272 that my two cultures didn't have to be on a collision course 00:16:12.296 --> 00:16:15.416 but instead became a space where I found my own voice. 00:16:15.936 --> 00:16:18.672 I stopped feeling like I had to pick a side, 00:16:18.696 --> 00:16:20.776 but this took me many, many years. 00:16:21.736 --> 00:16:23.752 There are so many of our young people today 00:16:23.776 --> 00:16:25.792 who are struggling with these same issues, 00:16:25.816 --> 00:16:27.816 and they're struggling with this alone. 00:16:29.536 --> 00:16:32.176 And this leaves them open like wounds. 00:16:32.656 --> 00:16:35.712 And for some, the worldview of radical Islam 00:16:35.736 --> 00:16:39.096 becomes the infection that festers in these open wounds. NOTE Paragraph 00:16:41.208 --> 00:16:44.433 There's an African proverb that says, 00:16:46.056 --> 00:16:49.072 "If the young are not initiated into the village, 00:16:49.096 --> 00:16:51.856 they will burn it down just to feel its warmth." 00:16:53.336 --> 00:16:54.816 I would like to ask -- 00:16:55.736 --> 00:16:58.272 to Muslim parents and Muslim communities, 00:16:58.296 --> 00:17:00.712 will you love and care for your children 00:17:00.736 --> 00:17:03.512 without forcing them to meet your expectations? 00:17:03.536 --> 00:17:05.976 Can you choose them instead of your honor? 00:17:06.496 --> 00:17:09.512 Can you understand why they're so angry and alienated 00:17:09.536 --> 00:17:11.856 when you put your honor before their happiness? 00:17:12.616 --> 00:17:15.191 Can you try to be a friend to your child 00:17:15.215 --> 00:17:16.992 so that they can trust you 00:17:17.016 --> 00:17:19.312 and want to share with you their experiences, 00:17:19.336 --> 00:17:21.576 rather than having to seek it somewhere else? NOTE Paragraph 00:17:22.455 --> 00:17:25.536 And to our young people tempted by extremism, 00:17:26.720 --> 00:17:30.360 can you acknowledge that your rage is fueled by pain? 00:17:31.736 --> 00:17:35.152 Will you find the strength to resist those cynical old men 00:17:35.176 --> 00:17:38.376 who want to use your blood for their own profits? 00:17:39.136 --> 00:17:41.056 Can you find a way to live? 00:17:41.976 --> 00:17:44.232 Can you see that the sweetest revenge 00:17:44.256 --> 00:17:47.712 is for you to live a happy, full and free life? 00:17:47.736 --> 00:17:50.096 A life defined by you and nobody else. 00:17:50.656 --> 00:17:54.336 Why do you want to become just another dead Muslim kid? 00:17:55.176 --> 00:17:59.336 And for the rest of us, when will we start listening to our young people? 00:18:00.616 --> 00:18:01.872 How can we support them 00:18:01.896 --> 00:18:05.856 in redirecting their pain into something more constructive? 00:18:06.856 --> 00:18:08.312 They think we don't like them. 00:18:08.336 --> 00:18:11.112 They think we don't care what happens to them. 00:18:11.136 --> 00:18:12.912 They think we don't accept them. 00:18:12.936 --> 00:18:15.656 Can we find a way to make them feel differently? 00:18:17.376 --> 00:18:20.312 What will it take for us to see them and notice them 00:18:20.336 --> 00:18:25.272 before they become either the victims or the perpetrators of violence? 00:18:25.296 --> 00:18:28.872 Can we make ourselves care about them and consider them to be our own? 00:18:28.896 --> 00:18:33.752 And not just be outraged when the victims of violence look like ourselves? 00:18:33.776 --> 00:18:38.792 Can we find a way to reject hatred and heal the divisions between us? 00:18:38.816 --> 00:18:42.792 The thing is we cannot afford to give up on each other or on our kids, 00:18:42.816 --> 00:18:44.952 even if they've given up on us. NOTE Paragraph 00:18:44.976 --> 00:18:47.152 We are all in this together. 00:18:47.176 --> 00:18:52.656 And in the long term, revenge and violence will not work against extremists. 00:18:53.576 --> 00:18:57.352 Terrorists want us to huddle in our houses in fear, 00:18:57.376 --> 00:18:59.552 closing our doors and our hearts. 00:18:59.576 --> 00:19:03.392 They want us to tear open more wounds in our societies 00:19:03.416 --> 00:19:06.952 so that they can use them to spread their infection more widely. 00:19:06.976 --> 00:19:09.672 They want us to become like them: 00:19:09.696 --> 00:19:11.936 intolerant, hateful and cruel. NOTE Paragraph 00:19:14.296 --> 00:19:16.752 The day after the Paris attacks, 00:19:16.776 --> 00:19:20.176 a friend of mine sent this photo of her daughter. 00:19:20.896 --> 00:19:23.352 This is a white girl and an Arab girl. 00:19:23.376 --> 00:19:24.576 They're best friends. 00:19:25.216 --> 00:19:28.696 This image is the kryptonite for extremists. 00:19:31.336 --> 00:19:34.392 These two little girls with their superpowers 00:19:34.416 --> 00:19:35.912 are showing the way forward 00:19:35.936 --> 00:19:39.336 towards a society that we need to build together, 00:19:40.216 --> 00:19:43.536 a society that includes and supports, 00:19:44.576 --> 00:19:46.776 rather than rejects our kids. NOTE Paragraph 00:19:48.056 --> 00:19:49.392 Thank you for listening. NOTE Paragraph 00:19:49.416 --> 00:19:56.416 (Applause)